1550 So, How's It Going?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Yeah, I'm not writing about people and relationships much lately. That's on purpose.

Another blogger asked people to say whether they were happier now than five years ago. He got nineteen comments, and of the nineteen, seventeen said they were happier. I wonder if that's true for almost everyone. When we look back five years, do almost all of us feel happier now? Are we really, or does it just seem that way?

The answer's pretty easy for me.

Five years ago, November 2002, Jay had been gone eleven months. My support structure had collapsed during his illness - all my friends from The Company had transferred out, moved away, and I'd lost touch with everyone else. That first year I had tried to be active. I took some classes, joined the volunteer fire department rescue squad (kind of as a payback for their help with Jay), and went to fairs and antique auctions. In November it all kind of fell apart. The rescue squad started talking about holding the ambulance on calls so that I could make it (I lived just that wee bit too far out), and so I quit rather than be responsible for that. And then winter came, and I pretty much crashed. I went into seclusion for the next two and a half years, bought tons of stuff on eBay, lost all the muscles I'd gained caring for Jay, and gained 45 pounds.

It's been a long climb out of that hole. Oddly, asked then how I felt, I always answered "Content", and I was. Asked if I were lonely, I always answered "No", and I wasn't.

Now, 2007, I've found a man who fascinates me and appreciates me. I complain about the distance, which makes it hard to give or get a hug when it's needed, but on the other hand, distance has slowed things down, so hormonal overflow is not running the show, and that's good. Daughter is married, bought a house, and is finally finding herself. And although I have only a few local friends (2 male, 2 female), they're good ones.

So, yeah, I'm a lot happier now than five years ago.

You?
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