2113 More Blah

Friday, November 14, 2008

I'm debating whether to go to an event this evening. I'd like to go, but I guess I need to figure out how much I want to go. The biggest problem is that I can't decide on the criteria for the decision. I feel like I'm just dangling here. If I dangle long enough, time will make the decision for me.

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I had mentioned a very unsettled feeling Tuesday night, that disturbed my sleep. I think I figured it out. It was foreboding.

There are three people locally that I don't get along with, no matter how hard I try. From my viewpoint, each of them seems to take everything I say or do the wrong, most negative, most insulting, way. A few people have said that these people seem to be afraid of me or something. Like they think I judge them constantly and find them wanting, and they're looking for proof of this in every contact.

They hear what they want to hear, not what I say.

I don't understand.

Anyway, one of these people was at the dinner Tuesday evening, let's call that person B1 (for "Bane-of-my-life 1"), and in the course of talking about a particular topic B1 mentioned that B2 had done something that B1 thought was very nice. I commented that yes, it needed doing, and it's nice that B2 is willing to step in when things need doing, but that B2 should not have done it, that because of B2's position in the group the rules bar B2's participation in that process, that B2's having done it could invalidate the local group elections if anyone chose to oppose them.

I realize now that the foreboding started at that instant.

Sure enough, Thursday morning there's a fiery email, two of them actually, from B2, saying that I may have a legitimate gripe, but it's not with B2, and blah blah blah explanations and defenses. B2 is freaking apoplectic. All B2's reasons and explanations don't change the fact that B2 shouldn't have done what B2 did, and B2 knows that! I don't know how to respond to B2, or even whether I should.

I suspect that what B2 heard was delivered in words and tones other than the ones I actually used. To be true to myself, perhaps I should respond by clarifying exactly what I said. If B2 still objects to that, well, so be it.

It's not finished. I have a feeling I'll hear from B3, as soon as the (distorted further) report gets circulated. Because, horror of all horrors, B3 did the same prohibited thing. And as soon as B2 and B3 tell the person who SHOULD have done the thing but didn't, necessitating their doing it, I'll probably acquire a B4.

I just gotta learn to keep my mouth shut. Or find a more adult bunch of people to associate with.
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