2318 Last Night at the Halfway Point

Friday, March 20, 2009

The title sounds like a movie. A dimly lit empty diner on a road bypassed by the new highway. A couple searching for a rendezvous point, and a little bit lost. A crazed cook with a cleaver.

The actuality would have made a great movie, but not one I'd want distributed. We didn't go to the usual karaoke. We had some rare concentrated time alone together, and made very good use of it. Man, he sure can talk.

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I'm starting on a new smoke-cessation program.

I have brought up on several occasions with my doctor the subject of quitting smoking. She always suggests the nicotine gum or the patches.

They don't work for me, period.

I don't chew gum normally, and I had a lot of trouble regulating the "dosage" when I tried. One problem is that the brand I smoke is extremely mild, and the gum delivers too much nicotine, even when I cut it down to 1/4 of a stick.

The patches are a bit easier to use, except that I have to start with step 3, and since you can't cut them in half, there's nowhere to go from there. Plus the patches deliver a constant level of nicotine, and that's not what my body's used to.

The third problem is that it's not simply the nicotine I'm addicted to - it's also the ceremony. Having a cigarette is the punctuation to a task. When I finish something, I get up and go have a cigarette. It's the reward for the end of a task. When I need to think hard about a topic or decision, getting away from it for a cigarette usually leads to a decision. It's like I think better when I take that break. And then there's the simple ceremony of lighting, holding, drawing, directing the smoke.

The patches and gum do not supply the ceremony, and nothing else I'd found quite does it.

The result is anxiety, because I am bereft of my calming ceremony, and eventually the anxiety becomes unbearable, especially if I have to cope with something that has angered or frustrated me.

Now, there ARE prescriptions that can mitigate the anxiety. There are doctors who will prescribe those calming meds to help in smoke-cessation.

My doctor isn't one of them. I don't present as having anger management issues, or as being someone with anxiety problems, so I guess she just doesn't believe I need it. There's also the problem that a smoker may have an addictive personality, and trading one addiction for another isn't a solution.

So, until a few days ago, I was kind of stuck. I did actually stop smoking shortly after Christmas for amost three weeks, cold turkey, no aids, and then I got very angry and frustrated with someone, and it was like I sleepwalked to the deli and bought a pack, it was the only thing that calmed me down, and then I was right back where I started.

My ideal aid would be something that provided tapering nicotine, AND the calming ceremony.

Ta rah! I discovered E-Cigs. It's a "cigarette" consisting of a rechargeable battery, a microprocessor, an atomizing chamber, and replaceable capsules of a nicotine mixture (one pack's worth per capsule). When you draw on it, it produces "smoke" (actually water vapor with a touch of nicotine), and the tip lights up.

It provides nicotine and, except that you don't light it, the ceremony! without the tars and other chemicals.

They are apparently all the rage in Europe. In the US, the FDA is trying to block their importation, since they haven't been tested to the FDA's satisfaction, so they are marked as a "healthier nicotine delivery system", not as a smoking cessation device. But the capsules come in high, medium, low, and zero nicotine level, so it's pretty easy to figure out.

I bought enough capsules to last five weeks, with a taper down in nicotine level. They arrived this afternoon, and so far, they're satisfying enough.

Of course, they haven't been stress tested. I'm still floating on cloud nine today, and I'll be seeing The Man again tomorrow, and all day Sunday. The real test will come when he's unavailable for three or more weeks in a row.

(You can find them most inexpensively on eBay. Search for "electronic cigarette", or "smoking everywhere". )
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