Ah, the arrogance of youth. That inability to understand or accept the inevitability of frailty. I was guilty of it.
It was only six years ago that I selected the cliff above Murray Reynolds Falls, on the Kitchen Creek falls trail (read the trip report at that link) in Ricketts Glen state park, as the ideal spot for Jay's ashes. The trail from Lake Jean down to the Route 118 parking lot is 3.2 miles, with 23 named falls. Murray Reynolds is the lowest falls before Rt. 118 (there's one more below 118, which the web site linked above doesn't count).
I chose Murray Reynolds for two reasons.
Jay loved it because there's a large round, deep, quiet, clear pool at the foot of the falls, and one day when we passed it, dogs were swimming in the pool, barking happily, fetching sticks thrown by their people. Our first view was from the cliff, looking down on the scene. Murray Reynolds is safe and fun for dogs, and it would be nice to have his ashes in a dog-fun spot.
The second reason was because Murray Reynolds is the first falls up from Rt. 118, and there's very little rock scrambling necessary to get to it, so (and here's where the foolish arrogance comes in) I figured that when I got old and decrepit I'd still be able to make it at least that far.
I'm not completely decrepit yet, but I realized yesterday that I'm not what I used to be, and I had the first intimations that there may be worse to come.
Six years ago I was in pretty incredible shape. I'd just come off a year of lifting, turning, exercising Jay's 6'3" 200+ pound body. I had muscles on muscles, and stamina to match. The trail from the top down is 3.2 miles, with a 1000' foot drop. The trail goes up and down, but mostly down. In my teens, when I had lived on top of the mountain, I'd bike to the trail head, walk down, and then turn around and walk back up. (Actually, that was before the state cut steps into the cliffs. Back then, you climbed up and down the cliffs with the aid of ropes tied to trees.)
In my adulthood, I'd go with a friend, so we could park cars at the top and bottom, and then walk down. (Note it's not all down. Some places go up steeply, then down some more.)
Yesterday I was alone. So I walked from the bottom up to the first and second falls. I had no difficulty yesterday, it was an easy walk, but it was very clear to me that there would come a day when I wasn't going to be able to do it. One detail that I'd missed six years ago is that it's a little over 1.6 miles from Rt. 118 to Murray Reynolds. Round trip, that's 3.2 miles, same as the full trail, AND it's half UP! And some sections are steep and narrow.
I made it with no problem, but there will come a day when I can't.
I got to commune with Jay a bit. His presence was not as strong as it has been in the past (I've noticed that generally over the past few years, but he'd always been strongest there). But I did feel him there. A few things became clearer to me. I'm not sure whether Jay "told" me - I didn't get that "other" voice in my head - or whether my mind was thinking with more clarity beside the falls, but I got the answers I was looking for.
And it didn't rain.
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