1848 Old Journals

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I need to start making a list of things that have to be done around here. I walk past the side of the house, and think, "That needs power washing." Then I round the corner and forget. I open the garage door, am knocked back by how packed it is, think "I've got to clean that out!" and forget as soon as I close the door. Multiply that by a gazillion.

I used to be so efficient. I kept a paper "Daily", in which I wrote every evening what had been done that day, kept a running list of all things that needed doing, and planned the next day's tasks every evening. It was very useful, because I could look back and verify exactly when I called who about what, and what the agreement was, everything about everything.

I also kept a paper diary, where I explored thoughts.

That all kind of fell by the wayside when Jay was ill. I kept a different kind of daily then, almost exclusively concerned with him: treatments, medications, therapies, diets, appointments, etc. Whatever non-Jay stuff that needed doing around the house became catch as catch can. I didn't make lists because I didn't want to feel guilty when things didn't get done.

After Jay died, I didn't go back to my former organizational mode, because I was tired, depressed, rebellious, whatever, and then not planning became habit.

I decided today that I need to get a grip. Get organized. Start writing things down and crossing them off. So I went looking through the cabinets for a small notebook to use. Didn't find any blank ones, but I found my old paper diaries.

Wow! I used to think about things! I don't think about things any more. I just react to things that push themselves at me. I'd love to blame the internet for that, but I don't know....

I'll have to think about it.
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