One plus one does not equal two. It approaches two as an upper or lower limit.
-- Silk --
------------------------------------------------
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Saturday, April 20, 2013
3721 "Fun" day
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Daughter is away at her 15-year college reunion, leaving Hercules and Nugget home alone for three days. Yesterday evening, Friday evening, Hercules took the Nugget to a playground, and went down a side with her on his lap. She was wearing rubber-soled shoes, and her right shoe caught the side of the slide, and her leg got jerked back. With the full weight of Hercules behind her.
I had agreed to babysit this morning while Hercules went on a trail-cleaning junket with his geocaching group, so when I saw his car in the driveway last night I went over to find out what time I should be there, and he mentioned that Nugget had a boo-boo, that she said her knee hurt, but he didn't see any swelling or bruising. When he told me what had happened, I was very concerned, but she was already asleep for the night.
I went over there at 8 this morning, and it was pretty bad. Nugget was ok when sitting, and she could move the leg, but she kept saying boo-boo, pointing at her knee, and she couldn't put weight on it. She'd stand on her left leg with the right foot held off the ground. It was hard for Hercules to accept that she needed to go to the doctor or the ER, because a.) he REALLY didn't want to miss the trail cleaning, and b.) he's a tightwad and didn't want to pay the copay for what would probably be nothing.
I pushed, and he called the pediatrician. Appointment at 11. She sent us to the big hospital 40 minutes down the coast (they have a pediatric whatsis). In the ER they xRayed her leg, and ... surprise!
Her Daddy went into the xRay room with her. I waited in the hall, and it was heart-wrenching. She'd been fine until then, but she didn't want to lie down, didn't want her leg in that position, didn't like that machine, her screams were terrible. When she came out of the room she was fine again, and loved riding the bed back to the ER.
It's a spiral break in the tibia, so common they call it "the toddler break". And playground slides are the usual cause.
The doctor who was to do the cast was in Princeton, which is an hour away. We waited for him.
Nugget had so far been cheerful, but we were already past lunch and running into nap time. We got her some food from the cafeteria, and some apple juice, and then she fell asleep on Daddy's lap. The cast doctor arrived around 3:30, and wrapped her leg up right on Daddy's lap while she was still sound asleep. She didn't even twitch. With her new cast, in the hospital:
It's a hard cast, toes to just above the knee, with the knee slightly bent. Four to six weeks. It looks blue in the photo, but it's actually brilliant purple.
She slept in the car all the way home, and then for almost a hour longer after getting home.
She keeps asking us to take the cast off, and tries to push it off. She knows what "broken" means, and every time I explain to her that her leg is broken, and the doctor fixed it, but we have to keep the "cast" (can you say "cast"?) on until it's all done fixing, she accepts that for about 15 minutes, then she wants it off again.
She can't stand or walk. She's unbalanced with one knee bent, and putting weight on it even with the cast seems to hurt, but by this evening she'd learned how to use her little plastic chair as a crutch. Figured that out all by herself.
The next few weeks are going to be rough on Daughter. The Nugget weighs almost 30 pounds, and I haven't been able to pick her up for a few months. The cast is surprisingly heavy, adds more weight. Daughter probably weighs about 102. We're going to have to figure some stuff out. Anyone have any experience with a toddler in a leg cast?
------------------------------
I got a laugh from the doctors and nurses when I said that she'd been born in this hospital, and wouldn't be 2 until next week, so, uh, any chance she's still under warranty?
.
No two equals are the same.
-- Malaclypse the Younger --
-------------------------------------------------------------
Daughter is away at her 15-year college reunion, leaving Hercules and Nugget home alone for three days. Yesterday evening, Friday evening, Hercules took the Nugget to a playground, and went down a side with her on his lap. She was wearing rubber-soled shoes, and her right shoe caught the side of the slide, and her leg got jerked back. With the full weight of Hercules behind her.
I had agreed to babysit this morning while Hercules went on a trail-cleaning junket with his geocaching group, so when I saw his car in the driveway last night I went over to find out what time I should be there, and he mentioned that Nugget had a boo-boo, that she said her knee hurt, but he didn't see any swelling or bruising. When he told me what had happened, I was very concerned, but she was already asleep for the night.
I went over there at 8 this morning, and it was pretty bad. Nugget was ok when sitting, and she could move the leg, but she kept saying boo-boo, pointing at her knee, and she couldn't put weight on it. She'd stand on her left leg with the right foot held off the ground. It was hard for Hercules to accept that she needed to go to the doctor or the ER, because a.) he REALLY didn't want to miss the trail cleaning, and b.) he's a tightwad and didn't want to pay the copay for what would probably be nothing.
I pushed, and he called the pediatrician. Appointment at 11. She sent us to the big hospital 40 minutes down the coast (they have a pediatric whatsis). In the ER they xRayed her leg, and ... surprise!
It's a spiral break in the tibia, so common they call it "the toddler break". And playground slides are the usual cause.
The doctor who was to do the cast was in Princeton, which is an hour away. We waited for him.
Nugget had so far been cheerful, but we were already past lunch and running into nap time. We got her some food from the cafeteria, and some apple juice, and then she fell asleep on Daddy's lap. The cast doctor arrived around 3:30, and wrapped her leg up right on Daddy's lap while she was still sound asleep. She didn't even twitch. With her new cast, in the hospital:
It's a hard cast, toes to just above the knee, with the knee slightly bent. Four to six weeks. It looks blue in the photo, but it's actually brilliant purple.
She slept in the car all the way home, and then for almost a hour longer after getting home.
She keeps asking us to take the cast off, and tries to push it off. She knows what "broken" means, and every time I explain to her that her leg is broken, and the doctor fixed it, but we have to keep the "cast" (can you say "cast"?) on until it's all done fixing, she accepts that for about 15 minutes, then she wants it off again.
She can't stand or walk. She's unbalanced with one knee bent, and putting weight on it even with the cast seems to hurt, but by this evening she'd learned how to use her little plastic chair as a crutch. Figured that out all by herself.
The next few weeks are going to be rough on Daughter. The Nugget weighs almost 30 pounds, and I haven't been able to pick her up for a few months. The cast is surprisingly heavy, adds more weight. Daughter probably weighs about 102. We're going to have to figure some stuff out. Anyone have any experience with a toddler in a leg cast?
------------------------------
I got a laugh from the doctors and nurses when I said that she'd been born in this hospital, and wouldn't be 2 until next week, so, uh, any chance she's still under warranty?
.
Friday, April 19, 2013
3720 Waiting for news
Friday, April 19, 2013
Seems like the ONLY news today is the Boston manhunt. It's the same things over and over. I had to go to the internet to find out what the news is from Texas.
The total now from the fertilizer plant explosion is 14 bodies recovered, about 60 people missing and unaccounted for, and more than 200 injured.
I guess that's just less exciting....
.
You will find that the state is the kind of organization which,
though it does big things badly, does small things badly too.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith --
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seems like the ONLY news today is the Boston manhunt. It's the same things over and over. I had to go to the internet to find out what the news is from Texas.
The total now from the fertilizer plant explosion is 14 bodies recovered, about 60 people missing and unaccounted for, and more than 200 injured.
I guess that's just less exciting....
.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
3719 Some are more equal than others, or something....
Thursday, April 18, 2013
There was a huge explosion at a Texas fertilizer plant last night, at about 8 pm. Authorities predict between five and fifteen dead and more than 160 injured, but they're still pulling people out of wreckage, so those numbers could go much higher. The ones they are sure died are firefighters and a police officer. It's a small town, and a large part of the town was flattened by the blast, including a nursing home. So far, it is believed to be a chemical accident.
I shall wait to see if there is a big national fund set up for the injured and families of the dead, the people who lost their homes and possessions. I shall watch for biographies of victims. I shall wait for the politicians and their speeches. Will there be people praying all over the nation?
I shall wait for someone to explain how a hurricane or a bomb attack is more terrible than an accident. It isn't to the people involved.
Story at http://entertainment.verizon.com/news/read.php?rip_id=%3CDA5NSA5G0%40news.ap.org%3E&ps=931&page=1. (And what a slap that Verizon put this under "entertainment".)
------
Later: I turned on the TV at noon to see if they had better info, and found the entire newscast was about a memorial service for Boston. If I lived in that little Texas town, I'd feel very ... snubbed.
------------------------------
On Holy Thursday, before Easter, the Pope went to a youth detention center and washed the feet of young prisoners, both male and female. The washing of feet by the pope, usually those of other priests, is a Holy Thursday tradition. The washing of female feet most certainly is not, and many church traditionalists were horrified and angered. Like spitting-mad.
Ok, ladies. How does that make you feel?
------------------------------
I spent some time one late evening wandering around "Dumb Political Quotes"-type sites, and I discovered something odd. Members of one party seem very prone to really ridiculous statements, while members of the other party sometimes says things that that pretty stupid. The difference is that the first party is prone to declarations demonstrating a complete lack of knowledge and logic, while the other party just gets names wrong, or uses the wrong word or terms offensive to the audience.
For example, we have these from Dan Quayle:
Not a simple slip of the lip. The first one is stunning, literally.
I could fill this page with Bush-isms of the same amazing quality. Palin, anyone?
When you look at stupid quotes from the other party, there's very little to be found, and those that exist are just things like calling a female reporter "Sweetie", or getting a town or person's name or a country's language wrong. Or trying out a German phrase and calling yourself a sweet roll. Obama's worst stupid statement seems to be referring to the 58 states. That's not so hard to understand. His mind runs ahead of his mouth. He was probably thinking of the 48 contiguous states, so it came out 58 (actually, "57 and one more to go"). Big deal. A far cry from a Mars atmosphere, or the impossibility of pregnancy from rape.
Am I biased? Well, I know I'm biased, but I mean is my bias coloring what I observed? Or DOES one party tend to promote their most stupid people?
-----------------------------
I have discovered Susie Sampson and her Tea Party Report videos. They're funny. Susie, in the guise of a conservative reporter, comes off with some real zingers. Try this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjshdQc5cjg&list=UU1J66cMCW46dOueINxNbFtw, or this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aRDaSPuGKE&list=UU1J66cMCW46dOueINxNbFtw.
.
We should not write so that it is possible for the reader to understand us,
but so that it is impossible for him to misunderstand us.
-- Quintilian (Marcus Fabius Quintilianus), rhetorician (c. 35-100) --
---------------------------------------------------------------
There was a huge explosion at a Texas fertilizer plant last night, at about 8 pm. Authorities predict between five and fifteen dead and more than 160 injured, but they're still pulling people out of wreckage, so those numbers could go much higher. The ones they are sure died are firefighters and a police officer. It's a small town, and a large part of the town was flattened by the blast, including a nursing home. So far, it is believed to be a chemical accident.
I shall wait to see if there is a big national fund set up for the injured and families of the dead, the people who lost their homes and possessions. I shall watch for biographies of victims. I shall wait for the politicians and their speeches. Will there be people praying all over the nation?
I shall wait for someone to explain how a hurricane or a bomb attack is more terrible than an accident. It isn't to the people involved.
Story at http://entertainment.verizon.com/news/read.php?rip_id=%3CDA5NSA5G0%40news.ap.org%3E&ps=931&page=1. (And what a slap that Verizon put this under "entertainment".)
------
Later: I turned on the TV at noon to see if they had better info, and found the entire newscast was about a memorial service for Boston. If I lived in that little Texas town, I'd feel very ... snubbed.
------------------------------
On Holy Thursday, before Easter, the Pope went to a youth detention center and washed the feet of young prisoners, both male and female. The washing of feet by the pope, usually those of other priests, is a Holy Thursday tradition. The washing of female feet most certainly is not, and many church traditionalists were horrified and angered. Like spitting-mad.
Ok, ladies. How does that make you feel?
------------------------------
I spent some time one late evening wandering around "Dumb Political Quotes"-type sites, and I discovered something odd. Members of one party seem very prone to really ridiculous statements, while members of the other party sometimes says things that that pretty stupid. The difference is that the first party is prone to declarations demonstrating a complete lack of knowledge and logic, while the other party just gets names wrong, or uses the wrong word or terms offensive to the audience.
For example, we have these from Dan Quayle:
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit . . . Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Not a simple slip of the lip. The first one is stunning, literally.
I could fill this page with Bush-isms of the same amazing quality. Palin, anyone?
When you look at stupid quotes from the other party, there's very little to be found, and those that exist are just things like calling a female reporter "Sweetie", or getting a town or person's name or a country's language wrong. Or trying out a German phrase and calling yourself a sweet roll. Obama's worst stupid statement seems to be referring to the 58 states. That's not so hard to understand. His mind runs ahead of his mouth. He was probably thinking of the 48 contiguous states, so it came out 58 (actually, "57 and one more to go"). Big deal. A far cry from a Mars atmosphere, or the impossibility of pregnancy from rape.
Am I biased? Well, I know I'm biased, but I mean is my bias coloring what I observed? Or DOES one party tend to promote their most stupid people?
-----------------------------
I have discovered Susie Sampson and her Tea Party Report videos. They're funny. Susie, in the guise of a conservative reporter, comes off with some real zingers. Try this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjshdQc5cjg&list=UU1J66cMCW46dOueINxNbFtw, or this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aRDaSPuGKE&list=UU1J66cMCW46dOueINxNbFtw.
.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
3718 Weird sighting!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Reddit folks have been examining Boston photos, and have settled on two suspicious-looking dudes, mostly on the basis of the straps on their backpacks compared to FBI photos of the bomb bag. One reddit suspect is nicknamed "The Blue Robe Guy" (because "robe" is so much more sinister than "jacket").
I looked at one of the many photos of B.R.G., and about fell off my chair.
I'd swear that's my late husband Jay. Same color and texture of hair. In some other photos he looks very tall, like Jay. Same body type, slope from chest to little pot belly. Same face, in general. Same smile. Same rounded shoulders and neck thrust. Same slope at the back of his head. Jay kept his beard slightly longer, but hey! Beard! Jay also had that same white patch at his chin. Same nerdy look. He always carried a backpack in his hands, never on his back. The only difference is that Jay always wore glasses, could not wear contacts.
This IS Jay in his early 40s. He actually would have been 61 last month.
But I guess if you're a ghost, you don't need glasses any more. And you don't age.
.
Boys have swag; men have style; gentlemen have class.
----------------------------------
Reddit folks have been examining Boston photos, and have settled on two suspicious-looking dudes, mostly on the basis of the straps on their backpacks compared to FBI photos of the bomb bag. One reddit suspect is nicknamed "The Blue Robe Guy" (because "robe" is so much more sinister than "jacket").
I looked at one of the many photos of B.R.G., and about fell off my chair.
I'd swear that's my late husband Jay. Same color and texture of hair. In some other photos he looks very tall, like Jay. Same body type, slope from chest to little pot belly. Same face, in general. Same smile. Same rounded shoulders and neck thrust. Same slope at the back of his head. Jay kept his beard slightly longer, but hey! Beard! Jay also had that same white patch at his chin. Same nerdy look. He always carried a backpack in his hands, never on his back. The only difference is that Jay always wore glasses, could not wear contacts.
This IS Jay in his early 40s. He actually would have been 61 last month.
But I guess if you're a ghost, you don't need glasses any more. And you don't age.
.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
3717 Something to consider
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Anyway, the Boston bombing doesn't have "all the earmarks" of a Muslim terrorist organization. Anyone can get a pressure cooker. Anyone can find out how to build a bomb. There was no suicide bomber to ensure the timing. There was a second blast, but in the middle east it goes off in the same area to get the emergency responders, not a block away. So what "earmarks" are they talking about? What ethnicity is likely to be able to leave a large heavy package on the street with no one wondering about it?
It looks domestic to me.
It looks like a declaration of civil war.
.
Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason
is that you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Boston is famous for the Boston Tea Party.
- Yesterday was Patriot's Day in Massachusetts, celebrating the beginning of the uprising against the government of the time.
- Yesterday was tax day.
- Those idiots in the mountains out west, stockpiling weapons to fight the government, refusing to pay taxes, you know, that crew, had been passing a rumor that the Obama administration was going to "manufacture a disaster in April that will allow them to take away even more of our rights." April? Where did that come from?
Anyway, the Boston bombing doesn't have "all the earmarks" of a Muslim terrorist organization. Anyone can get a pressure cooker. Anyone can find out how to build a bomb. There was no suicide bomber to ensure the timing. There was a second blast, but in the middle east it goes off in the same area to get the emergency responders, not a block away. So what "earmarks" are they talking about? What ethnicity is likely to be able to leave a large heavy package on the street with no one wondering about it?
It looks domestic to me.
It looks like a declaration of civil war.
.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
3716 Sorry Sari Seller
Sunday, April 14, 2013
I would dearly love to use tussah silk saris for curtains. I'd need six for the living room, four for the dining room, and two or three for each of the larger bedrooms. I buy saris on eBay, where you can get beautiful, new, printed, silk saris for less than $30 including shipping, and fancy gold-threaded, embroidered, and/or beaded used saris for even less. Unfortunately, the saris in my price range tend to be unique in colors and patterns, and I don't want to mix patterns. I want them all to match on any one window.
It's next to impossible to find several matching saris for less than a few hundred dollars each.
So last night when I accidentally came across a seller who not only had close to a dozen NEW tussa silk saris in each of two patterns in colors that would work for me, I got really excited and placed bids on a bunch of them that were going to end overnight. I woke this morning to find that I had "won" all that I wanted --- but that my bids had been cancelled....
Duh? Why?
...because the seller had screwed up, and had listed the same two saris (one in each pattern) multiple times. She sent me a note that she really had only one of each, that I could have, but she'd have to cancel the others. I told her I can't use one of each. Cancel them all.
I am so very disappointed.
.
It is my firm belief that it is a mistake to hold firm beliefs.
-- Malaclypse the Younger --
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I would dearly love to use tussah silk saris for curtains. I'd need six for the living room, four for the dining room, and two or three for each of the larger bedrooms. I buy saris on eBay, where you can get beautiful, new, printed, silk saris for less than $30 including shipping, and fancy gold-threaded, embroidered, and/or beaded used saris for even less. Unfortunately, the saris in my price range tend to be unique in colors and patterns, and I don't want to mix patterns. I want them all to match on any one window.
It's next to impossible to find several matching saris for less than a few hundred dollars each.
So last night when I accidentally came across a seller who not only had close to a dozen NEW tussa silk saris in each of two patterns in colors that would work for me, I got really excited and placed bids on a bunch of them that were going to end overnight. I woke this morning to find that I had "won" all that I wanted --- but that my bids had been cancelled....
Duh? Why?
...because the seller had screwed up, and had listed the same two saris (one in each pattern) multiple times. She sent me a note that she really had only one of each, that I could have, but she'd have to cancel the others. I told her I can't use one of each. Cancel them all.
I am so very disappointed.
.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
3715 Some of my oldest friends
Saturday, April 13, 2013
I have no idea who gets credit for this. I'm passing it on because it made me laugh. Yup, I've got every one of them!
The internet didn’t originate any of the abhorrent behavior
you see on it. It just gave people an outlet for it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have no idea who gets credit for this. I'm passing it on because it made me laugh. Yup, I've got every one of them!
Friday, April 12, 2013
3714 Mother-in-laws
Friday, April 12, 2013
I just read an old online article about things mother-in-laws should never say to their son's wife. The comments were a litany of horror stories.
Got me thinking about my in-laws, and my relationship with SIL Hercules. I think with Ex#2's mother I had it about as bad as any of the horror stories, and I think I've been pretty good with Hercules.
----------------------------
Ex#1's mother was pretty much a nonentity. She was one of those quiet mouses. We had to be very careful around her, because if she sensed the least tension anywhere, she'd burst into tears and take to her bed. She reacted to everything like an abused puppy. She had grown up in an orphanage, a real honest-to-god orphanage! One of those dreary stone warehouses, and no one had ever been kind to her or taught her the things you have to know to function in life. I don't think she was bright enough to figure anything out herself. Although her occasional jobs had been as a waitress at lunch counters in places like Woolworths, she had never learned about cooking. Everything was boiled. She'd throw chicken breasts, skin and all, in a pot with no seasonings, and boil the hell out of them. Steaks were boiled. One day she asked if I'd like her to "boil some tea" for me, and sure enough, she threw a handful of tea bags in a stewpot, and boiled them for ten minutes. I had to drink it, or she'd have cried. (I suggested we add a bunch of ice and sugar and make iced tea.)
Very soon after Ex#1 and I divorced (and Ex#1 had remarried within six months to a woman with three children) Ex#1's father left her. As Ex#1 put it, "He didn't know it was so easy to change things!"
I felt SO guilty. I don't suppose things were too bad for her, because she had two doting married sons living close by, but I don't really know. I still feel sorry for her.
--------------------------
Ex#2's mother was my only real experience with a mother-in-law, and that was pretty bad.
When Ex#2 and I were dating, she went to mass every Wednesday and twice on Sunday. When we announced our engagement, she started going every single day. I naively thought she was just very religious. After we were married, she dropped to just Sundays, and when I asked him why, Ex#2 told me that she had been going to church every day to pray that he'd break up with me. She had always planned, since birth, for her oldest son to be a priest, so his marrying me was a blow. And worse, I was a divorcee. She had never said anything to him about any of that.
She hated me. (More, I think, than she hated the woman her father had married in his 70s after her mother had died. She despised her so much it scared me. I'd never seen such hate for no apparent reason.)
She was the most passive-aggressive person I've ever met. She never said anything nasty directly TO me (about me was a different story), but she made her feelings known.
She was a high-up sales rep in one of those companies that does home parties, selling jewelry. She recruited reps, who recruited their own team of reps, and everyone climbed the management tree. At the time I knew her, she had a huge territory, with over 200 people working directly under her. There were prizes for the highest sales figures, and at her level the prize was a Longines watch, solid gold. Note that the cheapest stainless steel and leather Longines today goes for over $1,200, and she was winning one, two, three gold watches a year.
She kept the first for herself. The second went to her daughter. Third to her foster daughter, then her other daughter-in-law, then her best friend, then her other best friend, then her cleaning lady.... At first I wasn't hurt. She'd known all those other people longer than me. I didn't understand until she started donating them to the church and the nursing home for their rummage sales. Note that the watch didn't matter to me so much. I'm very hard on watches. It was the outright snub. Especially since she made it a point to tell me what she'd done with the latest, and was annoyed that I didn't tll her what a wonderful person she was for donating them.
By the way, everybody in her small town thought she was the most wonderful person because she took in a series of foster children, worked to raise money for the local catholic nursing home, and handled the church clothing donations every year. What nobody seemed to notice is that the foster children were always teenage girls, who were expected to clean her house and take care of her kids. Even better than free housekeepers and babysitters, since she got paid to keep them. She stopped volunteering for the nursing home when the priest mentioned that they couldn't take people for free, no matter how much they had supported the home. And on several occasions, I'd seen her, her friends, her daughter, and the daughter's friends sorting through the clothing donations and taking things they liked.
We were expected to dance attendance on her at every holiday, family occasion, vacation, EVERY period of time off, and random weekends when summoned because she needed our help with some project, even after we had moved halfway across the country to St. Louis. Ex#2 was incapable of saying no. I went literally years without seeing my mother. He and I never had a vacation, except once when we went camping on a weekend. (P.S., I hate camping, but he refused to pay for a hotel.)
And every time we visited, she had jobs for us to do. We never had any kind of vacation, period. Worse, we had to work harder on office projects before we left, and then play frantic catch-up when we returned, so we NEEDED some break.
Every year after Christmas she had a dinner for her sales reps, where she handed out gifts to everyone, and additional special gifts to high sellers. Every year I spent my Christmas to New Year's "vacation" wrapping close to 300 gifts. I am very good at gift wrapping. I make sharp corners that I'm proud of. But what she gave me to wrap with was scraps of used paper (often on its third or fourth go-round) that she had saved and collected over the previous year - wrinkled, torn, with scraps of tape randomly stuck to it. The ribbon scraps were worse, and every package had to have ribbon. It killed my back. I hated doing it, but there was no getting out of it. Eleven years. At least I was able to hide in my wrapping corner on the floor for three days.
(It wasn't 'til I was much older that it occurred to me that I could have just bought several rolls of wrapping paper and ribbon on sale and taken them with me, although that would have been harder when we lived in Missouri and had to fly.)
I can't handle cold. I get chilblains. She always assigned us the bed in the attic. The dusty uninsulated attic. There were two unoccupied bedrooms downstairs (it was a big old south Jersey farmhouse) but we got the attic. And we had to keep the door closed "so the house wouldn't lose heat". One Christmas Ex#2 gave me a space heater so I could use it in the attic (yes, for Christmas, and so I didn't even have it for the three days we'd already been there). Our next visit, the space heater was gone. His mother mentioned offhandedly that she "may have given it to" so-and-so.
So many things, but those were the things that galled me the most. Well, actually, there was worse. After the divorce I was expected to send Daughter to visit for a month or more every summer. When Daughter came back from those visits, she was angry and sharp with me for another month. I'd turn around and find Daughter glaring at me. When she went to visit my mother in Florida, she was fine on return, but not the NJ grandmother. I wonder what they said to her about me.
She taught her son to be deathly passive, without the strength of aggression. Actually, that was the worst.
-----------------------------
Jay's mother died before we were married. His father was a roll-your-eyes frustrating handful, but never nasty. He even liked me a lot, more than Jay's ex, and said so.
-----------------------------
Anyone have any MIL stories of their own?
.
Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored.
--------------------------------------------------
I just read an old online article about things mother-in-laws should never say to their son's wife. The comments were a litany of horror stories.
Got me thinking about my in-laws, and my relationship with SIL Hercules. I think with Ex#2's mother I had it about as bad as any of the horror stories, and I think I've been pretty good with Hercules.
----------------------------
Ex#1's mother was pretty much a nonentity. She was one of those quiet mouses. We had to be very careful around her, because if she sensed the least tension anywhere, she'd burst into tears and take to her bed. She reacted to everything like an abused puppy. She had grown up in an orphanage, a real honest-to-god orphanage! One of those dreary stone warehouses, and no one had ever been kind to her or taught her the things you have to know to function in life. I don't think she was bright enough to figure anything out herself. Although her occasional jobs had been as a waitress at lunch counters in places like Woolworths, she had never learned about cooking. Everything was boiled. She'd throw chicken breasts, skin and all, in a pot with no seasonings, and boil the hell out of them. Steaks were boiled. One day she asked if I'd like her to "boil some tea" for me, and sure enough, she threw a handful of tea bags in a stewpot, and boiled them for ten minutes. I had to drink it, or she'd have cried. (I suggested we add a bunch of ice and sugar and make iced tea.)
Very soon after Ex#1 and I divorced (and Ex#1 had remarried within six months to a woman with three children) Ex#1's father left her. As Ex#1 put it, "He didn't know it was so easy to change things!"
I felt SO guilty. I don't suppose things were too bad for her, because she had two doting married sons living close by, but I don't really know. I still feel sorry for her.
--------------------------
Ex#2's mother was my only real experience with a mother-in-law, and that was pretty bad.
When Ex#2 and I were dating, she went to mass every Wednesday and twice on Sunday. When we announced our engagement, she started going every single day. I naively thought she was just very religious. After we were married, she dropped to just Sundays, and when I asked him why, Ex#2 told me that she had been going to church every day to pray that he'd break up with me. She had always planned, since birth, for her oldest son to be a priest, so his marrying me was a blow. And worse, I was a divorcee. She had never said anything to him about any of that.
She hated me. (More, I think, than she hated the woman her father had married in his 70s after her mother had died. She despised her so much it scared me. I'd never seen such hate for no apparent reason.)
She was the most passive-aggressive person I've ever met. She never said anything nasty directly TO me (about me was a different story), but she made her feelings known.
She was a high-up sales rep in one of those companies that does home parties, selling jewelry. She recruited reps, who recruited their own team of reps, and everyone climbed the management tree. At the time I knew her, she had a huge territory, with over 200 people working directly under her. There were prizes for the highest sales figures, and at her level the prize was a Longines watch, solid gold. Note that the cheapest stainless steel and leather Longines today goes for over $1,200, and she was winning one, two, three gold watches a year.
She kept the first for herself. The second went to her daughter. Third to her foster daughter, then her other daughter-in-law, then her best friend, then her other best friend, then her cleaning lady.... At first I wasn't hurt. She'd known all those other people longer than me. I didn't understand until she started donating them to the church and the nursing home for their rummage sales. Note that the watch didn't matter to me so much. I'm very hard on watches. It was the outright snub. Especially since she made it a point to tell me what she'd done with the latest, and was annoyed that I didn't tll her what a wonderful person she was for donating them.
By the way, everybody in her small town thought she was the most wonderful person because she took in a series of foster children, worked to raise money for the local catholic nursing home, and handled the church clothing donations every year. What nobody seemed to notice is that the foster children were always teenage girls, who were expected to clean her house and take care of her kids. Even better than free housekeepers and babysitters, since she got paid to keep them. She stopped volunteering for the nursing home when the priest mentioned that they couldn't take people for free, no matter how much they had supported the home. And on several occasions, I'd seen her, her friends, her daughter, and the daughter's friends sorting through the clothing donations and taking things they liked.
We were expected to dance attendance on her at every holiday, family occasion, vacation, EVERY period of time off, and random weekends when summoned because she needed our help with some project, even after we had moved halfway across the country to St. Louis. Ex#2 was incapable of saying no. I went literally years without seeing my mother. He and I never had a vacation, except once when we went camping on a weekend. (P.S., I hate camping, but he refused to pay for a hotel.)
And every time we visited, she had jobs for us to do. We never had any kind of vacation, period. Worse, we had to work harder on office projects before we left, and then play frantic catch-up when we returned, so we NEEDED some break.
Every year after Christmas she had a dinner for her sales reps, where she handed out gifts to everyone, and additional special gifts to high sellers. Every year I spent my Christmas to New Year's "vacation" wrapping close to 300 gifts. I am very good at gift wrapping. I make sharp corners that I'm proud of. But what she gave me to wrap with was scraps of used paper (often on its third or fourth go-round) that she had saved and collected over the previous year - wrinkled, torn, with scraps of tape randomly stuck to it. The ribbon scraps were worse, and every package had to have ribbon. It killed my back. I hated doing it, but there was no getting out of it. Eleven years. At least I was able to hide in my wrapping corner on the floor for three days.
(It wasn't 'til I was much older that it occurred to me that I could have just bought several rolls of wrapping paper and ribbon on sale and taken them with me, although that would have been harder when we lived in Missouri and had to fly.)
I can't handle cold. I get chilblains. She always assigned us the bed in the attic. The dusty uninsulated attic. There were two unoccupied bedrooms downstairs (it was a big old south Jersey farmhouse) but we got the attic. And we had to keep the door closed "so the house wouldn't lose heat". One Christmas Ex#2 gave me a space heater so I could use it in the attic (yes, for Christmas, and so I didn't even have it for the three days we'd already been there). Our next visit, the space heater was gone. His mother mentioned offhandedly that she "may have given it to" so-and-so.
So many things, but those were the things that galled me the most. Well, actually, there was worse. After the divorce I was expected to send Daughter to visit for a month or more every summer. When Daughter came back from those visits, she was angry and sharp with me for another month. I'd turn around and find Daughter glaring at me. When she went to visit my mother in Florida, she was fine on return, but not the NJ grandmother. I wonder what they said to her about me.
She taught her son to be deathly passive, without the strength of aggression. Actually, that was the worst.
-----------------------------
Jay's mother died before we were married. His father was a roll-your-eyes frustrating handful, but never nasty. He even liked me a lot, more than Jay's ex, and said so.
-----------------------------
Anyone have any MIL stories of their own?
.
Sunday, April 07, 2013
3713 Meme
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Accepting the challenge from http://becsagain.blogspot.com/2013/03/a-meme-meme-my-kingdom-for-meme.html and http://rockygrace.blogspot.com/2013/03/time-for-pop-quiz.html:
I'm supposed to start with 11 random facts about me. Blah. I've done that kind of thing in this blog multiple times over the years. There's nothing left.
Questions for those going forward (from RockyGrace):
1. What is one thing you failed at?
That's a philosophical question involving the definition of failure and individual response to it. I might intend to do or be something, and it doesn't work out, but I don't consider myself having failed at it. For example, the original intent was to be out of the country house and have it on the market by late summer of 2011. I'm nowhere near that. One might say I've failed. But I figure it's just the way it worked out. I guess I don't internalize failure, even when I could have done something to change the course of events. Like, there's a reason, exterior to me, for why it worked out that way. Sort of a fate thing. Maybe I just don't want anything that badly that I feel bad when I don't get it.
2. What is your favorite season?
Spring! Summer is second. I get depressed by fall, and hibernate in winter.
3. Do you ever wish you were someone else? If so, who?
No. I'd like to be taller, but I'd still be me.
4. Is one of your children your favorite?
I have only one.
5. How often do you change your sheets? (Hey, I'm just curious ...)
When I walk into the bedroom and say, "What's that smell?" Or when I'm expecting company. Otherwise, who cares?
6. If you won a hundred million dollars, what's the first thing you'd do? (Besides call a lawyer, obv.)
Move myself and Daughter's family to nicer houses in a nicer place, redecorate, set Daughter and her husband up so working is an interest, not a necessity, and then start researching charities.
7. What is one thing you're afraid of?
Something happening to Daughter or Nugget.
8. Do you have a family member you argue with? Other than the spouse/kids?
No. Not much family left. Sweet Sister is not someone anyone could argue with without feeling bad.
9. Have you ever intentionally physically hurt someone?
No. Not really. Daughter got her thigh slapped once. I slapped Jay once after he was bed bound, in a fit of frustration, but I slapped him on his left shoulder which he couldn't feel because of the brain tumor, but it left a hand-shaped red mark that flashed guilt at me for hours. None of those were intentional. Other than youthful battles with my brother, nope. Don't think so.
10. Ever broken someone's heart?
Probably several, including Ex#2. Sometimes you just have to do that.
11. What do you regard as the happiest moment of your life?
Wow. Many happy moments, but none stand out as the happiest. Maybe my first date with The Man. That was a full day of pretty incredible happy moments, one after another.
Questions for those going forward (from Becs):
1. If you don't like your name, what do you wish it was?
I don't particularly dislike my name. I just like "Silk" better.
2. How many pets have you had? Which was your favorite?
Cats: Snowflake, Smokey, Ciddy Kitty, Peggy, Tigger, Suzie, Miss Thunderfoot.
Dogs: Sparky, Puppy (Phaedra), Pretty, Ninja, Baby
Birds: Jakie (budgy), a pair of Easter chicks that grew up to be roosters, Mr. & Mrs. (lovebird pair), Robin and Birdie (robin and cow bird chicks raised from hatchlings to wild release)
Mice: Mousies 1, 2, and 3 (a series of them captured wild and tamed, until they got loose)
Fish: Tank full of unnamed guppies.
3. If you could travel back in time (and it would have to be back), when and where would you go and why?
Back to when I was working for IBM. I'd work less and pay more attention to life.
4. Is there a sport you're good at or wish you were good at?
Nope. No interest in most sports.
5. What movie must you always watch when you catch it, clicking through the cable channels?
None. Not that I don't watch any movie more than once, but nothing will grab me like that.
6. You have just been told you must grab your family and a few dear possessions and flee your house immediately. You will never go back to your homeland. Where do you go?
"Homeland" implies going outside the US? Hmmmm. Probably southern France.
7. If you believe in (a) god, have you ever felt his/her/its presence?
Not a god in the usual sense, but I have had some experiences that lead me to believe in an alternate existence, and an explanation for the purpose of our lives.
8. You have just been invited to speak before a joint session of Congress (or the ruling political body in the country where you live). The subject of the speech is up to you. What do you choose?
Congressional Term Limits.
9. Was George Bailey ("It's a Wonderful Life") a schmuck?
I hate that movie. In #5 above, that's one I click away from as fast as possible. As to George himself, no opinion.
10. Did you have a time in your life when you believed everything Ayn Rand wrote?
Who? Well, yeah, I know who. I read her novels sometime in the '60s, and I wasn't impressed. I didn't think I'd want to live in her world.
11. Who is your favorite relative, living or dead?
Nugget, of course.
Now I'm supposed to come up with 11 questions to pass on. Nah, I don't think I will. If you want to answer some questions, use the above.
.
You teach a dog not to do something. You teach a cat not to get caught doing something.
------------------------------
Accepting the challenge from http://becsagain.blogspot.com/2013/03/a-meme-meme-my-kingdom-for-meme.html and http://rockygrace.blogspot.com/2013/03/time-for-pop-quiz.html:
I'm supposed to start with 11 random facts about me. Blah. I've done that kind of thing in this blog multiple times over the years. There's nothing left.
Questions for those going forward (from RockyGrace):
1. What is one thing you failed at?
That's a philosophical question involving the definition of failure and individual response to it. I might intend to do or be something, and it doesn't work out, but I don't consider myself having failed at it. For example, the original intent was to be out of the country house and have it on the market by late summer of 2011. I'm nowhere near that. One might say I've failed. But I figure it's just the way it worked out. I guess I don't internalize failure, even when I could have done something to change the course of events. Like, there's a reason, exterior to me, for why it worked out that way. Sort of a fate thing. Maybe I just don't want anything that badly that I feel bad when I don't get it.
2. What is your favorite season?
Spring! Summer is second. I get depressed by fall, and hibernate in winter.
3. Do you ever wish you were someone else? If so, who?
No. I'd like to be taller, but I'd still be me.
4. Is one of your children your favorite?
I have only one.
5. How often do you change your sheets? (Hey, I'm just curious ...)
When I walk into the bedroom and say, "What's that smell?" Or when I'm expecting company. Otherwise, who cares?
6. If you won a hundred million dollars, what's the first thing you'd do? (Besides call a lawyer, obv.)
Move myself and Daughter's family to nicer houses in a nicer place, redecorate, set Daughter and her husband up so working is an interest, not a necessity, and then start researching charities.
7. What is one thing you're afraid of?
Something happening to Daughter or Nugget.
8. Do you have a family member you argue with? Other than the spouse/kids?
No. Not much family left. Sweet Sister is not someone anyone could argue with without feeling bad.
9. Have you ever intentionally physically hurt someone?
No. Not really. Daughter got her thigh slapped once. I slapped Jay once after he was bed bound, in a fit of frustration, but I slapped him on his left shoulder which he couldn't feel because of the brain tumor, but it left a hand-shaped red mark that flashed guilt at me for hours. None of those were intentional. Other than youthful battles with my brother, nope. Don't think so.
10. Ever broken someone's heart?
Probably several, including Ex#2. Sometimes you just have to do that.
11. What do you regard as the happiest moment of your life?
Wow. Many happy moments, but none stand out as the happiest. Maybe my first date with The Man. That was a full day of pretty incredible happy moments, one after another.
Questions for those going forward (from Becs):
1. If you don't like your name, what do you wish it was?
I don't particularly dislike my name. I just like "Silk" better.
2. How many pets have you had? Which was your favorite?
Cats: Snowflake, Smokey, Ciddy Kitty, Peggy, Tigger, Suzie, Miss Thunderfoot.
Dogs: Sparky, Puppy (Phaedra), Pretty, Ninja, Baby
Birds: Jakie (budgy), a pair of Easter chicks that grew up to be roosters, Mr. & Mrs. (lovebird pair), Robin and Birdie (robin and cow bird chicks raised from hatchlings to wild release)
Mice: Mousies 1, 2, and 3 (a series of them captured wild and tamed, until they got loose)
Fish: Tank full of unnamed guppies.
3. If you could travel back in time (and it would have to be back), when and where would you go and why?
Back to when I was working for IBM. I'd work less and pay more attention to life.
4. Is there a sport you're good at or wish you were good at?
Nope. No interest in most sports.
5. What movie must you always watch when you catch it, clicking through the cable channels?
None. Not that I don't watch any movie more than once, but nothing will grab me like that.
6. You have just been told you must grab your family and a few dear possessions and flee your house immediately. You will never go back to your homeland. Where do you go?
"Homeland" implies going outside the US? Hmmmm. Probably southern France.
7. If you believe in (a) god, have you ever felt his/her/its presence?
Not a god in the usual sense, but I have had some experiences that lead me to believe in an alternate existence, and an explanation for the purpose of our lives.
8. You have just been invited to speak before a joint session of Congress (or the ruling political body in the country where you live). The subject of the speech is up to you. What do you choose?
Congressional Term Limits.
9. Was George Bailey ("It's a Wonderful Life") a schmuck?
I hate that movie. In #5 above, that's one I click away from as fast as possible. As to George himself, no opinion.
10. Did you have a time in your life when you believed everything Ayn Rand wrote?
Who? Well, yeah, I know who. I read her novels sometime in the '60s, and I wasn't impressed. I didn't think I'd want to live in her world.
11. Who is your favorite relative, living or dead?
Nugget, of course.
Now I'm supposed to come up with 11 questions to pass on. Nah, I don't think I will. If you want to answer some questions, use the above.
.
3712 Light and bright
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Friday, the Nugget, Daughter, and I walked along the bay. The Nugget loves the sand at the beach, but since the hurricane you have to be very careful of bits of wood from smashed docks. They often have nails. That's worse than the usual broken glass.
Nugget picked up what looked like a small oblong rock but turned out to be a gray-green-brown chunk of solid dock foam. Nugget held it up to Daughter and asked, "Wa dis?" Daughter said, "Foam. That's foam."
Nugget looked confused, peered at it, poked at it, then put it up to her ear and said,
"Hello? Daddy?"
-----------------------------
The Easter bunny came!
Mostly bringing toys and stuffed bunnies. And jelly beans!
-----------------------------------
If you love lace, textiles, embroidery, vintage clothing, beautiful things, sometime when you have some time go to http://www.vintagetextile.com/edwardian.htm.
Click on the various periods across the top to look at other stuff from other periods. The "gallery" is full of items that have been sold.
Beautiful! They just don't make stuff like this any more.
.
Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself.
-- Joseph Campbell --
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, the Nugget, Daughter, and I walked along the bay. The Nugget loves the sand at the beach, but since the hurricane you have to be very careful of bits of wood from smashed docks. They often have nails. That's worse than the usual broken glass.
Nugget picked up what looked like a small oblong rock but turned out to be a gray-green-brown chunk of solid dock foam. Nugget held it up to Daughter and asked, "Wa dis?" Daughter said, "Foam. That's foam."
Nugget looked confused, peered at it, poked at it, then put it up to her ear and said,
"Hello? Daddy?"
-----------------------------
The Easter bunny came!
-----------------------------------
If you love lace, textiles, embroidery, vintage clothing, beautiful things, sometime when you have some time go to http://www.vintagetextile.com/edwardian.htm.
Click on the various periods across the top to look at other stuff from other periods. The "gallery" is full of items that have been sold.
Beautiful! They just don't make stuff like this any more.
.
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
3711 Baked beans?
Tuesday, March 2, 2013
The past few days I've been having a problem with excessive underarm odor. Washing doesn't seem to make a difference; neither does antiperspirant. My clothing quickly picks up the odor and retains it.
My activity level hasn't changed. There's no sweat, I'm dry. The only thing that has changed is that I am eating a lot more fruits and vegetables and a lot less meat. (Except beans. I don't like beans and rarely eat them.)
I don't understand.
What's really weird is that it doesn't smell like normal perspiration --- it smells like beans. Barbeque baked beans.
-----------------------------
I'm eating more veggies because I've discovered a farmer's market.
It's not really what I, a country girl, would normally think of as a farmer's market - a weekend affair, outdoors, with booths manned by local farmers selling their own produce. It's actually like a large grocery store, indoors, open every day, heaps of produce in huge bins, and they are selling a lot of stuff that couldn't possibly have been grown locally at this time of year.
At the A&P, blueberries are ridiculously expensive, like almost $5 a pint. At the farmer's market, although prices fluctuate, I have been able to get a quart of blueberries for less than $2. Everything is so much cheaper, and so much fresher, and there's a huge variety, some stuff I'd never heard of before.
I've found that what I buy there is ripe, and lasts longer in the refrigerator, possibly because it's handled/bruised less.
Last trip I bought two pints of blueberries, three apples, two oranges, two baby eggplants, a huge bunch of asparagus (about 40 stalks, took me five meals to eat it all), baby bok choy, kale, carrots, two large sweet onions, big brown mushrooms, ruffled tree mushrooms, snow peas, two small zucchini, a cucumber, five little things that look like sweet potatoes or yams, but they're dark red on the outside and creamy white inside, baby spinach, five tomatoes "on the vine", a loaf of poppy seed filled bread, a loaf of chocolate-filled bread, and I've probably left something off that list. My bill came to less than $25.
That was about 10 days ago, and I haven't finished it all yet. I'll have a stir-fry for lunch.
Oh, and in the back they have a polish deli, with pickle barrels! I bought some half-sours. I LOVE half-sours, and they're difficult to find anywhere these days.
Daughter is worried that I'm not getting enough protein, but you really don't need high quality protein (like meat or beans or soy) more than once or twice a week, and I get enough lower quality in the yogurt and cheeses I eat every day.
Seems like with all that chlorophyll I shouldn't smell at all, let alone like barbeque baked beans.
------------------------------
Becs: http://www.yelp.com/biz/route-9-farmers-market-inc-south-amboy. They get crowded after work and on weekends, but reviewers say it's still worth it. There's an excellent Thai restaurant next door.
.
The art to April Fools’ Day is to come up with pranks that aren’t in the least
cruel, but are funny and interesting. It CAN be done, but
being mean is easier,
and dumber.
-- Ian Osmond --
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The past few days I've been having a problem with excessive underarm odor. Washing doesn't seem to make a difference; neither does antiperspirant. My clothing quickly picks up the odor and retains it.
My activity level hasn't changed. There's no sweat, I'm dry. The only thing that has changed is that I am eating a lot more fruits and vegetables and a lot less meat. (Except beans. I don't like beans and rarely eat them.)
I don't understand.
What's really weird is that it doesn't smell like normal perspiration --- it smells like beans. Barbeque baked beans.
-----------------------------
I'm eating more veggies because I've discovered a farmer's market.
It's not really what I, a country girl, would normally think of as a farmer's market - a weekend affair, outdoors, with booths manned by local farmers selling their own produce. It's actually like a large grocery store, indoors, open every day, heaps of produce in huge bins, and they are selling a lot of stuff that couldn't possibly have been grown locally at this time of year.
At the A&P, blueberries are ridiculously expensive, like almost $5 a pint. At the farmer's market, although prices fluctuate, I have been able to get a quart of blueberries for less than $2. Everything is so much cheaper, and so much fresher, and there's a huge variety, some stuff I'd never heard of before.
I've found that what I buy there is ripe, and lasts longer in the refrigerator, possibly because it's handled/bruised less.
Last trip I bought two pints of blueberries, three apples, two oranges, two baby eggplants, a huge bunch of asparagus (about 40 stalks, took me five meals to eat it all), baby bok choy, kale, carrots, two large sweet onions, big brown mushrooms, ruffled tree mushrooms, snow peas, two small zucchini, a cucumber, five little things that look like sweet potatoes or yams, but they're dark red on the outside and creamy white inside, baby spinach, five tomatoes "on the vine", a loaf of poppy seed filled bread, a loaf of chocolate-filled bread, and I've probably left something off that list. My bill came to less than $25.
That was about 10 days ago, and I haven't finished it all yet. I'll have a stir-fry for lunch.
Oh, and in the back they have a polish deli, with pickle barrels! I bought some half-sours. I LOVE half-sours, and they're difficult to find anywhere these days.
Daughter is worried that I'm not getting enough protein, but you really don't need high quality protein (like meat or beans or soy) more than once or twice a week, and I get enough lower quality in the yogurt and cheeses I eat every day.
Seems like with all that chlorophyll I shouldn't smell at all, let alone like barbeque baked beans.
------------------------------
Becs: http://www.yelp.com/biz/route-9-farmers-market-inc-south-amboy. They get crowded after work and on weekends, but reviewers say it's still worth it. There's an excellent Thai restaurant next door.
.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
3710 If I should suddenly disappear...
Sunday, March 31, 2013
I may have started a war.
I bought a pin (brooch) on eBay, item number 380599269925. There was a photo. The pin looked nice. The enlargement looked like the pin probably needed a good cleaning.
Other than the title, "Grandmas estate beautiful flower brooch", there was no further description of the particular pin. The seller claims that the items he/she sells come from Grandma's estate,
and so on. 500-1000 items per week? From Grandma's estate? Well, it does say "stores". Maybe she sold jewelry.
There were only two bids. I got it for $1.25, plus shipping. I also bought another pin from the same seller.
He/she combines shipping. From the description,
Most sellers have eBay automatically calculate combined shipping. When I looked at this seller's invoice, shipping had not been combined. So I sent an email asking for a new invoice with combined shipping, pointing out the discrepancy in the two versions in the description, and saying that I expected to pay $3.95. (The description, by the way, is a contract, and under contract law errors are to the detriment of the party who drew up the contract.)
He/she changed the invoice, with $4.50 for shipping.
I was pissed, but decided it wasn't worth fighting over $.55, since eBay complaint forms don't address this problem, so it would be a pain to report it. However, I didn't pay immediately (I usually pay within minutes). The seller obviously uses the exact same template for every item, changing only the photo and the title. So I waited to see if new listings had been corrected, or if they still had two different shipping offers.
Hmmmm. The seller did not bother to fix the problem.
After several days checking to see if the seller had decided what to charge, and seeing no correction on new items, I paid, and waited for the pins to arrive.
One pin was beautiful. The other, also described as "beautiful", was pure crap. There was no silver plating remaining on the base metal (yeah, silver, even though the photo looks like gold-tone), except for a tiny spot on the very tip of the leaf closest to the flower. From the photo, it looked like the enamel on the blossom was ok, with silver edges on the petals, and spots of dirt here and there. In actuality, the enamel is mostly gone, large areas of pitting on the petals. The thing is pure crap. Junk. I'd be embarrassed to put it up for sale.
So now it's time to leave feedback. I am certainly not leaving a positive. That leaves neutral or negative.
I did a little research on this seller. He/she purchases those large volume lots of scrap jewelry on eBay, lots usually listed as "for parts and repair". I suspect he/she is reselling what other sellers consider crap. And it appears that "Grandma" is eBay.
The seller already has a slew of Negs, many complaints of buyers having to pay two-way shipping for crap.
He/she does accept returns. Most eBay sellers will refund the item price if you aren't satisfied, but do not refund the shipping, and require that the buyer pay the return shipping - UNLESS they sent the wrong item, or it was grossly misrepresented, then they will accept those costs. This seller says the buyer has to pay to return the item, and only the bid will be refunded. No apparent shipping refund just because you don't like it. So if I return it, I will end up paying the two shipping costs for a piece of crap.
After a lot of thought, I left what is only my second negative feedback in 16 years and over 3800 purchases on eBay: "Photo is deceptive, no description, pin is crap, I refuse to pay return postage."
The seller freaked.
He/she has formally requested through eBay that I change my feedback, and sent this note:
"Her" things? Oh, well.
So I went to eBay's feedback change page, and checked the box that said no change, feedback is accurate. It's interesting that the seller claimed to eBay that I had contacted him/her and said I'd left the Neg in error and I wanted to change it. All the more reason not to.
So why am I worried about disappearing? The seller has my address. He/she lives about 20 minutes up the road.
I have already moved the van out of the driveway, so it won't be associated with this address. Unfortunately, I can't disassociate MYSELF from this address.
.
"'Wrong' is one of those concepts that depends on witnesses."
-- Scott Adams --
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may have started a war.
I bought a pin (brooch) on eBay, item number 380599269925. There was a photo. The pin looked nice. The enlargement looked like the pin probably needed a good cleaning.
Other than the title, "Grandmas estate beautiful flower brooch", there was no further description of the particular pin. The seller claims that the items he/she sells come from Grandma's estate,
All items are in 100% greatshape - crack & chip free! All of her lovely things are100% guaranteed to be loved.I list 500 - 1000 new pieces of her jewelry from herstores and estate every week. She loved to collectjewelry.
and so on. 500-1000 items per week? From Grandma's estate? Well, it does say "stores". Maybe she sold jewelry.
There were only two bids. I got it for $1.25, plus shipping. I also bought another pin from the same seller.
He/she combines shipping. From the description,
However, later in the description,1 ITEM @ REGULAR COST
2 - 5 ITEMS $4.506 or MORE, PRIORITY MAIL
Hmmmm. So how much postage will I be paying for the two items?1 item shipped @ regular cost.
2 - 5 items for $3.956 or more will be shipped Priority Mail.
Most sellers have eBay automatically calculate combined shipping. When I looked at this seller's invoice, shipping had not been combined. So I sent an email asking for a new invoice with combined shipping, pointing out the discrepancy in the two versions in the description, and saying that I expected to pay $3.95. (The description, by the way, is a contract, and under contract law errors are to the detriment of the party who drew up the contract.)
He/she changed the invoice, with $4.50 for shipping.
I was pissed, but decided it wasn't worth fighting over $.55, since eBay complaint forms don't address this problem, so it would be a pain to report it. However, I didn't pay immediately (I usually pay within minutes). The seller obviously uses the exact same template for every item, changing only the photo and the title. So I waited to see if new listings had been corrected, or if they still had two different shipping offers.
Hmmmm. The seller did not bother to fix the problem.
After several days checking to see if the seller had decided what to charge, and seeing no correction on new items, I paid, and waited for the pins to arrive.
One pin was beautiful. The other, also described as "beautiful", was pure crap. There was no silver plating remaining on the base metal (yeah, silver, even though the photo looks like gold-tone), except for a tiny spot on the very tip of the leaf closest to the flower. From the photo, it looked like the enamel on the blossom was ok, with silver edges on the petals, and spots of dirt here and there. In actuality, the enamel is mostly gone, large areas of pitting on the petals. The thing is pure crap. Junk. I'd be embarrassed to put it up for sale.
So now it's time to leave feedback. I am certainly not leaving a positive. That leaves neutral or negative.
I did a little research on this seller. He/she purchases those large volume lots of scrap jewelry on eBay, lots usually listed as "for parts and repair". I suspect he/she is reselling what other sellers consider crap. And it appears that "Grandma" is eBay.
The seller already has a slew of Negs, many complaints of buyers having to pay two-way shipping for crap.
He/she does accept returns. Most eBay sellers will refund the item price if you aren't satisfied, but do not refund the shipping, and require that the buyer pay the return shipping - UNLESS they sent the wrong item, or it was grossly misrepresented, then they will accept those costs. This seller says the buyer has to pay to return the item, and only the bid will be refunded. No apparent shipping refund just because you don't like it. So if I return it, I will end up paying the two shipping costs for a piece of crap.
After a lot of thought, I left what is only my second negative feedback in 16 years and over 3800 purchases on eBay: "Photo is deceptive, no description, pin is crap, I refuse to pay return postage."
The seller freaked.
He/she has formally requested through eBay that I change my feedback, and sent this note:
hi there
if you not happy with an item just email me and i will be more the happy to refund you there is never a reason for bad feedback .. i will be more then happy to refund you and you no need to send back .. if your worry about shipping price back.. that is fine. all i care about is everyone loveing her things
not in it for the money. the kids get that
so pleaseee fix my ratings and email me i will be more then happy to refund you
god bless
scott and the twins
"Her" things? Oh, well.
So I went to eBay's feedback change page, and checked the box that said no change, feedback is accurate. It's interesting that the seller claimed to eBay that I had contacted him/her and said I'd left the Neg in error and I wanted to change it. All the more reason not to.
So why am I worried about disappearing? The seller has my address. He/she lives about 20 minutes up the road.
I have already moved the van out of the driveway, so it won't be associated with this address. Unfortunately, I can't disassociate MYSELF from this address.
.
3709 Stolen quotes
Sunday, March 31, 2013
I found these on DanSix4Smith's Facebook whatsis. I don't know whether he wrote them, original to him, or whether he finds them, like I do with my green quotes. Whatever. I like them.
When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I found these on DanSix4Smith's Facebook whatsis. I don't know whether he wrote them, original to him, or whether he finds them, like I do with my green quotes. Whatever. I like them.
The most important decisions are not to be made with the mind; they are to be made with the heart. So when you have an important decision to make, check in with how you feel, not how you think. The heart speaks truth, while the mind can get confused from the many thoughts and programs the world expects you to assimilate.
Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequency rather than absorb the frequencies around you, when you start imprinting your intent on the universe rather than receiving the imprint from existence. In other words pay attention to your attitude & ways before you point the finger or blame someone. You control your thoughts & emotions not others.
When you strike out, you always strike in. Any weapon you use to strike, - clenched hand, angry voice, closed heart withholding love, - is double-sided with one edge always cutting deep into yourself. Sometimes a weapon is necessary, but use it wisely, and remember that the cost of using one are your own wounds.
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. Worrying, you get stuck going over the same things over and over again without making any progress. Instead, spend some time with nature to calm your mind and feed your soul.
Your body speaks the truth. When in doubt, ignore the thoughts in your mind, and pay attention to your body, - it doesn't lie.
Everyone has their own rhythm of living, - for some it's faster, for other it's slower. When you are forced to live outside your own rhythm, it is exhausting. Remember to keep coming back to your own rhythm.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
3708 Phish hook?
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Actual Subject line and content of an email received today -
Gee, do you think it might be fake?
.
Contempt is the weapon of the weak and a defense against one's own
despised and unwanted feelings.
-- Alice Miller, psychologist and author (1923-2010) --
----------------------------------------------------------
Actual Subject line and content of an email received today -
Aol.com your accont is loked
(followed by a bogus link to AOL security.)
Gee, do you think it might be fake?
.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
3707 Geography
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet .
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
BTW, if anyone forwards me stuff in an email, if it didn't originate with them, I click NO links, even if I recognize the website linked, because it's too easy to disguise the link. If there's a video imbedded in the email, I won't play it unless I'm certain it's from youtube.com or vimeo.com, because nasty code can be downloaded in videos.
Friends should always tell you the truth. But please don’t.
-- Loius C. K. --
---------------------------------------------
This had been forwarded by my sister.
The Geography of a Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet .
Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.
An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran ,
ruled by a pair of nuts.
ruled by a pair of nuts.
-----------------------------------------------
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
3706 Dangling
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
From Gullible.info: On average, 4.3 storms per year are referred to as "the storm of the century".
Gullible.info's statistics appear out of nowhere and are unverifiable, but this one I believe, and I don't think I'm the gullible party.
---------------------------
I found this today, in an article written for the Wall Street Journal law blog:
Again, this is from a professional reporter for a highly respected newspaper. Apparently schools are also no longer teaching about dangling participles, the worst mistake in grammar a reporter of facts can make.
I rest my case. Clear communication is officially dead.
.
A common mistake that people make when trying to
design something completely foolproof is to underestimate
the ingenuity of complete fools.
-- Douglas Adams --
---------------------------------------------------
From Gullible.info: On average, 4.3 storms per year are referred to as "the storm of the century".
Gullible.info's statistics appear out of nowhere and are unverifiable, but this one I believe, and I don't think I'm the gullible party.
---------------------------
I found this today, in an article written for the Wall Street Journal law blog:
Federal prosecutors accused Mr. Keys last week of helping and encouraging Anonymous hackers to deface the website of the Los Angeles Times. After leaking log-in credentials for a server operated by the paper’s parent company, a hacker vandalized the headline and a paragraph in a story about a tax-cut package, said prosecutors.In that second sentence, who leaked the credentials? Mr. Keys or the hacker? [Correct answer: Keyes, but the sentence says the hacker leaked the info.]
Again, this is from a professional reporter for a highly respected newspaper. Apparently schools are also no longer teaching about dangling participles, the worst mistake in grammar a reporter of facts can make.
I rest my case. Clear communication is officially dead.
.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
3705 Influence
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
The green quote above is from the 1943 Disney short (8:48) "Chicken Little", at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vnp4kj5lLOU. It's definitely not the Chicken Little we all knew. It's very political, and very much relevant to today's politics, although when it came out, I suspect it wasn't supposed to be about us.
It's scary.
---------------------------
A lot of people think this next video is cute. I find it sad. There's no proof that the little guy did it, but there does seem to be evidence that he's not at the cool kids' table, and he knows it. That may be what's actually going on. Maybe he's sad and resigned and maybe a bit afraid, not guilty.
[http://youtu.be/_kLdO3EsECs]
Notice the ingratiating grin at the very beginning? Dogs who have been abused will react like that when anybody raises their voice.
Opinions?
.
"To influence the masses, aim first at the least intelligent. ...
Undermine the faith of the masses in their leaders."
-- Foxy Loxy, in Disney's 1943 "Chicken Little" --
----------------------------------------------------------------
The green quote above is from the 1943 Disney short (8:48) "Chicken Little", at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vnp4kj5lLOU. It's definitely not the Chicken Little we all knew. It's very political, and very much relevant to today's politics, although when it came out, I suspect it wasn't supposed to be about us.
It's scary.
---------------------------
A lot of people think this next video is cute. I find it sad. There's no proof that the little guy did it, but there does seem to be evidence that he's not at the cool kids' table, and he knows it. That may be what's actually going on. Maybe he's sad and resigned and maybe a bit afraid, not guilty.
[http://youtu.be/_kLdO3EsECs]
Notice the ingratiating grin at the very beginning? Dogs who have been abused will react like that when anybody raises their voice.
Opinions?
.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
3704 Worthless gleanings from around the web
Saturday, March 14, 2013
This post is bits and pieces of things I've found.
---------------------------------
Have you heard about the Iowa female dental assistant who was fired because the dentist's wife thought she was too attractive? The dentist had said some inappropriate things to her, mild sexual harassment, and the two had engaged in some innocent texting outside office hours, but I don't think the (married) assistant had any idea what was going on in the dentist's head. The wife did. I suspect the dentist mentioned her too often at home, and that worried the wife, so she insisted that he get rid of the assistant. The dentist went to his pastor, who advised him to get rid of her, so he did.
The dentist's attitude is, "I sexually harassed you, therefore I have to terminate your job to stop sexually harassing you. You will be missed."
The assistant sued for sexual discrimination in her firing, and the Iowa supreme court found for the dentist! Story at http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/iowa-court-oks-firing-female-worker-irresistibly-attractive-article-1.1226068.
--------------------------------------
Effects of digital connectivity:
Anomie - social instability resulting from a breakdown of standards and values; personal unrest, alienation, and uncertainty that comes from a lack of purpose or ideals.
Nihilism - a viewpoint that traditional values and beliefs are unfounded and that existence is senseless and useless; a doctrine that denies any objective ground of truth and especially of moral truths; a doctrine or belief that conditions in the social organization are so bad as to make destruction desirable for its own sake independent of any constructive program or possibility.
--------------------------------------
Regarding that rape story out of Steubenville, Ohio, I am shocked and saddened that so many people believe that "digitally raped" means the guy penetrated her with his cell phone.
---------------------------------------
You know how when you make an online purchase you can opt in or out of getting email updates or the store newsletter? I always look for that, and I always check NO.
I always still get the damn things. That's gotta be illegal. Who would I report it to?
---------------------------------------
People who brag that they've never had any psychological counseling annoy me. It's like people with a mouthful of rotting stumps bragging that they've never been to a dentist.
----------------------------------------
This is pretty cool.
Hasidic rap:
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8ULIw0Zgaw]
-------------------------------------
Funny cringe-worthy item on Amazon.com. Read the customer reviews.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000WCW4FK/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000WCW4FK&linkCode=as2&tag=natdee-20
--------------------------------------
This is the Weeping Prophet's dating video.
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9latbDpu5s&feature=youtu.be]
---------------------------------------
I am ashamed to pass this little item along. Because then you know I watched it. Several times. On the other hand, how can I not share it? There's no way to describe it. On YouTube it says, "No description available." Sums it up nicely.
The following is a selection of comments on the thing, from YouTube and Cracked.com. Read these comments before you watch the video. Um, absolutely not safe for work (even muted- the sound is necessary), or for children or square fogies in the vicinity. Everybody but the Queen should watch it in privacy. (The Queen probably won't care if her reputation is destroyed.) The song is catchy, and there's a danger that it will become an earworm if you are prone to that, and you must must must resist.
Comments:
IF YOU ACTUALLY WATCHED THAT LAST VIDEO, yeah, that one just above, the one that asks your age before allowing you through, CONFESS IN A COMMENT!
.
Chinese Proverb: "We are fools whether or not we dance, so we might as well dance."
------------------------------------------------------------------
This post is bits and pieces of things I've found.
---------------------------------
Have you heard about the Iowa female dental assistant who was fired because the dentist's wife thought she was too attractive? The dentist had said some inappropriate things to her, mild sexual harassment, and the two had engaged in some innocent texting outside office hours, but I don't think the (married) assistant had any idea what was going on in the dentist's head. The wife did. I suspect the dentist mentioned her too often at home, and that worried the wife, so she insisted that he get rid of the assistant. The dentist went to his pastor, who advised him to get rid of her, so he did.
The dentist's attitude is, "I sexually harassed you, therefore I have to terminate your job to stop sexually harassing you. You will be missed."
The assistant sued for sexual discrimination in her firing, and the Iowa supreme court found for the dentist! Story at http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/iowa-court-oks-firing-female-worker-irresistibly-attractive-article-1.1226068.
--------------------------------------
Effects of digital connectivity:
Anomie - social instability resulting from a breakdown of standards and values; personal unrest, alienation, and uncertainty that comes from a lack of purpose or ideals.
Nihilism - a viewpoint that traditional values and beliefs are unfounded and that existence is senseless and useless; a doctrine that denies any objective ground of truth and especially of moral truths; a doctrine or belief that conditions in the social organization are so bad as to make destruction desirable for its own sake independent of any constructive program or possibility.
--------------------------------------
Regarding that rape story out of Steubenville, Ohio, I am shocked and saddened that so many people believe that "digitally raped" means the guy penetrated her with his cell phone.
---------------------------------------
You know how when you make an online purchase you can opt in or out of getting email updates or the store newsletter? I always look for that, and I always check NO.
I always still get the damn things. That's gotta be illegal. Who would I report it to?
---------------------------------------
People who brag that they've never had any psychological counseling annoy me. It's like people with a mouthful of rotting stumps bragging that they've never been to a dentist.
----------------------------------------
This is pretty cool.
Hasidic rap:
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8ULIw0Zgaw]
-------------------------------------
Funny cringe-worthy item on Amazon.com. Read the customer reviews.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000WCW4FK/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000WCW4FK&linkCode=as2&tag=natdee-20
--------------------------------------
This is the Weeping Prophet's dating video.
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9latbDpu5s&feature=youtu.be]
---------------------------------------
I am ashamed to pass this little item along. Because then you know I watched it. Several times. On the other hand, how can I not share it? There's no way to describe it. On YouTube it says, "No description available." Sums it up nicely.
The following is a selection of comments on the thing, from YouTube and Cracked.com. Read these comments before you watch the video. Um, absolutely not safe for work (even muted- the sound is necessary), or for children or square fogies in the vicinity. Everybody but the Queen should watch it in privacy. (The Queen probably won't care if her reputation is destroyed.) The song is catchy, and there's a danger that it will become an earworm if you are prone to that, and you must must must resist.
Comments:
This is a few guns short of being the most American thing on the internet.It's at http://youtu.be/mSnRq6iyHKg. If you've already seen Captain America in a thong singing "Quack Like a Duck" and it scarred you forever, you might not want to go there.
The bassist seems to be thinking, "Oh god, this is going on the internet, isn't it? Yep, this is going on the internet."
I say we let Texas secede
Ahhhh.... What a love song! What lyrical prose! The official love song of the crystal meth generation!
My IQ hurts after watching this. I may be screwed up, but the first thing I thought was "Why ain't there a guitar player?"
A Tomahawk missile would have been a perfect finish. Just blow them all up.
Where the f**k was this when I was looking for wedding procession songs?
I've listened to this song about 10 times now. I can feel myself just falling down the the ladder of success. I also can't get this thong off that magically grew on me.
IF YOU ACTUALLY WATCHED THAT LAST VIDEO, yeah, that one just above, the one that asks your age before allowing you through, CONFESS IN A COMMENT!
.
3703 The demise of communication
Saturday, March 16, 2013
There's a guy running around loose out there who has been advocating for decades (predating texting and tweeting) that we do away with "correct" spelling, that instead, all spelling should be phonetic, and furthermore that there be no "correct" phonetic spelling, but that everyone should spell a word exactly as they pronounce it.
Gah! Despite his years of advocacy I don't think he has thought it through. What about regional accents? How would you look up the meaning of an unfamiliar word? Assuming that you could figure out the word anyway? Could a Bostonian understand a note from Arkansas?
I found the article by him a few weeks ago, and of course now I can't find it again. When I searched for it today I found several articles about schools that no longer teach spelling. The theory is that kids will naturally absorb spelling in their reading materials.
Yeah, sure. Bull poopy.
Phonics is essential to learning to read and to pronunciation. Often it helps with "correct" spelling. But given the way people routinely mispronounce even simple words (library/liberry, athletics/altheletics/atletics, etc.) if you allow people to spell words the way they (themselves, individually) pronounce them (libry? liebree? lybree? libery? lybreree?), we won't be able to fully understand anything anyone writes. If the spelling of a word isn't standardized, it would be so much work to read the written word that eventually people would give up reading.
And yes, the guy really does mean individually invented spelling - no standard phonetic combination of letters for a particular phoneme, which would result in "correct" spelling of a word again, which he doesn't want..
-------------------------------
From Through the Looking Glass, by Lewis Carroll:
At this rate, no one will be able to understand what anyone else really means, ever.
.
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong
and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when
a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong
it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
-- Douglas Adams --
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a guy running around loose out there who has been advocating for decades (predating texting and tweeting) that we do away with "correct" spelling, that instead, all spelling should be phonetic, and furthermore that there be no "correct" phonetic spelling, but that everyone should spell a word exactly as they pronounce it.
Gah! Despite his years of advocacy I don't think he has thought it through. What about regional accents? How would you look up the meaning of an unfamiliar word? Assuming that you could figure out the word anyway? Could a Bostonian understand a note from Arkansas?
I found the article by him a few weeks ago, and of course now I can't find it again. When I searched for it today I found several articles about schools that no longer teach spelling. The theory is that kids will naturally absorb spelling in their reading materials.
Yeah, sure. Bull poopy.
Phonics is essential to learning to read and to pronunciation. Often it helps with "correct" spelling. But given the way people routinely mispronounce even simple words (library/liberry, athletics/altheletics/atletics, etc.) if you allow people to spell words the way they (themselves, individually) pronounce them (libry? liebree? lybree? libery? lybreree?), we won't be able to fully understand anything anyone writes. If the spelling of a word isn't standardized, it would be so much work to read the written word that eventually people would give up reading.
And yes, the guy really does mean individually invented spelling - no standard phonetic combination of letters for a particular phoneme, which would result in "correct" spelling of a word again, which he doesn't want..
-------------------------------
From Through the Looking Glass, by Lewis Carroll:
'But "glory" doesn't mean "a nice knock-down argument",' Alice objected.I am distressed by the large number of professional writers, educators, and presenters who seem to think Humpty had something there - that a word can mean whatever you mean it to mean. Unfortunately, that leaves the folks who do know what the word is supposed to mean wondering what the user means. If you know what I mean.
'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.'
'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things.'
'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master — that's all.'
Alice was too much puzzled to say anything; so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. 'They've a temper, some of them — particularly verbs: they're the proudest — adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs — however, I can manage the whole lot of them! Impenetrability! That's what I say!'
'Would you tell me please,' said Alice, 'what that means?'
'Now you talk like a reasonable child,' said Humpty Dumpty, looking very much pleased. 'I meant by "impenetrability" that we've had enough of that subject, and it would be just as well if you'd mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you don't mean to stop here all the rest of your life.'
'That's a great deal to make one word mean,' Alice said in a thoughtful tone.
'When I make a word do a lot of work like that,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'I always pay it extra.'
At this rate, no one will be able to understand what anyone else really means, ever.
.
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