742 Talk With Piper

I talked with Piper for over two hours today. I needed to talk with someone, and he was a good choice. He has an incredible grasp of people, and from him I could get a male point of view.

He helped me to feel better. He almost convinced me that whatever happens, it will be the best for me.

Almost. I'm still trembling.

741 Friday, Tired

I am very tired today. I did 45 minutes on the treadmill, but that's not why - mostly it's the emotional treadmill I've been on. My body feels like there's a vibrator in my chest, my hands tremble. I've been losing weight slowly, about 5 pounds a month, and I seemed to be at a plateau recently, but since last Saturday I've lost five fast ones. I think all the trembling has been burning up calories. That plus the fact that I don't feel like eating (But don't worry, I do. Just what I've forced myself to eat this week has been all "good stuff". No yummies.)

I'll go into why someday, probably, but not yet. There's a "situation" going on, and I don't want to mention it until it seems resolved. It's nothing terrible in the great scheme of things, nothing to worry about. Daughter might even be happy about it. Damn her.

It's now 7:30 pm-ish, and I think I might go to bed.

Tomorrow I'll have "coffee" (tea for me) with Piper (mostly a social meeting), and in the evening I plan to go to a dance show in New Paltz (I'll see the Gypsy there, and possibly the Pixie, I hope). Sunday I might go to the Clearwater Festival (http://www.clearwater.org/festival.html). Maybe. If I think it's worth the effort.

Blah.

740 Highway Sign

Post #739 has been skipped. I spent much time composing the post this afternoon, then I went to the Third Thursday dinner, and sat next to Roman. We talked after dinner, and much has happened. Shit has hit fans. Blogger doesn't have a facility to make posts private, so it will have to live as a draft for now, until I know where this is going.

In the meantime, folks on AOL and especially those who left AOL will appreciate this:

738 Left Hip

Thursday, 06/15/06

Ignore. This is just a note to myself, so if a doctor asks "When did it start?" I can look it up and answer.

Left hip has been waking me early since Monday morning. No pain during the day, no pain sitting, standing, walking, or when I first lie down, but enough pain in the morning to wake me. This is the hip that was dislocated throughout my twenties. (Oddly, it's also the one that gets scanned during bone density tests, and no one ever mentioned any signs of arthritis.)

737 Wednesday, 06/14/06

Next week's TV Guide arrived today, and Daniel Dae Kim of "Lost" is on the cover. He finally made their "sexiest men" list. Back when I was watching "Lost", I was annoyed that the rags raved about the other guys on that show, but not Kim. I have always thought he was the sexiest. ('Cept he has a major flaw - he's not furry.)

Today:

• Feeling better in the body. Only major pain left is a knot in my back below the shoulder blades - next to where I had the ruptured disk. Probably from slumping the past few days. I really HAVE to sit and stand straight or my back attacks me!
• A new concern, however, the base of the index and middle toes on my right foot are numb. Noticed it this morning in the shower. Probably a pinched nerve.
• Went to grocery store for water, bought $85 worth of stuff, but forgot the water.
• Did 1/2 hour on the treadmill (1.4 miles - yeah, that's slow, but I'm not after aerobics. For burning calories, distance, not speed, matters), stopped because I didn't want to stress the questionable foot.
• Went to my favorite clothing store for a "private" 50% off sale. I really don't want to buy more clothes, but I'm running out of pants because what I had been wearing are size large or medium, and I'm into size small now. The mediums look baggy, and the large won't even stay up any more. Naturally, nothing that fit me was on sale, but I bought some size small pants anyway.
• Trying on pants from the closet this evening, getting rid of the too big ones, making trash/sell/donate/keep piles. The "sell" pile is the biggest. Would you believe some of the pants in there date from the 70s? And fully half of what I'm throwing away I sewed, as opposed to bought.
• Planning to go to bed early.
  

736 Paris Is Full of Frenchmen for a Reason

Read this: http://herlocksholmes.blogspot.com/2006/06/blogging-from-paris.html, from Herlock Sholmes. Funny, with too much sad truth.

735 Tuesday, 6/13

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Brief memory booster - ignore.

• Tore apart the desk and kitchen, and the file cabinet in the den, frantically searching for the estimated tax forms, due 6/15. They weren't in the folder they were supposed to be in ("To Pay"). I finally found them in the "2006 Taxes" folder (Duh), which at this point is supposed to contain only receipts and check stubs
• Tried on more clothes, packed up some things that are too large
• Ironed bits of yesterday's laundry
• Worked at the Maritime Museum, 4 hours plus travel, locating and scanning paid supporter ads for their yearly money-maker brochure
  
• Read some blogs
• Wanted to do treadmill and machines, but I hurt. I really hurt. It started Sunday, with my knees. Yesterday I felt like I'd done an uphill marathon, and then was badly beaten at the end. You know how your arm hurts after a flu shot? That's what it feels like, mostly all over my thighs and upper arms, and the "belt" of muscle around my waist. They are actually tender. (No, I take no prescription meds, so it's not a drug reaction.) I'm walking all bent over, like an ancient crone. My stomach is queasy. Saturday night I had fallen asleep reading and woke an hour later with a crick in my neck, and a terrible headache. I took aspirin but couldn't get back to sleep, so I got one hour's sleep that night. It's entirely possible that all this pain is from a pinched/confused nerve in my neck. Or maybe fibromyalgia is tied to the emotions?
  
• Worked some crossword puzzles
• Weighed me. I am now at 134, down from 172 last August. Slow loss. Oh, well, gives the skin time to shrink. Don't want a saggy baggy look. Current goal is 120. If I ever get there, I might drop it to 115, depending on what I look like. Don't want to get stringy.

734 Monday, 6/12

Monday, June 12, 2006

Brief memory booster - ignore.

• Paid bills
• Washed dishes
• Read a bunch of blogs
  
• Laundry, 6 loads - washer is now making a funny whooshing noise when it spins, and dryer takes forever to dry stuff. I wonder if there's a bird nest in the exhaust tube again
• Bank run, deposit checks, get cash
• $53 worth of gas in van
• Grocery store for water
• Undertook major search for Dannon coffee yogurt - sold out everywhere
• Mailed bills and some stuff to daughter
  

That's all I can remember

733 Mystery at the Mall

[Later edit - by "the Kingston mall" I mean the big mall near Kingston, i.e., the Hudson Valley Mall, not the "Kingston Mall". I forgot there's actually a strip mall with that name on the other side of town.]

There was a murder at the Kingston mall about a week ago. A woman was killed in the kitchen of a restaurant, where she was working alone. Or something. I'm not up on the details. Murderer still at large, but the police say they have leads.

Saturday night I passed the mall on my way home, a little before midnight. There were police cars with flashing lights all alone the street, and more patrol cars blocking all the entrances and exits. They were not allowing cars in, and were stopping cars coming out, looking inside them with flashlights. (I didn't think Ulster had that many police cars!) The mall closed at about 9 pm, I think, so the cars must have been coming out from the last show at the theater.

I'm curious. I knew there would be nothing in the Sunday paper, so I was waiting for today's paper to find out what was going on.

No mention. Nothing. Anybody else know anything?

732 Moonlight Madness

I went to NJKC's Moonlight Madness last night. May was there. Festivities were supposed to start at 7:30 pm. May arrived at 7:30 am. She got am and pm mixed up. As expected, everyone made fun of her when she wasn't in the room.

When it got late, I was concerned about her driving home. She has no night vision, and she'd been drinking champagne all evening. As expected, everyone else was totally unconcerned. "Well, if she's all over the road, the cops will stop her. Besides, she won't accept help."

I was emotionally drained from a discussion on a different topic earlier in the evening, and wanted to leave early, but I stayed another two hours until May was ready to go, and then I followed her home, and peeled off when she got to her street.

I went to a computer show with Roman early this afternoon, and we talked. Really talked. For once he was completely honest with me. I am doubly emotionally drained now.

I'm going to take a hiatus from journaling for a while. Or maybe I'll just post the briefest list of "this is what I did today", for reminder purposes. I have a lot of work to do and a few things to think about, and, like May, I "won't accept help".

The kimono has closed.