2033 Repeating an old post - Abortion

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

This is a post from my original AOL journal, at http://journals.aol.com/jaykolb/Moraine/. It contains entries from June 22, 2004 to November 16, 2005.

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Wednesday, September 15, 2004

In general, things I say are often taken in a way I don't at all mean them to be taken. I think maybe because listeners interpret what I say in the context of what they are thinking at the moment. They think I am headed the same direction they're heading -but I'm often looking at things from a slightly different angle. I don't say what they expect, but they hear (or read) what they expect. So that's why one of the things I like about Mensa is that my comments are not (well, not quite as often) misunderstood. Therefore I was surprised when I said something at lunch recently that was not immediately understood.

The conversation had veered into general politics, in particular into the influence of the religious right on conservative thinking, and the role of religion in decision-making, and eventually into Roe v Wade. My comment was, "The thinking is obvious. It's not ok to kill an unborn baby. You have to wait until they're old enough to put on a uniform, then you can kill as many as you want to." I was surprised when it took a minute. No, I was not saying that it's ok to kill young men in uniform. Sheesh!

By the way, to reiterate my personal opinion, abortion is a BAD THING. I hate that there are people who treat it casually. I hate that it exists as an option. On the other hand, women MUST have the right to control their own lives, to determine the uses to which their bodies are put. (The old saw about keeping women barefoot and pregnant wasn't a joke. Pregnancy was not so very long ago one of many powers that men exercised over women.) Therefore, we must keep abortion legal until we have eliminated all the reasons that some women feel an abortion is necessary. It's unfair to do otherwise!

So don't work against abortion - not yet, anyway - work for inexpensive and convenient daycare at hours that suit the job, equal pay, safe birth control, cheap prenatal care, paid maternity leave, guaranteed jobs and continued seniority over the leave, gentle deliveries, paid paternal leave, etc. Work to find out why women turn to abortion, how did they get into such a desperate position, and work to eliminate those conditions.

The antiabortion folks terrorize women with stories about bad dreams for years afterward - but women who give babies up for adoption have bad dreams, too. Don't forget that for every picture of a dead fetus, there is a picture of an abused, broken, unloved toddler. Equally as bad as abortion is having and keeping a baby you don't want, can't afford, and aren't mature or committed enough to raise. Instead of outlawing abortion, we need to eliminate male (sorry guys, but it's still true) physical, emotional, and financial control over women's destinies, and make it easier for a woman to be a mother, and only by conscious choice.

Having been a single mother, I know whereof I speak. Daycare was my biggest problem. The "large computer manufacturer" didn't feel at all guilty about assigning huge amounts of overtime and requiring third shift lab time on short notice, and yet refusing to provide 24-hour company-sponsored daycare. They made it very difficult to be both a good parent and a good employee. Extremely high-stress. And if I'd had a minimum wage at-will job, it would have been impossible. In that situation, you can't even complain. When you live paycheck to paycheck, a parent can't just quit and look for a more accomodating job. There's no cushion, and no leeway.

I am annoyed that so many people think children are of utmost importance, until they are asked to help take care of them. Then, it's your problem, not theirs. I don't think anyone should speak out against abortion until they have adopted several unloved babies, and have taken desperate pregnant women into their homes, and have given material help to establish decent daycare. Otherwise, they are just looking down their noses, and sneering "Well, if you lived like I do, you wouldn't have gotten into that position in the first place." First, make it possible for them to live like you do. Then you can complain when they don't.