Love means seeing someone’s wounds and broken places and loving them not only in spite of them, but also because of them.
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The old expression is "I'm being slowly nibbled to death by ducks." I laugh when I hear it, because it reminds me of our vacation on a narrowboat on the canals in England.
We would tie up at night along the tow path in the countryside, and then we'd be kept awake all night by loudly baa'ing sheep and a strange sound coming from the hull of the boat. It sounded like we were rubbing against rocks. I'd get up and go check that the bumpers were in place and that the lines were holding us tight to the canal side, and I'd poke with the push stick to make sure we weren't in a shallow spot, and I'd notice that the sound stopped when I was on deck, and started up again as soon as I went back to bed.
We quickly learned that we should tie up near cows, not sheep. Sheep are LOUD! And they baa all night as a safety thing. Cows sleep. It took a while, though, to find out that the scraping sound was ducks nibbling the algae on the side of the boat, and there was nothing we could do about that. (I'd have expected fish, not ducks, doing the nibbling, but fish sleep when it's dark, too. Ducks don't.)
So, anyway, minnows now.
I have so many big things to do. Like clean out the old house, finish painting here, move furniture down, and so on. Unfortunately, that's stuff that can be put off. I'm being held up by little things that have to be done RIGHT NOW! OR ELSE!
The Angel worked on my taxes over the weekend, and electronically filed them Sunday evening. Again, he filed them before I reviewed them. He does that every year, and every year I find something wrong and we have to file an amended form, and we have this "run it past me first even if that means we have to file for an extension" discussion. He sent me a copy by email. After they were filed.
Yep, errors. A bunch of stock was listed as short term gains that should have been long term, because TDAmeritrade reported them as short term because they counted from the time the distribution account was opened by the executors of my late father-in-law's estate, but I actually owned the stock dating from the time of death, which was a year earlier. Stuff like that.
Anyway, I ended up owing a few thousand over the estimated tax payments I'd already made, and The Angel arranged for payment to be made by direct transfer, on Monday, from my checking account. Yeah, we've done that before, but back then I owed only a few hundred. ACK!
I spent early Monday scrabbling to make sure there was enough money in the account to cover the transfer. I have the new account here, and that's what he used. But that account has a debit card (I hate the very concept of debit cards, and resisted as long as I could because I KNOW what's bound to happen), and no matter how I try, I'm very bad at keeping track of when I use the debit thing, and for how much, so "balance" is a rather hopeful but nebulous concept.
It was going to be close. Very close. Uncomfortably close.
I also have several accounts back at the old upriver address: one checking and savings pair used for PayPal only so I have tight control over debits, one checking and savings for everyday, and one savings for business use.
I have online access to the old accounts. Browsing through them to figure out where to get some money to cover the taxes and for the rest of the month, I noticed that I'd been debited $2 every month since October on all the savings accounts for "Bad Address". Huh?
The morning was spent moving money around. Much of the afternoon was spent trying to figure out what was wrong with the address on those accounts. I had changed the address on what I thought was all my accounts in person with a teller back in early November, and I had later verified it online.
I'm getting the monthly statements for one of the accounts, which include checking, savings, and signature loan info all on one statement, at the new address. The monthly statements didn't show the Bad Address fee being charged on that savings account, even though it did show up online. How's that for weird?
I wandered around the website, and could find no other address stuff. I had done everything I was supposed to do, or could do, for changing the address. I called the bank. This is what the guy on the phone told me to write:
Dear Folks,This is what I got back:
I have two checking and three savings accounts with you under the name [Me], SS# nnn-nn-nnnn (Phone aaa-xxx-xxxx).
I recently moved from [old address], to [new address].
I have online access to my accounts, and all of them show up in the list on the online summary page. I changed the address in person in the [old location] office, and then I went online to the "Self Service" tab, then to "Personal Options", to "Personal Information", to "Change Address", and verified that the address was correct.
THE PROBLEM: The address change apparently did not take effect for ALL my accounts. I have been receiving the hardcopy statements for [account#] checking and savings at the new address, but not for the other accounts. Worse, I have been assessed a monthly $2 fee on the ALL savings accounts for "Bad Address". See especially savings account [other account number] for an example.
I spoke to B[....] in the call center, and he spoke to W[....], who agrees that it definitely wasn't my fault, I did what I was supposed to do, so the fees should be refunded, but that I needed to write an email (or letter, or whatever).
Please ensure that the address is changed on all accounts under my name, and refund the fees.
I appreciate your attention to this matter.
[Me]
I have refunded your accounts for the charges and I will send you copies. I will also be sending you a form to have notarized. Please print this e-mail and take it to a notary with your signature on it. I will be sending you the form for the notary to sign. I will send it in today's mail with a postage paid envelope so you can return the paperwork to me.
Thank you,
[Her first name]
Branch Manager
There were no attachments.
Ok. I went online and checked, and the fees have been refunded. But why do I have to print "this email", sign it, and "take it to a notary with your signature on it"? (She's snail-mailing the real forms. And why do they have to be notarized anyway?) And does she really not know that you have to sign in front of the notary? Or is it just unfortunate wording? Also, the branch manager when I'd last been there was a very intelligent, business-like, impressively tall and handsome black guy. What happened to him? Why is this fool with poor communication skills now in charge?
There's been some stupid thing like this every! single! day! for the past three weeks, that keeps me from getting the real work done. Minnows. Not even the size of ducks.
I'm being nibbled to death.
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