Saturday, March 11, 2006

#598 Friday Goddess Continued

I walked. It wasn't as warm as promised, but I didn't wear a jacket anyway. Optimism. I may be sorry tomorrow. (Sniffle....)

I forgot to mention a whole bunch of stuff.

The Dark Prince is now sporting a new haircut. His hair had been very long, but I was aware he had recently donated his hair to Locks of Love, so I was looking forward to seeing his new do. He looks absolutely fantastic! It's curly on top and close on the sides, and sexy as all getout. Even the shape of his face is different. If I were The Pixie, I'd fall in love all over again.

Anna, the neighbor whom I was supposed to take to Physical Therapy at an ungodly early hour Tuesday and Thursday of last week, is having some trouble. She wasn't there when I stopped by for her on Tuesday, so I left a note on her door asking her to call me. When she hadn't called by Wednesday evening, I called her. I don't know where she was (the number she gave me must have been a cell phone), but she said her husband had thrown her out, and she was staying at a friend's house. I didn't get any details because she didn't seem to want to talk.

The next day, the Hunk told me that he didn't see how her husband could have thrown her out, since she has a restraining order against him and he isn't allowed anywhere near the house. Apparently, the number of police calls to that address is the talk of the neighborhood. All very strange. I've sat in her kitchen drinking tea, and she, when she talked about her husband, never gave any hint of a problem - like he'd be home from work in a few hours, just like normal. I guess this sort of explains her plan to sell the house and move to wherever her daughter plans to go to college. I couldn't understand that before.

I feel like I should call her again, but on the other hand I don't know her all that well and I am a little bit afraid to get involved. On the third hand, if she has an order against him, he CAN'T throw her out, so maybe she should be urged to call the police. On the fourth hand, she's staying with a friend, and that friend has likely told her that. Round and round. Mainly, I guess, I don't want to get involved in something where I don't know the dangers, and history says she might not tell me. The Hunk implied that the husband is dangerous and violent, with a short fuse. Now I even wonder if her broken wrist was from a fall on the ice, as she'd told me. Maybe I'm proving my Nohari right - I AM aloof.

This isn't gossip, by the way, because you don't know her, there's only one person who might know her who knows this journal even exists (and not even this one, but the previous AOL one), and I don't think he ever reads it. And Anna isn't her real name. I'll even point out, if I have to, that I don't know what the truth is. It's just a story. Something I am thinking about and fussing over right now. I hate to feel like I'm turning my back on her.

#597 Friday Goddess

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Kenneth W. Sollitt: That which one man receives without working for, another man works for without receiving. (No connection to what follows....)


I didn't walk yesterday because although it was near 70 degrees out, there was a stiff wind, and black clouds rolling in. It never did rain, but the threat was too real. So instead, I did three rounds on the machines instead of my usual two, and followed that with 20 crunches.

I went to the Goddess Festival in Woodstock, and met up with The Gypsy, The Pixie, The Dark Prince, and a few other people I hadn't seen in at least two months. They all complimented the weight loss, which was nice. I'm losing so slowly that people who see me more than once a month don't notice. The drummers and dancers were very good - Perizad's group's basket dance is a lot of fun. I hope they always include it.

I had been up since 6:30 with broken sleep the night before, so by 11 pm I was pooped, and I skipped out before the last couple of shows.

It looks good outside - supposed to be in the 70s, so I plan to walk this afternoon. Tonight I want to visit the gallery where The Dark Prince's photographs are on display before the Goddess festivities restart. It's going to be a late night, so I'm glad I got some good sleep last night.

My daffodils are already up a good three inches. Spring is coming.

Friday, March 10, 2006

#596 Whoosh! Gone....

When Love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. - Kahlil Gibran

The Goddess Festival starts tonight in Woodstock, and I want to walk and exercise before I go, so -- here's a quick entry. Don't blink.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

#595 Breaking the Log Jam!

Ok. Progress. I'm getting a 10 yard dumpster delivered next Tuesday, and it will be here for one week (will 10 yards be big enough? I don't care! I'll repeat as many times as it takes!) It's $360 as long as I don't go over 2 tons. I'm excited! I'm going to have them put it on the side of the house so I can carry stuff up the side yard from the basement instead of up the stairs - most of it is paper, heavy. Watch us get three feet of snow on Monday.... I don't care! I'll keep it as long as it takes!

I managed to sell the BP/Amoco stock over the phone without the silly investor id number. I guess I don't really need it after all. Strange part - I called the "get your online account access password" phone number, and they asked me what I wanted to do, and I said I wanted to sell some stock, and they took the sell order - and never did give me the password. Duh? Pretty much the same thing with the ChevronTexaco stock.

It would appear that if you know someone's social security number, you could sell stock right out from under them without their knowledge or permission. The check goes to the address of record, so they'd get the proceeds, but still - you sold their stock! Do it right before a big jump in value, or while it's still short-term gains, and you could really hurt them. Isn't that interesting....

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

#594 Bonfire

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

I had a list of important to-dos today, but I ended up doing other things instead. The Hunk called this morning about burning the brush pile (well over 5 feet high at this point), so I spent most of the late morning and afternoon picking up more of the winter's fallen branches from all over the yard and tending the bonfire.

Then he and another guy got up on the roof to take measurements, to give me an estimate for replacing the shingles. He says there was never a cap put on the peak. 20 years without a cap! Might help to explain the periodic leaks around the fireplace and in the kitchen (only in very bad storms or heavy snow). He also said that the cement cap on the chimney is badly pitted and needs to be replaced before the roof can be done, and the third flue, which is unused, has a covering over it which is pitted, holey, and probably is allowing water in. Sigh. So I spent some time looking up chimney repair companies.

Piper wants me to sell more stock (BP Amoco and Chevron Texaco), so I went to the website for the companies holding the book-entry shares, and found out that I need my "12 character investor id". They can't use the social security number any more, so "you'll find your new number on the stub from your most recent dividend check". Great. I had always kept the stubs, but I recently decided that since I never ever look at them, it was just contributing to the paper glut here to keep them, so I've been throwing them out. I couldn't spend much time on the phone trying to find a real person to talk to, to explain the problem, because Roman was going to call this afternoon, and I didn't want to miss his call because he was going to be working tonight. I was even leaving the phone off the hook when I was out tending the fire so that he'd be sure to call back.

So, tomorrow's to do list looks a lot like today's.

One thing I did do was gather up the past month's paper piles and throw them on the fire. A lot of it was newspapers and magazines I hadn't even read yet. Good riddance. I haven't been able to get to the recycle center in ages, so it was building up. The center is open only certain hours on Wednesdays and on Saturday mornings, and every Saturday morning for the next few weekends is booked. And we saw what happened to today....

I'm off to burn more stuff.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

#593 Questions 18 thru 22

I was up at 6:30 this morning, and at Anna's house at 7:30 to take her to the hospital for her physical therapy appointment - and she wasn't home. Huh? I left a note on her door asking her to call me, "Did I get the wrong day?", and she hasn't called. So now I'm a little worried. I'm supposed to take her Thursday morning, too.

Piper called mid-morning, so I went in to his office to discuss what's happening with the bond purchases, and then we had one of those multi-hour lunches. I like talking with him (when he's not taking about the market). He has a wonderful grasp of people, motives, and relationships. Oddly, he left his wife of a gazillion years several years ago, and he seems not sure why, except that it was the right thing to do. Physician, heal thyself?


Continuing with questions from The Book of Questions, by Gregory Stock, Ph.D., Workman Publishing Company, Inc., $6.95. (If you like the idea, you should buy the book. Get yourself all the questions at once.)

18. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one ability or quality, what would it be?
Social skills. The ability to engage strangers in conversation. Knowing the proper thing to say in various situations. Knowing what NOT to say. I can get through maybe the first two or three exchanges, and then I go dead. I don't know where to go from there. I even forgot to say things like "Good morning" or "Hello" when I passed people in the halls at work. Partly I think it's that I don't like talking just to exchange useless information. People who ask "How are you?" when they don't really want to know annoy the hell out of me. My friend Fran and Daughter have both scolded me, "When someone asks how you are, the proper answer is 'fine, thank you'. They don't really want to hear about your ingrown toenail, or how much work you have." My response of course is "Then why do they ask?" So, the skill I'd want to painlessly acquire is the ability to engage in inane and meaningless conversation. Doesn't sound like an ability I'm likely to grow it myself, does it?

19. You have the chance to meet someone with whom you can have the most satisfying love imaginable -- the stuff of dreams. Sadly, you know that in six months the person will die. Knowing the pain that would follow, would you still want to meet the person and fall in love?
Yes. I'd rather love and lose than never to have loved at all (knowing of the possibility in advance).
What if you knew your lover would not die, but would betray you?
In that case I'd rather skip it. If he is going to betray me, then it wasn't "the most satisfying love" to begin with. It's not satisfying unless it's reciprocal. Betrayal would make the whole experience a lie.

20. If you knew of a way to use your estate, following your death, to greatly benefit humanity, would you do it and leave only a minimal amount to your family?
Um, define "greatly benefit humanity". And if my money can "greatly benefit humanity", then it probably wouldn't take all that much to do it. And if it doesn't take that much, then how 'bout we let some fabulously rich person do it with a piddling little portion of their estate, that their heirs wouldn't even miss. Besides, if Daughter is fine with the idea, then let her donate it after she gets it.

21. Do you prefer being around men or women? Do your closest friends tend to be men or women?
Both, at different times. They both have their advantages. Same with friendships, although men have been my longer-term friendships. Women tend to drift off as their lives and concerns change.

22. If you could use a voodoo doll to hurt anyone you choose, would you?
This is similar to question 11, where I invoked the fifth, but here we are just hurting them, not killing them. Again, it would be very tempting, and this time I might not be able to resist the temptation. Right now, I can't think of anyone I'd want to use it on, but there have been candidates in the past, and there may be some in the future. But I probably wouldn't actually use it. It would just be so satisfying to have the ability to.

Monday, March 06, 2006

#592 The End.

In the briefest terms possible, after a two-month "break", Roman and I spent the past weekend together at a regional Mensa gathering in central New Jersey. We almost didn't survive it. There was a lot of anger and frustration. You have to give the guy credit. He knew what was likely to happen, and he went anyway, and it was an effort that he made for me. It was a release for me and an ordeal for him.

We did survive.

I think my feelings for him are stronger now than before, because I trust him more now. I believe in him. I understand much better what's been going on, and, well, I am content.

Anyone who thought that he was using and abusing me, that he was manipulating me, I can assure you now that was not the case. Well, actually he was manipulating me, but I finally understand his motive, and it's ok. It was not dishonorable - it was simply the actions of a male trying to protect himself. I believe he was and is sincere and honorable in his intentions toward me. We may be able to break the negative feedback spiral we were in.

It may or may not work out, but at least, right now, for the moment, I think we can try.

In the past, I had a lot of confusion and pain, and I had nowhere to take it except to Daughter, a few friends, and these pages, in a search for understanding. I hope that now Roman and I will be able to talk more openly. So, you may not see him mentioned here for a while.

Wish us luck.