2485 The Missouri Lots

Monday, July 6, 2009

Roman poet Juvenal: “Censure acquits the raven,
but pursues the dove.”

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Ex#2 is driving me crazy. Again.

About 35 years ago we went camping at Big Springs, Missouri. On the way home we passed a billboard for a new lake development, Goose Creek. There was no lake yet, just a valley the developers planned to flood, and a bunch of wooded lots they were selling for vacation homes.

We stopped. We got the sales pitch. He decided he wanted to buy, so we did. Two adjoining lots, across the dirt road from the future beach on the future lake.

He liked those lots because even though they were so close to the (future) lake, they were cheap, because a small stream ran through them, leaving little ground for building. But with two lots, he figured we could build across the two above the creek, or sell them as a unit once the lake came in.

There were covenants. Designs for building on the lots had to be submitted for approval. All buildings had to be stick-built. No trailers would be approved or allowed, even temporarily. Within X feet of the lake, septic tanks and septic fields would not be allowed. You'd have to have a holding tank. Creeks and streams were to be left natural. A certain number of mature trees had to be left on a lot. And so on.

We spent many weekends clearing underbrush from the lots. And I noticed a few disturbing things.

Like that the guy on the next lot had installed a beat-up old trailer, which he was living in full time, and was putting in a septic tank, and a drain field that sloped right down to the (future) beach.

At night, large flocks of bats emerged from the banks and bed of the (future) lake. A little research revealed that the area was riddled with caves. Um, how are they planning to keep the water in the lake?

Within weeks, the creek crossing the lots dried up. Exploration revealed that people upstream had dammed it to make pools. Many people. Many dams. I headed upcreek with a crowbar, and the first five dams I ripped out had no water behind them - because of dams further up. I gave up.

I went to the sales office and mentioned the septic field. They said they'd take care of it. They didn't. I asked about the caves, and they said they'd "block the entrances with cement". Duh? And what about the bats? Aren't they protected? No answer.

I rapidly lost interest in Goose Creek. In the divorce, I ceded the lots to Ex#2. I considered them an albatross and wanted nothing to do with them.

Somewhere along the line the dam was built and the lake filled, but it came nowhere near the lots. All those caves, I guess. Or faulty engineering.

Now Ex#2 wants to sell.

It turns out it won't be easy. My name is still on the deed as joint owner, so he wants a quitclaim. And the lots both span two counties (they didn't usta, but the counties redrew the lines, and that's where the new lines fall), but there's only one deed, so there's some confusion as to how to amend the deed. Of course Ex#2 is too cheap to hire a Missouri lawyer.

Now he expects me to help with the mess.

Way back when, the court order would have been enough for him to have had the deed changed, but he didn't do it then. Now, of course, he no longer has a copy of the divorce decree. He wants me to go through my files and find mine, and send him a copy.

Yeah, uh huh.

He wants me to answer all his legal questions.

Yeah, uh huh.

He sends me copies of documents as email attachments. They're in Microsoft Office Word format. I don't have Office. I can't open or read them, and I'm in no mood to try to figure out how to reformat them. I tell him that, and they still arrive in Office Word.

He says everything has to be on legal-sized paper (14 inches?). I said that's ridiculous. Every law office and government office in the country switched to 8.5 x 11 decades ago. "Well, that's what Missouri wants." It turns out that they do accept 8.5 x 11, but they charge a $15 fee for it.

Toldja he was cheap.

I told him if he'd send me the papers by snail mail, I'd sign a quit claim form (or two) and get it notarized and send it back. I figure that's the limit of my responsibility and as involved as I want to get.

And the worst is that when he calls to ask for something, I guess he feels he has to be friendly, so he chats. It's also very obvious that when he wants something from me, he's friendly and chatty. Otherwise, I get short shrift. One word answers.

Bah. Now I'm in a bad mood.

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Goose Creek:

If you go to this link, you'll find an interactive map. The lots are on the northeast corner of Lakeview and Beach Drives, I think. You can move and enlarge the map for a better look. The lake was supposed to go well up into that "V" formed by those streets, and of course, it didn't. [Update: He says they're in the east corner of the square formed by Parrot Dr., Pawnee Dr., Sunshine Dr., and Sassafras Dr., on the southern point of the lake.]


If anyone is interested, I'm sure he'll sell them cheap. He paid about $5,000 for them, and no more than $150 a year for 35 years in taxes and association fees.