Saturday, September 15, 2007
I was wrong in yesterday's post. Shortly after sending it off I decided to give up and go to bed, at 7 pm, where I immediately started sweating. Took my temperature. 100.4. Not all that high, but at least I know it's not all in my head, there's something going on.
I took some aspirin, and by midnight the feverish feeling was gone. I felt fine this morning, but I have a feeling I'll be rocky again by sundown. Probably a virus.
The friend I visited last Thursday was also feverish last night, and reports several acquaintances who are ill. A local friend reports feeling icky too. Most of them have a sore throat. I don't.
A friend in Newburgh invited me to a bonfire this afternoon. They're burning the trimmed branches from an apple orchard. There'll be some very interesting people there, and I love bonfires anyway. For all my fear of uncontrolled fire, there's a bit of pyromania in me. But I suspect I'll feel better tomorrow if I stay in and quiet today. So. Disappointment.
Tomorrow is the annual "Thank You" Hudson River cruise and dinner for the maritime museum volunteers, and again I have to miss it. Very annoying. But the second (and I hope final) meeting of the Mensa bylaws revision committee is tomorrow, and I can't miss that. I've got a big emotional investment in seeing that the bylaws are done right this time. If it's nasty weather tomorrow (oops, sorry, all you other volunteers) that'll at least make it bearable.
I've been distracted several times during the composing of this entry by IM-like emails and calls from friends, and dealings with an online customer service department over whether they can get an order to me by Wednesday, so I can deliver a portion of it to Daughter before next weekend, and requests from eBay for help with a very convincing spoof email. EBay confirmed that it wasn't from them, and wants the headers so they can trace it. I don't know HOW to get the headers for my AOL email, but eBay has very helpfully linked some websites that tell one how, so I guess I get to learn something new today.
Anyway, I started this entry at 3:43 pm, and it's now 4:54, and my cheeks are beginning to feel hot. So I guess the virus is waking up and moving again. I kinda figured it would....
Tea time.
.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
1472 Time Passing
Friday, September 14, 2007
I don't understand how time can pass so slowly and so quickly, both at the same time.
I don't feel so well, haven't for a few days. I have that loggy feeling like you get with a fever, but there's no fever. That cottony feeling like when you haven't slept in 36 hours, but I've had plenty of sleep. The achy feeling like the leg muscles were overused and put away wet, but they're working just fine. It was 72 degrees outside today, but I felt cold. I want to crawl into bed.
I ordered some clothes from my favorite online store today. They're having a sale - all jackets are 25% off. Plus, they'd take $25 off any order over $75. PLUS, I had some coupons for $20 off any order. I can use one coupon per order. So I bought some blazers and jackets.
My first version of the order came to about $180. They took the $25 off, and then my $20 coupon. I sat there and thought about that for a minute before hitting the "place order" button.
An aside - Some Mensans thought Jay and I were terrible, because even though Jay took the test and qualified for Mensa, he never joined, for the simple reason that since I was a life member, there was no advantage to paying small fortune for a second membership. He got all the benefits through me. The way I see it, it's silly for more than one member of a household to join, except for bragging rights. I've had some members get angry at me for that. I guess they don't want to admit they want bragging rights. It sure isn't altruism toward the organization.
So anyway, I thought about the order a bit, and then went back and started over. I broke it up into two separate orders. This way each of the orders got the $25 discount, and I could use a $20 coupon on each. So instead of saving $45, I saved $90.
I'm rather pleased with myself.
.
I don't understand how time can pass so slowly and so quickly, both at the same time.
I don't feel so well, haven't for a few days. I have that loggy feeling like you get with a fever, but there's no fever. That cottony feeling like when you haven't slept in 36 hours, but I've had plenty of sleep. The achy feeling like the leg muscles were overused and put away wet, but they're working just fine. It was 72 degrees outside today, but I felt cold. I want to crawl into bed.
I ordered some clothes from my favorite online store today. They're having a sale - all jackets are 25% off. Plus, they'd take $25 off any order over $75. PLUS, I had some coupons for $20 off any order. I can use one coupon per order. So I bought some blazers and jackets.
My first version of the order came to about $180. They took the $25 off, and then my $20 coupon. I sat there and thought about that for a minute before hitting the "place order" button.
An aside - Some Mensans thought Jay and I were terrible, because even though Jay took the test and qualified for Mensa, he never joined, for the simple reason that since I was a life member, there was no advantage to paying small fortune for a second membership. He got all the benefits through me. The way I see it, it's silly for more than one member of a household to join, except for bragging rights. I've had some members get angry at me for that. I guess they don't want to admit they want bragging rights. It sure isn't altruism toward the organization.
So anyway, I thought about the order a bit, and then went back and started over. I broke it up into two separate orders. This way each of the orders got the $25 discount, and I could use a $20 coupon on each. So instead of saving $45, I saved $90.
I'm rather pleased with myself.
.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
1471 Flunking Football
Thursday, September 13, 2007
On King of the Hill this evening, Peggy Hill gets in trouble with the town for flunking the star football player.
I did that once, with pretty much the same result. It was 1966, G----sburg High School. I flunked the star football player (probably Algebra II).
The coach came tearing into my classroom and angrily told me I couldn't do that. I (all 4'10", 98 lbs, and 21 years of me) stood my ground and informed him I had to, that I had no other choice. He said he'd take it to the principal and the school board.
I got battered from several directions, but I prevailed because I was on firm ground.
I had told the boy he was likely to fail. I had always stayed every day after school for an hour to help anyone who wanted to come in. The kid missed class at least one day every week for practice, but he never came in after school to catch up on what he'd missed. If he hadn't warned the coach, it was because of his own arrogance, figuring that he would be allowed to coast.
Uh uh. No coasting past me. And it wasn't fair to the other kids, who worked for their grades.
My grade stood, the kid didn't play the next quarter, and they stopped having sports practice during school hours.
Unlike King of the Hill's booster club, G----sburg "got" it.
.
On King of the Hill this evening, Peggy Hill gets in trouble with the town for flunking the star football player.
I did that once, with pretty much the same result. It was 1966, G----sburg High School. I flunked the star football player (probably Algebra II).
The coach came tearing into my classroom and angrily told me I couldn't do that. I (all 4'10", 98 lbs, and 21 years of me) stood my ground and informed him I had to, that I had no other choice. He said he'd take it to the principal and the school board.
I got battered from several directions, but I prevailed because I was on firm ground.
I had told the boy he was likely to fail. I had always stayed every day after school for an hour to help anyone who wanted to come in. The kid missed class at least one day every week for practice, but he never came in after school to catch up on what he'd missed. If he hadn't warned the coach, it was because of his own arrogance, figuring that he would be allowed to coast.
Uh uh. No coasting past me. And it wasn't fair to the other kids, who worked for their grades.
My grade stood, the kid didn't play the next quarter, and they stopped having sports practice during school hours.
Unlike King of the Hill's booster club, G----sburg "got" it.
.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
1470 Conservative v Liberal
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Another one of those "duh" studies. They've discovered that the brains of people who define themselves as politically liberal and those of people who define themselves as politically conservative work differently. http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/237131/
No kidding.
Let's take politics out of it, and just define the people as conservative or liberal. Now what they've "discovered" is simply the definitions of conservative and liberal.
Sheesh.
.
Another one of those "duh" studies. They've discovered that the brains of people who define themselves as politically liberal and those of people who define themselves as politically conservative work differently. http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/237131/
No kidding.
Let's take politics out of it, and just define the people as conservative or liberal. Now what they've "discovered" is simply the definitions of conservative and liberal.
Sheesh.
.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
1469 DoNotCall; Museum Cookbook
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
If you registered your number on the national 'do not call' registry as soon as it was available, as I did, then you will have to reregister soon. Numbers stay on the Do Not Call list for 5 years, then they either fall off, or you have to re-submit them. The registry was started on September 15th, 5 years ago.
---------------------------
If your otherwise well-mannered rescue kitty, who doesn't really understand houses and litter boxes, has been unpotting your houseplants and using the dirt on the carpet for potty purposes, and I won't name names here (but we know who you are, Jasper!), well, said kitty also doesn't know about bubble wrap - and it works just fine.
---------------------------
I went to the museum yesterday and finished up my work on the membership database. As the next set of memberships and renewals come in, I'll be handing them off to the new (old) guy.
Betty has warned me that "He won't read instructions. You have to tell him everything." Well, I'm sorry, but I spent several hours writing up a cookbook, and he WILL by damn read it! Working with that database is non-intuitive, and things can get weird randomly, and I cannot sit around and hold his hand forever. I intend to hand him the cookbook (4.5 pages, step by step for each of the four tasks) and then retire to a corner with a book. I refuse to hold his hand. He will be forced to use the coookbook.
-----------------------------
After the museum, I had dinner in Poughkeepsie with a friend. We talked about mixed signals and motives and, I don't know, I think we're a bit clearer on where the line is drawn. The main trouble, of course, is that I'm not completely sure myself where the line should be, so it's no wonder he's thinks he's getting mixed signals.
I'm trying. I know what's right, but it's hard.
.
If you registered your number on the national 'do not call' registry as soon as it was available, as I did, then you will have to reregister soon. Numbers stay on the Do Not Call list for 5 years, then they either fall off, or you have to re-submit them. The registry was started on September 15th, 5 years ago.
---------------------------
If your otherwise well-mannered rescue kitty, who doesn't really understand houses and litter boxes, has been unpotting your houseplants and using the dirt on the carpet for potty purposes, and I won't name names here (but we know who you are, Jasper!), well, said kitty also doesn't know about bubble wrap - and it works just fine.
---------------------------
I went to the museum yesterday and finished up my work on the membership database. As the next set of memberships and renewals come in, I'll be handing them off to the new (old) guy.
Betty has warned me that "He won't read instructions. You have to tell him everything." Well, I'm sorry, but I spent several hours writing up a cookbook, and he WILL by damn read it! Working with that database is non-intuitive, and things can get weird randomly, and I cannot sit around and hold his hand forever. I intend to hand him the cookbook (4.5 pages, step by step for each of the four tasks) and then retire to a corner with a book. I refuse to hold his hand. He will be forced to use the coookbook.
-----------------------------
After the museum, I had dinner in Poughkeepsie with a friend. We talked about mixed signals and motives and, I don't know, I think we're a bit clearer on where the line is drawn. The main trouble, of course, is that I'm not completely sure myself where the line should be, so it's no wonder he's thinks he's getting mixed signals.
I'm trying. I know what's right, but it's hard.
.
Monday, September 10, 2007
1468 Ninja Warrior
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1anoHXphvas)
Nine-minute video, worth every second. He's good. Gypsy, your man will like this.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
1467 Since Thursday...
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Thursday I went to NJ. The 2.5 hour trip took 5.0 hours because of an accident on (the OTHER side of) the Garden State Parkway.
Explored the kids' new house. It's very small, but it's in a pleasant neighborhood, I think.
Then I went to meet a friend for the evening. Daughter gave me directions and a map, and the 40 minute trip took me 75 minutes, because I had to keep pulling over to consult the map, kept missing turns, and most of the turns where that happened you have to go quite a distance to find a "jughandle" to make a U-turn, so I was very late meeting him. Central NJ is one of those places where it really is true that "you can't get there from here". But it worked out ok, and we had some good talking time together. Which we needed.
Friday I went back to the kids' new house and spent the day spackling and sanding walls, and the evening helping pack. The moving truck was to come Saturday morning.
The drive home was uneventful. I don't remember what time I got home, but I didn't get to bed until after 4 am Saturday. I got up about noon, handled some business, and then the power went out about 6 pm (storm with very bad very close lightning). That also means no water, and no house phone.
Lit some candles, read some magazines, called Daughter (cell) - move went well, bed was set up and made and they were going to sleep in the new house, but they couldn't find their pillows. My power came back on at about midnight. I had some research I had been doing on the internet, so I got back to that, and didn't get to bed until, again, 4 am-ish.
A friend and I planned to hike around the lake at Mohonk Mountain House (do go look at these pictures, too), so I was up at 7:30 am Sunday. The hike around the lake was nice. I've been there many times before, but on the Overcliff/Undercliff/Tower trails. The lake trail was new to me. It was short. So then we got feisty and decided to walk the 1.5 miles back to the day-hike parking area instead of taking the shuttle. Piece of cake, right?
Well, the trails were marked with "to 'name'" signs, but badly marked. Hell, half the trails led to 'name' one way or another! We had a map, but at an intersection, there was no way to tell exactly where you were on the map, which intersection, which made the map useless. I was confident that we'd eventually find the parking lot, because when we left the hotel grounds the shuttle road was to our right and to the left was a steep dropoff to the valley below (the hotel is on a ridge, as you can see from the photos. The mountain drops off behind the hotel). So as long as we didn't cross the shuttle road or fall off a cliff, we'd be heading the right direction. But my companion panicked. I think if she'd been able to tell them accurately where she was, she'd have called 911.
When we finally came out on the highway, she insisted that we had to turn to the left and go down the (steep!) road to get to the parking lot. I knew that the parking lot was on the ridge at the top of the mountain, to our right, up the road, but she was so freaked at that point I knew there was no point arguing. So I just followed her, and hoped she'd reconsider or figure it out on her own. She didn't. We went down about a half mile of "trucks use first gear" road, when I flagged down a pickup truck and asked the driver "Parking lot that way, right? (pointing up.)" He confirmed, I called to my companion (who wasn't interested in anything I had to say at that point), and we turned around and started up again. She started sticking her thumb out, and (wow) the fifth car or so stopped and picked her up. I chose to walk. Those last fifteen pounds, dontcha know....
When I got to the parking lot, she was nowhere to be seen. I called her cell and left a message that I hoped she got home ok, and I went home. Did some grocery shopping on the way home, and arrived to find a message from her that she had complained to the gate staff and customer service people about their maps and signs, and they had refunded her money.
As a member, she had paid $2 for the day. I had paid $21. It had never occurred to me to complain. I still wouldn't. They've been using those same maps for thirty years that I know of, and they haven't lost any guests yet. We just didn't use the map properly, didn't keep track of where we were, didn't really think about it. She had the map in her pack and had spent more time waving it around and complaining than looking at it.
Well, except for the minor hysterics, **I** enjoyed the day.
.
Thursday I went to NJ. The 2.5 hour trip took 5.0 hours because of an accident on (the OTHER side of) the Garden State Parkway.
Explored the kids' new house. It's very small, but it's in a pleasant neighborhood, I think.
Then I went to meet a friend for the evening. Daughter gave me directions and a map, and the 40 minute trip took me 75 minutes, because I had to keep pulling over to consult the map, kept missing turns, and most of the turns where that happened you have to go quite a distance to find a "jughandle" to make a U-turn, so I was very late meeting him. Central NJ is one of those places where it really is true that "you can't get there from here". But it worked out ok, and we had some good talking time together. Which we needed.
Friday I went back to the kids' new house and spent the day spackling and sanding walls, and the evening helping pack. The moving truck was to come Saturday morning.
The drive home was uneventful. I don't remember what time I got home, but I didn't get to bed until after 4 am Saturday. I got up about noon, handled some business, and then the power went out about 6 pm (storm with very bad very close lightning). That also means no water, and no house phone.
Lit some candles, read some magazines, called Daughter (cell) - move went well, bed was set up and made and they were going to sleep in the new house, but they couldn't find their pillows. My power came back on at about midnight. I had some research I had been doing on the internet, so I got back to that, and didn't get to bed until, again, 4 am-ish.
A friend and I planned to hike around the lake at Mohonk Mountain House (do go look at these pictures, too), so I was up at 7:30 am Sunday. The hike around the lake was nice. I've been there many times before, but on the Overcliff/Undercliff/Tower trails. The lake trail was new to me. It was short. So then we got feisty and decided to walk the 1.5 miles back to the day-hike parking area instead of taking the shuttle. Piece of cake, right?
Well, the trails were marked with "to 'name'" signs, but badly marked. Hell, half the trails led to 'name' one way or another! We had a map, but at an intersection, there was no way to tell exactly where you were on the map, which intersection, which made the map useless. I was confident that we'd eventually find the parking lot, because when we left the hotel grounds the shuttle road was to our right and to the left was a steep dropoff to the valley below (the hotel is on a ridge, as you can see from the photos. The mountain drops off behind the hotel). So as long as we didn't cross the shuttle road or fall off a cliff, we'd be heading the right direction. But my companion panicked. I think if she'd been able to tell them accurately where she was, she'd have called 911.
When we finally came out on the highway, she insisted that we had to turn to the left and go down the (steep!) road to get to the parking lot. I knew that the parking lot was on the ridge at the top of the mountain, to our right, up the road, but she was so freaked at that point I knew there was no point arguing. So I just followed her, and hoped she'd reconsider or figure it out on her own. She didn't. We went down about a half mile of "trucks use first gear" road, when I flagged down a pickup truck and asked the driver "Parking lot that way, right? (pointing up.)" He confirmed, I called to my companion (who wasn't interested in anything I had to say at that point), and we turned around and started up again. She started sticking her thumb out, and (wow) the fifth car or so stopped and picked her up. I chose to walk. Those last fifteen pounds, dontcha know....
When I got to the parking lot, she was nowhere to be seen. I called her cell and left a message that I hoped she got home ok, and I went home. Did some grocery shopping on the way home, and arrived to find a message from her that she had complained to the gate staff and customer service people about their maps and signs, and they had refunded her money.
As a member, she had paid $2 for the day. I had paid $21. It had never occurred to me to complain. I still wouldn't. They've been using those same maps for thirty years that I know of, and they haven't lost any guests yet. We just didn't use the map properly, didn't keep track of where we were, didn't really think about it. She had the map in her pack and had spent more time waving it around and complaining than looking at it.
Well, except for the minor hysterics, **I** enjoyed the day.
.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
1465 More Yesterday
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
I forgot two things that happened yesterday.
When I was crossing the bridge over the Hudson, from Dutchess (yeah, that's spelled right) into Ulster county, at a hair after 1 pm, two police cars came tearing across the bridge, lights flashing, sirens on, high speed, headed for Dutchess. A little further on, there were two more.
Four police cars screaming east across a long bridge into the next county.
Now if police are coming in mass from a county across the river, how many police on the east side of the river responded? Seems like something big and unplanned went down. I'm intensely curious. I may never find out. The Poughkeepsie paper pretty much ignores the rural northern part of the county, and the Kingston paper - well, it's across the river, we don't exist.
When I passed Piper's office going home after the museum at 6:30 pm, Piper's car was there (he usually leaves about 4:30). He always knows everything that's going on, so I parked in a lot up the street, but when I walked back, his car was already gone.
---------------------------
The membership office at the museum is on the second floor in the back, on the Rondout Creek, overlooking the marina. The windows and back door (in my office) were open yesterday because of the heat.
The Sloop Clearwater was moored against the dock right outside (man, the mast on that thing is TALL!! The sails are HUGE!! How does the ship stay upright?) Anyway, they were varnishing the decks, and the fumes were coming right into my office, and I got sooooo high.
.
I forgot two things that happened yesterday.
When I was crossing the bridge over the Hudson, from Dutchess (yeah, that's spelled right) into Ulster county, at a hair after 1 pm, two police cars came tearing across the bridge, lights flashing, sirens on, high speed, headed for Dutchess. A little further on, there were two more.
Four police cars screaming east across a long bridge into the next county.
Now if police are coming in mass from a county across the river, how many police on the east side of the river responded? Seems like something big and unplanned went down. I'm intensely curious. I may never find out. The Poughkeepsie paper pretty much ignores the rural northern part of the county, and the Kingston paper - well, it's across the river, we don't exist.
When I passed Piper's office going home after the museum at 6:30 pm, Piper's car was there (he usually leaves about 4:30). He always knows everything that's going on, so I parked in a lot up the street, but when I walked back, his car was already gone.
---------------------------
The membership office at the museum is on the second floor in the back, on the Rondout Creek, overlooking the marina. The windows and back door (in my office) were open yesterday because of the heat.
The Sloop Clearwater was moored against the dock right outside (man, the mast on that thing is TALL!! The sails are HUGE!! How does the ship stay upright?) Anyway, they were varnishing the decks, and the fumes were coming right into my office, and I got sooooo high.
.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
1464 Back to the Museum
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
First, a kitty update. Jasper has doubled in size in the five weeks I've had him! He couldn't possibly be as old as everyone thought he was. He wants to eat constantly. He still doesn't meow. He "eee"s and trills. (Say "purrrr" while vibrating the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth, and that's a close approximation of the trill.)
Miss Thunderfoot is still in a snarling growling chasing slapping snit. She shows no signs of accepting Jasper's presence.
I went to the museum today. I haven't handed off the membership data base to the new staff guy yet. He's anxious to pick it up, but I want to write a cookbook for him, so today while processing checks and stuffing envelopes, I wrote down every detail of every step, and typed it up this evening.
Daughter and Hercules closed on their new house today. Saturday is moving day (they hired professional movers) so I'm going down to visit Thursday and Friday to help as I can. I'll spend Thursday night with my other friend.
.
First, a kitty update. Jasper has doubled in size in the five weeks I've had him! He couldn't possibly be as old as everyone thought he was. He wants to eat constantly. He still doesn't meow. He "eee"s and trills. (Say "purrrr" while vibrating the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth, and that's a close approximation of the trill.)
Miss Thunderfoot is still in a snarling growling chasing slapping snit. She shows no signs of accepting Jasper's presence.
I went to the museum today. I haven't handed off the membership data base to the new staff guy yet. He's anxious to pick it up, but I want to write a cookbook for him, so today while processing checks and stuffing envelopes, I wrote down every detail of every step, and typed it up this evening.
Daughter and Hercules closed on their new house today. Saturday is moving day (they hired professional movers) so I'm going down to visit Thursday and Friday to help as I can. I'll spend Thursday night with my other friend.
.
Monday, September 03, 2007
1463 Vengeance
Monday, September 3, 2007
Picked up along the way somewhere: "While 82 percent of women say they have 'sought revenge' against a previous significant other, only 19 percent of men responding said they've been the victim of acts of vengeance from a previous significant other."
There a very large disparity in those numbers. The 82 seems too high, and the 19 seems too low.
On the 82% of women, one possibility is that seeking revenge is not the same as inflicting revenge. I have at least two exes upon whom I would have liked to have poured wrath. One of them would have been so easy - a short call to the IRS, and his ass would have been grass. I toyed with the idea for a long time. I got a lot of satisfaction from thinking about it. But I didn't do it. I also got a lot of satisfaction from thinking that I'm a better person than he was. So am I part of that 82% or not?
On the 19% of men, that seems low because almost every divorced man I know (and almost every man I know now is divorced - at least once) feel that the ex-wife got vicious and vengeful. Outside divorce, on the other hand, it's possible that the women were very sneaky, and the men didn't realize the source of bad things that subsequently happened to them. Like if my ex had been audited, he'd have never known it was I who reported him.
The other possibility is that it's the 19% of men who are deserving of revenge from the 82% of women!
I have a friend who has had some scary problems with women. He's been seriously stalked by several, and suffered some frightening acts of revenge. I have to wonder why he seems to be a lightning rod for female anger.
Does he lead women on, play them, make them think there's more to the relationship than there is? Does he lie to them? (That will guarantee anger!) Does he lead them into thinking about and planning for a wonderful future together, and then they find out it was all fantasy? Or is he simply drawn to the crazies?
Anyway, he's one of the 19%, and he himself alone accounts for several of the 82%.
When women act unreasonably time after time, there's got to be a reason. I wonder if he takes any responsibility for it.
-------------------------------
I switched from the (groundwater-based heat pump) A/C to (oil furnace) heat last night. All summer long water from the well has been running through the A/C, and now that's cut off. The only time the well pump runs now is when I turn a faucet on.
Since a few hours after I turned the A/C off, the water has been full of silt. It's so muddy I can't see through 2" of water in a glass. I let the kitchen sink faucet run for a while last night and it cleared up after a while, but the mud is back in full force today. You won't believe what it does to the toilets! I bought some bottled water to drink while I wait for the silt to settle down, but I'm desperate to do some laundry. I have enough clothes to go five weeks between laundry in a pinch, but I'm pushing six now, and I don't have any clean sheets left, and I'm down to holey stretched-out underwear.
(Yeah, I know. Extreme. I hate doing laundry. It should be easy because my laundry room is next to the kitchen, not in the basement, but I hate it anyway. I've been known to buy more underwear so I could put off laundry. When I do get around to it, I dedicate a day and do 8 or 10 loads. (I get away with so few loads because I have an oversized washer.))
I don't understand why the silt appears AFTER the A/C is turned off. Seems like it should be muddy when the water is being roiled.
.
Picked up along the way somewhere: "While 82 percent of women say they have 'sought revenge' against a previous significant other, only 19 percent of men responding said they've been the victim of acts of vengeance from a previous significant other."
There a very large disparity in those numbers. The 82 seems too high, and the 19 seems too low.
On the 82% of women, one possibility is that seeking revenge is not the same as inflicting revenge. I have at least two exes upon whom I would have liked to have poured wrath. One of them would have been so easy - a short call to the IRS, and his ass would have been grass. I toyed with the idea for a long time. I got a lot of satisfaction from thinking about it. But I didn't do it. I also got a lot of satisfaction from thinking that I'm a better person than he was. So am I part of that 82% or not?
On the 19% of men, that seems low because almost every divorced man I know (and almost every man I know now is divorced - at least once) feel that the ex-wife got vicious and vengeful. Outside divorce, on the other hand, it's possible that the women were very sneaky, and the men didn't realize the source of bad things that subsequently happened to them. Like if my ex had been audited, he'd have never known it was I who reported him.
The other possibility is that it's the 19% of men who are deserving of revenge from the 82% of women!
I have a friend who has had some scary problems with women. He's been seriously stalked by several, and suffered some frightening acts of revenge. I have to wonder why he seems to be a lightning rod for female anger.
Does he lead women on, play them, make them think there's more to the relationship than there is? Does he lie to them? (That will guarantee anger!) Does he lead them into thinking about and planning for a wonderful future together, and then they find out it was all fantasy? Or is he simply drawn to the crazies?
Anyway, he's one of the 19%, and he himself alone accounts for several of the 82%.
When women act unreasonably time after time, there's got to be a reason. I wonder if he takes any responsibility for it.
-------------------------------
I switched from the (groundwater-based heat pump) A/C to (oil furnace) heat last night. All summer long water from the well has been running through the A/C, and now that's cut off. The only time the well pump runs now is when I turn a faucet on.
Since a few hours after I turned the A/C off, the water has been full of silt. It's so muddy I can't see through 2" of water in a glass. I let the kitchen sink faucet run for a while last night and it cleared up after a while, but the mud is back in full force today. You won't believe what it does to the toilets! I bought some bottled water to drink while I wait for the silt to settle down, but I'm desperate to do some laundry. I have enough clothes to go five weeks between laundry in a pinch, but I'm pushing six now, and I don't have any clean sheets left, and I'm down to holey stretched-out underwear.
(Yeah, I know. Extreme. I hate doing laundry. It should be easy because my laundry room is next to the kitchen, not in the basement, but I hate it anyway. I've been known to buy more underwear so I could put off laundry. When I do get around to it, I dedicate a day and do 8 or 10 loads. (I get away with so few loads because I have an oversized washer.))
I don't understand why the silt appears AFTER the A/C is turned off. Seems like it should be muddy when the water is being roiled.
.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
1462 Tired, or something....
Sunday, September 2, 2007
I'm tired. My legs feel heavy. Roman told me Friday that my bounce had been gone for a few days. He said "You're not smiling. Well, you're smiling, but not big smiles, not like usual."
Yeah. I don't know what's wrong. Maybe it's that the summer is leaving, and I hadn't used it up yet. Maybe it's that two of my friends are sad and one is stressed, and there's nothing I can do, and it's bringing me down. I don't know.
I feel like I want to curl up in someone's arms and suck my thumb for a while.
_________________________
The past week was a bit busy. I had lunch with friends three days, dinner once, took a friend out for lunch for his 60th birthday (another of those three-hour lunches), and spent a full day (16 hours) and one evening helping a friend move boxes and files, and a huge file cabinet, from Long Island to Poughkeepsie.
There was other stuff in there, but durn if I can remember what.
I've been exercising my arms. I'd lost a lot of weight, and I hadn't realized I'd lost muscle, too. (From lifting and exercising Jay that last year, I had a lot of muscle.) So with age and mass loss, my skin doesn't fit any more. After 50, it doesn't tighten up very well on its own. I had big swinging sacks under my upper arms, and my shoulders were getting very small.
I've been doing simple stuff, like
It's starting to show results. I'm slowly filling my skin.
.
I'm tired. My legs feel heavy. Roman told me Friday that my bounce had been gone for a few days. He said "You're not smiling. Well, you're smiling, but not big smiles, not like usual."
Yeah. I don't know what's wrong. Maybe it's that the summer is leaving, and I hadn't used it up yet. Maybe it's that two of my friends are sad and one is stressed, and there's nothing I can do, and it's bringing me down. I don't know.
I feel like I want to curl up in someone's arms and suck my thumb for a while.
_________________________
The past week was a bit busy. I had lunch with friends three days, dinner once, took a friend out for lunch for his 60th birthday (another of those three-hour lunches), and spent a full day (16 hours) and one evening helping a friend move boxes and files, and a huge file cabinet, from Long Island to Poughkeepsie.
There was other stuff in there, but durn if I can remember what.
I've been exercising my arms. I'd lost a lot of weight, and I hadn't realized I'd lost muscle, too. (From lifting and exercising Jay that last year, I had a lot of muscle.) So with age and mass loss, my skin doesn't fit any more. After 50, it doesn't tighten up very well on its own. I had big swinging sacks under my upper arms, and my shoulders were getting very small.
I've been doing simple stuff, like
- hoist a bottle of green tea up and down behind the neck,
- shoulder rolls with wrist weights,
- the kind of half-pushup where you lean at an extreme angle against a countertop and push back and forth,
- stand with your back to the counter, hands behind, and lift and drop your body,
- stand in a doorway and push against the frame in various ways,
- raise your tail off the chair by lifting on the arms of the chair.
It's starting to show results. I'm slowly filling my skin.
.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
1461 Vacation or Not?
Saturday, September 1, 2007
A friend and past coworker pointer me to an article about The Company, and its relaxed attitude toward vacation and time off. The reporter makes it sound good, but the friend and I are both suspicious.
Back in the 90s and earlier, when we all worked in offices in the labs, there were always problems about vacations. Workloads, schedules, and due dates never took vacations into consideration. It was very difficult to actually take more than one or two consecutive days off. If you wanted a whole week for a trip or something, you had to work enormous amounts of overtime before and after the vacation to get everything done, and that was more stress than no vacation at all.
They allowed you to carry over vacation into subsequent years, but only up to a certain number of accrued weeks, and then you'd start losing it. So they'd pressure people to take time off, which could put you in a bad position - take vacation and miss a deadline, or don't take vacation and have HR coming down on your manager? In our last position, one of our coworkers hadn't taken any vacation in like five years. He wanted to, but with overlapping projects, there just wasn't time. Believe it or not, a management suggestion was to take every Friday off, and work two hours overtime every day he came in. Viola! Vacation taken, projects covered. Everybody happy, right?
We were all "professional", which meant we were paid a flat salary, not by the hour, and we didn't have to punch a timeclock. However, we still had to fill out a timecard every Friday. We'd just write the total number of hours across the face. It had to be a minimum of 40 hours. If less, the missing time had to be coded as vacation, illness, personal business, or comp time. Comp time needed permission, which was rarely given, since it was taken for granted that you'd work a minimum of 10% uncompensated overtime per month.
There was a state law that you couldn't work unpaid overtime for more than a certain number of weeks at a time. I think it was something like five or six weeks. I often had managers call me in and tell me that I was over the limit, and I should stop writing more than 40 hours on my time card. Most people just shrugged and wrote 40 hours no matter how much time they put in. I stood firm. I told them that the timecard was a legal document, and I would not lie on it. They could either pay me for the extra time (called "project pay"), give me comp time off (I think it was something like one hour off for every four overtime), or accept a slipped schedule.
They usually gave me the extra project pay and begged me not to tell anyone I was getting it.
It was the usual practice to assign fewer people to projects than even the best estimates required. A manager once told me that 15% overtime was planned in.
And you know what really got me? The people who took on extra projects, and who worked overtime constantly, and who made it known that they were putting in enormous amounts of overtime, thinking they were demonstrating team spirit, loyalty, and dedication, were downgraded on appraisals for "poor time management". People who lied on their timecards were seen as "efficient".
Aaaaaagggghhhh!
So, now they're not tracking vacation time? People can work from home, even from a beach, eh? Well, that takes care of that pesky state law, doesn't it. I wouldn't be surprised if 30% OT is planned in now. And with everyone working at home or otherwise "in secret", a worker who feels pressured to get up from the dinner table and go back to the PC won't even realize that it isn't just him. That The Company has found a way to get all employees to work almost constantly! All day every day. Even on vacation. Which they aren't tracking. Heh heh. Nice tradeoff.
Most people never follow the links. Hint: If you follow this one, you'll find out who "The Company" is. Not that it ever was such a huge secret....
.
A friend and past coworker pointer me to an article about The Company, and its relaxed attitude toward vacation and time off. The reporter makes it sound good, but the friend and I are both suspicious.
Back in the 90s and earlier, when we all worked in offices in the labs, there were always problems about vacations. Workloads, schedules, and due dates never took vacations into consideration. It was very difficult to actually take more than one or two consecutive days off. If you wanted a whole week for a trip or something, you had to work enormous amounts of overtime before and after the vacation to get everything done, and that was more stress than no vacation at all.
They allowed you to carry over vacation into subsequent years, but only up to a certain number of accrued weeks, and then you'd start losing it. So they'd pressure people to take time off, which could put you in a bad position - take vacation and miss a deadline, or don't take vacation and have HR coming down on your manager? In our last position, one of our coworkers hadn't taken any vacation in like five years. He wanted to, but with overlapping projects, there just wasn't time. Believe it or not, a management suggestion was to take every Friday off, and work two hours overtime every day he came in. Viola! Vacation taken, projects covered. Everybody happy, right?
We were all "professional", which meant we were paid a flat salary, not by the hour, and we didn't have to punch a timeclock. However, we still had to fill out a timecard every Friday. We'd just write the total number of hours across the face. It had to be a minimum of 40 hours. If less, the missing time had to be coded as vacation, illness, personal business, or comp time. Comp time needed permission, which was rarely given, since it was taken for granted that you'd work a minimum of 10% uncompensated overtime per month.
There was a state law that you couldn't work unpaid overtime for more than a certain number of weeks at a time. I think it was something like five or six weeks. I often had managers call me in and tell me that I was over the limit, and I should stop writing more than 40 hours on my time card. Most people just shrugged and wrote 40 hours no matter how much time they put in. I stood firm. I told them that the timecard was a legal document, and I would not lie on it. They could either pay me for the extra time (called "project pay"), give me comp time off (I think it was something like one hour off for every four overtime), or accept a slipped schedule.
They usually gave me the extra project pay and begged me not to tell anyone I was getting it.
It was the usual practice to assign fewer people to projects than even the best estimates required. A manager once told me that 15% overtime was planned in.
And you know what really got me? The people who took on extra projects, and who worked overtime constantly, and who made it known that they were putting in enormous amounts of overtime, thinking they were demonstrating team spirit, loyalty, and dedication, were downgraded on appraisals for "poor time management". People who lied on their timecards were seen as "efficient".
Aaaaaagggghhhh!
So, now they're not tracking vacation time? People can work from home, even from a beach, eh? Well, that takes care of that pesky state law, doesn't it. I wouldn't be surprised if 30% OT is planned in now. And with everyone working at home or otherwise "in secret", a worker who feels pressured to get up from the dinner table and go back to the PC won't even realize that it isn't just him. That The Company has found a way to get all employees to work almost constantly! All day every day. Even on vacation. Which they aren't tracking. Heh heh. Nice tradeoff.
Most people never follow the links. Hint: If you follow this one, you'll find out who "The Company" is. Not that it ever was such a huge secret....
.
1460 Shadows
I used to do shadow puppets for Daughter when she was little. This is pretty good.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKoiMiOQvMc&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fsarakblog%2Eblogspot%2Ecom%2F)
.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKoiMiOQvMc&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fsarakblog%2Eblogspot%2Ecom%2F)
.
Friday, August 31, 2007
1459 Spider Nightmare
Friday, August 31, 2007
I mentioned to Piper at lunch today that spiders always move into my house in the fall, and that they seem to be arriving early this year, even though it's still warm out.
I read in bed or work crossword puzzles before falling asleep, and if I see a spider run across the top of the mattress, I get very little sleep that night. It's happened three nights this week! Those hairy square muscular-looking wolf spiders.
Yesterday morning, a spider ran across the laptop keyboard, and without thinking, I picked up a notepad and stomped it. When I lifted the notepad, there were two bits of spider leg sticking out from the top and bottom of the "D" key. I don't know where the rest of the spider is. I don't want to think about where the rest of the spider is
Then I found this:
I mentioned to Piper at lunch today that spiders always move into my house in the fall, and that they seem to be arriving early this year, even though it's still warm out.
I read in bed or work crossword puzzles before falling asleep, and if I see a spider run across the top of the mattress, I get very little sleep that night. It's happened three nights this week! Those hairy square muscular-looking wolf spiders.
Yesterday morning, a spider ran across the laptop keyboard, and without thinking, I picked up a notepad and stomped it. When I lifted the notepad, there were two bits of spider leg sticking out from the top and bottom of the "D" key. I don't know where the rest of the spider is. I don't want to think about where the rest of the spider is
Then I found this:
The stuff of nightmares! The web is at Lake Tawakoni State Park, Wills Point, Hunt Co., Texas.
It was discovered in early August, is slowly expanding, and continues through the trees and along the ground down a park nature trail for 200+ yards. Story at http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/08/30/spider.web.ap/index.html.
It was discovered in early August, is slowly expanding, and continues through the trees and along the ground down a park nature trail for 200+ yards. Story at http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/08/30/spider.web.ap/index.html.
The park rangers say that there are so many mosquitos caught in the web, that the web buzzes. Probably disappointing to the spiders. I suspect they're after bigger game - like ME!
.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
1458 Rumor V. News
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
The Rumor:
"Didja hear about the chase through town last night?" Much excitement yesterday in the quiet little village.
The story I was told by four people was that a woman was chased by police through the middle of the village at speeds exceeding 80 to 100 mph. That she was driving on three wheels, that one tire was flat. (Now, the only way she could go through the village that fast is if it was after 10 pm, since it's route 9, and before 10 even an ambulance can't get through the one traffic light on one cycle, and there's too much traffic to make left turns. Therefore I assumed without asking that it was late night, and the people telling me said "last night".)
Further, I heard that she'd hit a truck down by the stone church, and the police pulled her from her car, and she fought them like a demon, and then she screamed and fell down and died, right on the spot. There were four guys telling me this, and one of them claimed to have "been there".
The Newspaper Report:
"[...] was driving a 2000 Ford Focus when she became involved in a minor accident with another car in [the village], police said.
Police then received reports of an erratic driver on Route 9. State police said [she] continued driving after the accident in [the village], which caused minor damage. About 6:30 p.m., she struck a 1997 GMC pickup truck near [the stone church]. [She] kept driving until her car stopped running, police said.
She then got out of her car, stumbled to a nearby lawn and collapsed. [An eyewitness] said, "She was trying to keep the car under control." [The witness] said the car was traveling uncontrollably and at a high rate of speed. Police are waiting for autopsy results.
There's a further note that according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, a recall was issued for 2000 Ford Focus cars regarding speed control cables. "A speed control cable could have a core wire that is long enough to catch on the sleeve at the throttle body end of the cable during wide-open throttle acceleration," the recall's summary said. "A throttle that does not return to idle could result in reduced vehicle control and, potentially, a vehicle crash."
The Lesson:
Interesting differences in the two stories, no? Gossip is always so much more exciting.
.
1457 I Like Bars
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
I like bars. Not all bars, indiscriminately. I like the bars that feel relaxed and friendly, like they should have a potbelly stove in the middle, and pipe smoke. And perfection would be a faint whiff of manure from the soles of farmers' boots.
The Hurley Mountain Inn used to be like that, back before they redecorated and deemphasized the dart board and pool table, and got rid of all the taxidermy. Now it's too sterile. You feel like you have to wear go-to-meetin' clothes in there now.
No matter how long I'm in a bar, I rarely have more than one alcoholic drink. I can nurse a glass of wine for three hours. Mostly I drink iced tea or juice. I'm not there to drink. I'm there to listen.
Comfy bars are one of the few places where you can get some of the most amazing conversations going among total strangers, on the widest range of topics. You'd think coffee houses would work that way, too, they seem to have a reputation for it, but not in my experience. There's a kind of snootiness in a coffee house that you don't find in a country or neighborhood bar. Almost like conversation in a coffe house is of the showing off variety.
I think it has something to do with sitting at an actual bar, too, as opposed to tables. You're all together, no separation. Even better if the bar is "L" or "U" shaped.
"Sitting" is used loosely. I noticed that the two men I've spent the most time with in bars lately never actually sit on a bar stool. They lay claim to one, but then they stand next to or behind it, or rest one cheek against it, but they almost never sit. Every other guy at the bar is sitting, but they always stand. I wonder why? And why is it always the guy I'm with? I wonder if it's related to the "attracts bugs" thing (that all the men I've been most attracted to in my life were also excessively attractive to mosquitoes, blackflies, and gnats).
No, it's NOT the manure on their boots!
.
I like bars. Not all bars, indiscriminately. I like the bars that feel relaxed and friendly, like they should have a potbelly stove in the middle, and pipe smoke. And perfection would be a faint whiff of manure from the soles of farmers' boots.
The Hurley Mountain Inn used to be like that, back before they redecorated and deemphasized the dart board and pool table, and got rid of all the taxidermy. Now it's too sterile. You feel like you have to wear go-to-meetin' clothes in there now.
No matter how long I'm in a bar, I rarely have more than one alcoholic drink. I can nurse a glass of wine for three hours. Mostly I drink iced tea or juice. I'm not there to drink. I'm there to listen.
Comfy bars are one of the few places where you can get some of the most amazing conversations going among total strangers, on the widest range of topics. You'd think coffee houses would work that way, too, they seem to have a reputation for it, but not in my experience. There's a kind of snootiness in a coffee house that you don't find in a country or neighborhood bar. Almost like conversation in a coffe house is of the showing off variety.
I think it has something to do with sitting at an actual bar, too, as opposed to tables. You're all together, no separation. Even better if the bar is "L" or "U" shaped.
"Sitting" is used loosely. I noticed that the two men I've spent the most time with in bars lately never actually sit on a bar stool. They lay claim to one, but then they stand next to or behind it, or rest one cheek against it, but they almost never sit. Every other guy at the bar is sitting, but they always stand. I wonder why? And why is it always the guy I'm with? I wonder if it's related to the "attracts bugs" thing (that all the men I've been most attracted to in my life were also excessively attractive to mosquitoes, blackflies, and gnats).
No, it's NOT the manure on their boots!
.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
1456 Can She Find South Carolina?
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
For your enlightenment, I present Miss Teen South Carolina:
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZABeQ5vkpXM)
I feel sorry for her. They are given several questions ahead of time, any one of which they will be asked. Seems to me that she rehearsed answers to all of them, and then when faced with bright lights, microphone, and pressure, she forgot the question and tried to answer all of them at once.
She'd make a good TV news reporter! Same amount of non-info, but amusingly delivered.
.
For your enlightenment, I present Miss Teen South Carolina:
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZABeQ5vkpXM)
I feel sorry for her. They are given several questions ahead of time, any one of which they will be asked. Seems to me that she rehearsed answers to all of them, and then when faced with bright lights, microphone, and pressure, she forgot the question and tried to answer all of them at once.
She'd make a good TV news reporter! Same amount of non-info, but amusingly delivered.
.
1455 Calling 911
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Every morning I start up the broadband connection, so at least once a day I am treated to the message "Please wait while configuring your device." I find that message very annoying. It's not so much the message itself. It's that it's obvious that no one, during the coding, testing, or reviewing of this product LOOKED at the message or thought about it. Bang it out and ship it out and who cares.
Would it have been so hard to change it to "Please wait while we configure your device", or "Please wait while your device is configured"?
----------------------
I've called 911 only once, when Jay had his first seizure, and I thought it was a stroke. I have a pretty firm opinion of what 911 is for. I have a friend who doesn't share my criteria.
She called 911 when she had a flat tire in Kingston one evening. I was there. I said we could change the tire ourselves, but she didn't want the mess. The cops changed her tire for her.
Recently she went to a party south of Kingston, and leaving the party, got lost in the south Kingston/Port Ewen area, off route 213. If you get off onto a side road in that area, you won't go far before you hit the river, the creek, a numbered route, or a village you'd recognize. This woman is a Mensan. She should have been able to figure it out. Nope. As soon as she realized she wasn't sure where she was, she called 911, and a cop led her back to Kingston.
She's proud of her resourcefulness. I am annoyed. I think people who abuse 911 like that should get a bill for the service provided.
I just hope I'm not being robbed the next time she gets lost.
.
Every morning I start up the broadband connection, so at least once a day I am treated to the message "Please wait while configuring your device." I find that message very annoying. It's not so much the message itself. It's that it's obvious that no one, during the coding, testing, or reviewing of this product LOOKED at the message or thought about it. Bang it out and ship it out and who cares.
Would it have been so hard to change it to "Please wait while we configure your device", or "Please wait while your device is configured"?
----------------------
I've called 911 only once, when Jay had his first seizure, and I thought it was a stroke. I have a pretty firm opinion of what 911 is for. I have a friend who doesn't share my criteria.
She called 911 when she had a flat tire in Kingston one evening. I was there. I said we could change the tire ourselves, but she didn't want the mess. The cops changed her tire for her.
Recently she went to a party south of Kingston, and leaving the party, got lost in the south Kingston/Port Ewen area, off route 213. If you get off onto a side road in that area, you won't go far before you hit the river, the creek, a numbered route, or a village you'd recognize. This woman is a Mensan. She should have been able to figure it out. Nope. As soon as she realized she wasn't sure where she was, she called 911, and a cop led her back to Kingston.
She's proud of her resourcefulness. I am annoyed. I think people who abuse 911 like that should get a bill for the service provided.
I just hope I'm not being robbed the next time she gets lost.
.
Monday, August 27, 2007
1454 What Is It With Breast Cancer?
Monday, August 27, 2007
I know a few women who'd had a breast cancer diagnosis, and I've been aware of many more. And something I'd noticed that made we wonder - almost all of them ended long term relationships within three years of the diagnosis. Most sooner.
Whether there was a lumpectomy or mastectomy didn't seem to matter. How long the couple had been together, or whether there were children or not didn't seem to matter. It doesn't even matter whether the relationship was still sexual or not. Sometimes it was the woman who opted out, but more often it was the man.
The same thing doesn't seem to apply for other cancers.
What's the deal? Why?
In the 70s, when I first got into Mid-Eastern dance, in Washington, D.C., it was not unusual for a woman to leave her husband within three years of starting dancing. Ibrahim Farrah spoke at a hafla in 1979 or '80, and he asked how many women in the audience had divorced or broken a relationship shortly after beginning lessons, and almost every hand in the room went up. It was amazing. He said that the dance changed women. That it gave them confidence, improved their self-image, made them stronger, and made them want more from life. Marriages made after dancing a while, when the women knew what they wanted, tended to last.
I don't know if the dance has the same effect now, because young women today start out stronger and with higher expectations for themselves and from life. In the 70s we were still second-class citizens.
So I'm sort of wondering if breast cancer changes a woman in a similar way. Does it make her look differently at her life as a woman? Does it change her expectations and interactions such that her husband doesn't know her any more?
What's the deal?
What brought this up is friends. The relationship is ten years old. The diagnosis was four or five months ago. They are splitting up. I don't believe it. He says it's him, he "decided it's time", but he says she agrees, and it's mutual. They'd been looking forward to a European vacation coming up in two weeks, and they've cancelled it.
I don't understand.
.
I know a few women who'd had a breast cancer diagnosis, and I've been aware of many more. And something I'd noticed that made we wonder - almost all of them ended long term relationships within three years of the diagnosis. Most sooner.
Whether there was a lumpectomy or mastectomy didn't seem to matter. How long the couple had been together, or whether there were children or not didn't seem to matter. It doesn't even matter whether the relationship was still sexual or not. Sometimes it was the woman who opted out, but more often it was the man.
The same thing doesn't seem to apply for other cancers.
What's the deal? Why?
In the 70s, when I first got into Mid-Eastern dance, in Washington, D.C., it was not unusual for a woman to leave her husband within three years of starting dancing. Ibrahim Farrah spoke at a hafla in 1979 or '80, and he asked how many women in the audience had divorced or broken a relationship shortly after beginning lessons, and almost every hand in the room went up. It was amazing. He said that the dance changed women. That it gave them confidence, improved their self-image, made them stronger, and made them want more from life. Marriages made after dancing a while, when the women knew what they wanted, tended to last.
I don't know if the dance has the same effect now, because young women today start out stronger and with higher expectations for themselves and from life. In the 70s we were still second-class citizens.
So I'm sort of wondering if breast cancer changes a woman in a similar way. Does it make her look differently at her life as a woman? Does it change her expectations and interactions such that her husband doesn't know her any more?
What's the deal?
What brought this up is friends. The relationship is ten years old. The diagnosis was four or five months ago. They are splitting up. I don't believe it. He says it's him, he "decided it's time", but he says she agrees, and it's mutual. They'd been looking forward to a European vacation coming up in two weeks, and they've cancelled it.
I don't understand.
.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)