3465 Negative vs positive perception

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

You’re pro-life AND pro-war? I’m anti-hypocrite, thanks.

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I read an article on perception this morning, at http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/crux/2011/12/14/if-you-cant-notice-a-gorilla-how-the-heck-can-you-testify-as-a-witness/, about how we don't see what we are not expecting to see, and how being focused on something can blank out other things, and how that affects jury expectations and eyewitness testimony.

Yeah. I've often said that even if a miscreant were three inches from my face, I'm not sure I could pick him out of a lineup, even if I had known him for years. I don't believe anyone else can, either, not positively. I have been told many times that I was SEEN places I've never been, doing things I have never done, they were absolutely positive it was me, and I'm a bit unique in appearance so that's very hard to understand.

As usual, I read the comments, and as usual the comments generated discussion beyond the topic. This particular off-topic comment was interesting:

...Could this relate to the percentage of us that will persistently perceive the negative, when no bias or even a positive bias is expressed? Those that will always look for the hidden message which must of course be negative? Then again, some percentage of the population will always perceive the positive, when negative aspects are presented? Would the term “Predetermined Perception (of reality)” apply to either? Are both simply alternate ways of filtering the real world to fit our expectations?....

Daughter is one of those folks who, if there's any necessity to fill in the blanks, any action or comment she doesn't fully understand, will always fill in negatively. She will attribute negative motives where none exist, until proven differently. That expectation is just a part of her personality, and has existed since infancy.

I'm mostly the opposite. I give the benefit of doubt. I expect and will attribute positive or neutral motives right up until the other person slaps me in the face. And even then, I try to understand why.

I'm not sure which is better.

Daughter assumes negativity, and is satisfied when she is right, and is pleasantly surprised when she's wrong.

I make positive assumptions, but being right is just "eh", and when I'm proven wrong I am terribly, deeply, hurt by the abuse of my trust.

So in the long run, maybe Daughter is happier? Maybe she's not because it's not often her negative assumptions are corrected, so she doesn't trust easily? Am I and my Pollyanna outlook better off, because it mostly doesn't matter when I'm wrong since I seldom actually get hurt? Is it better to run negative with frequent peaks of pleasant surprise, or to run positive with occasional plunges of hurt and disappointment?

Eh?

If someone says something to you and you're not sure where they're coming from do you assume a positive meaning or a negative meaning?
If you see someone hanging around outside a building, do you assume they're waiting for a ride, or that they're scoping the place out for a robbery?
Do you assume people want to take from you or give to you?
Do you interpret things negatively or positively until otherwise proven? And why?

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A quick example from a few weeks ago. Daughter and I were on a main road at about 5:30 pm, traffic was heavy, when we passed a house with a business-suited woman trying to open a front window, next to the front door, only a few feet from the road. She had gotten out of her car parked in front of the house and had gone straight to the window. Daughter wanted to call 911 and report a break-in in progress. I was not concerned. I pointed out that there was too much stop-and-go traffic and she was too visible for it to be a break-in. My immediate assumption was that she had locked herself out.

(I'd have been more concerned if she were working on a side or back window, and wearing something other than a skirt and high heels. And even if it was a break-in, being that visible, I'll bet she is known to the occupants.)

What would you think? Which way would you be inclined to jump first?
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