Saturday, October 12, 2013

3777 Hacks

Saturday, October 12, 2013

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
--Sir Winston Churchill--


Some of these "life hacks" are new to me, but very useful.  Others are old, but I had forgotten them.  Check them out:

3776 More amusement

Saturday, October 12, 2013

I have a theory that you can make any sentence seem profound
by writing the name of a dead philosopher at the end of it.


Daughter told two-and-a half year old Nugget that they were going to the playground.
Nugget asked if she could take her little pull toy dog along.
Daughter said yes.
Then Daughter heard Nugget telling the doggie what was going to happen.
It went something like this:

First we have to go piddle.
Then we put our socks and shoes on.
Then we go get in the car.
Then we drive to the playground.
Then we go on the swings and the slides and the climby things.
Then we get in the car and drive home.
Then we put the bandaids on.

3775 I am amused

Saturday, October 12, 2013

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.


So, truckers are slowing down traffic on the Washington beltway this weekend, starting yesterday, to protest - something - I'm not clear on what, but that's ok because I'm not sure they are, either.  The slowdown doesn't bother me, except that I wonder about the wisdom of pissing off people who might otherwise support you in your protest.

Anyway, I cracked up when I read that the truckers themselves were slowed down by the beltway's normal congestion.  They got caught in a traffic jam!



There weren't as many trucks on the belt yesterday as expected, kind of disappointing. 

I'm not surprised because I wondered where those trucks would come from.  Trucking companies are unlikely to approve of their drivers wasting fuel and rubber going 'round and 'round in circles in a symbolic exercise, and independent truckers are unlikely to be able to afford it (if their gas-price protests are to be believed).

Yesterday only "a few dozen" showed up.  That belt is long.  A few dozen trucks is normal.  Friday was a normal workday, so most trucks were elsewhere, busy hauling.  I'll be interested to see how it goes today.


I lived in that area in the late '70s.  I drove on the beltway a lot, and it was never clogged, unless there was an accident  In fact, I was often dismayed at how fast people were driving.  It frightened me.

I hear that these days the beltway is essentially a parking lot.

I wonder how people, commuters, cope with that, because there really isn't any other way to get anywhere.  Yeah, you can drive through the residential areas inside the belt, and through the city, but there are traffic lights or stop signs every three feet (feels that way, anyway), so that's not practical.  I've been hearing from old acquaintances that a 20 mile commute can turn into a 2 hour drive.

An obvious solution would be to stagger office start times, so everyone isn't on the road at the same time, but nobody wants to cooperate with that because everybody has to interface with everyone else.  I guess work-at-home/telecommute is an option, but that turns into either watch TV all day, or work 24 hours a day.

There is a subway system, they were just opening that back when I lived there, but as usual in the US there is insufficient parking at the stations, and a lack of bus transport from residential areas to the stations.  Whoever set it up seemed to assume that every worker had a spouse who could drive them to the station.

Now if this were Europe....

Friday, October 11, 2013

3774 Wrenches and plans and all that

Friday, October 11, 2013

"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it." 
--G. K. Chesterton--


My back was out or in some stage of delicate for a month.  By the end of last week it felt pretty good, so I figured I'd make it up to the country house this week.

Not to be.

Last Friday, the Nugget was miserable and snobbery.  By Sunday evening I was sneezing, and by Monday I was miserable and snobbery.  'Long about Tuesday evening the miseries started to descend into my chest.  Last night, Thursday, at about 9 pm, a good six hours since I'd taken some (every four hours) Robitussin, I felt really good and thought "Wow, it's over!".  By 11 pm I was crawling to the cabinet for more Robitussin.


Will I ever again see that house?

Nugget is still suffering.  Although her nose is now dry, her voice sounds like a cartoon witch, so I guess the miseries are in her throat and chest, too.  She still laughs and plays, but at any moment the least tiny thing will send her sobbing into her mommy's lap.  I told Daughter if she aches all over even 1/3 as bad as I do, take pity on her.

At least I have Robitussin.

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

3773 OMG! I am ... SO! ... DENSE!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Where would Christianity be if Jesus got eight to fifteen years with time off for good behavior?
--New York State Senator James Donovan, speaking in support of capital punishment--


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.

I've been hearing that for nigh onto seventy decades,  and  today I discovered I never got it!

I always thought it was one of those "duh" things.  Like, "of course to get to the other side of the road, why does anyone cross the road, if you were expecting any different reason for crossing the road you were overthinking it, duh.  Gotcha."

Note I always mentally added the "of the road".  Which, you will note, is not in the original.  Is never in the original.  Which sort of indicates to me that everyone else in the world got it.  Except me.

It never occurred to me that it was ... a pun?  A double entendre? 

It never occurred to me that a chicken who attempts to cross a road is suicidal, and that "other" and "side" can be capitalized.

I know I tend to be much too literal, but for almost seventy years of chickens?

Am I alone here?  When did you "get it"?

[If you ever tell this joke to small children, for their sakes, please explain it to them.  Don't let them live in ignorance.]