Friday, February 10, 2012

3461 So, um, don't use it

Friday, February 10, 2012

Dilbert’s coworker - "Someday I want to get married because studies show
that married people are happier."
Dilbert's response - "A smarter interpretation
is that no one wants to marry an unhappy person."
-- "Dilbert", 2/10/12 --


The above - so true. Nobody wants to marry an unhappy person (except that guy who married the blogger with the headaches, never did understand that, she's ALWAYS unhappy). Nobody even wants to be around someone who is unhappy all the time. It's a drag and it's draining. People who manage to be happy with their lot are just --- happier. Married or not.


The Catholic Church is all het up because they don't want to pay for employee's insurance coverage that includes coverage for contraception.

Some people are all het up because they say forcing the Catholic Church to pay for contraception coverage is a violation of the first amendment, which provides for the free exercise of religion.

Huh? I don't understand. Just because insurance covers it doesn't FORCE you to use it. My insurance covers prostate exams, but I assure you I'll never use it. So Catholics who refuse birth control will not be forced to use it. They still have free exercise of their religion.

Many employees of the church, and dependents of employees, are not even Catholic. Why should they be forced to practice Catholicism? If anyone's first amendment rights are being abridged, it's theirs. And it's no secret that most Catholics DO use birth control anyway.

I don't understand.

And all those priests and bishops going on TV telling folks that Obama won't get the Catholic vote if he allows any of their employees easy access to birth control even if the church isn't paying for it! should remember that they will lose their tax exemptions if they tell their congregations how to vote. Isn't there also something about "separation" in the tax laws? They are not allowed to influence elections. (Which brings up another topic - how come so many religious groups do get away with both electioneering AND tax exemptions? I thought that was illegal.)

Way to piss me off.

3460 Jasper says "Buy cat food, NOW!"

Friday, February 10, 2012

Ask Jesus about torture.


The TV is predicting a "Major Winter Event!!!" Oh wow! Batten down the hatches! Load up on gasoline and pantry staples!

Um, turns out we're expecting 1 to 3 inches of snow, and a very cold weekend. It might actually get below freezing, at night. Daytime will be in the low to mid 40s.

OMG, we're all going to die!


Norovirus is closing schools and colleges in the area. It's highly contagious and I really really don't want it. I'm blood type O, and the few times I've had it in the past (about 18 hours of Hell) I really didn't care if I died.

If you get it, fill a jug with water, and take it and a straw, and a pillow and a blanket and a soft pad to lie on into the bathroom, and settle down. You have to keep drinking water. Dehydration is the greatest danger. (If you get Noro, you'll know why.) And why do you need the jug if you're in the bathroom, where there are faucets? Because you won't be able to stand up long enough to get to the faucet.

When you feel better, clean all surfaces you touched with bleach - not alcohol - alcohol doesn't kill it - and avoid people for three days after, because you will still be contagious.

And don't come anywhere near me!

3459 Jasper says "Just get her a litter box."

Friday, February 10, 2012

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.
-- Voltaire --


Late last week Daughter pretty much crashed and burned. Nugget is 9.5 months old, and she's still waking multiple times during the night, demanding attention, breast, diaper change, whatever, and she doesn't go back down easily. Daughter is getting no sleep.

Daughter is doing an excellent job with Nugget. She's strong and healthy, interested and curious, social and happy, active and bubbly, and sings and dances constantly. So I've pretty much refrained from interference, offering advice only when it's requested. But all along I've been a bit disturbed at a lack of schedule. She's put down for a nap when she's tired. She's responded to when she wakes during the night. She's taken out on social jaunts when her parents go, regardless of "nap times", but she loves people, so she's "not tired".

I won't go through the whole conversation, but the key was getting Daughter to realize that Nugget is in charge!, and she's not old enough to be making those decisions. So we talked about some changes, like scheduled times for morning and afternoon nap, whether Nugget says she's tired or not. Her internal clock will adjust. The adults will have to work around those times, but at least it's predictable. And a definite bedtime, with a ceremony that says "this is night sleep", and if she stands and screams, just sweep her feet out from under her and lay her down until she gets the idea. Part of the problem is that Nugget seems to think of night time as just a series of 1.5 hour naps. She needs to know that it's different.

A second problem involves diaper changes. Nugget won't lie quietly on her back. She twists and turns and crawls rapidly away. She's willing to stand holding onto a chair for a diaper change, but that doesn't work for poopy diapers. A few weeks ago I told Daughter that I didn't want to change poopy diapers any more when I'm keeping her, because I just can't do it with the kid upside down, or running away, or in whatever twisted position she chooses, and I don't want to fight with her. Nugget is very stubborn. Again, Daughter had to admit that the Nugget is in charge of diaper changes, and that's not acceptable. So when she starts with the twisting, Daughter can't just accept and accommodate it sweetly. She'll have to register disapproval and make it clear exactly what she wants. The kid's going to get nothing but bigger and stronger, so you have to start now.

I agreed to play with Nugget in the morning so Daughter can get a 2-hour nap until things settle down. I warned that it might be a few weeks. Daughter and Hercules discussed it over the weekend, and agreed on the schedules and the ground rules.

It's been amazing! In only four nights, Nugget settled down to one wake-up-briefly-and-back to sleep without attention two hours after being put down, and then a "want a drink" at 4 am, also brief and back to sleep after a few sips. Super overnight diapers helped, too. I changed a poopy diaper yesterday, and the Nugget made one brief attempt to arch her back and roll over and get away, I said "No!", and she immediately stopped and lay quietly.

She's such a good baby. All she needed was to learn what is expected of her.

Yesterday Nugget was pushing a box around the floor, practicing walking. I got my camera out, but when she saw the camera she left the box and came to stand at my knee. The camera case is attached to my camera with a thong. She played with the case, but wanted the camera. "Oo oo oo" means "I like that! Give it to me!" Usually it works. At the very end, 1:54, she gives a mighty jerk on the cord to pull the camera closer. Catch her face after that.

I showed the clip to her on the camera screen three times, and she was fascinated. I think she recognized it as herself, like a mirror, but somehow not! Wow! Magic, Gramma!

Monday, February 06, 2012

3458 Life

Monday, February 6, 2012

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.
-- Maori proverb --


On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

*The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again saw it was good.*

*On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.*

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You asked for it.."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.


(Note: I've had dogs who made it to twenty.)

Sunday, February 05, 2012

3457 NY Sales Tax!!!!!!!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

What is hateful to you do not do to others.
That is the entire law. All the rest is commentary.
-- Rabbi Hillel the Elder (paraphrased) --


Friday I was very proud of myself. I located online and filled out the four-page form for the final tax filing for my NY DBA, indicating that I was killing it, enclosed my original tax authority certificate, and mailed it to Albany. I made 2 copies of the tax forms and the certificate - one for my files and one for my accountant. And I did it all two weeks before required. Yea me!

Yesterday morning I walked along the waterfront with a Meetup group (8 other adults, a child, and a basset hound), and had lunch with a smaller group in a tiny diner in town.

When I got home, I got out some 8.5 x 11 photo paper and made copies of a few hundred photos for Daughter. Actually, I'm giving her the originals, I made the copies for me. It took all afternoon, into evening, to do it all.

The very first set came out oddly. I had arranged six snapshots on the scanner screen, put photo paper in the hopper, and pressed "copy" - and was amazed that the photos came out with ... text ... NYS tax form text ... in the spaces ... between the photos .... Ack!

I had left the last page of the tax form in the copier! That's the page with my signature, and email address, and phone number! I sent off an incomplete form! Ack!

I can't simply make another copy, include the original final page, and send it again, because the certificate went in the original package! If this were a reasonable business, you'd think that would be ok, that they could put together the parts from two different mailings.

But this is NOT a reasonable business. This is the New York State tax machine. It's an impenetrable bureaucracy - so impenetrable that when you call the phone number, you get a tape that tells you to go to the website. Period.

Of course, this situation won't be on the website.

I have no other option but to do just what I can't - to write a cover letter, attach the full tax form and a copy of the certificate, send it by overnight mail so it will arrive about the same time as the other - and hope that with the literally tens of thousands (maybe hundreds of thousands) of forms they'll be receiving, someone will be smart enough to put the two halves together.

(Um, it has been my experience that they don't read explanatory letters. I don't have much hope. And given that there is a hefty fine for being late, and a hefty cost to replace a "lost" cretificate, there's not exactly any incentive for them to make it easy.)

I am crushed.