Saturday, November 22, 2008

2122 Eagle Verification

Saturday, November 22, 2008

"Nature" is on PBS right now, and the show is about bald eagles. I am reminded of the time I was standing at a vulture cage in a tiny community zoo somewhere in Wales. A woman and a little girl were standing next to me. They looked at the two vultures silently for a while, then the little girl said, "Mummy, is that a bald eagle?"

The mother answered, "I guess so. It's big and it's bald. Never understood what the Americans saw in such an ugly bird."

I cracked up.

---------------------

To the recycle center today. It was in the middle 20s, and there was a lot of wind. My hands haven't recovered yet. They burn.

But at least I got rid of the two huge garbage bags of shredded paper from the last "cleaning out the files" spasm. My shredder cuts small diamonds, and Jasper had found the bags and torn them open. Little diamonds of paper all over the house.

Jasper is going to kill me. He follows me everywhere (except to the den, which is the exclusive province of Miss Thunderfoot), but he doesn't follow - he leads. He runs in front of me, and then stops suddenly, flopping onto his side or back. I'm always tripping over him. I know he's asking for petting, but that's not the way to get it, and I don't encourage it by petting him when he does it. I've tried to discourage it by "walking through" him, pushing him out of the way with my feet, but it hasn't worked. I'm getting frustrated. It's especially dangerous at night.

---------------------

Chris, over at "Inane Thoughts...", wonders if others have noticed a change in word verification offerings. He says they seem to look more like words now, rather than a random collection of letters.

Yeah, I had noticed. Sometimes they even seem to have some application to the topic, or to carry a comment of their own. Downright eerie. They do seem to be less confusing than the random ones, although they are still not real words. They just look like they could be. Or are trying to be.

On that topic, I read something recently, and as usual I don't remember where, about using real words in the verification process.

Many organizations are putting books online, thousands of paper books are being digitalized by people who stand at scanners all day, feeding in pages. Software takes the scanner images, "reads" them, and translates them to text. Occasionally (or often, depending on the age, font, and condition of the book) a word can't be translated because letters are broken, or the ink is smudged, or the word is clear but not in any dictionary. The software can't figure out what the word should be.

Humans could easily figure out what the word should be, but there are simply too many to make it cost effective.

Somebody had the great idea of using us to figure out what the word is. Many sites are now using those scans for word verification, and as a kind of bonus, they rent the lists, helping to support the book project. We are shown the scan, and we figure out what the word is. I've seen many of them. They're apparent from the smudged ink, the obvious "old book" look, and from the fact that two words are offered, one word being quite clear (that's the REAL verification word), the other being messy.

The folks digitalizing the books collect our guesses on the messy words, which are tagged as to the book and location they came from, and after a certain number of people identify one as a certain word, that information goes into the book text.

Watch for them. At least now when there's frustration, perhaps a virtuous feeling can ameliorate it a tad.
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Friday, November 21, 2008

2121 Spider 'Hood

Friday, November 21, 2008

I got a few things done today. I've discovered that opium incense for some reason will get me off my behind and moving. Very strange, since opium would (I assume, having no first-hand experience) elicit the opposite reaction.

In fact, I even laughed at this video.

[http://www.zippyvideos.com/5694558476583576/thewoodspider/]
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2120 Well, at least I'm alive....

Friday, November 21, 2008

Still with the malaise.

It's time to select the medical, dental, and vision plans for my retirement plan for the next year. The Company sends a thick envelope outlining the choices available in your area. Here, I get a choice of like 10 different medical plans, 7 dental plans, and 3 vision plans.

For several years I'd chosen one of the catastrophic medical plans, where for $170 a month I pay the first x thousand dollars every year, and once that deductible is met, I'm covered for 100% of everything else, and there is no network nonsense. I can handle x thousand if I have to, and I'm getting old enough that catastrophe looms, so that sounded really good.

This year, the exact same plan ominously mentions in and out of network (with no indication of who is in the network), and mentions copays varying from 10% to 50%. The other choices offered don't look any better.

A lot of retirees don't read the package every year. If you don't make any changes, the previous year's plan is extended, so if they've been happy with what they had, they don't bother to look at the options. They just let it ride. I think a lot of people are going to be shocked when they find out that even though their plan still has the same name, and the same deduction from their pitiful retirement check, it's changed drastically.

I did upgrade my dental plan.

As to the malaise, it's affecting everything, even blogs. I go to foreign affairs, news, and political blogs that I had read avidly every day, take one look, and think "Who cares", and hit the back button. I go to personal blogs, click on "comment", and think "He/she doesn't really need my whatever", and click the red X.

It's like that with everything.

The temperature has been described as "January, not November!". I am miserable. My snowthrower is still in the shop. Snow showers are predicted several days next week, and since the temperature hasn't gone over 35 in what feels like ages (in the TEENS overnight!) any snow that falls is likely to stick.

I want to hibernate.
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

2119 Baghdad is Huge

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

We see photos from Baghdad. They're usually at street level. They don't convey the real sense of the city. See http://www.michaeltotten.com/archives/2008/11/in-country-2.php for an eye-opener.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

2118 S.A.D.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I'm sad. It's cold and dark and dreary all the time here now. We won't get out of the 30s for at least a week, that's as far as the local weathermen want to go, anyway. Today there were tiny flurries of snow, and there's more predicted.

Last Tuesday, I put the snowthrower out in front of the garage for the service guys to pick up. That's what they'd told me to do. When I left for dinner, it was still there. The top of my driveway is not visible from the road, so I figured it was safe. When I got home that night it was gone.

Yesterday it occurred to me that it had been a week, and I'm only assuming they'd taken it, so I stopped by the shop in the village to check. Yeah, they had it, but they hadn't started work on it yet. Today I got the "uh oh" call. The carburetor is all gummed up, cleaning didn't ungum it, they need to order parts, it might take a while, and I didn't ask, but it sounds expensive.

You know, every year, for the past eleven years, at the end of winter I forget to run the old gas out. And I forget to put the drops in the tank to keep the gas from getting yucky. The gas sits in it all summer. Then almost every fall I get it serviced, and it's fine. Sometimes I let the servicing go too late, and it doesn't get serviced, and it's fine. Last winter I put the drops in, and early this summer I ran it to burn out the old gas and clear the carburetor. For the first time in twelve years I did it right! And for the first time ever ....

Oh Hell. I don't understand. Makes me wonder why I bother. Why try. Nothing seems to make any difference.

I'm getting buried in paper again. Last time I dug myself out I promised myself I would sort the mail as soon as I brought it in, and I'd pay the bills as soon as they arrived, and I'd put each day's newspaper in the recycle bag before the next day's arrived. Yeah. Sure. Why do I have so much trouble with that? It's so simple, and not inconvenient. But I just don't do it. I don't know why.

I'm getting nothing done around here. I look around and feel overwhelmed, and do nothing. It's pretty bad.

I'm having tooth problems. I think I'm losing bone in the front of my upper jaw, and on the right side upper and lower. My teeth are migrating. I'm growing a space between my upper front teeth. The upper right side teeth seem to be dropping. The jaw seems to arc downward. It screws up my bite, and when they'd moved a bit again, I get pain in my jaw from the teeth not meeting correctly. Then they nestle in and the pain stops for a while. This has been going on for about three years.

I haven't seen a dentist since shortly after Jay died. My previous dentist (cleanings every six months) is where I lived before I married Jay, and that's about an hour away. I figured I'd find one closer. They won't let me drive that far if any drastic work is done. About once a year, when the moving teeth intrude on my wandering mind, I call around to try to find one. Most local dentists are not accepting new patients, period. The few who are, are booked up for three to six months. So I haven't made any appointments.

It's like I don't care.

I've got some medical issues, too. I don't know why I keep putting it off. At this point it's like I don't want to look too hard at anything, because what if they find something? Better not to know.

I'm putting weight on again. I don't know why. The goal was to lose 10 or 15 more pounds, and instead I've put 10 back on over the past year.

I'm pretty sure a large part of this is seasonal affective disorder (SAD). But thinking that doesn't make it any better. I'm afraid I might drive The Man away with my blahs. And right now I'm so blah I don't care about that, either.

I'm starting to care a lot less about a lot of things.
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Sunday, November 16, 2008

2117 Thud

Sunday, November 16, 2008

There's a semi-local family who will be competing in a national family cook off. Their specialty is a fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich. They use wheat bread and light butter to make it healthy.

I don't know how to describe my reaction to that.

It's so wrong on so many levels it blew everything else out of my brain. I have no other thoughts.

We are doomed.
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Saturday, November 15, 2008

2116 Msg to Granny, re alerts

Saturday, November 15, 2008

[Later - 6:30 pm -- wouldn't you know it? Bloglines is down again. I'm getting no updates today, and trying to do some operations gets a "loading" loop. They're really starting to bug me.]

This is a reply to PDX Granny, regarding how to get blog post alerts. There are several ways to get alerts and feeds. Some people prefer Google, I like Bloglines.

If you'd like to try it, go to www.bloglines.com, and set up a free account. Unfortunately, it recognizes me when I go there, so I can't go through the steps to describe them for you, but it's not difficult. Once you have an account, you'll get a split screen. The left side is where you'll see your list of subscriptions, and on the right side you get the text.

On the left, at the top, you'll see "Add". Click on it. Then on the right you'll be able to type in the URL of a blog (or news feed or just about anything) you want to follow. Click "Subscribe".

You'll then be given a list of feeds for that URL. I always just pick the one that already has the most subscribers. Down a little further, choose the "full feed" option. Some blogs feed only the first few lines, some feed the full post. The full post is most convenient if they provide it.

Once you have subscribed, you'll see new posts in the list on the left. If you click on that, Bloglines will give you the text, on the right. If the blog owner has chosen to provide full feeds, you can read the entire post right there. (Sometimes embedded videos don't show, though. That's why I always include the URL of the video.)

If you click on the post title on the right, you'll go directly to the post, including comments. If you click on the blog title, you'll go to the blog. At the bottom of the post you'll see a little "Keep new" square. If you click on that, it'll hang around until you uncheck it. That way, you can keep things you might want to look at again.

If the text of the post is too wide for the right side of the screen, press "m", and you'll get full screen. Press "m" again to go back.

Have fun. Warning - this makes it so easy to follow a blog, that you can end up with 50 or 60 or more in your list.
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2115 B1, B2, and B3 Explained!

Saturday, November 14, 2008

B1, B2, and B3 are of course the Banes-of-my-life from Post #2113. I figured out what the problem is. I just have to stop speaking German to them! Apparently, German is very open to misinterpretation.

I accidentally discovered a plethora of parodies/satires on YouTube. Folks have put subtitles on a clip from a Hitler movie - many versions of what's being said, all on the same clip. Some of them are very funny. If you double click on any of these, it'll take you to YouTube, and you'll find more similar clips listed on the right.

If you understand German and it distracts you from the subtitles, mute the sound. Warning - some blue language in the subtitles, but what do you expect from Hitler?

Hitler gets caught in the housing bubble. I cracked up when he asked about his 401K.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNmcf4Y3lGM]

Hitler gets banned from Wikipedia.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYvldOuZ6_k&feature=related]

Hitler's ride is stolen.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukAhlxl4hmM&feature=related]
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Friday, November 14, 2008

2114 My Head Hurts

Friday, November 14, 2008

This post was a comparison of 1957 to 2007. It got posted (by someone else) to a national Mensa discussion group, where, among other things, political topics are banned.

The post was deleted as having violated the ban on politics.

This kicked off some objections. Some people saw it as not so much political, but simply social commentary. That's my opinion, too.

What got my head hurting (probably due to all the eye-rolling) was that about half considered it a commentary on the sad state of society in 2007. The other half saw it as a commentary on the sad state of society in 1957.

----------------------------

Decision made, by the way. I was with The Man last night, Karaoke (he did a terrific job on Prince's "Purple Rain") and dinner, so I missed Survivor. I've decided to watch it on YouTube this evening instead of going out. Maybe all I was looking for was an excuse to stay home. Cold drizzle out there.
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2113 More Blah

Friday, November 14, 2008

I'm debating whether to go to an event this evening. I'd like to go, but I guess I need to figure out how much I want to go. The biggest problem is that I can't decide on the criteria for the decision. I feel like I'm just dangling here. If I dangle long enough, time will make the decision for me.

---------------------------

I had mentioned a very unsettled feeling Tuesday night, that disturbed my sleep. I think I figured it out. It was foreboding.

There are three people locally that I don't get along with, no matter how hard I try. From my viewpoint, each of them seems to take everything I say or do the wrong, most negative, most insulting, way. A few people have said that these people seem to be afraid of me or something. Like they think I judge them constantly and find them wanting, and they're looking for proof of this in every contact.

They hear what they want to hear, not what I say.

I don't understand.

Anyway, one of these people was at the dinner Tuesday evening, let's call that person B1 (for "Bane-of-my-life 1"), and in the course of talking about a particular topic B1 mentioned that B2 had done something that B1 thought was very nice. I commented that yes, it needed doing, and it's nice that B2 is willing to step in when things need doing, but that B2 should not have done it, that because of B2's position in the group the rules bar B2's participation in that process, that B2's having done it could invalidate the local group elections if anyone chose to oppose them.

I realize now that the foreboding started at that instant.

Sure enough, Thursday morning there's a fiery email, two of them actually, from B2, saying that I may have a legitimate gripe, but it's not with B2, and blah blah blah explanations and defenses. B2 is freaking apoplectic. All B2's reasons and explanations don't change the fact that B2 shouldn't have done what B2 did, and B2 knows that! I don't know how to respond to B2, or even whether I should.

I suspect that what B2 heard was delivered in words and tones other than the ones I actually used. To be true to myself, perhaps I should respond by clarifying exactly what I said. If B2 still objects to that, well, so be it.

It's not finished. I have a feeling I'll hear from B3, as soon as the (distorted further) report gets circulated. Because, horror of all horrors, B3 did the same prohibited thing. And as soon as B2 and B3 tell the person who SHOULD have done the thing but didn't, necessitating their doing it, I'll probably acquire a B4.

I just gotta learn to keep my mouth shut. Or find a more adult bunch of people to associate with.
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Thursday, November 13, 2008

2112 Bloglines Kerflooey?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

What's the deal with Bloglines today? I'm getting 200 updates on every blog I've subscribed to. It looks like they're considering everything posted in 2006 and 2007 as a new post. It's not anything the bloggers did, like change templates, because mine is one of them and I didn't do anything different.

That's not the worst - after I mark them "read", the next time the screen refreshes, all 200 are back on the list. Right now I'm showing like 3000+ posts "to be read".
----------------

It's two hours later, and it's up to 5100 posts to be read. I'm beginning to wonder if Bloglines has picked up all the programmers AOL laid off. Looks like the same fingerprints....
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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

2111 1957-2007 - 50 years of progress

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Garbage is out. Bed is delayed because I found this:


Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.


Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.


Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.


Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by ACLU. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that learning English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.

2007- ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.


Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

-------------------------

Of course it's supposed to be funny. But it's too close to the truth to be funny.
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2110 Sigh

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I'm feeling blah today. Don't know why. I just don't have any enthusiasm for or about anything. Even LOLCats left me cold today. I had a vague feeling of dissatisfaction, of something being wrong, all night last night. Didn't sleep well. My body feels all achy, too. That's a chicken-or-egg thing. Achy because I'm blah, or blah because I'm achy?

I think I'll take the garbage to the end of the driveway and go to bed early.
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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

2109 Northern Spies

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Mensa dinner tonight, seven of us at the Northern Spy Cafe in High Falls. An intriguing name until you realize that the restaurant is next to apple orchards, and "Northern Spy" is a variety of apple.

As of 5 pm there were supposed to be 10 at table, but as usual, several people canceled at the last moment. That does annoy me.

Here's the crew, without names. None of them have names....



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Sunday, November 09, 2008

2108 Ok, I'm a Conspiracy Nut

Sunday, November 9, 2008

From FailBlog.org:
Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his. ...




PunditKitchen.com has a photo of Pres. Bush on the phone. The caption has him asking, "Is there any quick way for me to revoke all those powers I gave my office?"




In case you missed Craig Ferguson's show last Friday, Ferguson chatted with "President Bush", who was bubble-wrapping items in the oval office. He asked Bush if he had voted, and for whom. Bush said yes, and that he had voted for Obama. Paraphrased: "If I voted for that other guy, we'd have four more years of Cheney's mess. "

Then Bush told Ferguson to tell Obama that he'd be packed up and out of the Oval Office by Monday. Ferguson pointed out that he didn't have to be out until January 20th, "You're still President until then. Check the Constitution." Bush said he couldn't, he didn't have a copy, "Cheney burned them all."

I cracked up.

My opinion is that Cheney wanted to be President all along, but knew he'd never win an election, so G.W. was chosen as an electable, gullible, and easily controlled front man.

I've never felt great animosity toward G.W. Bush. He was simply stupid, and can be forgiven because he didn't do things out of bad intent, and had no understanding of the consequences of his actions. I think Cheney was downright flatout evil. He knew damn well what he was doing, and his intent was not honorable. Evil in every sense. VICE-President. The title fit.

I also think Cheney had something to do with the selection of Palin (although it was Henry Kissinger who convinced McCain to choose her). It would not be a good idea for Cheney to try for Vice-President again, because he's too tied to the failures of the past eight years. Palin would be malleable, "trust me, Little Lady...". McCain would not be so easily controlled, but nobody would expect him to last further than the first four years anyway, and he wasn't likely to change much of anything Cheney had set up, unlike many of the others who had entered the primaries. This ticket was Cheney's dream, if only it could win.

The pundits are all blathering about the "split" in the Republican party. I think there's another split they've missed. I think The Powers of the Republican party didn't really want to win this election. It helps to explain some of the stupidities of the Republican campaign.

The next President is inheriting a royal mess. There are things that will have to be done that will be very unpopular. Many of those actions will look very socialistic, which will strongly alienate the Republican voting base, who will not understand the absolute necessity for those actions. Many problems will require more than four years to show improvement.

So if the next President and Congress does a good job, and gets things turned around and headed onto the right track, it probably won't pay off during the first term, and it could be at the cost of popularity. So why not let the Democrats take that heat, instead of the Republicans? 2012 is the right time to waltz in and reap the benefits.

Conspiracy theories. Oh, my. But I can easily believe them, or some version thereof.

By the way, how and when did intelligence, education, and understanding become a character fault?

I wonder what would happen if we gave an election, and nobody came.




There's a underground movie floating around out there, "Zeitgeist". The "Addendum" clip linked from that site is over two hours long and I haven't watched it yet, but I will. The original is in three parts. The first deals with religion (which will immediately alienate most viewers - an attempt to separate the susceptible from the skeptics, perhaps? - but is worth the time anyway, I think), the second is about 9/11, and the third is about the financial interests that influence, perhaps even rule, the world. Perhaps the new addendum is a fourth part? I don't know yet.

It reminds me a lot of Rosicrucians. I met and was friendly with a group of Rosicrucians when I lived in St. Louis. They gave me pamphlets and books and urged me to join. It smacked of elitism to me - they seemed so smug in their "secret knowledge", their select status. Sorta like Saved Christians. Or Freemasons. I just don't feel I need for that. Anyway, back to the topic ....

As with all films of that type, it's a bit sensationalist, throws in everything including half a dozen styles of kitchen sink, and ignores the possibility of simpler explanations and motives. But among all the dross and leaps of speculation, there's a solid core of fact and explanation. It's up to the viewer to sort it out, and when you do, you're left with a handful of very scary ideas.

One of the chief criticisms of the theories presented, particularly those of the third part on financial interests, is that this conspiracy theory has been around in one form or another for hundreds of years, and has been repeatedly discredited and disproved, and therefore ought to be given up as a myth that's dragged out every so often by disgruntled people for their own purposes. Like when the Nazis used it, for example.

Um, misapplication doesn't make it untrue. The conspiracy may not be as organized and/or hierarchical as the movie implies, but I do believe that the motives certainly exist, in cells and individuals.

Like Cheney. A movement and conspiracy of his own.




In reference to nothing, just in case you aren't aware, the wealth of the top 1% in the US has tripled in the last 35 years, while the bottom 50% haven't advanced at all. Where did the top 1% get it? From the bottom 50%. The rich have their own version of redistributing the wealth. They object to it only when it works in the biblical way - see 2 Corinthians 8:9-15 :

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich. …

For I do not mean that others should be eased and you burdened, but that as a matter of fairness your abundance at the present time should supply their need, so that their abundance may supply your need, that there may be fairness. As it is written, “Whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack.” [here quoting from the Hebrew scriptures, Exodus 16:18]


Where is the line drawn between Christian action and socialism? I suspect it's "when it inconveniences me".
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2107 Thud

"Firefighter's Instructions" sign seen recently in a NJ hotel elevator:

When flashing, exit elevator.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

2106 Freeze

Saturday, November 8, 2008

It's 55 outside. There is no wind, the air is still. I am inside, in the den, laboring over a hot laptop. I am wearing a long-sleeved turtleneck sweater, slacks, knee socks, and closed shoes. The thermostat says it's 73 in the living room, right around the corner.

I'm FREEZING! My hands, feet, and nose are icy. I'll need a thicker bra if anyone visits.

I don't understand.

I'm gonna hate winter.
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2105 Ladies Only

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Males who found their way here should wander away now, or pass it over to their ladies.

[Later edit - On second thought, men should read the material at the links, here and most especially absolutely here. The Man seems to know this stuff by instinct, and you should too. Highly recommended.]

I'm sure this rates as TMI, but it's the surprising results of a little research I did today, out of curiosity, engendered by some experiences I've had over the past 18 months. I wish I had known some of this stuff decades ago.

Like most women, I wondered if I was "average", or "normal". Did I look right "down there"? Like most women, I'd never seen what other women looked like. There were photos and drawings in "your body" type books, but, uh, they never looked like me, so instead of helping, they made me wonder even more.

I had asked a few men along the years, and they all said yeah sure, you're just fine, but first off most of them had very little experience, one, two, or three other women, and second, I suspect that's considered a question of the "do these pants make me look fat" variety, which made me rather shy about anyone getting close enough to actually look at the fool thing.

I had asked some female doctors during the Pap test, and they always assured me I was perfectly normal. But then, they were the same ones that told me that the long curly black hair that I had to tweeze from around my nipples was normal, too. It felt too much like "there's nothing we can do with this mess anyway, so let's just pat her on the head and send her on her way, poor disfigured thing".

With the internet and Google, now we can check out lots of pictures, and read all kinds of things we'd never know how to find in a library.

And guess what? It turns out I'm not normal, in several ways, and mostly not the ways I thought.

My labia majora are unusually large and thick. I remember that when I was young, I always wore bathing suits with a straight modesty panel (which doesn't exist any more), or with a skirt, because when my tummy is flat, the mons is very obvious, prominent.

My labia minora are almost non-existent. There's a lot of tissue up around the clitoris, there's a lot of hood, perhaps even an excessive amount, but then they thin and disappear almost immediately. They don't reach even as far as the urethra. This is apparently very unusual. I've found nothing similar anywhere.

In all those other pictures or drawings, you could see the clitoris. Mine is invisible, so well buried that when it's asleep, it's difficult to locate, so I assumed I was unusually small there. It turns out it's the large thick labia majora and excess hood that hides it. In actual fact, according to the size ranges here, mine's not small at all. In fact, the head and shaft are more than twice the length and twice the width of the top numbers of the "average" ranges.

Whoa.

The article says that they get larger with age, but I haven't noticed that much change since I first discovered it, and I think their numbers include post-menopausal women anyway.

So yeah, I'm not "normal".

I found out something interesting that I didn't know before, but should have expected. I was aware that the clitoris contains the same corpus cavernosum arrangements as the penis, and recently discovered it's capable of quite impressive erection. And we all know that the male penis doesn't stop at the junction of the penis and belly - it keeps on going and can be felt for some distance behind the scrotum. But I never wondered how far the clitoral corpus cavernosum extended.

Both versions of the corpus cavernosum bifurcate near the far end. I don't know where the male version bifurcates or where the ends go, but the female version splits near the base, passes on either side of the urethra, and extends along the sides of the vaginal entrance. That's cool! And it explains that firmness and swelling I'd noticed in those areas down the sides when things get interesting.

This site (which is also linked from the earlier one) addresses female ejaculation, the what, why, and how, the female prostate and the G-Spot, better than any other explanation I've seen.

Explore. Then, "Ladies, start your engines!"
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Friday, November 07, 2008

2104 Stories Behind the Curtains

Friday, November 7, 2008

When I travel at night, I look at house windows as I pass. Sometimes the curtains are open and I can see decorations on walls, a flickering television set, or a dining room chandelier. Rarely actual people, unless there's a party with people standing around.

But the ones that fascinate me are the houses with lights on, and closed curtains. I always wonder what stories are behind the curtains. Every house has a story, and some of the stories are horrifying, and very likely no one but the people in the house knows.

When I was young, I was always surprised at how many people really liked my parents. They were very popular. They described my father as funny and intelligent, and my mother as beautiful and caring. They didn't know what went on behind the curtains. There was no fun, and no caring. Quite the opposite.

It has affected my reactions to people. I don't trust my first impressions when people seem just too nice. I can't help but wonder what they're hiding. Sometimes people have curtains inside, too.

When I first met Jay, I thought he had lived an idyllic childhood - in the same house the whole time, in a beautiful neighborhood, neighbors he'd known all his life, the same schoolmates, a close financially comfortable family who took family vacations and did things together, parents who wanted the best for him, a mother who was a gourmet cook and magazine-perfect housekeeper. It sounded like a '50s family sitcom.

It was so different from my childhood, I was foolish enough to envy him.

That was just how it looked from the outside. Behind the curtains, Jay's mother had experienced postpartum depression, and had rejected him for most of his first year. It looks like his sisters weren't very involved with him either, because they can't remember much of his youth. His father belittled him whenever Jay made a decision or did something in a way different from the way he would have done it. If Jay didn't think exactly the way his father did, his father told him he was stupid (literally! I have heard him say "That's stupid" to comments from Jay) and took the decision or project away from him, and did it himself, including school science fair entries. Going through the files after Jay's father's death, I discovered that Jay's father had filled out all the applications, and had written all the letters and all the essays for all the various summer classes and internships, camps, and schools Jay had applied for, including college. Jay then copied them over in his own handwriting. Obviously Jay was incapable of doing it himself to his father's standards.

I suspect the glow on the curtains hid a very cold atmosphere inside.

The result was that the adult Jay had great difficulty making decisions, and very little confidence. If he could hold something close to his chest, he was confident that it was good, but if he had to turn it over for someone else's judgment, he wasn't so sure. That's why he blew Company schedule after schedule. He was never sure his work was good enough to call it finished.

Jay also was not sure that he was worthy of love. At first, I saw that he was very attached to his mother. She died several years before we married, and later I came to realize that it was not so much that he was attached to her, as that he wanted her to be attached to him. The 45 year-old Jay had nightmares about her walking away from the child him, and not looking back, turning a corner and disappearing so that he couldn't find her.

Behind the curtains they weren't such a perfect family after all.

I wonder if there are any perfect families. I don't mean perfect perfect, I mean families where people aren't being damaged over and over.

In fact , I was fortunate in a way. My childhood home was so extreme that even as a child I knew it was wrong, that it wasn't at all the way it was supposed to be, so that eventually I was able to dump the feeling that it was all my fault. Jay's family's disfunction, on the other hand, was more subtle, and it was more difficult for him to push the faults and blame away from himself. He never did, actually. He died too soon. At least before he died, he did learn that he was worthy of love and admiration.

I was aware when I met The Man that because of my total lack of a tan and the depth of his tan, we would have had very different experiences, and that it would affect our different attitudes and responses. It does. We are both fairly intelligent, so there are a lot thinking patterns we have in common, and we are sometimes able to address the superficial things we don't. What I didn't realize is that some of those differences are very deep and pervasive, and I am having difficulty with them. He probably is, too. For example, he's very closed emotionally. He doesn't trust easily. He doesn't "let you in" easily. He withdraws when he's pressured or under stress. He's fiercely protective of himself (and me). I tend to see him as paranoid, until I back up and remember some of the things that have happened to him, and I understand where it comes from. That doesn't make it any easier, especially when a criticism of those patterns is taken as an attack on him. If it doesn't work out between us, it will be because of my need to be "inside", and his need to defend himself from that.

His curtains are all inside. It's probably not safe to open them.
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2103 Thursday in Newburgh

Friday, November 7, 2008

The Man and I met in Newburgh last night, at one of his favorite karaoke bars. There were some other guys there, about the same age as The Man, who were very good. They kind of knew The Man from previous evenings, and last night they started having fun, backing each other up or dancing around whichever was singing.

I think he had a good time. I know I did, watching them.

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I called Piper this morning, because we'd had a tentative lunch meeting set up, but mainly because yesterday I received a letter from New York State saying that I owed more on my taxes, and they're assessing penalties. I can't believe the 2008 tax crap isn't over YET!

He said he wasn't up for lunch, and would probably be leaving the office soon. Said he had terrific abdominal cramps. He said he'd call me in the afternoon to let me know how he was, but he didn't call. I drove past his office a little over an hour ago when I went to the post office, and his flag wasn't out, so I guess he did go home early. I hope he's ok.

Everywhere else, my world is completely blah.
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Thursday, November 06, 2008

2102 Explanation of the experiment

Thursday, November 6, 2008

If you didn't listen to the previous post, the experiment, please do. I don't know how long it will be up.

He didn't tell me he was going to sing a second song that Saturday night, he didn't tell me what he was going to sing, and he didn't tell me it was recorded. It was a surprise on Monday, my birthday. This one is not one of the songs he usually sings, he said it's not one that karaoke crowds go for, so I guess it was 'specially selected. Forgive me if I think it has meaning.

He has an amazing voice. His speaking voice is soft, deep, and slightly rough, but when he sings, he takes on the voice, phrasing, and accent of the original artist. I don't know how he does it. When he sings Barry White, he sounds just like him. He sang Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" for me once, and sounded just like her. It's pretty incredible.
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This is an experiment

I hope everyone can hear this - click on the inner "file" box (not the X!) - you may have to click twice.

(It'll repeat until you tell it to stop. I don't know how to change that. Also, the comments got lost when I replaced the previous experimental post with this one, so feel free to comment again if you like.)

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

2101 Election night

Wednesday, November 5, 2008 - 1:10 am

I've been following the election results on network TV and online on CNN. The one state I'm very curious about is Alaska. I'd love to see how that one goes, but their polls didn't even close until ten minutes ago. I'm not going to wait up for them.

Something interesting I noticed. On the CNN website, at http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/results/president/, they show the states in red or blue. You can click on a state and see the counties in that state in red or blue.

The very interesting thing is that in many states, whether it ended up red or blue, the rural counties are almost always red, and the metropolitan counties are almost always blue. Go to the site and click on Pennsylvania, and you'll see a stark example of what I mean. Erie, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Harrisburg, Allentown, State College, all blue. The rest of the state, all red.

It would be easy to say "Oh, that's the Black vote" - except that Blacks are still a minority on a county basis. It really does look like city and suburban folk in general went blue, and country folk went red.
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Tuesday, November 04, 2008

2100 Crazy eBay

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I'll go months with no problems on eBay, and then all of a sudden things go crazy, even with people I've bought from over and over. I don't understand. It's happened like that several times - months of no problem, then one problem after another over a short time.

I bought some sew-on doflinkies. The description said there were 30 in the package. The "hang on a display hook-type" package arrived still sealed, and it says "count: 30" on it. But I counted the doflinkies through the plastic, several times, several ways, and there are only 28 in the package. Three stacks - 9, 9, 10. It's obvious that the one stack is higher than the others.

I contacted the seller. He sells hundreds of these things, and he says he'd never heard that before. He wants me to send the package back and he'll replace it.

I bought an orange silk sari with gold stripes on the pallu and gold butis on the body. What arrived was an orange artificial silk sari with a turquoise and gold zari pallu.

I contacted the seller, and sent her a photo of what had arrived. She says she can't locate the sari I had bought, and she can't understand that I received a sari with a turquoise pallu, because she has never owned a sari with a turquoise pallu. I know it came from her, because there was a second sari in the same package that I HAD purchased from her. And it's not like I've mixed it up with another, because it's unlike any other I had ordered. She has refunded my payment, and said I can keep the sari, but I'd feel guilty about keeping it. I intend to return it to her. Maybe when she sees it she'll recognize it?

I bought a turquoise kurta with beading around the neckline. It arrived with beads missing, threads hanging, right at the front of the V-neck. I can't repair it easily by moving beads from the back, because the facing covers the stitching.

I sent the seller a scan of the damaged section, and she has refunded my payment in full and said I can keep the kurta anyway.

I bought a large number of bars of Coast Original Blue soap as a gift to The Man, who loves the stuff. Coast had replaced the Original Blue scent with Pacific Force scent a few years ago, and he doesn't like Pacific Force. Original Blue is next to impossible to find, so I was in extended communication with the seller as to whether she was sure it was really Original, and I checked with several other of her buyers who verified that what they had received was absolutely the original scent. When it arrived, the outer packaging said original blue. I gave one test bar to The Man a week ago, and he says it's Pacific Force, not the original. I guess I'm stuck with that purchase, because all I have is a handful of conflicting opinions. I've been trying to find Coast Pacific Force so I can conduct my own sniff comparison, but neither my local grocery store nor pharmacy seem to carry it.

This has all happened in the past week, after months of nothing but perfect transactions. Some of them, like the kurta and the sari, leave me feeling vaguely guilty.

Maybe the eBay gods are trying to tell me something?

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Breaking news - the news station I'm watching has Obama taking Pennsylvania and Florida, which are significant to the outcome. On the other hand, that's with like 5% of the precincts reporting. I don't know how they can predict a victory on such a small sample.
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2099 Election Day, TBBT, Boston Legal, other bits

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

12:42 pm. I overslept. Woke at 11 this morning. I went to bed at 11 last night, worked some crosswords and logic problems and fell asleep at about midnight, and had several nightmares. Strange. I woke myself up crying twice, choking once. I can't remember the dreams, but at least I'm certain they were not political.

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I cracked up at Denny Crane's explanation last night on "Boston Legal" as to why he was voting for McCain: "salmon and sex". The northern salmon is in trouble. If McCain wins, all the intelligent people will move to Canada, thus raising the general IQ level of Canada, and all those smart people will figure out a way to save the salmon. And if McCain wins, all the women left in the US will be depressed, and "everyone knows" depressed women are easy. So it all comes down to spawning. Salmon and sex.

I love that show. But I strongly object to the depiction of the Asperger guy, Jerry. Asperger's Syndrome shows up in a variety of ways, but the show's writers have concentrated on the odd physical patterns, which they have carried to excess, while ignoring the low empathy, emotional paralysis, and inability to pick up social signals. He's not a typical Aspie any more than Denny Crane has Mad Cow. In fact, I think there's a lot more Tourette's syndrome and OCD than Asperger's in Jerry.

Viewers get the Mad Cow joke, but I'm afraid they don't see through the exaggerated and inaccurate Aspy depiction. For a better depiction of Asperger's, see Sheldon on "The Big Bang Theory" (Monday at 8 pm on CBS).

------------------

5:02 pm. I'm back. I voted. I'd heard so much about the long lines, but there were only three other people in line when I arrived. We're still using the mechanical lever machines, which is comforting (and the place I went to had only one machine). I split my vote all over the place. In the state and local elections I voted not so much for a particular candidate as against the one that had the nastiest commercials - sending my own message that nasty doesn't work with me. It happened to work that way in the presidential vote, too, but that wasn't the main criteria there.

I dropped off some dry cleaning - five silk sweaters, one silk blouse, $37. Ouch!

I arranged to have my snowthrower picked up for service. (I hate winter!)

I also stopped at the post office and the grocery store.

I forgot to stop at the bank. Well, I'll be fresh for that tomorrow.
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Monday, November 03, 2008

2098 Bits

Monday, November 3, 2008

Tomorrow I have to yell at have a discussion with my bank (actually it's a credit union). I have multiple checking accounts there, which I use for different purposes. They require that you have a savings account for every checking account, so I opened the savings accounts and put a small amount in each. According to their documentation back when I opened them, they require a minimum of $5 in the savings. I have about $150 in each. I don't use savings accounts for savings - there are better places to put savings. I also have a money market account with them, which I use occasionally when I need to park large amounts of money that will be dribbling out over a few months. There's about $600 in that account right now.

Today I discovered that they have been assessing a "Low balance fee" of $1 a month on all those savings accounts, and $10 a month on the money market account! That's a load of bull poop, especially since they never mentioned any increase in the minimum!

Yeah, I get quarterly statements on the savings and money market, but I file them without looking at them, because there's no activity on them. I guess one has to look to make SURE there's no activity.

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I went shopping today in a large store, at about 3:30 pm. I wandered around a long time. When I came out of the store I almost panicked! There was a TV show I wanted to watch on at 8 pm, and it was cold and full dark in the parking lot. I was sure I was late and wouldn't get home in time for my show.

Then I looked at my watch. 5:30. I hate winter.

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I listened to NPR on the way home from shopping. They were talking about a gorgeous $260M glass cruise ship terminal built in Shanghai. The hope is that it will encourage tourism. Unfortunately, they built it inland above a bridge, and, um, it so happens that one third of the world's cruise ships won't fit under the bridge, and most of the others have to calculate tides and fiddle schedules to get under. Worse, of the newer ships currently being built, two thirds won't make it under. Story here.

I think it's a riot.

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Another topic on NPR was an initiative somewhere, California?, on the ballot to legalize prostitution. A prostitute said that she had once been raped, and could not report it to the police, and since rapists know this, protitutes are always in danger. If her profession were legalized, then prostitutes would be safer.

My mind wandered off. I have to wonder about the conditions. Granted that there's a difference between on duty and off duty, if she's on duty at the time, at what point does it move from theft of services to rape? That's an old question, but I haven't heard a good answer yet.
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2097 Mac on Vista

Monday, November 3, 2008

I'm starting to get really bugged by the Mac commercials that go on and on about the "problems" with Vista.

I've been on Vista for a bit over 18 months now, and I've had no problems, and have no complaints. None. Zero. Zip. **

I went directly from 98E to Vista, so I don't know what's different from NT. All I know is I'm quite satisfied. Granted, I don't do a lot of fancy stuff, but I'm all over the internet, and Vista has protected me just fine. The one time that I approved a download that I shouldn't have (and Vista warned me not to), and ended up with a supposedly unremovable virus, the backup/restore facility, which was very easy to use, got rid of it in short order.

I suspect that a lot of the "problems" are from people using applications that have not been upgraded to and are incompatible with Vista.

Mac is starting to sound a lot like McCain. If we have nothing to offer beyond history, well, let's just scare the customers away from the competition with vague "problems".

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** Later - Well, actually, I do have one complaint. When you search for a file, the result presents the file to you, but doesn't tell you where it resides. Of course, that could be my problem - I just don't know how to find things, and haven't been concerned enough to find out.
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Sunday, November 02, 2008

2096 Self Portrait, How To

Sunday, November 2, 2008

People often take their own picture by pointing the camera into a mirror. They usually end up with something like this (scarfed off an online dating profile, and yes, that was his only photo) -->

Hint: If you have a digital camera with the screen on the back, so you have to use a mirror somehow, do not point the camera at the mirror. Hold the camera to the side with the lens toward yourself, and the display screen toward the mirror. You can look at the screen in the mirror to frame, zoom in or out, and focus, and then click the button. Ta rah! No flash on the mirror.
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2095 Cat Photos!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

I took the new camera's book to bed with me last night, and installed the software this morning.

The photos are huge, 1.5 to 3.5 megabytes each! Now I have to figure out how best to size them. The camera will do it, but the photo I reduced in the camera according to their recommendation for posting on a website came out tiny. Gotta experiment a bit. Oh, and the card I bought is 4 G, not 4 M.

This is Jasper, under the buffet in the dining room (click on it to enlarge the photo). That's where he takes his toys for serious destruction. All that glitter behind him is the remains of a foil ball. The rolled up rug is a silk oriental waiting to go under the table. Note the nick in his right ear (Ears! We've got EARS!), and that he doesn't have stripes on his back - just salt 'n pepper. Tiny feet.


Jasper on my bed. Glorious whiskers. Yeah, he's getting fat. I'm surprised to see some faint striping on his back. Must be the flash brings it out.



Miss Thunderfoot, grooming.


Miss Thunderfoot. Her irises are unusual. Sometimes they're white, as in this photo, sometimes pale blue, pale green, or light yellow, depending on her mood and the ambient light. They always have the brown spots near the bottom. Note the long ear hairs - they get longer in the winter, and almost meet curled around the back of her head.


And that's my housemates.
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2095 Patriotism

Sunday, November 2, 2008

On CBS' "Sunday Morning" today there was a discussion of patriotism, what it is, how it is defined. A poll showed that more Republicans than Democrats consider wearing a lapel flag pin, or saying the pledge of allegiance, to be patriotic, that one who does these things is by definition a patriot.

The focus of the segment was a man who defined patriotism as doing things to make the US a better place. It's not wearing a symbol, or saluting a flag, it's what you do.

There seems to be an attitude among conservatives that one has to support the government, right or wrong, to demonstrate patriotism. So Vietnam war protesters back when, and Iraq war protesters now (who are mostly quiet because of fear of retribution) are, by their definition, unpatriotic.

I am reminded of an incident in 1967. I was teaching math in a high school in Hanover, Pa., substituting for a teacher who'd died mid-year. A very bright girl, a senior with straight As, had declared in a speech given at a school assembly that she considered herself first and foremost a citizen of the world, and secondly an American. That the only way to achieve world peace is for everyone to realize that they are first and foremost citizens of the world, that we should all work for the health and happiness of all our fellow world citizens, and that blind insular local patriotism is detrimental to world peace.

She said that she knew everyone would forget her words as soon as the assembly was over, so in order to remind them, for the remainder of the school year she would not rise for and would not speak the pledge of allegiance with everyone else, not as an expression of disdain, but as a reminder that there is a higher call.

A few weeks later, the faculty voted her unanimously into the national honor society.**

The principal freaked. He called an after-school compulsory faculty meeting and ordered the teachers to vote her out. He pointed out that grades alone did not an honor student make, that citizenship and service to the school and community counted just as much, and he did not consider her a good citizen or an example for others to follow.

The teachers refused to change their votes.

That stupid principal called a one to two hour meeting after school every day! for something like a month and a half, during which we were not allowed to check homework, prepare lesson plans, grade papers, or anything else that teachers do every evening. We had to just sit there (children waiting at home be damned), and every half hour or so he'd ask if we were ready to change our vote.

You know, I don't remember the outcome, whether he finally prevailed or the teachers stood firm. But that was 1967, and back then, unlike today, people were ready to sacrifice for what they felt was morally right. What I vividly remember is that toward the end of the siege, the principal offered me the position full time for the next school year, and my response to him was, "Work for you? You have GOT to be kidding!"

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**This was back in the days when honor societies meant something. I don't think it means much any more. There are local schools with 900 students, and when the newspaper prints the honors lists, 700 of them are on it. That "everybody gets a prize" mentality. I don't know what's wrong with the other 200. Maybe they're all in jail.
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Saturday, November 01, 2008

2094 Shopping and Selling

Saturday, November 1, 2008

In the words of Becs, "If it's not in my house already, I probably don't need it."

Yeah. I've got everything I really need (except reliable air conditioning), and I've got too many of some things, like clothing, shoes, jewelry, and books. There are over six thousand books here. My biggest clue that maybe I have a problem was that solid perfume compact of the other day - it's 34 years old!

I save things. The house is so full I literally can't find anything any more. Daughter and The Man were both frustrated by my birthday - I have everything, and want very little. Daughter is giving me what I asked for, a foot and hand massage. The Man gave me time, the most precious thing he can bestow, and the trip to warmth, and a CD of him singing. (I love his voice. I wish I knew how to share it here.)

I've got to get rid of stuff. I've donated loads of overflow to the Salvation Army and the local historical society resale store over the past few years, but there are some things that, well, frankly, I want a tangible return for. Not so much for the money, but for the feeling that if someone BUYS it, they'll give it the respect it deserves. Time to turn to eBay for help.

Why haven't I been selling on eBay before now? Because I couldn't make good pictures. It wasn't until yesterday that I fully realized that was the sole holdup.

I've had a digital camera for two years now, and I never used it because it was too complicated. There was no "quick start" with it, the book was, no kidding, 70 dense pages with no index, and all the buttons were multi-purpose and badly labeled.

So last night I went to Office Max, and bought a tiny purple Nikon "Coolpix" S210 8.0 Megapixel self-focusing zoom blah blah camera with a 4 Gig card, a soft case, and Quick Start directions! In real English! With illustrations! And intuitive buttons! Two hours later (after battery charge) I was taking (and deleting) pictures. I have to install the software next.

I tried last night to get a picture of Jasper, but there's a delay on the button, and I'd frame his face, but he was curious about the camera and he'd move and the photo turned out to be his rump - every time.

Next I have to figure out how to get started selling on eBay, upgrade my PayPal account, and figure out where to store the photos for the listings. Also find out what shipping costs are. I'd like to fold the shipping cost into the minimum bid, and offer "free shipping". That draws more bidders. Given the apparent IQ level of some of the sellers I've dealt with as a buyer, I ought to be able to handle it - eventually.

I'm on the move now.

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Just got off the phone with Daughter. She wondered why I'd choose to sell books on eBay when there are so many used book stores that will buy them, and so many places they can be donated. Well, the used book stores around here are full, they mostly don't want more "ordinary" books, and their payment is usually credit, and the one thing I don't need right now is more books.

As for donating, I am sad when I see books sitting on a shelf in those places, gathering dust, unwanted. If I sell them for a nominal amount (even as little as the shipping cost), at least I know the buyer wanted them, and they're going to a good home.
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2093 Step Down, Judge Judy

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Ten years or more ago I admired Judge Judy Sheindlin. She showed a lot of common sense.

Lately it looks like too many people have complimented her on her common sense, and she's now going overboard, and thoroughly pissing me off.

It started getting really bad perhaps five years ago. She'd hear about something that happened, and she'd say she didn't believe it happened that way, because it didn't "make sense", so the person must be lying. Several times that pronouncement lifted me right out of my chair, because the exact same thing had happened to me! How can she say I'd be lying if I told her about it? It can so happen!

I'm getting sick of hearing her shout, "That doesn't make sense!" in that nasty tone she has.

Just because something doesn't make sense doesn't mean it didn't happen. Lots of things don't make sense, but people act that way anyway. Some people are just plain nuts. That doesn't make the recipient of those senseless actions a liar.

I stopped watching her show.

She has recently turned up again on the station that's on by default in my day's background. Some bits break through my filters, and Judge Judy is off her rocker.

Yesterday a young woman plaintiff testified that her books, needed for a college final, were in her car, which had been taken by her aunt two days before the final exam. The aunt had permission to take the car, but a) she took the car unexpectedly several hours before the agreed-upon time, and b) the aunt did not return the car the same day, as agreed, in fact she never returned the car.

Judge Judy decided the plaintiff was lying, because a college student studying for finals would have the books with her at all times (huh?), therefore they were not left in the car, therefore she was lying about that, therefore she was lying about everything. She completely ignored the part about the aunt taking the car sooner than expected, before the girl had an opportunity to retrieve the books.

It sounds like Judge Judy has decided that everybody does everything exactly the way she'd do it, and if they claim otherwise, they're lying.

Time to hang up the robes, lady. You've got hardening of the brain.
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Friday, October 31, 2008

2092 Anonymous Visitor

Friday, October 31, 2008

I had a visitor today, at 5:58 pm my time, who came in through FreeProxyServer.ca, a server that allows one to access sites normally blocked (by a school or library or company computer) or to visit a site anonymously. They came directly to this site, so they knew where they were headed.

That bothers me.

I've already moved this blog once because people who know me in real life were visiting, not letting me know that they were here, and discussing with others what I had to say. Please don't make me do it again.

To that visitor:
- If you're using FreeProxyServer to get around blocks installed by the owner of the computer you're using, you shouldn't be doing that. Please don't make me complicit in your dishonesty.
- If you are trying to keep your identity or location from me, that really bugs me. Leave a comment with some clue as to who you are. Otherwise, if I keep seeing you here without some explanation as to why you're being so sneaky, I might have to move again.
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2091 Chin Hair and the Vermont Catalog

Friday, October 31, 2008

The Vermont Country Store catalog arrived yesterday. They arrive regularly, but I haven't been looking at them. I opened it yesterday looking for Welsh cookies, I get a hunger for them about this time of year, and I ended up with several dog-eared pages, and no cookies.

It's funny how the contents meshed with recent desires.

My chin hairs are driving me crazy. I tweeze and tweeze, and the next day I feel more stiff stubble that I missed. It's difficult to get them all, because I can't SEE the dang things, can't see close enough to grab them. Waxing doesn't work because the hairs have to be too long. Shaving doesn't work because they're back the next day. The other day I was thinking about the Epilady I had tried on my legs and discarded (pain!) in the '80s and wished I had it back. Guess what I found in the catalog? This! Major dog-ear.

With all the traveling and overnighters I've been doing lately, I've been wanting a solid perfume, but haven't been able to find one I really like. On Wednesday I was going through a box of old cosmetics, and I found a Coty compact from the mid-70s, containing Sweet Earth Woods Fragrances (sandalwood, amberwood, and patchouli). I was rather passionate about the sandalwood and amberwood, and wore them with a touch of the patchouli, until the day toddler Daughter discovered it, smuggled it into her room, and dug out ALL the perfume, smearing it all over every inch of herself, her bed, and everything else she could reach during a "nap" one day. She wanted her nap time to smell like Mommy.

Coty had stopped making it. I couldn't replace it.

The old compact still has bits deep around the edges of the trays, and it still smells wonderful. Still soft and creamy.

And then I found this! It's MINE! MINE! All MINE!

Yesterday, searching for my cousin, I was thinking of the few college friends I had located online. The scents of those days, the early to mid-60's, were Tweed and Woodhue. Everybody wore one or the other. I loved both, but neither have been available for decades. Then I found this! And this!

My grandmother always wore Avon's To a Wild Rose, and I'm considering it. Minor dog-ear.

The only scent I'm missing now is Yardley's O! de London, which was my favorite after the Sweet Earth Woods. It was a lot lighter than the other scents, very Carnaby Street kicky. Maybe if I write to Vermont Country Store, they'll find it for me. It is available here at a gold-plated price for 3.3 oz, and here at a completely ridiculous price for .5 oz. I'm thinking about the first one.

Still no Welsh cookies, but the almond buttercrunch is looking good....
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2090 Happy Halloween


[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJypZRitcY0]

Thursday, October 30, 2008

2089 Looking for the cousin...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I spent a lot of time today searching online for my cousin, Dean Morris. I have very little information. I haven't seen him since about 1963.

He's a swimmer. He was supposed to be on the US Olympic swim team (or so my mother told the story) back when Mark Spitz won all those gold medals at the 1972 Summer Olympics in Munich (West Germany). Spitz wasn't going to go at first for some reason, my mother said funding, but that doesn't sound reasonable given that he was already pretty darn famous. When Spitz decided at the last minute to go, and they were all packed for the plane, cousin Dean was bumped from the team. He was devastated. At least, that's the way my mother tells it.

Anyway, I do know Dean was a serious swimmer. I don't know where he went to college, or what career he pursued, but it's pretty reasonable to assume he still swims. He's tall and dark - looked a lot like Joe Namath when both of them were young. He was born probably in 1946 or so, in Buffalo or Tonawanda, NY, to Betty and Richard Morris. I don't know his middle name, but I seem to have the initial "R" stuck in my head.

He has a sister, Linda Joy Morris, born in late 1943 or early 1944. I'd like to find her, too, but with women it's not enough to know who they were - you have to know who they married, who they "belong to" now. (Damn those stupid patriarchal customs that define women not as themselves, but by who their male owner is.... )

Anyway, there are a few thousand "Dean Morris" internet hits. You'd think "Linda Joy" would be rather rare, but there are several of them, too. I thought I had located a reference to her in Long Island, but it happened to mention that her mother had died in the mid-80s, of Alzheimer's, and I believe aunt Betty was still alive in the early '90s, so it's probably not her.

Aunt Betty may be still living in the Tonawanda area, but Uncle Dick died a long time ago, and she remarried, and I don't know who her current male owner might be.

Frustrating business.

-----------------------------------

Today is the seventh anniversary of Jay's departure. In my belief system, now is the time that I must emotionally release him. It won't be easy. Especially since he had promised to wait seven years for me before he moved on.

Sigh. It's time. I feel it.
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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

2088 Miss Thunderfoot Loves Silk

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I've bought a bunch more silk saris over the past few weeks. On eBay. You can get some real deals there. I usually pay about $20-$22 each, including shipping. The saris are 40-some inches wide, and 5 to 7 yards long, and that's a lot of good silk, especially for that price.

When they arrive, I sit down at the computer and unfold them, open them out to examine them, for the feedback to the seller, then refold them to put away.

A package of saris arrived from India today. Saris from this particular seller are always especially soft and beautiful and in excellent condition, except that they always arrive with a strong mildew odor. They are not themselves mildewed - they just smell of mildew. Bad storage during the rainy season, I guess. It washes out (cold water!), so it doesn't bother me.

Normally.

When I get a mildewy batch I don't refold them. I just drop them in a pile on the floor to take to the laundry basket.

One of today's batch is very beautiful, an intense rose-purple with a multicolored finely woven floral edging and pallu. It's so light it floats. It was described as 50 years old, so I guess that's why no one else bid on it. I got it for $8.00 + $5.00 S&H, and it looks brand new. It was the first one I opened out, so it was the first onto the floor.

Miss Thunderfoot, who usually sleeps on a leather laptop case stored on a shelf near my elbow, took one look at it, dropped from her perch, curled up on it, and started a rare purr. As I opened up the other saris, I dropped them on top of her, and she purred louder.

By the time I'd opened up six saris, the mildew odor (probably spores) was getting to my sinuses, so I tried to gather up the saris to take them to the laundry basket, and hit a snag, literally.

She let me take the other saris, but Miss Thunderfoot unsheathed all her claws (with double front paws she's got more claws than normal cats), latched on to the purple sari, and refused to let go. She made it clear that she'd shred it before she'd let me take it. I tried to trade a lesser sari, but she wouldn't go for it. She's been on it since about 4 pm, and it's after 11 now. My sinuses are raging.

At least she's got good taste. And no sense of smell.

---------------------------------

I have several very nice light jackets and I'm getting annoyed that I never get to wear them. Around here, we go directly from short sleeves to parkas in the fall, and directly from parkas to short sleeves in the spring. A fast transition. It's always either too warm or too cold for my light jackets.
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2087 Analysis of The Joke

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Man made up a joke:

A white man, a black man, and a Catholic guy go into a bar.
One of the men turns to the others and says,
.
.
.
.
. (Pause....)
.
.
.
.
.
"Hey, we left Sarah in the car!"

When he told it to me, I blinked twice, and then cracked up, which surprised and pleased him enormously. He said he'd told it to ten people at work the day before, and no one thought it was funny. A joke's not funny when you have to explain it. They didn't "get it".

I did, and that's why he loves me.

-------------------------------------

The Man and I didn't get into it then, but the question of what makes something funny was one of Jay's favorite topics.

Jay maintained that it was "disconnect". You'd laugh when you were expecting one thing, and got something entirely different. I agreed with Jay that disconnect was funny, but it wasn't all of it. I don't know. Maybe in the end, it does all come down to disconnect. I guess even shock, relief, and embarrassment, all elements in some types of humor, are, in the end, disconnect.

The Man's joke has disconnect on several levels:
  1. When a joke starts out with a disparate group going into a bar, there's a certain pattern to the joke. It's a standard type. This one breaks that pattern, forcing you to back up and look at it differently. Disconnect.
  2. Your mind says, "Sarah?", which requires that you think about the three men, and how a Sarah fits in. When you realize who they are, this is a second disconnect from the format. Usually it's three anonymous types.
  3. The recognition that they are in a bar together is disconnect.
  4. And the thought that they may have left her in the car on purpose is another disconnect, and perhaps the best part.
Perhaps no one else found it funny because it had too many disconnects? Perhaps it was too much work, so that by the time they got it, they were annoyed?

Opinions, anyone?
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Monday, October 27, 2008

2086 I'm Back, and Hate Winter More Than Ever!

Monday, October 27, 2008

I've been away. Drove to New Jersey on Thursday, met The Man, we flew south Friday morning to palm trees and myrtles, waves and sculpture gardens, and returned this morning.

He needed a spot of relaxation after a rough month, and it was my birthday, so we went. He showed me where he lived and played and hung out in the '90s. The trip was relaxing and often romantic.

He dropped me off at my car at about noon today and went to his office. I smiled all the way home.

(Oh, and my back was no trouble at all. There was a Jacuzzi in the room, which helped to keep it that way.)
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2085 Why Women Hang TP Backward

Monday, October 27, 2008

Men complain when women "hang the toilet paper backward". Well, there's a reason. It's usually women who have to deal with and clean up after kittens, puppies, and toddlers.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpI5bkZbHJk]
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Thursday, October 23, 2008

2084 Brace

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I am now wearing the back brace. It has a hard trapezoidal panel in the back, heavy elastic that wraps around and closes with Velcro over the lower tummy, and then two "pull it tighter" elastic straps on each side.

It creates an extreme "muffin top" midway up my ribs.

I hope I don't need it tomorrow or the weekend, but I guess I'd best assume I will. That limits my choices in clothing for the trip. Muumuus? Caftans? Shifts? Blah. Not exactly sexy. He likes long skirts, but there's a limit. Good thing I have several kurtas. Looks like it's going to be kurtas and slacks for the weekend.

Mother is not happy.

Later - If you go to the "kurta" link above, notice the hands on the manikin. Seems like a poor design. It might make it hard to get tight sleeves or lacy knits on it. Last time I saw hands like that on something you have to dress was when Daughter was one year old and objected to wearing clothing.
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

2083 Ouchy Back

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I took those six loads of laundry to the laundromat yesterday. Piper is always surprised that I have a washer and dryer, but use the laundromat. It's because I can do all loads concurrently instead of consecutively, which saves time, and secondly because my hard water has messed up the washer valves, so you have to keep an eye on it constantly, or it will overfill and flood the laundry room and kitchen.

Anyway, taking one of the heavy bags out of the car last night, I got a sharp stab at the top of my left hip, so sharp I yelped. It lasted only an instant, but it was a warning.

I can walk for miles, and I can stand for hours, but I can't stand with my arms held out in front of me. It unbalances me, and, added to the boobage weight, stresses my lower back. So last night I spent a long time standing at washers, dryers, and a folding table, with my arms in front of me, and then followed that by unloading the car at home, then reloading it with recycle containers.

This morning I had to dump the (6) containers into the recycle bin, the opening of which is over my head.

Today my lower back is yelling at me, and I'm yelping back. It's causing powerful abdominal/intestinal cramps. I'm running on aspirin today. I'm still working my way through the to-do list, but I think I'll skip the movie tonight.

It's got to feel better soon. I'll never last on an airplane with it like this, even is it is only a 90 minute flight. That'll wipe me out completely.
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

2082 Busy

Tuesday, October 22, 2008

I've actually been doing my to-do list! Between yesterday and today, I've:
- sniped five eBay auctions, won all
- paid two months worth of bills
- cleared two feet of paper off the ironing board in the kitchen (flat surfaces collect paper)
- cleaned two litter boxes
- hit the big grocery store down the road
- got the Hairless Hunk to straighten my mailbox (again), which had been hit (again) and twisted 90 degrees to the road (again)
- watched three TV shows on TV, and two news programs on the computer
- did six loads of laundry, folded, ironed, put away
- my favorite clothing store sent me a nice gift coupon for my birthday, and their online store was having a 25% off everything sale, so I hit their "outlet" clearance section and bought a blouse (reg $75) and a skirt (reg. $120) for a total of $9
- looked up the weekend's flight to check where we were sitting - we got exit row! Both ways!
- discussed with The Man what we might do over the weekend, I was very surprised to learn that he wants to visit a botanical garden, I'd never have guessed. He hates walking, and outdoors
- packed up two month's worth of metal, plastic, and glass for recycle, and loaded it all into the car.

Early to bed tonight. I need to get to the recycle center by 9 am tomorrow, in order to be home to snipe another eBay auction at 10:30, then meet Piper for lunch. Afternoon - wash hair, do nails, visit bank, get mail held, decide what to pack for weekend. Evening - go to Rosendale to see movie "W". That last one's a maybe. Depends on what I get done and how I feel.

This is more than I've accomplished in a whole average week lately. Maybe even two or three weeks. I've been very lazy. It feels good to check things off the list.
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2081 Eyeball

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

This is a game where you test your skill at geometric estimation. I got a score of 4.03, which is about average. I'm best at convergence, parallelograms, and right angles, and worst at locating the center of a triangle, circle, or line segment.

I didn't notice it at first, but your scores on the three passes are kept on the right, so you can see how well you're doing. I got better on each pass, so I guess with practice, I would improve.
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Monday, October 20, 2008

2080 SNL is unprofessional

Monday, October 20, 2008

I watched Saturday Night Live last weekend, for the first time in ages, and rediscovered why I don't watch it.

Nobody bothers to learn their lines.

Soap opera people are on every day - they've got seven shows worth of script to learn every week, week after week, and they do it. The SNL folks can't be bothered to learn lines for a 3-minute skit. They read the words off cue cards or a teleprompter. More than half the time it looks like they've never seen those lines before, they're reading it for the first time, and aren't sure where it's going.

It's ugly, because they don't look at the person they're talking to. Not even close.

At the very least, you'd think they could put the cheat sheet close to, over the shoulder of, the other character, so they'd at least be looking in the other character's direction when they're supposed to be talking to them. There's no reason why camera angles couldn't be planned to accommodate that.

Nah. It's like 30 degrees or more off, so they're not even facing them.

I think this shows a huge lack of consideration for the audience, and a lack of pride in the product.
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2079 Bloglines is fixed.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Well, I'm going to take credit for the fix to Bloglines. Within hours of my email to them, the backlog of missing posts from a small herd of blogs started pouring in. The timing is interesting.

I had mentioned to them that the problem first started right after they had moved a data base. I'll bet someone at Bloglines read my email, smacked themselves in the head, and said "Oops! Forgot to update the whatchamadoodle pointer!"
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Sunday, October 19, 2008

2078 Clutter on YouTube!

There are now over 80, almost 90, mostly identical clips of the Colin Powell interview on YouTube. It has grown from zero in only 14 hours. I'm sure there will be more, uploaded by people who think no one has seen it yet.

Clutter! They're going to kill YouTube with overload!

Is it really so difficult to check to see if there's already a copy of something before storing another? Is it an ego thing, to see one's own id on one's own copy?

(Um, one's "own" copy of copyrighted material. Oops.)
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2077 Powell's Endorsement

Sunday, October 19, 2008

If you missed Meet the Press today, you must watch this clip.



[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_NMZv6Vfh8]

A comment from "gojohnnygo5" on the video:
I love this quote my Deacon told me once:
"We do not have permanent friends nor permanent enemies. We only have permanent principles."

Crossing party lines should not be such a big deal if a person had a set of values because if this person ever felt that his party is no longer representing his principles, it would be the only viable decision for anyone of strong character.

2076 Bits

Sunday, October 19, 2009

Daughter is 34 today. Next week, I will be 65. I have no grandchildren. I'm getting anxious.

---------------

I registered on Classmates.com a long time ago, hoping to find old classmates. I've been contacted by two college classmates, one high school classmate, and one old coworker (all male), so it hasn't been a complete bust. I have also been left contact info for another 150+ people, also all male. A few of them went to the same school I listed, but several years before or after me, so I never knew them. The vast majority are complete strangers. I don't know why they've signed my guestbook. A few of them return over and over.

Is it possible they think it's an online dating site?

-------------------------

More and more blogs from my Bloglines list are missing feed alerts, even some big ones like the Dilbert blog. Bloglines' trouble reports didn't list the problem. Either it's unique to me, or no one else has noticed. Yesterday I finally sent an email to Bloglines, telling them what I'm seeing, or more accurately not seeing. Today suddenly some, but not all, of the posts are showing up again. It looks like they've fixed something.

Very strange. Am I the only person who pointed it out to them? I can't believe that.

-------------------------

I like to read real estate magazines (those local listings you pick up at the grocery store) and online listings, especially those with interior photos or virtual tours. I'm seeing a lot of kitchens with the stove kind of stuck awkwardly in the middle of an open wall, all alone, away from any counters. It's not like the new stove was too big - there's no space in the rest of the kitchen where an old stove would have been.

That confuses me. It looks like when the kitchen was designed, they forgot there'd be a stove.

--------------------------

I have a gray sweatshirt with the smooth on the inside and the fuzz on the outside. It's meant to look inside-out. You can tell by the seams and the care label. It even applies to the writing on the chest - it's crossed hockey sticks with "Hockey" above, and "EST. 1898" on either side of the sticks - a faint impression in the fuzz, exactly as it would be if the real printing were on the other side (but there's nothing on the other side, the inside - it's a fake).

I don't wear it often beyond my house and the village, but the few times I've worn it, a few people have laughed and asked why I'm wearing it inside-out, tee hee.

The part that blows my mind is that in every case, it was a Mensan who felt moved to point out my error. (Like I needed to be told.)

And in every one of those cases, it blew my mind further that those Mensans didn't notice until I pointed it out that the writing on the chest is not mirror-image! Which it would be if it were the "inside", or backward, image.

Sigh.

Oh, while we're on Mensa, Roman did exactly what I was afraid he'd do, and dropped out of the running for the governing board as soon as he found out that there were five other candidates. So, no election again. The five remaining candidates are declared elected. I'm pissed. Especially because one of the other candidates is an idiot (an idiot who wants to be the treasurer).
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2075 Thud - Monroe is in Michigan, you fool!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

This week's PostSecrets is headed by an envelope with the PostSecrets address, sent from somewhere in south Florida. The address is given as "Germantown, Marilyn".
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