Me: There is negative perfectionism and positive perfectionism.
Negative perfectionism is based on a fear of inadequacy.
Positive perfectionism strives for mastery.
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I was building more draft posts with the green quotes, and I came across this one, from Diane Vaughn, from her book Uncoupling:
This experience is shared by every person who travels to a foreign country.... Difference, not distance, is the critical factor. Returning, the traveler evaluates the familiar with a newly acquired comparative ability. The result is often a disease [in the dis-ease sense], a sense of lack of fit, because the traveler has had an experience the others haven't. The traveler can perhaps describe it, but as an experience it is unshareable because it has changed the traveler in ways not obvious to the others, and describing it will not similarly change the others.
Actually, that's true of all experiences. True of travel to a foreign culture, but also of travel through life.
You can tell someone about something that happened to you, but no matter what it was, no matter how fully you describe the experience and its effects, no matter how common the experience is, no one else will ever fully understand. The other may have had a similar experience, and felt similar feelings, but the context is always different.
They will never fully understand. They will never understand how it changed you.
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