3238 My strange relationship with coffee

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

A girl has to have a life goal before she starts dating boys, or boys become the goal.

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I read somewhere that coffee can contribute to the formation of kidney stones.

I have a strange relationship with coffee.

I like coffee ice cream, and chocolate covered coffee beans, and the Starbucks frappuccino that comes in the little bottles in the corner store (which doesn't actually taste like coffee).

I intensely dislike brewed coffee of any kind, and especially Starbucks brewed - it tastes burned, and too acid. I intensely dislike the smell of brewed coffee in the morning. It can make me feel sick. The simple smell will make my stomach roil and fill with acid. Extended exposure to the smell can cause diarrhea. That could have been a major problem when I was working. Luckily, I had a private office with full walls and a door, some distance from the coffee machine. After about 10 am I could handle the smell better.

So, do I like coffee or not? Some people say I like bad coffee and don't like good coffee.

Over the past three years I've developed a morning taste for very bad coffee. I have three cups of it almost every morning. I love my personal mix:
1 well rounded teaspoon of store-brand instant coffee (the usual for one cup),
1 super-heaped teaspoon of Coffee-Mate sugar free French Vanilla (enough for 1.5 cups of coffee),
3 cups of boiling water
Make it in a teapot.
Yummy. It's delicious, and has none of the bad effects on my digestive system.

So, if the doctor asks how many cups of coffee I drink per day, what do I say? It might be three cups, but it's the equivalent of one. And do I count the occasional orgy of chocolate-covered coffee beans?
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