Before we got started, I told the technician about my wonky left kidney, so we have to be cognizant that anything that goes into the lower chamber (my left kidney has two unconnected chambers and two ureters, and the lower one is blocked by a stone) may not be flushed out for a long time, so I would prefer not to use anything that might damage a kidney. So he went off and talked to some doctor, and came back and did two things.
1.) They switched to another contrast that is gentle on kidneys, "It's the one we use for people with renal failure". He told me the name, but of course I've forgotten it. I asked him if it was as effective, does it give the same results, and he said yes, that the scans are exactly the same. So I blinked twice, and asked "Then why don't you use that one all the time for everyone?" He looked like I'd just voted for his favorite candidate, and said "Yeah. That would make sense. [shrug] I don't know."
2.) They took some blood, and ran it straight to the lab for renal function testing, and came back in minutes with the news that TA RAH my kidneys are not just working fine, they're working exceedingly well! He told me what they tested for, what the ranges were, and what my numbers were, and of course I've forgotten (I didn't have a pen or paper in there to write anything down), but translating to a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is a healthy teenager and 10 is you'll be dead next week, I came in like 1.2. What the...?!?!?!
Remember that kidney doctor who tortured me through 2011 and 2012? The one who, when I asked why we were doing the same (often painful) tests over and over when the results were always the same, answered "Because it's progressing" and wouldn't say anything more? Who scared me to death because kidney failure is relentlessly progressive, kidneys once damaged never heal but turn into a chain of dominoes? Yeah, him? Before I just didn't like him. Now I'm furious with him.
I fired him because I had no trust or faith in him, and I figured if I was headed for dialysis anyway, I'd rather skip all this useless testing between now and then, since nothing was going to stop or slow it, so I may as well sit back comfortably in the meantime.
Apparently it's not progressing. And I guess all the things I've been doing to protect my kidneys, like restricting foods and supplements high in minerals and salts and drinking lots of water throughout the day, have been working.
Maybe now I can even have a banana occasionally. I miss bananas.