3673 I can't seem to get anything done.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Anyone who says they’re good at communicating

but “people are bad at listening”

is confused about how communication works.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I need to go to the Social Security office.  I have some questions, and options I might be able to exercise, but I can't get any information online because I haven't worked in ten years (actually more, but 10 is their cutoff).  Duh?

I am currently drawing benefits on Jay's SS account as his widow.  I'm wondering if my own SS account might pay me more.  And can I draw on Ex#2's account instead?  I know I can if he's dead, but what if he's not dead, just looks that way?  (Ex#1 is dead, but we weren't married long enough for me to qualify.) And if either of those, mine or Ex#2's, will pay more, how do I switch, and how do we make sure Medicare switches, too?

Anyway, the online site said I have to go to the local office if I want details about my account(s).  No appointment necessary.

So on Monday I went to the SS office in Iselin.  I got there about 2:45, met a maintenance guy in the lobby who told me that there was no point in going upstairs, because the SS office closed at 3.  Open 9 to 3.   (Hmmmm.  Good hours, good pay, good benefits - I think I made the wrong choice all those years ago.  Well, maybe they have 2 hours of paperwork after 3.)

So yesterday I tried again.  I got there about mid-morning.  Got off the elevator and found people sitting on the floor in the hall.  Bad sign.  I went to the doors at the end of the hall and found a waiting room about the size of my house footprint, and that room was packed solid.  There was a machine where you put in your info and I guess it issues you a number.  There was a security guy standing a few feet away, so I asked him if it was possible to make an appointment, and he said I should call the 800 number to make an appointment, and he gave me a card with the number on it.  "The card is all in Spanish, but the number is the same."  I said, "Yeah, in numbers we all speak Arabic."  He blinked twice, then laughed.

All those people in the waiting room, by the way, were Hispanic.

I'd been to a Social Security office only twice before, both times the office nearest to the country house, and back then there were only one or two people before me in line.  When I mentioned that to Daughter, and that the people at Iselin all seemed to be Hispanic, she rolled her eyes and said, "Welcome to New Jersey."

So, two half-days wasted.  Sigh.

I have a lot of things I have to do this week, and none of it is getting done.  A lot of it is online stuff, bills to pay, letters to write and get printed, and something has been screwy with my laptop - seems to involve java scripts and/or the Adobe flash player that don't complete and don't clean up after themselves.   My browser gets slower and slower and slower then finally hangs.  I have to run CCleaner to get rid of a lot of orphan files and unconnected stuff in the registry (CCleaner is terrific, and it's free!), then it's briefly fine, and then it slows down again.  I've been freaking out over it.  I've been reIPLing and starting over like every three hours.

What's REALLY weird is that it seems to happen only during "working" hours.  After 6 pm the browser seems to straighten up and fly right.  I did check, I timed it, and it's not my internet connection slowing down, and it's unlikely to be a virus - I've got protection on here like you wouldn't believe.  The protection itself slows things down, but I'm willing to accept that.

I've also noticed that it seems to have some kind of cycle.  It'll be fine for a few weeks, then I'll have a week or two of pain, then it's fine again.  I suspect it may be that I have auto-updating for the operating system and all the other stuff, so components go in and out of phase compatibility-wise.


But mostly, I don't understand.

----------------------------------

I just had a thought.  Maybe today there were only three people ahead of me at the Social Security office - maybe all those other people were just family members and friends who came along for moral support.
.

3201 Dear Diary (skip this post)

Friday, March 25, 2011

We generate the results we think we deserve.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ignore this entry. Skip. Back button. (Except for the green up there. Read that.)

Just noting a few things I did that may require followup,
or at least that I need to remember,
and a few things I have to do, in a place I won't lose it.
A place I look at often.
Otherwise I'll forget.
Lists on paper get lost.

3/23 Copied old photos, took most of day.
""""" Printed list of in-network doctors etc.
3/24 Canceled phone at old house.
""""" Went through photos w Daughter.
""""" Cut hair to basic shape/length.
3/25 Wrote letter to Dr. K. re history. Not yet mailed.
""""" Called McAfee and applied for refund. Check in 10 days.
""""" Called xfer agent re xfer of old joint stock, "Can sigs be separate?" Ans: yes.
""""" Wrote instruction letter to Ex#2 re xfer, mailed letter and form to him.
""""" Picked up box to mail photos. Verified address.
""""" To hairdresser to get back smoothed and shaped.
""""" Bought rake/dustpan-type pooper scooper for gum balls.

To do:
- Find warranty for microwave.
- Find procedures for getting house problems fixed.
- Do so^.
- Make appointment w. doctor, get mammo & bone scan
- Write cover letter, pack & mail photos.
- Unpack latest load from north.
- Pull tog tax docs!!!!
- Locate joint certificates.
- Letter to Nancy M.
- Letter to Bob P.
- Call Colette re FJK Jr. estate - closed.
- Clean attic, take stuff up.
.

2338 I feel so virtuous

Thursday, April 2, 2009

• To quick shop, for frapp coffee and green tea.
• To town hall, for burn permit and recycle sticker.
• To bank, for cash.
• To gas station, for gas.
• To grocery store, for potatoes and marshmallows for the bonfire.
• To hardware store, for plastic drop cloth.
• To gourmet deli, for spinach and goat cheese salad, and quiche.
• Wrote a letter to the insurance agent informing him that there have been no changes in my situation, and therefore I do not feel a (sales) meeting is necessary.
• Paid the medical bills from the IBC scare.
• Called the radiologists' office to assure them that I DID see the surgeon as recommended and they can stop bugging me.
• Sorted all the lingerie I've accumulated over the past year into "shockingly revealing", "subtle and sophisticated", "doesn't fit / don't like - to resell".
• Reduced the mending/tailoring pile by about three inches.

Done!
.

1848 Old Journals

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I need to start making a list of things that have to be done around here. I walk past the side of the house, and think, "That needs power washing." Then I round the corner and forget. I open the garage door, am knocked back by how packed it is, think "I've got to clean that out!" and forget as soon as I close the door. Multiply that by a gazillion.

I used to be so efficient. I kept a paper "Daily", in which I wrote every evening what had been done that day, kept a running list of all things that needed doing, and planned the next day's tasks every evening. It was very useful, because I could look back and verify exactly when I called who about what, and what the agreement was, everything about everything.

I also kept a paper diary, where I explored thoughts.

That all kind of fell by the wayside when Jay was ill. I kept a different kind of daily then, almost exclusively concerned with him: treatments, medications, therapies, diets, appointments, etc. Whatever non-Jay stuff that needed doing around the house became catch as catch can. I didn't make lists because I didn't want to feel guilty when things didn't get done.

After Jay died, I didn't go back to my former organizational mode, because I was tired, depressed, rebellious, whatever, and then not planning became habit.

I decided today that I need to get a grip. Get organized. Start writing things down and crossing them off. So I went looking through the cabinets for a small notebook to use. Didn't find any blank ones, but I found my old paper diaries.

Wow! I used to think about things! I don't think about things any more. I just react to things that push themselves at me. I'd love to blame the internet for that, but I don't know....

I'll have to think about it.
.

1135 Old Dailies

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Whoop! I got up early enough to take stuff to the recycle center today. About 40 lbs of glass, a large bag of plastic, two grocery bags of newspaper, and two of "clean" paper. And an 18" stack of flattened corrugated boxes. I can move in the kitchen again.

I don't understand where all those boxes came from - one from the shredder, one from the new TV, a few book purchases from Amazon, but the rest? I don't know.

------------------------------------

Looking for a small spiral notebook to take to the museum yesterday, I found my Dailies from 1999 and 2000. I used to write down every evening what had happened that day. I'd done that for years. No philosophizing, no opinions, just a list of things done. At the bottom of each page I made a list of "to do"s for the next day. It worked well. I was always able to look back to see when orders were placed, forms mailed, items bought, errands run. Looking through them, I am amazed at how much I accomplished every day.

The Dailies were not kept after December 2000, because things got so hectic with Jay's illness that I lived by little slips of paper and file folders, and I spent very little time at home. Mostly I was in hospitals, on the phone, or on the road. And then after Jay died, I never got back to it. Maybe I should restart. It might get my tail in gear again.

The 2000 Daily has reminded me of how strange Jay was in 2000. I had forgotten.

In May 2000, he decided to cut back the raspberries spreading into the yard from the woods. I happened to glance outside and found that he was cutting everything, including good shrubs, young trees, flowers, everything. Like his mind said "Cut", and the governor was off.

Along about July he started changing lightbulbs. If you didn't keep him occupied with other stuff, if he got to loose ends, he'd start changing light bulbs. When we went to the store, he'd insist on buying more light bulbs. The bulbs weren't burned out - I'd retrieve them from the garbage - it's just like he'd forget to flip the light switch, decide the bulb was out, and replace it. That explains why I now have a few hundred light bulbs in the pantry. Funny how I'd forgotten that.

We used to go to garage sales on weekends. I'd drive and he'd navigate. Along about August he lost the ability to read maps. He could find streets on the map and trace the route to get there, but he couldn't apply it to the roads we were on. We'd come up to a "Y", and I'd ask "Which way?", and he couldn't figure it out. About this same time he could no longer read a calendar, or do the binary search required to find a word in the dictionary. And no matter where we went, even just up the road to the deli, he thought we had crossed the river.

In September, he lost doors and drawers. If they were closed, they became solid walls to him. He didn't know how to get to the other side of them, or in some cases, that there even was anything on the other side. If you opened them for him, he'd leave them open, even the shower stall door. He couldn't figure out how to keep the water in the shower stall.

In late September, he sometimes got lost in the house. If he was tired, he couldn't find the bedroom from the dining room. We didn't dare close bathroom doors.

It was in October that he woke me in the middle of the night to tell me that there was someone else in bed with us. I asked who, where, and he pointed to his left arm and whispered "There. That's his arm." He didn't recognize his left arm. He could move it, use the hand to pick things up, but didn't recognize it, which was very confusing to him. He kept hitting it, like he wanted it to go away.

By November he could no longer dress himself. He would dress his right side, but neglect the left, and of course his clothing wouldn't stay on, and he couldn't figure out why not. He looked so cute coming out to the kitchen for breakfast with his robe on his right side, the belt tied neatly around his waist, but the left side completely naked, and the left half of the robe dragging on the floor behind him. By December, however, he couldn't remember how to tie a knot, so the robe wouldn't stay on at all.

And yet, some parts of his mind were as sharp as ever. It was during this time that he completed work on the invention application (the one that was finally granted last fall), and his old workmates still depended on him for telephone consultation on highly technical matters.

Some things were lost, well, more like hidden, since his logical powers didn't work in the hidden areas, but what hadn't been lost was as good as ever.

------------------------------

I read an ad for a toy that "flies as far as a football field". I'm wondering, just how far can a football field fly?
.