Thursday, June 14, 2012

3549 More Billly Blob

Thursday, June 14, 2012

You’re not as awful nor as brilliant as you think you are nor in the ways you think you are.

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Back in 2007 I discovered Billy Blob.  Very strange cartoon videos.  I was reading over old posts from back then, followed a link in an old post, and discovered a new video since then.



[http://youtu.be/zJYKIN480rA, also at http://billyblob.com/cartoons/we-are-science-probes.html]
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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

3548 Favorite Christmas Carols of the Cracked

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

If you really want to do something, you'll find a way.  If you don't want to, you'll find an excuse.

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[Note for strangers searching for carols - "3548" is the sequence number for this post, not the number of carols.]

Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia - I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees ...

Paranoid - Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

Pyromania - Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, How Beautifully You're Burning

Borderline Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Attention Deficit Disorder - Silent night, Holy ooooo look at the pretty, can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells...

Asperger Syndrome - Huh? Carol who?
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Monday, June 11, 2012

3547 Grave robbers and fashion vultures

Monday, June 11, 2012

Have you ever heard a friend repeat something you said, but mess it up completely? 
Now imagine a billion people doing that. 
-- Jesus Christ --

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Grave robbers:

An archeologist cleans a skeleton during excavations in the Black Sea town of Sozopol, Bulgaria on June 1, 2012. Archaeologists have unearthed two skeletons from the Middle Ages pierced through the chest with iron rods to keep them from turning into vampires, the head of the history museum said. According to pagan beliefs, people who were considered bad during their lifetimes might turn into vampires after death unless stabbed in the chest with an iron or wooden rod before being buried. (STR/AFP/GettyImages)#  From The Big Picture,  http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2012/06/scenes_from_bulgaria.html.

I am not particularly sentimental or religious.  I mostly think sterile cemeteries are a waste of material.  If the state would permit it, when I've finished with this body, I would like to be dropped off in the woods somewhere to feed the beasties and trees.  Seems like that's the way it should be.

So am I weird that I am very annoyed when archaeologists dig up bodies?  It really bugs me to see people down in a hole dusting off bones.  Those bodies were put there for a reason, there were people with beliefs involved, and I don't care how "respectful" you think you're being, I say Hands Off!

It really does bother me.  I don't know why.

---------------------------------

Fashion:

Fashion, whether clothing, furnishing, design, anything, makes no sense.   The sole purpose of fashion is to make you feel inadequate and force you to buy new stuff.  It has been so ever since Ogg discovered there's a market for bearskins.

When something new becomes fashionable, I wonder how many people ask themselves, "Is this new thing better than the old thing?  Or just ... different."

Let's rebel.
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3546 End of last week catch up

Monday, June 11, 2012

Harvey Korman, on his using Viagra: It would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

-----------------------------------------

I have finished Madame Bovary.   I'd never heard or read a synopsis, or seen any of the movies, so I had no real inkling of the story.  Somewhere along the line I'd seen a deathbed scene from a very old movie, possibly a silent movie, and occasional references to Mme. Bovary's romantic nature and her many assignations.  So I had, without thinking about it, assumed she was something like a Parisian courtesan, and that she died a lingering death of "consumption", and that her lovers sadly abandoned her in the end.  Or something like that.

The real story is very different.

As soon as I finished the book, I watched a 2.25 hour French version on YouTube with subtitles.  The movie left out a LOT!  (Also, the movie made it seem more like she was lured, beguiled, into debt by the predatory merchant with no concept of what she was doing.  In the book, it's more like the merchant was just filling her hunger.  And the movie didn't really get into how her neediness put so much pressure on Leon.  So, don't go by the movies.)

Check one off the very bottom of the bucket list.

---------------------------------

According to the GPS, the country house is about 360 feet above sea level.  Harumph.  It seems higher.

---------------------------------

When I return from a trip to the country house, I have to time it just right.  I have to leave by 2 pm at the latest, or wait until after 5 pm, to avoid rush hour on the Garden State Parkway.  The rush hour traffic isn't bad - it's that there's always at least one accident that has traffic backed up for an hour.  Friday I left at 5 pm, but it turned out that was a mistake.  The Rhinebeck Fairgrounds was hosting a huge antique motorcycle show Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  The traffic jam heading toward the (two-lane) bridge over the Hudson River was horrendous.

As I crept along, there were three motorcycles in front of me.  Stop, go, stop, go.  I gave them plenty of room, especially because I appreciated their staying in the lane.  We were passed by dozens of motorcycles roaring down the shoulder on our right, which royally pissed me off.  I mean, if I'd had a gun ... or a barrel of roofing nails ....  They were ignoring courtesy, rules, and speed limits.  But worst of all, it was THE MOTORCYCLE CLUB'S SHOW that generated all this traffic!  It was THEIR FAULT!  And they're just blowing by while we innocents suffer?

When I finally got across the bridge and onto route 209, motorcycles continued to blast by.  55 mph speed limit, and they had to be doing at least 85.  At least.

And they wonder why motorists won't give them a break?  QUIT PISSING US OFF!  Quit acting like laws, rules, and common courtesy don't apply to you.

---------------------------------

I usually return from the country on Thursday, but I was late this week.  So Friday I expected more traffic than usual.  I never use the GPS on that trip because I know the route.  Friday I had it on for no particular reason, and as I entered NJ, I was shocked to hear something I'd never heard before: "Severe traffic ahead.  Recalculating."

Huh?  The traffic application is optional.  I didn't know I had it.

The GPS took me off the Garden State Parkway onto route 3 east, to the NJ Turnpike.  I'm glad I obeyed.  The view of Manhattan from route 3 is amazing!  From the top of the first hill off the Parkway, the cluster of tall gleaming buildings rises high above the trees ahead.  It looks for all the world like a scene from a fairy tale movie.  The sun was in the west hitting the scene full on, and the sky was clear.

Oz!

One of these trips I'll try to take a picture.

----------------------------------

At some point every morning, Nugget goes to the window, points urgently, and says "Amma! Amma!"  Daughter escorts her across the street, and we have this routine.  Nugget pounds on my door, "Amma!  Amma!".  I yell, "Who's that beating on my door?" (Billy Goat Gruff voice) and open it.  Nugget hustles past to look for cat toys (which she prefers to kid toys).

On Thursday, Nugget said it was time to visit Amma, and Daughter said no, Gramma isn't home, and distracted her.  On Friday, Nugget was more insistent and wouldn't be distracted, so Daughter brought her over. Nugget pounded on the door ... and there was no answer.  Daughter tried to explain that the van wasn't in the driveway, Gramma was with the van, gone bye-bye.  Van gone bye-bye, Gramma gone bye-bye. 

Big disappointment.

(Hercules looked up "Amma" to see if it had a meaning and was surprised to find that it is appropriate.  I could have told him - "Amah" is a nursemaid throughout much of southern Asia and India.  So I don't mind if Nugget never masters the "Gr" part.)
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3545 Write

Monday, June 11, 2012

You can cope.  You can always cope, no matter what.  And then later,
you can be proud of having coped.

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I copied this directly from Roba at http://www.andfaraway.net/blog/2012/06/11/pixar-rules-for-narration/, because I knew if I simply linked to it, nobody would read it, and it's well worth reading. 

“Story basics” from Emma Coats, of Pixar:

#1: You admire a character for trying more than for their successes.

#2: You gotta keep in mind what’s interesting to you as an audience, not what’s fun to do as a writer. They can be very different.

#3: Trying for theme is important, but you won’t see what the story is actually about until you’re at the end of it. Now rewrite.

#4: Once upon a time there was ___. Every day, ___. One day ___. Because of that, ___. Because of that, ___. Until finally ___.

#5: Simplify. Focus. Combine characters. Hop over detours. You’ll feel like you’re losing valuable stuff but it sets you free.

#6: What is your character good at, comfortable with? Throw the polar opposite at them. Challenge them. How do they deal?

#7: Come up with your ending before you figure out your middle. Seriously. Endings are hard, get yours working up front.

#8: Finish your story, let go even if it’s not perfect. In an ideal world you have both, but move on. Do better next time.

#9: When you’re stuck, make a list of what WOULDN’T happen next. Lots of times the material to get you unstuck will show up.

#10: Pull apart the stories you like. What you like in them is a part of you; you’ve got to recognize it before you can use it.

#11: Putting it on paper lets you start fixing it. If it stays in your head, a perfect idea, you’ll never share it with anyone.

#12: Discount the 1st thing that comes to mind. And the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th – get the obvious out of the way. Surprise yourself.

#13: Give your characters opinions. Passive/malleable might seem likable to you as you write, but it’s poison to the audience.

#14: Why must you tell THIS story? What’s the belief burning within you that your story feeds off of? That’s the heart of it.

#15: If you were your character, in this situation, how would you feel? Honesty lends credibility to unbelievable situations.

#16: What are the stakes? Give us reason to root for the character. What happens if they don’t succeed? Stack the odds against.

#17: No work is ever wasted. If it’s not working, let go and move on – it’ll come back around to be useful later.

#18: You have to know yourself: the difference between doing your best & fussing. Story is testing, not refining.

#19: Coincidences to get characters into trouble are great; coincidences to get them out of it are cheating.

#20: Exercise: take the building blocks of a movie you dislike. How d’you rearrange them into what you DO like?

#21: You gotta identify with your situation/characters, can’t just write ‘cool’. What would make YOU act that way?

#22: What’s the essence of your story? Most economical telling of it? If you know that, you can build out from there.

[From Pixar Touchbook, http://www.pixartouchbook.com/blog/2011/5/15/pixar-story-rules-one-version.html]
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Sunday, June 10, 2012

3544 Noises

Sunday, June 10, 2012

"Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace"
~Dalai Lama~

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There's still that sound coming from somewhere across the street.  Like high-pitched tree frogs with a mechanical undertone.  It drives me crazy.   Daughter and Hercules can hear it on my porch and in my front rooms.  They don't hear it in their house.  Nobody knows where it's coming from.  It's random, several hours a day, sometimes early, sometimes late.  A compressor?  A pump?  The source seems to be impossible to pinpoint.

I mentioned that the people directly across the street got a dog, Christmas of 2010, one of those tiny silky dogs that people like to put topknot bows on.  The girl there walked it a little at first, but quickly lost interest.  The man comes home from work and sometimes I hear him yell, "Put her in her cage!'  I think the poor little thing spends most of her life in a cage.  Two or three times a day they put her out the front door on a chain, and then seem to forget her.  She quickly does her duty, and then sits in front of the door and whines for half an hour, 45 minutes, yesterday afternoon it was an hour.

You know, I could stand a little barking, but that high-pitched "YEE yee yee, YEE yee yee, YEE yee yee" (keep saying that for a half hour) is driving me crazy.  How can they not hear her and let her in?

I miss the silence of the country house.  
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Saturday, June 09, 2012

3543 NYC-Speak

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Ignorant men don't know what good they hold in their hands
until they've flung it away.
-- Sophocles --

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"They" say people in New York City talk fast. That's not precisely true. It's not really talking fast, it's running things together, with no attention to distinct syllables, let alone accented syllables. That has the effect of speeding it up because it shortens it, but it's not the same thing.

The Nugget was hugging a doll when The Man was here, and he said to her, "Gimilmo. Gimilmo."  She stared at him, confused.  It took me a few seconds to figure out that he wanted her to give him the doll she was holding, an Elmo muppet.  I said, "Show the man Elmo", and she give him the muppet.  He hugged it properly and gave it back, and she fell in love with him.

Mostly he doesn't do that NYC-speak, except when he makes some offhand remark, and then I flat out don't understand him.  He says, "Yeah, I mutter".  I used to ask, but now if I don't catch it, I just let it go.  If it's important, he slows down and says individual words.

I mentioned the Nugget's confusion to Daughter, and she said that yeah, since she's been talking to the Nugget, she's much more conscious of how fast she talks, how she's slowed down now and doesn't run things together when she talks to the baby.  But she still gets frustrated by how non-NYC/NJ people (like ME!) talk so slowly.  She wants to shake us, "Come on!  Get it OUT already!"

She and I both get frustrated when we talk on the phone.  I have to ask her to repeat every other phrase.  "Slow down, please."  She says she understands a bit better now, and almost apologized for accusing me multiple times of going deaf.
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Tuesday, June 05, 2012

3542 I am shocked!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Do not feel absolutely certain of anything.
-- Bertrand Russell --

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I go to maps.google every so often to look at the street view of houses I have lived in.  They're gradually filling in more houses as time passes.  The latest country house doesn't have a street view yet, nor does the current city house.

Today I looked up where we lived in the St. Louis area.*

I'm sorry I did.

At almost every house I'd lived in since I was on my own, I've planted a dark red lace-leaf Japanese maple.  I love them, and I never got to see any of them grown up, but it felt good anyway.  Like I'd left a gift for the new owners and the old neighborhood.

So I was looking forward to see what 35 years had done for the tree I'd left in St. Louis.  I had planted it on a bit of slope outside the door.  It should be 7 feet tall and spreading 14 feet around and lush by now.

I'd also planted barberry bushes along the line of the porch at the St. Louis house, and a crepe myrtle at the north corner of the house.  Rose of Sharon bushes at the side of the garage.  The upper windows had window boxes spilling petunias, and there was a long box under the window along the porch, full of geraniums.  The lawn was super fine thick red fescue that I kept cut to 4 inches so it looked lush and shiny, and it was loaded with crocus bulbs that would have multiplied amazingly.

I am shocked!

Not only is there NO sign of the Japanese maple, the barberrys, the crepe myrtle, or the rose of Sharon, the upstairs window boxes are gone, there's nothing in the lower window box, and the lawn looks like crap, with thin brown scalped patches (you can't cut red fescue so short!)  It looks like somebody came through and tore out everything living.  The place has that bare naked look of new construction.  It looks blasted!

The only token to landscaping is a 20 foot multi-colored totem pole smack in the middle of the front yard.
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*The address is in a comment, where, I hope, it's less likely to turn up in a search.

Monday, June 04, 2012

3541 Challenge

Monday, June 4, 2012

Criminals do not die by the hands of the law. They die by the hands of other men.
-- George Bernard Shaw --

-----------------------------------------------------------------

June!  Agh!  Already?

-----------------------

The GPS says my city house is 29 feet above sea level.  Not enough, I think.  Next time I go to the country house, I'll have to check there.

------------------------

I went to a small hafla last Friday evening.  Some kids were selling raffle tickets at 20 cents each for some charity.  I bought five.  I won.  First time I've ever won a raffle.  Each of the vendors there had contributed something to the raffle, so I won a shopping bag containing a tiny glazed mirror exactly the right size for the sink in the half bath, a CD from the group who performed the music, a nice jingle hip scarf, a plush camel, two long sexy yarn hair doflinkies, an anklet, and a couple other things I can't remember now.  After I got home I found a card entitling me to a hula hoop - which annoyed me because I'd actually considered buying one from the vendor.  (After reflection, it has occurred to me that said vendor, knowing there was a coupon in the bag since the hoop wouldn't have fit, should have searched out the raffle winner.  Hey, there weren't that many people there.)

--------------------------

Sumthin' else I don't understand:  Howcum if God tells you to do X, like join the priesthood, marry a particular person, or run for national office, then you can publicly claim God speaks to you and many people will believe you and consider you favored by God.

But if God tells you to do Y, like kill a particular person, set fire to yourself, or bomb a building for political reasons, then the courts and public opinion consider you insane if you claim God told you to do it.

Who are we to decide what God will or will not tell a person to do?  To whom He will or will not speak?  Who are we to ascribe motives to God?  If Man did not create God, then how can Man define God?   We can read God's mind?  We know what He's likely to say, and to whom He's likely to speak, and what His ulterior motive is for what He says to them?  If He says only things we want Him to say, then we have created God in our own image.

Read the Bible.  That God ain't necessarily nice, doesn't always play fair.

--------------------------

I've been playing "Every Word" on the Kindle.  I'm not good at it, but I figure it's good for me.  They give you a bunch of letters, and you have to find all the words that can be created from those letters to rack up points, and at least one word that uses all the letters to proceed to the next level.

Yesterday I was given W S T O G H R  on level six (of ten).  I had to find 34 words of 4 letters or more, including one using all seven letters.  (The program, by the way, doesn't accept proper nouns or abbreviations (a lie!  It accepts things like "prof" and "ref") or a a lot of other perfectly good words.  There's this "list".  So if you find more than 34 total, some of them weren't on the "accepted" list.)

Anyway, try it.  

I worked at it forever, handed it to Daughter, and she got the seven-letter word almost instantly.

Um, no, I don't remember what it was.  Sorry.  Take a whack at it in the comments.  (I'll bet Becs gets it first.)
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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

3540 Good enough

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life.

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A while ago I wrote about "good enough", and how Jay would get trapped in tweaking projects looking for perfection.   Lifehacker recently posted a simple solution to the problem, a way to avoid the trap. 

Before you even start the project, simply first define what constitutes "finished", what Lifehacker describes as the "definition of done". (The term comes from a software development strategy called Scrum, but it can be applied to almost any situation.  See What Can Software Developers Teach us About Crushing the ‘Perfection Bug’?.)

You make a list of all the criteria the project must meet to be considered done.  The criteria should be measurable.  When it meets those criteria, it's done.  Period.  You can stop tweaking.

In software development, you are handed a list of requirements and specifications.  If compactness, elegance, and performance are part of the requirements, they should be listed.  To landscape your front garden, decide up front what effect you want to accomplish.   Planning a party?  Define what you want to happen.  Note that the list is not simply a shopping list.  It's effects you MUST accomplish, and it should be a minimum list.

Perfectionists will continue to add specifications, expanding the list as the project proceeds.  You can't do that.  Spend enough time on the definition of "done" up front, and then resist the urge to add to it.  When it's done, it's done.  Good enough is good enough.

Jay's problem was an emotional and psychological fear of never being good enough.  I blame his father for that.  J Senior demanded nothing less than absolute perfection, and perfection was defined as "the way *I* would have done it".  If the child Jay didn't do things perfectly, his father pointed out all the flaws, and took over the project himself.  He had the attitude that if it wasn't exactly the way he himself would have done it, exactly the decisions he would have made, then it was "stupid", and he used that exact word.  I heard him say "That's stupid" to Jay a dozen times before I told him that if he ever again implied that my husband was stupid, I'd feed him a list of all the stupid things he says and does, "starting with your haircut and what you feed your dog!  It's no damn wonder she has a heart problem!"  He never did it again, but I could see him biting his tongue as he glanced at me.

If it meets "done" criteria, and if the criteria are good, then it is done and good enough.
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Monday, May 28, 2012

3539 Stress

Monday, May 28, 2012

"Knowing how to think empowers you far beyond those who know only what to think."
--  Neil deGrasse Tyson --

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Clarifying  the previous post - the guy has not had reassignment surgery.  He's just wearing women's clothes now, and "being" a woman.  He is 100% male physically, and it all works.  He never felt that he was actually female.  It's just that in addition to all the maleness, functional testes and penis and attraction to women, he also has ovaries.  Just stray accidental ovaries floating around in there, nothing else.  (It could be worse - there are people with entire stunted twins inside them.)  Anyway, the estrogen from the ovaries causes some feminizing effects.  Since discovering the existence of the ovaries, he has decided he's "actually" a woman.

Huh?  "Actually?"  I know a guy who has four thumbs, twelve fingers.  Is he "actually" alien? 

If he had the ovaries removed, he'd be the husband and father, the MAN, he thought he was, and was quite happy being, before he discovered the ovaries.  I think he's incredibly stupid, and he's getting very bad medical and psychological advice.

------------------------------

This month has disappeared so quickly.  Poof. That saddens me.  It seems that the older you get, the faster time passes.  I don't know whether it's because you get so much less done, or that over your shoulder you see a shadow catching up.  On the other hand, I don't want to get as much done as I used to.  It's time to slow down and watch the butterflies.

I've been thinking about stress, and the effect it has on health.  There's a lot more stress here than at the country house.  Not like there's stuff poking at me, it's just an atmosphere.  Days are a lot less relaxed.  It's like things are going on all the time.  There's no pause, no pause in time.  The air is dirtier.  There's an undercoat of noise.  It feels like there's more demand on me, even though no person is demanding.  And I feel like bits and pieces of my body are giving up.

The Man has been experiencing  a lot of stress, and it shows.  Nothing I can do about that, except not to add more.

Jasper doesn't seem to be more stressed.  I'm gone two or three days a week, but although that would badly distress a dog, I don't think a cat is stressed by that.  Oh, it's obvious he missed me, but that's not the same as stress.

Dogs are pack animals.  Their humans are their pack.  The most damaging thing you can do to a lone dog is to ostracize them from the pack, either tied outside, shut out of the room, or confined to a cage.  They need a pack, and they need to be with the pack, no matter what their status within the pack. 

Cats are just the opposite.  Most domestic cats come from lone-hunter stock.  They seem to like being alone, and if they don't have a lot of other stimulus, they will chose the company of one other animal or human.  (If they do have a lot of stimulus, humans become mere can openers.)  Usually a cat in a family will chose ONE of the humans to be his or her special human.  Cats don't jockey for status.  They assume their status is high, because there is no pack.  There are articles on what stresses a cat, but the articles address sudden changes, like how to handle moves, new people or pets, or schedule changes.  What about constant low level stress?

At the country house, Jasper saw birds and squirrels on the deck.  Here, he also sees other cats in the yard and on the patio, and at first it scared him so badly he pulled the curtains down.  Is that a temporary freakout, or a constant source of stress?  Can that be why whenever he is downstairs, he stays close to me?  He was more independent in the country.

I wonder if anyone has done a study on the comparative health of dogs secure within their pack (human or canine family) and dogs who are constantly stressed by being shut away from the pack.  I wonder if there have been any studies on the comparative health of cats who are the only pet, and those who don't get "alone time". (I'm thinking of those retirement homes for cats, that are supposed to be such wonderful places, but I wonder if it's actually stressing to cats who had until "retirement" always had alone-time when they wanted it.  Domestic cats are not herd animals.)

Theories?
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Saturday, May 26, 2012

3538 I'm actually a MAN! Apparently a gay man....

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Female spiders eat the males after mating because collecting
life insurance is easier than collecting child support.

----------------------------------------------

The kids left for Pennsylvania this morning, to visit Hercules' folks.  Returning late tomorrow.

The temperature was 75 F at 9:30 this morning, but it's very sunny and humid, so it feels hotter.  Supposed to get into the 80s.  I've finally turned the A/C on.

I've got a van to unload, bookcases to assemble, acres of laundry piles, and a drift of paper and photographs to sort and file, so I'll appreciate the uninterrupted alone time.  Naturally, I've brought papers down from the country house, but but not yet the file cabinets. I'm using those brown accordion folders.

I found a large box of vacation photos in the country house den closet.  Not MY vacations - Jay and his ex-wife's vacations.  I started to throw them away, and then reconsidered.  I know where she lives.  So on my way back, I stopped at her house in the village and dropped them off with her boyfriend.  I'm glad she wasn't home, because I really didn't want to talk with her, but I do feel virtuous about giving her the photos. (Even though when she and Jay split, she took every photo she could find, and Jay had to beg for some of the negatives.  Yeah, residual bitterness.  She knew they were important to him and it did crush him.  He was a shutterbug.)

----------------------------------

Google "Steve Crecelius".  Stories all over the internet about him/her.  I guess there's a dearth of real news.  Or maybe it's just that sensationalism sells advertising.  When I read the first story (Yahoo front page), it annoyed me so much I searched around to find a REAL story that didn't appeal to the ignorant.  Doesn't exist.

He was in his forties, I think, father of six children, and discovered from a kidney ultrasound five years ago that he had ovaries, in addition to the usual male equipment.  The headlines say he discovered he's actually a woman!.

Um, no.  He's a man who also has ovaries and therefore estrogen, in addition to the testes and testosterone.  There's no uterus or vagina, although the estrogen did cause small breasts.  Otherwise he has all the usual secondary male sexual characteristics, like a beard, and he's attracted to women. 

But he has decided he's actually a woman!, since as a child he enjoyed playing with his mother's makeup (lots of little boys do), likes dresses, and he "walks like a girl".  Um, a girl walks like a girl because she has wider hips, and has been culturally conditioned to walk that way.  You, Steve/Stevie, do not have a girl's hips, you are still not a girl.  You just have some extraneous ovaries kicking out estrogen that confuses your head.  Let's not forget that the testes and everything that goes with them works just fine.  If you're confused, have the ovaries removed.  You obviously don't need them.

His wife took him shopping for his first bra.  (Another forehead dent in my desk.)  Steve, you've gone all your life without a bra.  You don't need one now.   Even REAL women don't need bras to be women.

The male/female classifications are not black and white.  100% male and 100% female are extreme ends of a spectrum.  There are many gradations, many combinations of accoutrements, and many physical and hormonal reasons for them.  Something like 1 in 10 babies are born somewhere on that scale other than the extremes (probably more, it's just not immediately obvious).  Wikipedia has a good article on it (intersex).  Most people fall somewhere close to one end or the other.  I for example, are high in androgens, and have what is medically termed clitoral hypertrophy (clitoromegaly), although not freakishly so, nothing to write home about.  I'm just well beyond the norms.   But there's never been any question that I'm completely female.

Until now!

Oh my God!  I mostly don't wear makeup, I've never liked makeup, wear it out socially only because it's expected and a sexual advantage in attracting male attention.  I don't especially like dresses and skirts, prefer pants, but wear "feminine" things, again because it's expected and a sexual lure.  I really do like attracting men.  But ... Holy Crap!  According to Steve/Stevie's logic, I'm actually a man!

So stop calling me Silk.  I'm really Sylvester.

(Heh.  I can't wait until Steve hits menopause and the estrogen wanes.  How silly is he going to feel then?)

--------------------------------

Yeah, I know that there are men who go through sexual reassignment surgery to become women, but are still attracted to women.  Yeah, I know it's all mixed up, both physical manifestations and psychological.  But Steve's case is different, in my opinion, in that he never "felt like a woman trapped in a man's body".  Never felt homosexual.  He just had a slightly feminizing influence from more estrogen than is usual in males. 
.

Friday, May 25, 2012

3537 Hair! The solution!

Friday, May 25, 2012

The underwire in a woman’s bra deflected a bullet. It also lifted, separated, defined and supported.  Her terrified thong tried to hide and was almost impossible to remove from the scene.

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Hair saga:   When my hair was long, it was easy.  I just trimmed the ends, and for bangs I'd grab a hank, hold it straight up and make one cut, automatic taper.  Done.  I'd been doing that all my life, because when my mother was in charge of my hair, I'd never had a salon cut that didn't leave me crying.

Eighteen months ago I decided to go short.  I tried salons again, thinking that hey, I'm adult, I'm in charge now.  They pretty much did what they wanted to do, not what I wanted, no matter what I said, and I wasn't happy. 

I tried cutting it myself, and it took forever, with much twisting and swearing.  The top and sides were ok, but I simply can't wield scissors with my left hand while looking at the back of my head in the mirror.  I tried using clippers on the back, but blending where it meets the upper back was hit or miss, and it's too difficult to get it the right length anyway.

I'd finally get it sort of right over a period of several days or weeks, snipping hither and yon, constantly with itchy bits of hair all over me, the bathroom sinks, and the floors.  And then when it finally looked good, within a week it was too long again and time to do it all over again.  It was choppy from my hacking, so to go to a salon and say "cut it just like this, but shorter" would be asking for trouble.  They'd try to "fix it" and guess wrong.

I've been moaning over it.  It was now about a half inch too long to be manageable.  Sigh.  Here we go again.

I went to the country house (I'm not calling them the old and the new house any more; they are now officially "the country house" and "the city house") this past week and found the solution to all my hair problems in the back of the coat closet.

In about the mid-'90s, we had tried a haircutting thingy for Jay's hair that attaches to the vacuum cleaner.  It sucks the hair into a tube where there's rotating blades, and the clippings go into the vacuum cleaner.  (There are three versions on the internet.  I won't recommend any particular one because they all have advantages and disadvantages, but I will say that the RoboCut and clones is infinitely adjustable for various lengths, where the Flowbee and clones has multiple set lengths, which is important to know if you want a smooth taper.)  It didn't really work on Jay's hair because he had strange thin spots on the back of his head where the hair had to be cut slightly longer to cover them, so it got packed up and stored in the closet. (My hair was very long then, so I wasn't cutting mine.)

I brought it down to the city house, and this evening I tried it.  It works!  I LOVE my cut!  It's perfect!  It took less than 10 minutes, there's no itchy bits on me or on the floor, and it's done.  Done done done.  And so what if it needs another trim in a week or two?  It took less than 10 minutes!  I can give myself a quick trim before going out for dinner.

I had to sketch out the lengths I wanted.  I measured the hair all over my head and made a chart marking the length all over.  Like a sketch from the front and the side, with the hair sticking out light-socket-wise.  I decided to play it safe and take off only a half inch all over.  It's always easier to go shorter if that's not enough.  I started at the top, set the tube to to 3.5 inches, then graduated to 3.0 upper back, 2.0 from the top of my ear around to the other ear, and taper down to 1.5 below that.  If you scrub the tube up and down a bit, it blends nicely.

And believe it or not, both sides of my head are now the same length!  I've never been able to do that by hand.

My only sadness now is that I was afraid to do it before The Man visited.  I cut it about six hours after he'd left.  Too bad.  But at least I can easily maintain this.
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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

3536 Kitchen flooring

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Wildlife officials say cougars are expanding into the central U.S.
Residents are advised to lock up their teenage sons.

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Writing about bathroom sinks reminded me about the current trend in kitchen floors.

People want stone, tile, or a stained waxed cement floor in the kitchen (which is more visually attractive than it sounds).  That's what's "in".

Duh?  Why?

People in the kitchen are standing 90%+ of the time.  One rarely sits in the work areas in the kitchen.  You're on your feet.  Also, fragile things get dropped.  So why on earth would you want a rock-hard floor?

So many of the big box stores have polished cement floors, and I actually suffer if I have to wander around them too long.  I go in with a list and go directly to what I want by the most direct route, and get out.  They might sell a lot more casual purchases if the floors were kinder.

A proper floor for the kitchen is resilient.  It has some amount of gentle give.  Like poly-sealed wood, or a resilient tile or sheet goods over wood.  Those industrial-looking rubber tiles are a good idea for the feet, legs, and back, but the raised plug surface texture they all have makes them a bit hard to clean. (And why do they seem to come only in gray?)

In the '70s there was a brief spate of carpeted kitchen floors.  That didn't last long for obvious reasons.  What were designers thinking?

The kitchen floor in the new house is matte ceramic tile.  I don't like it.  It's hard and cold and unforgiving.
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3535 More stuff I don't understand

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Sometimes one person's inability to understand looks like another person's inability to explain.
-- Dilbert --

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I don't understand English.  I suspected I didn't understand, but I didn't know how completely I didn't understand until I took the ESL (English as a second language) teacher training.  For example:
changer
hanger
anger
Angie
Why are they all pronounced differently?  What makes the "g" and "a" different?

I don't understand.

I do understand why the Québécois insist on speaking French.  At least there is consistency in pronunciation.  There are rules!

Speaking of pronunciation, I watched a video yesterday, a kid demonstrating how to do something.  Every other sentence started with, "Ima".  Like "Ima put this in the bowl, then Ima mix in the powder, then Ima add some water."  It took me a few minutes to realize that he was saying "I'm going to" (I think...).  

It's no damn wonder English is so difficult.  We don't even speak it any more.

--------------------------

I have a plan of attack. 

I'm going to make an appointment with a specialist in blood vessels, and find out about why it hurts so badly when anyone messes with my veins, why they blow out and shut down, whether there is some way to make it easier to have blood drawn and to get contrast dyes, and get some details about my "fragile capillaries" and exactly how dangerous it would be to have the kidney stone zapped. 

Then I can maybe make some educated decisions on what to do next.

---------------------------

I don't understand the fascination with pedestal sinks in the bathroom.  They're like granite counter tops.  You ain't got a high class house without 'em.

Why?

Granite (or any stone) counter tops don't make sense because they stain unless you constantly reseal them, are high maintenance, and their density is unforgiving if you set a piece of fine china down a bit too hard.

Likewise, pedestal sinks make no sense whatsoever.  There's no room on top to set anything down.  That was ok when bathrooms were huge - usually because in the dawn of indoor bathrooms, they were converted spare bedrooms.  There was plenty of space for cabinets and counters next to the sink. 

Somewhere a long time ago, as bathrooms became designed into new houses and therefore became smaller, someone looked back and forth between the pedestal sink and the cabinet that had to be also in the room for storing or setting things down, like the toilet paper, shaving items, tooth brushes and toothpaste, soap dish, drinking glass, combs, blah blah, for which there was no room at the sink, and said, "hey, let's combine them!  Let's cut a hole in the cabinet top, set the sink in, and then we'll have lots of convenient space to set the things we use at the sink!"

Brilliant!  Like sliced bread!

Now middle-class bathrooms are tiny, and people want to stick a pedestal sink in a tiny room that has no space for a separate counter or cabinet - simply because pedestal sinks are fashionable. 

It makes no sense to me.  Hell, I want the biggest sink cabinet and countertop I can get!
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Monday, May 21, 2012

3534 Baby birds

Monday, May 21, 2012

The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.
-- Alexander Penney --

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I've raised a few baby birds.


General Guidelines:

Wildlife rehab folks might have better info.  This is just my experience with a few baby birds; it worked for the birdies and me, and that's good enough.

The chick has to be kept warm.  If it's very young, tuck it into your bra or shirt pocket until you can get the nest set up.

Get a wide basket (best) or a bowl with straight sides no more than 1.5 inches high, and put some soft material in it.  Thick material if the sides are too high.  Tissues work fine, a piece of cotton flannel or wool cloth is best.  Don't use terrycloth because their claws get caught in it.  Put a heating pad set to low heat on a counter in a room you can close off, like a half-bath you're willing to give up for a while, and place the basket half on and half off the heating pad, so that the chick can select its own comfort zone.  You don't want to accidentally cook him.  A sheet of newspaper between the basket and the heating pad keeps things clean.

No matter what the adult birds eat, all songbirds feed their chicks bugs, grubs, and worms, because the babies need more protein than seed provides, and the babies can't yet grind up and digest seeds.  (The exceptions are pigeons, doves, and flamingos, who feed their chicks crop milk.) So go to a large pet pet shop, the kind that sells reptiles, amphibians, and fish, and buy a small rectangular plastic cage with a top with small holes in it, like you would use to keep insects or a mouse, and a handful of live mealworms to put in it with a bit of coarse yellow corn meal or oatmeal, and a slice of apple.  If the mealworms come in sizes, get the smaller skinnier ones.

Now feed the chick the mealy worms with tweezers.  The first time he may not recognize that it's a feeding, but rubbing the worm on his beak should get the idea across.  I squashed the head of the worms before offering them, because sometimes the lives ones will crawl out of the chick's mouth.   If it's a very small chick and very large worms, cut the worms in half or thirds.  Feed as often as you can.  When the chick is full, he won't open his mouth.  When he's ready for more, the mouth will be wide open.  If he's fed enough during daylight hours, night feedings are not necessary.  The mealworms in the cage will turn into beetles that mate and lay eggs, so if you bought enough to start with, your worm farm will provide a constant supply.

The chicks mostly get sufficient liquids from their food, but since we're not feeding as varied a diet as the parents would, once a day ONE TINY DROP of water from an eye dropper won't kill him.

In the wildlife videos, you often see (especially with vultures and condors) the caregivers using puppets to feed, so the chicks don't  "imprint on humans".  That doesn't seem to be a problem with songbirds.  The birds I've raised seem to know they're birds, know their breed, seem to learn their songs, become good parents, and stay wary of all other humans except me.  All on their own.

Poopy is easy.  When he has to go, the birdy will back up to the edge of the nest and poop over the edge.  That's why the sides of the basket should be low.  The poopy will be in a neat membranous bag with a convenient tag which you can pick up with tweezers and dispose of.

Eventually the birdy will grow real feathers, and start venturing out of the nest.  He'll flap and test his wings.  You can hold his toes as he sits on your finger and move your hand up and down so he gets the feeling of air under his wings (a breeze would do that in the wild, but there's no breeze in your bathroom).  Put some little branches in a flower pot a short distance from the nest to encourage him to venture out on his own.

If you can identify his breed, find out what the adults eat, and put a bowl of it nearby.  If he's a seed eater, he'll instinctively recognize it and try it when he's ready.  He'll also need some bird gravel to grind the seed in his crop.  If he's a bug eater, offer mealworms in a bowl.  If you don't know, offer both and he'll figure it out.  Offer a bowl of water, too.

The hard part is when he starts flying.  He'll perch everywhere and poop everywhere.  The window and shower curtain rods are favorite places.  I just took the curtains down for the nonce.   Pretty soon the birdy is ready for a bird cage, mainly for your own poop sanity.  You can let him out for practice flying sessions.  He'll be happy to fly from your finger to someplace high and back again.

When he's pretty confident flying, you can introduce him to outdoors. 

With my first baby bird, a robin, I simply opened the bathroom window.  She'd fly out and back in again, go into the cage to eat, then back out again.  It got to where she'd be gone all day, and then return to the cage (window and cage door left open) in the evening.  Then it was out overnight a time or two, and then she didn't return.  The rest of the story is below.

With the second bird, I wanted my bathroom back, so when he was ready for outside, he got transferred to the deck in the cage.  He'd fly from my finger around the back yard, and back to my finger.  Then I started just leaving the cage open all day.  He'd be gone all day, maybe come to sit on my finger if he saw me on the deck, then returning on his own to the cage at night, and I'd close the cage until morning so he'd be safe.  One day he brought a female back with him.  The two of them ate in the cage, then spent the night on the deck railing.  Eventually he stopped coming back.  The rest of the story is below.

--------------------------------

My Experience

The first was a robin that had fallen out of a nest and was picked up and taken home by some neighborhood children.   Usually when a chick falls out of a nest, the best thing to do is to put the chick back in the nest if you can (it's a myth that the parents will abandon a chick with human scent on it), or fasten a basket or something to the trunk of the tree as high as you can.  The adults will find the chick and care for it.  But in this case, the children couldn't remember where they'd found it.  The children's mother didn't know what to do with the chick.

The chick had some feathers started on her wings, but was still fluffy on her head and underside. It wouldn't be too long before she'd have been out of the nest anyway, so I volunteered to try raising it.  This was in the early '80s.  No internet.  I made things up as I went along.  (I say "she", but at the time I wasn't sure.  When she left she had the adolescent robin speckled breast, which could have been male or female.)

That was the robin mentioned above.

I mourned a bit when she finally didn't come back.  I hoped nothing had happened to her.  There was no sign of her for the rest of that summer, fall, or winter.

The next spring, a pair of robins built a nest in the tree just outside the bathroom window.  I'd never had robins nest in my backyard before then.

I was in the bathroom one day, and the mother robin landed on the windowsill and peered in the window.  I opened the window, and she flew away.  I left the window open, and she flew into the bathroom.  She flew out again when I went into the bathroom.

Yeah, I think it was her.

Although she wasn't "friendly", for the next four years there was a robin family in that tree, just outside the window, and eventually several more nests in other nearby trees.  Her children, grandchilden, and great-grandchildren, I like to think.  Like she told them, "This is a safe place."

-----------------------------

The second bird (and several subsequent) was a cowbird.  I have learned not to mention that I raised cowbirds.  People often get very angry at me.  A lot of people consider cowbirds evil, because they lay their eggs in other smaller birds' nests and then abandon them.  The cowbird chick hatches first, and pushes the other eggs or smaller chicks out of the nest to their doom and hogs the attentions of the much smaller foster parents.  Many people are disgusted with me, like I was turning Tasmanian Devils loose in the neighborhood.

The way I figure it, God didn't make any evil animals.  Even cowbirds have their reasons for being, their defined place in Nature.  Just because we don't like it doesn't make it evil.  Plus, they are native to this continent.  They have a right to exist.

When I married Jay, there was a pair of warblers who nested on the porch light every year.  I had a mirror on a stick, and liked to look in the nest every so often.  One day I saw a larger very different egg in there along with the original warbler four, and I knew immediately what it was.  I took it out and hatched it in a dish towel tied around my waist.  I named him "Birdie".  Yeah, I'm not very good at naming animals.

He was quite different from the robin in the way he related to me, probably because the robin had been raised to early adolescence by birds, but Birdie had never known any parent but me.  Plus, cowbirds are very adaptable by nature.  No matter what species raises them, they know they are cowbirds.

I swear the damn bird loved me.  He was so very intelligent, too.

He's the one who camped in the cage on the deck, and brought his first girlfriend home to his "pad" for dinner and to introduce her to his mom. He always came when called.  I'd hold my finger out and call "Birdie, Birdie", and if he was within sound of my voice he'd come to my finger.

I had a lot of affection for him.  I told Jay it was just like raising a child, but birth to leaving home was condensed into one spring and summer.  His first solid food, his first steps (flying), his first drive alone in the car (flying outside), his first girlfriend, his first overnight away from home, and then leaving for college.  I worried about him just like a  mother.

He visited often even into the fall.  I'd be standing on the deck (cigarette), and he'd arrive from nowhere and land on my head or shoulder and hop onto my finger.  Gradually visits became farther and farther apart.  Cowbirds feed in flocks, so I figured he'd joined a flock (my child in a gang!?) and was traveling with them  (visions of a motorcycle gang, Hell's Cowbirds!)  And then finally in late fall, I saw him no more.

The next summer, mid-summer, I was on the deck one day, and a cowbird landed on the railing.  He peered at me sideways, and sidled closer cautiously.  I said, "Birdie?" and held out my finger, and he jumped up and down, chirped excitedly, and flew to my finger.  Later a full flock of cowbirds visited the back yard, but there wasn't much for them to eat there compared to the pastures below the ridge, and the crows living in the woods next door objected, so they didn't stay long.  I figure that was "take Mom to the office picnic" day.

Pretty damn cool.

That was the last time I saw him.  I'm sure he's ok, just moved on to farther fields.

I continued to check the warblers' nest spring and late summer (they often raised two broods a year there), and about every other spring I found a cowbird egg, which I hatched and raised, with pretty much the same results as with Birdie.  When Jay got sick I put wire over the lights so the warblers would have to move, because I didn't know what I'd do if I found another cowbird egg.  Jay needed all my attention.  After he died I took the wire down, and the warblers came back, but I never found another strange egg to adopt.
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Sunday, May 20, 2012

3533 Old house, wagon, motherhood

Sunday, May 20, 2012

The best helping hand that you will ever receive is the one at the end of your own arm.
-- Fred Dehner --

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Back on 5/7 I said I had several days to catch up on, and then I didn't.  Let's test my memory.

Aborted trips

Week before last, 5/9, I went upriver to the old house with plans to bring some boxes and smaller furniture down.  Traffic was heavy because of roadwork and the trip took three hours.  I got there at 11 pm, desperate for the bathroom, and that's when I discovered I had forgotten to bring the house key.  It's countryside and small village.  Everything is closed by 9 PM.  The nearest public bathroom is 10 miles away across the river.

I shrugged and piddled on the driveway in the light of the van door.  I always wanted to do that....

Then I drove to the Wal-Mart and bought a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a nightgown, and got a room at a little motel near the Throughway.  It's the cheapest motel in the area, at $67 a night, but I had read very good reviews a few months ago.  It turned out to be simple, basic, in good repair, very clean, and remarkably quiet considering its proximity to the Throughway.  The next morning I drove back home.

That was depressing.  I now have a note on my front door listing all the things NOT to forget when I head upriver.

Last week, 5/15, I planned to try again.  Tuesday afternoon I took a load of cardboard and paper to the recycle center (yeah, we have twice a month pickup, but I'm rarely home on those days).  It began raining while I was unloading the van, and I noticed what looked like oil floating on the water running from under Fred.  He's now 10 years old, and he does sometimes spring leaks.  I planned to drive him upriver that evening.  It didn't seem like a good idea until I found out what was leaking, but ... I couldn't put the trip off because I had arranged to have the old house furnace serviced the next day, Wednesday.  Rescheduling (again!) is difficult.

So I drove the BMW north.  Hal, the one with the tiny leather back seat and the tiny trunk.   I wasn't able to bring back anything but one armload of clothes and two small boxes.

Another disappointing trip.

Since then I've had an amazing amount of energy.  I've assembled the Nugget's birthday wagon (steel Radio Flyer with all-terrain wheels and wood guard rails, whoop whoop!).  She loves riding in it, but it requires two adults, one to pull and one to walk alongside to make sure she doesn't try to climb out.   We've gone for a few walks with it.  I assembled a bunch of Ikea bookcases (they had a sale).  I cleaned, washed dishes (the dishwasher in the new house died on its 18-month birthday), sorted shoes, changed sheets, did some laundry, and pulled together a bunch of stuff to donate.  Today, when her mother wasn't looking, I taught the Nugget how to drink from a hose.

-----------------------------------


More cheap books!

Amazon has a "Kindle Daily Deal", providing one heavily discounted book on a daily basis.  It's at http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kin_post_os_08242011_DailyDeal?&docId=1000677541.  You can subscribe to daily notices on the right of that screen.  You may have to change your Amazon account email notices to accept Kindle subscriptions.

I seems to take about two days to kick in, but then you get an email every morning with the day's bargain. I've got only two notices so far, and neither were books I was interested in, so I can't comment on the quality of the offerings.

------------------------------------

Why polls are bullpoopy

This one was on the radio during my drive upriver last week.  Somebody polled random people in the Albany area about fracking.
Approve = 37%
Oppose = 36%
No opinion = 27%
Have heard about fracking = 66%

Do the math.  7% of the people had an opinion on a topic they admit they'd never heard of.  (I was surprised that the news reader didn't remark on the discrepancy.)

-----------------------------------

Major dose of tender adoration

Orangutan mother with six-week-old infant.  Kisses and coochey-coos.

[http://youtu.be/nastRZIPRKM]
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Sunday, May 13, 2012

3532 You don't know you're 1/8 anything. Stop it.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The art of life is to show your hand.
-- E. V. Lucas --

--------------------------------------------------------------

Some woman somewhere running for some office or something has come under fire because her opponents claim that in applications she had claimed mixed heritage and used a university's diversity goals to achieve her position, and it is now discovered that her claimed mixed heritage consists of 1/32 Cherokee.

Bullpoopy.  You can't claim any genetic heritage less than 1/2 without a DNA test, and anyway, it's possible to be more culturally Cherokee than a full-blooded Cherokee, without having a single Cherokee gene.

Let's establish some definitions and ground rules.  Even 100% heritage is questionable, but let's grant that it does exist.  Most people confuse race and culture anyway.  Let's pretend that they're both valid classifications for various arguments, and for this argument I'll use common claims, not technical racial classifications.

So, let's assume someone who is 100% (let's call that 1/1) Cherokee has a baby with someone who is 1/1 European/Caucasian.  We can validly say that the baby is 1/2 Cherokee and 1/2 European/Caucasian, because half of its genes are pure Cherokee and half are pure Caucasian. (But if the child is raised Cherokee, does the proportion of genetic material matter?  Couldn't we say the child is culturally Cherokee, no matter what the genetic makeup?)

After that point, genetically speaking, all bets are off.  Because subsequent generations get a random mix of genes from the mother and father, the combination of 1/2 Cherokee/Caucasian and 1/2 Cherokee/Caucasian can produce offspring who can be genetically 1/1 Cherokee or 1/1 Caucasian, or any fraction between.  It just depends on what genes they happened to get.  The next generation is even more emulsified.  That's how white couples have black babies, and black couples have white babies.  Random combinations of available genes.

So anyone who says "I'm 1/4 German, 1/4 Welsh, 1/8 Polish, 1/8 Native American, 1/8 ..." is full of crap.  Without a DNA test you don't really know.  It's more accurate to just say, "I had a Cherokee great-great-grandmother, a Welsh great-grandmother, ...."  That at least is probably true.

So the woman who got her job at a university because she was 1/32 Native American?  The university should be ashamed. They should know better.  (So should she, unless she is at least 1/32 culturally Cherokee.  How do you measure that?  By counting and classifying her recipes and food preferences?)
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3531 Marriage or civil union?

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Hold a true friend with both hands.
-- Nigerian Proverb --

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I don't understand the fuss.  I really don't because the difference between them is just the words.  If (and that's a big if - of course it should) civil union grants all the same rights and privileges as marriage, then what's the fuss?  I don't get it.

The only difference between civil union and marriage is involvement of religion. 
Marriage is actually a religious thing which has been accepted as a legal thing. 
Civil union is a legal thing without necessarily the involvement in or approval of religion. 
Otherwise there is no difference.  It's just the word used.

My first two marriages were in churches.  The first would have been accepted by everyone as marriage.  The second one was not accepted as marriage by Ex#2's church because I was a divorcee.  So were we married?  As far as the government was concerned, yes, because of the legal aspect.  As far as his religion was concerned, no, and only because of the religious aspect. 

The third was by all definitions a civil union.  Jay and I swore fidelity and signed some papers (a contract!) in a judge's office.  So were Jay and I married?  I say no, not by the religious definition of marriage.  It was a civil union, and only a civil union!  It granted all the rights, responsibilities, and benefits of religious marriage, but it was purely a civil union!  It was a contract we entered into.

However, anyone in a civil union can by convention call themselves married.

So what's the fuss, and why are folks rejecting civil union and demanding marriage?

Insisting that "marriage" is between and man and a woman, only, is injecting religion into civil contracts.  I thought our constitution prohibited that.

I really don't understand all the fuss.  Anyone "joined" by a judge or JP is already in a civil union.  Why are people so hung up on the words?  It's just a word!
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3530 Urology update

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose.
-- Heda Bejar --

----------------------------------------------

Wow.  Several days to catch up on.  This being my diary to help my failing memory (damn Versed!) I have to be careful not to leave large blank swaths of time.

Tuesday of last week I had an appointment with the urologist.  Frustrating.  He'd received the results of my latest kidney ultrasound.  He was looking for cysts.  They didn't find any.  They didn't find any in the February ultrasound, either.  Or in any of the CT scans.  Now he wants some kind of fancier kidney scan, with radioactive contrast.

I'm remembering the trauma I went through with the IVP last year, the IVP that was ultimately useless, which had I known what they were looking for, I could have told them it would be.  I absolutely don't want to go through that again.  No way.  So I asked the doctor if this was absolutely necessary, and he said yes.  When I pressed for why, he said because "the condition is progressing".  This conversation was in the hall as I was on the way out and he was heading to the next patient. 

Progressing?  Every test has been the same!  They've all said exactly the same thing since last year at this time.  Progressing?  How?  I'm beginning to think he's just malpractice-shy and is covering his tail with tests.

I'm afraid if I try another urologist (there's only one other locally, and he's just down the hall from this guy), he'll want to repeat everything.  I don't want that.

I'm ready to spit nails.
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