The Maritime Museum needed someone to cover the gift shop yesterday (Friday) from 1 to 5 pm, and the volunteer coordinator begged me, so I went in. I thought we'd have a lot of visitors, people getting a jump on the weekend - but we didn't. Only one couple came in, and they wanted only information ("How do we get out to the lighthouse?")
The tedium was relieved by the arrival of the schooner Mystic Whaler. Captain John came in to ask where he could find a grocery store. Ho hum.
I did make one sale - I bought a book.
By the time I left I was very depressed. One of my reasons for volunteering was to meet people (and maybe even some 60-ish single men). But I seem to be spending all my time at the museum alone. Driving home, I felt like I wanted to cry - you know, that lump in the throat thing - but I couldn't seem to muster any tears, so I didn't. I'm so alone. Here it is a holiday weekend, and I have no one to share it with. I have friends, but they're all either old and tired (in mind if not body), married, or in relationships, leaving no room for me.
I intended today to go to the antiques fair in Rhinebeck and then to the 4:15 showing of "Water" at the Upstate Cinema, but when I realized that I'd left myself only 2 hours for the fair, I skipped it and just went to the movie. Alone.
That was also a depressing experience when I realized two things. There wasn't a single person in the audience younger than me, and I was the only person there alone.
Then I went out for dinner at the new restaurant in the village. Alone. I read my Smithsonian at the table.
I feel like I want to cry again, but there are no tears.
I'll go to the antiques fair tomorrow. Alone.
1 comment:
I wish I'd known you were so alone on Saturday. I had a dance gig Saturday night, but my guys left Saturday afternoon without me and I spent the afternoon sleeping on my couch along wishing I had someone to spend time with until I had to get ready for my dance gig...
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