5072 Some exciting news

Monday, June 27, 2016

I am fully aware of all the things I don't know,

and those things seem more important than the things I do know.

-- Silk --

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had an MRI of the breasts today.  They were able to use my hand to infuse the contrast, so that was no problem at all.  The setup was kind of funny - I lay face-down on the table, with my breasts hanging through two holes in the surface.  I was quite comfortable.  I am seldom able to lie on my stomach, and I liked it.

Before we got started, I told the technician about my wonky left kidney, so we have to be cognizant that anything that goes into the lower chamber (my left kidney has two unconnected chambers and two ureters, and the lower one is blocked by a stone) may not be flushed out for a long time, so I would prefer not to use anything that might damage a kidney.  So he went off and talked to some doctor, and came back and did two things.

1.) They switched to another contrast that is gentle on kidneys, "It's the one we use for people with renal failure".  He told me the name, but of course I've forgotten it.  I asked him if it was as effective, does it give the same results, and he said yes, that the scans are exactly the same.  So I blinked twice, and asked "Then why don't you use that one all the time for everyone?"  He looked like I'd just voted for his favorite candidate, and said "Yeah.  That would make sense.  [shrug]  I don't know."

2.)  They took some blood, and ran it straight to the lab for renal function testing, and came back in minutes with the news that TA RAH my kidneys are not just working fine, they're working exceedingly well!  He told me what they tested for, what the ranges were, and what my numbers were, and of course I've forgotten (I didn't have a pen or paper in there to write anything down), but translating to a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is a healthy teenager and 10 is you'll be dead next week, I came in like 1.2.    What the...?!?!?!

Remember that kidney doctor who tortured me through 2011 and 2012?  The one who, when I asked why we were doing the same (often painful) tests over and over when the results were always the same, answered "Because it's progressing" and wouldn't say anything more?  Who scared me to death because kidney failure is relentlessly progressive, kidneys once damaged never heal but turn into a chain of dominoes?  Yeah, him?  Before I just didn't like him.  Now I'm furious with him.

I fired him because I had no trust or faith in him, and I figured if I was headed for dialysis anyway, I'd rather skip all this useless testing between now and then, since nothing was going to stop or slow it, so I may as well sit back comfortably in the meantime. 

Apparently it's not progressing.  And I guess all the things I've been doing to protect my kidneys, like restricting foods and supplements high in minerals and salts and drinking lots of water throughout the day, have been working. 

Maybe now I can even have a banana occasionally.  I miss bananas. 
.

4069 Bloody attack by a dragon!

Sunday, July 12, 2015

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; 

it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

--Sidney J. Harris--

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

I am trying to be very careful about caring for my 1.5 kidneys, drinking lots of water, watching carbs and protein, and avoiding excesses of minerals.

This morning, as usual, when I got up I went straight to the bathroom to piddle.

I was horrified to find the toilet full of blood!  Scared me half to death!

Then I remembered that the evening before I had eaten a half a dragon fruit, the red kind.  I went straight downstairs and looked it up on the internet.  Yeah, it's known to color your urine.

So, maybe the red was a good thing.  Maybe it shows my kidneys are doing their job.

--------------------------------------------

That was my first dragon fruit.  I'd heard people rave about them.  I dunno, maybe I got a stale one or something, 'cause it didn't taste like anything, very blah.  Less flavorful even than watermelon.  I ate only half because they have a lot of calcium and potassium, which I need to be careful of, so the other half is still sitting in the refrigerator.  

Ever try dragon fruit?  Did I get a flavorless one?  Or is this blahness a usual taste reaction? 

.

3768 Back

Saturday, September 28, 2013

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

--Anatole France--

-------------------------------------------------

A little over three weeks ago my back went out.  It's sort of ok now, finally, a bit touchy in the mornings, warning signals not to get fancy, ok by afternoon, but three weeks ago, for more than a week, I was hobbling around all bent over, with a walking stick to pull me upright, wearing the brace, afraid to carry a cup of tea from counter to table.

I've had that almost all my life.  It's a birth defect exacerbated by repeated trauma.  It's been worse.

Things are more complicated now, though.  The urologist I fired last January seemed to think I was careening headlong into full kidney failure.  He was so full of crap on so many other things I decided not to believe that, either.  But, uh, what if he was right for once?

It scares me a little that I can't tell the difference between pain in the kidneys and nerve pain from my lower back.  Actually, there IS no difference, since it's the same set of nerves screaming.  And there is such a thing as being in too much pain to go to the doctor, especially when there's a high probability it is just the pinched nerve and there's nothing they can do for it, except put me through more useless pain figuring that out.

I guess the only way I can be sure I'm not dying is that ... I'm getting better.
.

3619 Getting better

Friday, September 21, 2012

Most people who believe in Hell feel sure it is not their final destination.

Anyone who believes in Hell, I find, also believes in hateful ways of avoiding it.

Fear of Hell tends to make women into victims, men into bullies,

and everyone into line-toeing robots.

-- Gillian Kendall --

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I mentioned that I had refused another kidney test because I didn't think it was worth the pain and danger.  The battery of tests I'd had since the infection and attack in early 2011 all said the same thing.  The stone isn't growing, there are no anomalies, and the kidneys seem to be functioning. 

But there was more.  For the past few years my hair had been thinning, my fingernails had thick vertical (lengthwise) ridges and would split lengthwise along the ridges, and my blood pressure (historically so low I was ineligible to give blood) was too high (150s over low 80s).  I had assumed that was all due to aging.

Apparently not.

Since we stomped the kidney infection (which I now know I must have had for at least two years) my fingernails have strengthened, they're no longer splitting, and the ridges are slowly disappearing, my hair is thickening enough that I'm thinking of growing it long again, and my blood pressure is lower (120 to 128 over 67 to 73, not as low as it had been, but good enough for an old bat).  Even my toenails are celebrating.  The previously ingrown nail has flattened out.

In short, things look good.

The only bad part is that I've gained weight.  Back to measuring servings again, I guess, and ice cream or a donut only once a week.

--------------------------------


I post links every so often.  I suspect folks rarely follow them.  Please do go to this link.  I'm begging.  This is something politicians need to read.  Please pass it on.  It's short, an easy read, just a list.  Please do go.  Please pass it on.
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2005/09/03/being-poor/
.

3616 Proud

Sunday, September 16, 2012

The eternal pessimist: One who feels bad when he feels good for fear

that he’d feel worse if he felt better.

-- In The Misremembered Man, Christina McKenna --

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I am very proud of myself.

I still have a lingering fear of male anger, left over from my childhood.  It's not a problem when the male expressing anger has no control over me, or if the likelihood of my being beaten is low.  I can then give as good as I get and snarl back.  But as the potential for that male to injure me goes up, so does my fear, and I can turn into a quivering puppy.

I saw my urologist's anger in June of last year, when I questioned the wisdom of "blasting" the kidney stone when I have fragile capillaries.  He was furious.  He obviously doesn't like to be challenged.  I was frightened, because he has a lot of control over what happens to me.

I haven't seen him in six months.  At my last appointment, May 8, 2012, as I was heading out the door he wrote a scrip for another test.  This one involved an xray or scan or whatever with a radioactive contrast, another IV.  I tried to question him about the necessity, what were we looking for, but he was brusque and simply said, "The condition is progressing" and went in to the next patient.   He wanted to see me again in six months.

I didn't want to do that test.  Not after what I went through with the IVP.  I never want to go through that again, especially if it isn't necessary.  I've had a gazillion tests and xrays and CT scans and everything, and they all say the same thing - the stone isn't growing, my 1.5 kidneys are working fine, there are no lumps or cysts in them - what exactly is "progressing"?  And if he's so concerned about "progression", then why schedule my next appointment for six months away?

I decided not to go for that test.

Last Tuesday was that six-month appointment.  My hands were shaking and I couldn't stop them.  He looked through my file and asked why I hadn't got that test.  I told him I chose not to, because it would be extremely difficult and painful for me, that I understand that we do need to keep an eye on things, but that I felt we could do that with blood tests, ordinary xrays, and ultrasounds, and if those showed any indication of something to worry about, then we'd go further.

You have no idea how much courage that required.

(I didn't mention another concern - the second chamber in my left kidney isn't draining, so if we fill it with radioactive juice that won't be flushed out easily, um, isn't that a problem?  I was remembering the nurses telling me that even if Jay had been able to kill his tumor, the treatments would have damaged him so much, he wouldn't live much longer anyway.  I don't want to chance damaging the kidney further with tests.)

The urologist didn't get mad!  In fact, he seemed pleased and amused (as he was scribbling copious notes into my file).  There are a couple of ways to interpret his reaction, but I think I'll just take it and run.  The way I'd like to interpret it is that he worries about malpractice, and I just signaled that I'm unlikely to sue, and have given him a defense if I do.  (The other is that maybe he's relishing a future opportunity to say "I told you so.")  He made no effort to convince me that the test was necessary.

My next appointment with him is in January, and I'm to get a blood test and urinalysis between now and then.  That I can handle.
.

3567 Something's wrong

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Being good at taking tests won't get you very far in life.

----------------------------------------------

(Snork.  There are a lot of Mensans who need to read the green quote above.  More than a few seem to think that high scores alone should somehow get them acclaim - even though they have accomplished little else in their lives.  In fact, too many are a burden.)

I'm feeling a little like April 2 of 2011, when I ended up in a White Plains hospital for four days, with a nasty kidney. 

I've still got the stone in the left kidney.  It can't be zapped because of my fragile capillaries.  But a plethora of tests over the past year has said it isn't moving and hasn't grown.  That doesn't mean I can't throw another stone, though, or that the right kidney is immune.

I've got that "something's off" feeling.
[But that could be the heat and oppressive humidity.]

I've got a pain in my lower back, in pretty much the same place as in April 2011.
[But I often have pain in my lower back, that's normal.  And it does seem to be sensitive to posture, which in theory the kidney wouldn't be.]

I keep feeling like I have to piddle and poop, just like in April 2011.
[But I ate a quinoa mix late Thursday that's given me all kinds of problems ever since.  Probably the dried onions in it.  It's been pretty obvious that my body wants to get rid of every trace of it.  The flatulence has been incredible, like an enormous blast every 15 minutes yesterday.]

I don't have any blatant nausea or fever, but my stomach does feel off.  For one thing, it's hanging out and I can't hold it in.  I don't want anything around my waist - not even panty elastic.  It feels like there's a rock inside, just above the navel.  And I'm not interested in food.  I feel like I've got a lump in my throat and a tiny touch of acid reflux.
[Well, ice cream sounds good.  Maybe it IS the heat and humidity, and the remaining effects of the quinoa.]

I feel blah, and I'm hoping it has nothing to do with the kidney. I'm hoping it all goes away pretty soon.
.

3535 More stuff I don't understand

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Sometimes one person's inability to understand looks like another person's inability to explain.

-- Dilbert --

------------------------------------------------------------

I don't understand English.  I suspected I didn't understand, but I didn't know how completely I didn't understand until I took the ESL (English as a second language) teacher training.  For example:
changer
hanger
anger
Angie
Why are they all pronounced differently?  What makes the "g" and "a" different?

I don't understand.

I do understand why the Québécois insist on speaking French.  At least there is consistency in pronunciation.  There are rules!

Speaking of pronunciation, I watched a video yesterday, a kid demonstrating how to do something.  Every other sentence started with, "Ima".  Like "Ima put this in the bowl, then Ima mix in the powder, then Ima add some water."  It took me a few minutes to realize that he was saying "I'm going to" (I think...).  

It's no damn wonder English is so difficult.  We don't even speak it any more.

--------------------------

I have a plan of attack. 

I'm going to make an appointment with a specialist in blood vessels, and find out about why it hurts so badly when anyone messes with my veins, why they blow out and shut down, whether there is some way to make it easier to have blood drawn and to get contrast dyes, and get some details about my "fragile capillaries" and exactly how dangerous it would be to have the kidney stone zapped. 

Then I can maybe make some educated decisions on what to do next.

---------------------------

I don't understand the fascination with pedestal sinks in the bathroom.  They're like granite counter tops.  You ain't got a high class house without 'em.

Why?

Granite (or any stone) counter tops don't make sense because they stain unless you constantly reseal them, are high maintenance, and their density is unforgiving if you set a piece of fine china down a bit too hard.

Likewise, pedestal sinks make no sense whatsoever.  There's no room on top to set anything down.  That was ok when bathrooms were huge - usually because in the dawn of indoor bathrooms, they were converted spare bedrooms.  There was plenty of space for cabinets and counters next to the sink. 

Somewhere a long time ago, as bathrooms became designed into new houses and therefore became smaller, someone looked back and forth between the pedestal sink and the cabinet that had to be also in the room for storing or setting things down, like the toilet paper, shaving items, tooth brushes and toothpaste, soap dish, drinking glass, combs, blah blah, for which there was no room at the sink, and said, "hey, let's combine them!  Let's cut a hole in the cabinet top, set the sink in, and then we'll have lots of convenient space to set the things we use at the sink!"

Brilliant!  Like sliced bread!

Now middle-class bathrooms are tiny, and people want to stick a pedestal sink in a tiny room that has no space for a separate counter or cabinet - simply because pedestal sinks are fashionable. 

It makes no sense to me.  Hell, I want the biggest sink cabinet and countertop I can get!
.

3530 Urology update

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose.

-- Heda Bejar --

----------------------------------------------

Wow.  Several days to catch up on.  This being my diary to help my failing memory (damn Versed!) I have to be careful not to leave large blank swaths of time.

Tuesday of last week I had an appointment with the urologist.  Frustrating.  He'd received the results of my latest kidney ultrasound.  He was looking for cysts.  They didn't find any.  They didn't find any in the February ultrasound, either.  Or in any of the CT scans.  Now he wants some kind of fancier kidney scan, with radioactive contrast.

I'm remembering the trauma I went through with the IVP last year, the IVP that was ultimately useless, which had I known what they were looking for, I could have told them it would be.  I absolutely don't want to go through that again.  No way.  So I asked the doctor if this was absolutely necessary, and he said yes.  When I pressed for why, he said because "the condition is progressing".  This conversation was in the hall as I was on the way out and he was heading to the next patient. 

Progressing?  Every test has been the same!  They've all said exactly the same thing since last year at this time.  Progressing?  How?  I'm beginning to think he's just malpractice-shy and is covering his tail with tests.

I'm afraid if I try another urologist (there's only one other locally, and he's just down the hall from this guy), he'll want to repeat everything.  I don't want that.

I'm ready to spit nails.
.

3488 Catching up on medical

Friday, March 16, 2012

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

----------------------------------------------------

I was trying to remember when I had the last urine culture, and realized that this journal is where I go to quickly find out when I did what, and I haven't been putting stuff in here.

So, to catch up. In the past month I've had a urine culture (but the doctor doesn't seem to have received the results, and that's why I was trying to remember the date), a blood panel which showed good kidney function and within-limits blood glucose, an abdominal x-ray that shows the same stone in the same position and it hasn't grown, ultrasound of the kidneys which looked good except that it showed mild hydronephrosis on the right and moderate hydronephosis on the left.

Hydronephrosis is kind of like an enlargement or swelling caused by urine having been retained in the kidneys. It's not a very serious thing in itself, but may indicate another problem.

So last Tuesday I had a spiral CT scan of the abdomen, NO contrast, thank you. My next urologist appointment is April 7.

3456 Jasper says, "Eat more cat food!"

Saturday, February 4, 2012

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.
--Sinclair Lewis --

(Yep. I hear ya, man.)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm having fits about food.

I have osteopenia - mainly as a result of suppression of calcium absorption caused by years on Nexium and Prilosec for severe acid reflux when I was heavy. So my GP said to increase my calcium intake, both dietary and supplements.

The nutritionist whose recommendations helped me to lose the weight wanted me to get most of my proteins from from beans, nuts, and dairy products like eggs, yogurt, and cheese. When I eat a carb, it should be combined with a protein, like peanut butter with an apple. I usually eat only one palm-sized serving of meat a day, maybe four or five of the seven days a week.

To slow down any tendency of the macular degeneration to grow, the ophthalmologist says I should eat more dark green vegetables, like kale, collards, spinach, and chard.

So far, it all goes together.

BUT
Because my kidney stones are calcium oxalate, the urologist says to curb my calcium and oxalate intake.

The dairy products are full of calcium. The dark greens and peanuts are full of oxalate.

I'm going nuts trying to figure out what I CAN eat. It's like I have both Jack Spratt and his wife inside.

Maybe I should just throw it all away and go on my grandmother's diet. She lived into her middle nineties on pot roast, cabbage, and root vegetables like parsnips, turnips, radishes, carrots, onions, potatoes, and rutabagas. And the occasional macaroni salad. And lots of Welsh cookies. Which are full of lard. Which makes them good.

Or I could take Jasper's advice.
.

3441 Crackers

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Every exit is also an entrance.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Hmmm. I think the above quote is meant to be taken in a philosophical way, but one could get naughty about it, too.

Um, not every exit.

-------------------------------

I have zero creativity. Thinking up titles for these posts strains my imagination way beyond what a title is worth, 'specially since with labels I can more easily find topics than I ever could with titles, anyway. So from now on (or for however long I feel like it) I'd going to use random words for titles. Jasper sometimes puts words in my head, so I'll just use whatever he wants.

-------------------------------

For some odd reason today I was desperately trying to remember where we lived (when I was a kid) that we had a sandbox. I think it was probably at the Appleman's apartment in Benton, when I was in maybe fourth grade. Anyway, every so often, my mother had to go out to the sandbox and dig up the flyswatters and her spatulas. That's what she used to spank us with, and the kids would take them when she wasn't looking and bury them in the sandbox.

Don't know what made me think of that....

Hmmm. Maybe that came from Jasper, too. His litterbox needs cleaning.

--------------------------------

Friday night's problem got rapidly better as the day went on yesterday. I feel fine now, but the AZO sticks still say UTI, so I guess I still have to call the doctor tomorrow.

Bleck.
.

3440 I really don't need this

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
-- Steven Wright --

-----------------------------------------------

I've been suspecting a UTI for the past ten days. The AZO strip said "sorta", and the strange odor to my urine is back. I have no other symptoms. I've been drinking a lot of water, and upped the cranberry tablets. Sometimes the odor would go away for a day, then it would be back. The urologist has office hours only on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday (other days he's doing surgery and stuff, and you can't even make an appointment on the non-office days), so on Thursday I finally faced the fact that I would have to make an appointment on Monday.

Yesterday afternoon I started the dull pain across the top of my hips and the heavy feeling in the abdomen, and in the evening the slight nausea started - not like I feel like I might throw up, but like I don't want to eat. Just before I went to bed the blood started. My urine was red last night and first thing this morning, with small stringy clots.

I just piddled a few minutes ago, and now it looks fine.

I don't know what's going on. I now have less pain in the back, so maybe I passed a small stone? I'm now piddling into a strainer.

I called the doctor's office just in case there might be someone there, and I got the message that "if it's an emergency, call 911." I don't want to go to the ER. That's horribly expensive even with insurance, and I doubt that this is an emergency.

Sigh. I really don't need this....

--------------------------------

I also woke up this morning to a Meetup announcement, that one of my event organizers has scheduled a Super Bowl Party, in a bar, for my meetup group.

I was immediately extremely angry. I was very specific with those women that the group was for dining and conversation, I specifically set a geographic boundary, I specifically said we don't do bars, bands, or booze (although if the restaurant happens to have a bar that's ok), I specifically said that attendance should be limited to one table of diners. I was very clear that it was a small conversational group.

She has set up an unlimited blowout in a bar on Super Bowl Sunday, way outside the geographic limit, with DJ and dancing after the game.

What's wrong with these people? She completely ignored everything I said.

I waited until I calmed down, then I wrote an email to all four, saying that I was pleased that they were taking the reins and scheduling events. However, I would appreciate it if they would reread the initial email I had sent as to the purpose of the group. I said that I am allowed to start up to three groups, so if any of them would like to start a separate group under my account, they may do so. I mentioned that I was going to cancel the Super Bowl party as outside the parameters of the dining group.

Then I sent a separate email to the woman who organized the party, saying that she is welcome to start a group under my account, she can name it and define it any way she wishes and have complete control over it. Then after it's set up, I'll cancel the party under the dinner group and we'll just have everyone who RSVPed for the party move to her group and RSVP there.

What do you want to bet she doesn't read the entire notes, blows up, freaks out, emails all 38 current members blasting me, and just generally makes life miserable for me?

Sigh. I really don't need this....
.

3375 Sleep, ribs, headache

Sunday, October 23, 2011

One who considers himself a victim of circumstance
is more often a prisoner of his own decisions.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is a note for my own memory. Ignore.

Sleep - bad for several weeks. Disturbed by brain running in high gear. Fall asleep easily, but wake multiple times with cascading thoughts.

Headache - across lower back of head and neck. Often wake at very early hour and can't get back to sleep. One aspirin helps. Disappears when I'm upright. Neck creaks for a while when I move it after I get up. Headaches are very rare for me, so this is a worry.

Ribs - they hurt. Low, high, front, back, pain moves around. Definitely the ribs, not inside. About two or three weeks now. Also right hip, for about a month or more, moves around front, back, side, high, low.

Reasons? Heat blows on bed, on head, during night. Closed the vents completely last night, did sleep a little better. Still same bone pain, but headache less this morning. That mechanical tree frog sound from across the street disturbs me, causes tension in my neck. If things don't improve, try sleeping in a back bedroom. Can't hear it there. Bone pain - wondering if the kidney-protecting calcium reduction is causing it. I'm going to ignore doctor recommendations and add the magnesium back in. Maybe ribs hurt from leaning over the play yard sides?
.

3349 Frustration

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The two rules for success: 1) Figure out exactly what you want to do. 2) Do it.
-- Mario Cuomo's mother --

----------------------------------------------------

The mid-Hudson Valley seems to have had it worse than here from Irene. Lots of flooding, trees down, bridges out. The Hairless Hunk says my old house is fine, some branches down but no major tree loss, and so on, but --- he can see only the exterior. I'm anxious to get up there.

But things keep popping up, keeping me here! I can't even get the stuff I need to do here done. I'm getting very upset.

-------------------------------

Two years ago I flunked the bone density test (mildly) and my GP told me to increase my calcium. Last February I had high blood calcium, so my GP told me increase vitamin D.

Two years ago my blood sugar was fluctuating wildly (and I wanted to lose weight), so the nutritionist taught me how to balance carbs and protein. Too much meat is not good, I hate beans, nuts are fine but too high in fat to use too much, so she told me to up my no-fat/low-fat dairy.

Saw the urologist yesterday. He says that my 24-hour (actually 48, but who's counting) urine collection shows I'm passing a lot of calcium, and since the stones are calcium oxalate, I should reduce dairy products in my diet, and reduce the vitamin D.

Hmmmm.

So, what do I do now?

Three years ago my THS (thyroid stimulating hormone) was high, so my GP put me on thyroid supplements. Last February the THS was fine, so they took the thyroid supplements away from me.

The parathyroid regulates calcium.

One of the results of parathyroid disfunction is --- I forget now what it's called --- but nodules form in the lungs, heart, other organs. The nodules in the lungs cause rales (the rattling/bubbling in the lungs like with pneumonia). Two weeks ago, my new GP heard rales. I've always had rales to some degree because of the structure of my lungs, but not enough that anyone worried about them. She was worried.

Hmmm. Maybe I should get my parathyroid checked.

Why has no doctor suggested that?

Probably for the same reason that my signs of raging kidney infection were ignored. Nobody really thinks any more.
.

3325 Collection, Chobani, Sister

Monday, August 1, 2011

"Who understands does not preach;
Who preaches does not understand."
-- Tao Te Ching --

------------------------------------------------------------

Baby Sister, I know you read this. I missed your birthday! I'm so sorry. I say missed instead of forgot, because I didn't forget, but when the time came, I missed it! Blew right on by.

Well, I hope your day was great, and that your offspring were more attentive than I, and that the next year goes well for you. Happy birthday, Baby.

(She's baby sister because she's younger, but I can't call her Little Sister because she got the long legs, and can run faster and beat me up.)

--------------------------------

I'm not buying Chobani Greek low-fat yogurt any more. I'm done. Two containers in the past week went to alcohol, and one of those two absolutely didn't get warm - it went from the store refrigerator to my refrigerator within a half hour - and the container I opened yesterday had a spot of mold in it. The foil lid was tight - no open spots - but there was mold along the edge. I don't trust the crap anymore. And that stuff's expensive!

I used to pay about $.80 for the old 8-ounce Dannon. Then they went to 6-ounce containers, and the price went to like $.68. It's been creeping up since then, of course, but was never over $.89. Well, this stupid Chobani is something like $1.39 for 6 ounces. That's ridiculous!

Dannon has become too sweet-tasting, and the local stores don't seem to stock the fat-free Dannon in the right flavors (I don't want fruit-on-the-bottom). I need to find a new good clean live-culture low-fat or fat-free yogurt. I haven't had a yeast infection in nigh on 30 years, and I don't intend to, and I credit my once a day live yogurt for that.

--------------------------------

In other news, the urine collection has not gone well. I had TOLD them that one 3-litre container par day wasn't going to be enough. They patted me on the head and told me I was silly.

Well, Friday I started collecting in the acid-treated container. By 2 pm, it was already 2/3 full, and I knew the overnight collection would be most important because I take my vitamins and minerals in the evening, so I didn't drink anything from 2 pm until 8 pm. This is NOT my usual pattern. I filled the container to the top with the morning's deposit, and took it to the lab Saturday morning.

Then I started the plain container with the next piddle on Saturday. I curtailed my usual intake so it would all fit.

Don't know if you've ever done this, but they give you what is sometimes called a top hat. It looks like a plastic hat, with a brim around 3/4 of the top, and you set it in the toilet with the hat brim holding it in place in the front of the bowl, under the seat ring.

Well, when I went to bed Saturday night, I put the hat in the toilet upstairs. During the night, maybe about 2 am, I got up and filled the hat. Literally. It slightly passed the 30 ounce mark on the markings in the hat.

Sheesh! How big is my bladder? Anyway, note that that's 2 lbs of urine in the hat. I lifted the toilet seat ring to remove the hat, and the brim of the hat collapsed from the weight, dumping half the urine into the bowl, and splashing water into the hat.

I can't use that.

Now what?

I could dump out what I'd already collected from Saturday and start over on Sunday. Or I could shrug, keep what I've got so far up to 10 pm Saturday, and then start collecting Sunday night at 10 pm.

So that's what I did. Middle-of-the-night again, Sunday night, I exceeded even the previous night's. I not only passed the 30 ounce mark, but I passed the top of the hat and it overflowed into the toilet bowl. Sheesh! (Just for the heck of it, I measured how much it takes to overflow the hat. It was at least 45 ounces, not counting what got lost when it overflowed.) I tried to pour what was in the hat into the collection container, but it wouldn't all fit.

So the first deposit of the morning and the remainder of the night's had to go into a 1-quart Melamine storage container.

This is getting ridiculous. I spent much of Sunday out with Daughter and a friend, and then with Daughter until after 7 pm. They saw how much I drank during the day. From about 11 am until maybe 8 pm I had one large glass of restaurant water, no ice, and one large glass of iced coffee, half of which was ice and discarded. And then in the evening, maybe two or three 10-12 ounce glasses of water.

Where is this stuff coming from?!

Just how big IS my bladder? Actually, I suspect a lot of the overnight stuff was coming from the collection chambers in the kidneys.

Incidentally, I never used to get up in the night to piddle. That crap started in April when I had the stent. I'm not too happy with this new habit, but apparently the kidneys and bladder like it. And the doctors always tell you to piddle after sex, so if I ever have sex again (snork!), it might come in handy. (A little more TMI - I never could do it for two reasons - I get so congested and puffy there that it shuts off piddling, and, as I used to tell the doctors, "I can't piddle that many times in one night.")

So, anyhoo, I took the regular container and my storage container with the excess to the lab this morning. They were a little upset and told me that I should have asked for TWO collection bottles.

Then *I* got upset, and informed them that I DID request additional, and was refused since they were SURE I wouldn't need it. Regardless of the fact that I was sure I did.

I am so pissed.

...pun...

--------------------------------

Oh, hey, something else stupid. They didn't want to give me my storage container back, because it had had urine in it. Duh? It isn't soft plastic. It's 30 years old, and solid, and can be washed on the sani cycle in the dishwasher! Also, it was MY urine! I touch it all the time.
.

3324 Collecting

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Anything that says "healthy" I stay away from.
Giving up butter, for instance, means that in about two years
you will be covered in dandruff.
-- Julia Child --

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It's been a hair over six weeks since I had the stent removed, and it's time to do the 24-hour urine collection. (Why wait six weeks? I have no idea. Perhaps because my bladder was so torn up the urologist wanted to give it time to heal? That still doesn't explain six weeks. Maybe that was the longest he figured he could put off having to see me again.)

I picked up the collection bottles at the lab earlier in the week. Yeah, bottleS. Turns out the doctor wants a bunch of things (chemicals in the urine) tested for, some of which require acid in the urine in the bottle, and others which require pure urine, so I have to do TWO 24-hour collections. So I needed two days that I wasn't going to be going out much.

I had intended to head upriver on Wednesday evening and return yesterday, but I blew it. I got involved in something Wednesday, and time had gotten away from me and it was late and I was very tired. So I decided to leave very early Thursday morning. I've been waking automatically at 6:30 lately, so I figured I could be on the road by 7.

Wednesday night I had great difficulty sleeping. Thousands of thoughts. Tossing and turning. I even got up and came downstairs for a few minutes at 2 am. By 5 am I was still not sleeping. Then I fell asleep and didn't wake until 9:30. That would put me at the old house at the hottest time of the afternoon, I'd have lost control of the heat in the house, wouldn't be able to get it cooled down, and then I'd just have to leave again the next morning. So I didn't go. I'll go Monday.

So I've been collecting urine yesterday and today.

When the woman at the lab gave me the containers, I said, "3000 ml? I'll need an additional container for each day, these aren't large enough."

I am so sick and tired of medical folks patting me on the head and assuring me I don't know what I'm talking about.

"Oh, no, these will be plenty large enough. If you fill it this far (pointing about two inches from the top) you'll be doing really good." I told her I regularly drink a minimum of three liters a day, not including whatever fluid is in my food. She said, "Oh, not everything that goes in comes out. This will be ok."

I didn't argue further.

So yesterday, when the container was more than half full by 2 pm, I curtailed my usual intake for the rest of the day, because I knew the next morning's piddle would be especially important because that's where all the vitamins and minerals I take would show up, and that would be about 12-16 ounces, so I'd have to leave at least that much room. Which royally pissed me off, because I figure if we want to find out what's causing the stones, it's important to eat and drink as close to my usual as possible.

I took that container to the lab this morning, and it was full to within a half inch of the top.

It's NOT thirst that makes me drink so much. It's habit. I don't usually carry bottles of water with me, for example. I can be out running around all day with nothing to drink, and I'll feel no thirst. One odd thing I've noticed is that when I don't get the usual three quarts of water a day, my stomach sticks out. It's like my body pulls a reserve of fluid into the fat pad on my tummy. Camel mode. The better regularly hydrated I am, the flatter the tummy. (And the better my face looks. Wrinkles and grooves get filled in.)

"They" say that when you are adequately hydrated, your urine should be very pale, almost clear.

I never see clear, even at 3+ quarts a day. It's rarely even pale. It's usually bright yellow crayon yellow. When I've gone a day with little to drink, it's a bright intense flashing neon yellow. (When it gets dark yellow, that's infection.)

My liver's fine, by the way. And the whites of my eyes are white.

Maybe it's the vitamins and minerals? Excess getting piddled away? I don't think so, because a.) although I'm taking a large variety, it's not large quantities, nowhere near megadoses on any of them, they're just to "fill in" the holes, so to speak, and b.) I have often skipped the supplements when traveling or "just because", and there's no difference.

I'm hoping this test might answer that question.
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3295 Bits

Saturday, July 2, 2011

There's no reason to waste a creative thinker on an implementation task.
-- Dilbert --

-----------------------------------------------------

When the Nugget got her first immunizations, Daughter had been worried about how she would react when the nurse hurt her baby, and she didn't want the Nugget to think her mommy had done this terrible thing to her, so she asked me to go with her. Well, when the time came, Daughter did take over, and talked to Nugget. Nugget startled, the lower lip came out, but she recovered quickly and smiled at her mommy. All was well. Daughter picked her up, held her in her arms, and told her she was a good girl, very brave. And I put my arm around Daughter and told her she was a good girl, very brave.

--------------------------------

I'm reading one of the free books that came with the Kindle, a collection of old fairy tales. Very bloody. They use a lot of old or unusual words, too. I have to look up words in every story, like "firmity" (a sort of a pudding-like glop made with soaked cracked grain, thickened with egg), "league" (the distance a man can walk in one hour, being farther on flat smooth ground and shorter on rough or steep ground), "cimeter" (a smallish knife with a curved blade shaped like a scimitar), "drest" (old adjective form of dressed), and so on.

I most enjoyed looking up "league". The first part of the Wikipedia article on anthropic measurements is very interesting. Ever wonder what a cubit is? Or a fathom? Furlong?

It struck me as odd that many of the measurements seem to assume an average human height of six feet. (On a well-proportioned body, the distance from the tips of the fingers to the opposite tips of outstretched arms should be equal to the height from the ground to the top of the head.) And yet I'd always heard that people in antiquity were much smaller than now. That David's giant was actually probably just a bit over six feet tall. I know that when you look at uniforms in Civil War museums (I lived in Gettysburg a few years) the uniforms seem tiny, too small even for me, and that was only 150 years ago. Same with Victorian dresses.

So it seems odd.

--------------------------------

I'm thinking I can probably live with this kidney stone. I still have the other part of that double kidney functioning well. I believe the stones formed because I had the year-and-a-half kidney infection, and if I can avoid any future kidney infections, it won't get any worse.

The organism was the usual Escherichia coli (E. coli). "They" tell women that to prevent UTIs, we should wipe front to back, and piddle after sex. I don't know about the rest of the world, but I have great difficulty doing either. I have to wipe side-to-side, just being careful not to pull forward. And I can't piddle after sex because I have to piddle before, or I can't relax to enjoy it, so there's nothing there. Besides, I can't piddle that many times in one evening.

So I was thinking about that, and decided that I will have to use the Azo strips periodically. Check often, and insist that if something does show up, we cannot assume it's just a simple bladder infection.

That got me wondering about bidets. Um, wouldn't they contribute to UTIs? I can't imagine that the stream of water is very careful about where it carries and splashes and deposits stuff. At least then it's your own ickiness. Not like the automatic-flush toilets in public restrooms, like those along the parkways and throughways, that flush even while you're still on them and splash your bottom with God-knows-what left by God-knows-whom. Those things make me cringe.

--------------------------------

I heard fireworks last night. I automatically got up and went to the window, and was disappointed to find that I could see nothing. The sounds were coming from the north and northwest, and from the southeast. North and northwest would be Brooklyn and Staten Island, and in the winter I can see them, but with the leaves on the trees now I can see next to nothing. Southeast would be along the bay shores or ocean shores, but being at sealevel myself and surrounded by trees, I could see nothing.

Disappointment. The old house is on a ridge with a view to the mountains, and I used to be able to see the fireworks from Bard college, Kingston, Rhinebeck, and Saugerties, and if Woodstock invested in the good stuff that would rise above the mountains, I could see theirs, too.

Tsk. I'll miss them.
.

3285 Settling Down

Thursday, June 16, 2011

A round woman has an extravagant body.
-- Silk --

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I'm feeling pretty good now. From not walking in so long, my energy and stamina are a bit low, and my legs complain, but that should pass. My bladder aches today, and the urethra feels bruised, but the stinging on urination has been gone since Tuesday overnight, and my tummy is shrinking.

Time to pick up my life again.
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3284 Maelstrom

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

There is negative perfectionism and positive perfectionism.
Negative perfectionism is based on a fear of inadequacy.
Positive perfectionism strives for mastery.
-- Silk --

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In the past few days I have experience a maelstrom of emotions, ranging from anger, sadness, discouragement, fear, and disillusionment to joy, happiness, hope, and excitement, and everything in between, sometimes in quick succession and sometimes all at the same time.

Early Monday afternoon I met with the urologist. I had looked up the ESWL procedure scheduled for this Friday, and I had a bunch of questions and concerns, and when the office help said I wouldn't see him before the actual procedure, I had asked for an appointment to talk with him.

When I was shown into his office on Monday and took the seat in front of his desk, before I had a chance to speak he looked at me angrily and said, "You went to the internet! You can't believe anything you read on the internet! It just causes trouble!" or something like that, it may not have been his exact words, but that was the gist of it, and he was VERY angry.

I responded something to the effect that I went to the internet for questions, and have now come to him for the answers. Doesn't matter, I guess. It's obvious he doesn't like questions either. He's Egyptian, I think, has a heavy accent, and I got the distinct impression he doesn't like challenges to his authority. He asked what kind of questions.

So, I sorta blinked twice, and said, "Well, the most important one I guess, is that I have fragile capillaries. Could that be a problem?" His face turned purple, and he said, "Yes. I will not do the procedure. Do you have any other questions?" Well, that response pretty much eliminated the rest. I asked if it was possible that the fragility was only maybe in my skin, not the internal organs, and asked if there was any kind of test, and he said no, no, no, and reiterated that he would not do the procedure. Period. End of discussion.

I asked what next, then? He said we'd take the stent out and then "play it by ear". Those were his exact words. I was dismissed.

I was stunned. On the way out, I stopped at the desk to get the appointment for the stent removal, and was told that the first opening was June 30th.

I pretty much crashed then. June 30th is two and a half weeks away! This useless stent HURTS! It's hurting more every day. And there's no reason for its existence, let alone to be tearing up my insides!

I wanted to cry. I wanted to kill somebody. After all this, there's been no headway. There's been nothing but deterioration since April 2, when they removed a stone blocking the distal end of a ureter, and put the stent in the wrong place.

Driving home, I wanted to cry, but I was too angry to cry.

--------------------------------

You know, I got the distinct impression that it was not so much that I had questions at all, but that I said the words "fragile capillaries". One of the questions always asked is whether you have a bleeding problem or if you are taking a blood thinner. I always answer that I don't have a bleeding problem, I clot well and quickly and I heal quickly (in fact I have phenomenal healing ability), BUT that I do have fragile capillaries. I ALWAYS state that. And if it's not an interview, if it's the checkmark list, I always check "no" on bleeding problems, but then write in "I have fragile capillaries". So it was in my folder right there on his desk. It shouldn't have been a surprise.

(In fact, I suspect it's related to the blowout problem with my veins when anyone attempts to draw blood or set an IV. I just have thin walls, I guess.)

Now , here's the part that angered me more than anything else, more than his attitude, more than having to endure unnecessary pain for another two weeks, more than having no other avenue to resolve this -
I had the distinct impression that if I had not specifically asked, if I had not mentioned it to the nurse and she wrote it down as a concern when I made the appointment and if it had not been overheard by his office staff, no one would ever have asked, he would have gone ahead and done the procedure, and it's entirely possible that I could have started bleeding in and around the kidney, which is a life-threatening emergency. If I lived, I could have lost that kidney. If I had never mentioned it to him, he would have gone ahead and taken that chance!

By my actually bringing it up, he's now open to malpractice if anything went wrong.

And THAT's what made him angry!

That's not a conclusion I came to later. I had that impression right there in his office. Instantly.

--------------------------------

So, I have a double kidney with stones in the lower collection chamber, one of which is blocking the lower ureter, no stones in the upper collection chamber, but a stent in that upper chamber that is tearing up my bladder and doing absolutely nothing else since it's in the wrong chamber, and possibly tearing up the kidney, too, who knows, and I've had only one day in the past month or so that I haven't bled. My stomach is sticking out like I'm seven months pregnant, and it's incredibly tender, there's a nyt-load of edema going on, and since there's all that edema, but the doctor's scale says I've lot four pounds in the last month, I've probably lost a lot more than four.

There's a lump just in front of the urethral opening "down there" which I suspect is the stent poking the bottom of the bladder. It hurts. It hurts when I sit. It hurts when I walk. Imagine a fork shoved up in there, and then the tines are bent every which way, and the handle is hanging out. Now sit, and walk, and bend over. That's what it feels like. It HURTS!

I tell the doctor it hurts. I tell the nurses it hurts. Everybody just shrugs. I don't think they believe me. I tell them I'm bleeding constantly, and we're not talking pink lemonade, we're talking BLOOD! But nobody asks for a urine sample. I think they think I'm exaggerating.

In the meantime, I haven't been able to do anything physical, I haven't been to the old house in months and if I don't get out of there soon I will lose the buyer who's interested, my back and stomach are losing tone, which is dangerous because I need those muscles to keep my spine aligned, and nobody seems to care. Like two and a half more weeks don't matter. And I still have half a double kidney full of stones and blocked. That can't be good....?

--------------------------------

So, that was my status on Monday afternoon.

Late Monday afternoon, I got a call from the urologist's office. They had a cancellation Tuesday morning. Could I come in then to get the stent out?

Uh, yeah.

--------------------------------

So, Tuesday morning. Yesterday. Stent removal. Office procedure.

On Monday, during the unpleasant office conversation, I had pointed out that we still didn't know how the ureters from the left kidney were arranged - whether both ureters emptied into the bladder, or whether they joined into one before reaching the bladder, and that it was important to know that because if they joined, the stent itself could be blocking the lower ureter. I asked if it was possible to actually LOOK into the bladder with a scope, and then we'd know if there was one or two.

Apparently he hadn't thought of that. And you know sumthin'? I think that had a lot to do with the "cancellation". I think I piqued his curiosity.

When I arrived the nurse asked for a urine sample. (The first one in this office.) I filled the little cup with blood. The nurse's eyebrows shot up, but she didn't say anything.

The procedure involved a topical anesthetic swabbed around the urethra, and then a scope was inserted. With men, they use a flexible scope, but with women they use a rigid one (according to the internet - HE didn't say a single word to ME!). There's also a lot of saline pumped in to clear it out and expand things smoothly. The nurse stood next to me and told me what was going on.

The urologist cranked that damn scope all around like he was digging a hole. Then he grabbed the end of the stent and pulled it out. That surprised me. The stent has curls at either end that are supposed to keep it in place, one end in the kidney and one end in the bladder. When it's put in, a guide wire is used to keep the curls straightened out. I had assumed a guide wire would be used to straighten out the kidney end for withdrawal, but if there was any wire used yesterday, I wasn't aware of it. There were a few slight pinches, and a short feeling of heavy pressure, and then it was done.

I think the nurse asked him if he saw a second ureter on the left, and he muttered something about too much edema, so I guess that didn't pan out. I wonder if he'll ever say anything to me about it.

I put my panties back on, and the nurse told me that there would be blood for a few days, that's normal, and some pain and stinging on urination. They gave me a prescription for an antibiotic (Cipro) and a pain killer (Phenazopyridine). Six weeks from now, we need a 24-hour urine collection to find out my urine's chemical composition, and then we'll "play it by ear".

As I was walking across the parking lot, I suddenly realized I was walking without pain. The pain had crept up so slowly, and increased so subtly over the past two months that I hadn't realized how really bad it was until it was gone. Also gone was the pain I'd had in the right lower back, that I'd ascribed to my spine, because it was lessened by changing position. (Now I'm wondering if the stent had been pressing against my spine and had thrown it out of alignment.)

I threw my arms up in the air and shouted, "I'm walking! I can WALK!" I startled a few people.

Since then, I haven't seen a single drop of blood, not from the instant the stent was pulled and I was allowed to empty the saline load. It's a clear pale yellow, like evening sunshine. There was a little stinging when I piddled yesterday, but that's gone. I haven't even opened the pain pills' bottle. (And after reading the info sheet on it, I don't think I'd have ever taken it even if I did have pain. That crap can do some really nasty stuff!)

Of course, I wonder. Is all this pretty urine coming from the right kidney, and the left isn't working? Was all that blood coming not from the bladder, but from the left kidney, and now without the stent it's just building up in the kidney and not coming out? Is there any way I can know?

But I can walk without pain. I can sit without pain. For now, I'm happy.

Later, I'll think about the stones, and the blockage, still there. But not now.
.

3282 WOW!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

A great leader knows the way, shows the way, then goes away.

---------------------------------------------------

No bleeding today, for the first time in ... uh ... ages!

I'm happy about that.
.