1726 Complaints

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The weatherman on the news said that there "will be no weather" today. I expected to look out the door and find a gray void.

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There was an episode of "Friends" where Russ had his teeth whitened, and they were so blinding that the others screamed and made him keep his mouth closed. Blinding white teeth were considered silly.

I've seen a lot of blinding teeth on TV lately. Seems like everyone who is going to be on camera goes out and gets a mouthful of porcelain. Toilet tank mouth. It takes over their face. It's getting to where that's all I see. Almost no one has teeth naturally that white.

Flashing teeth are as ubiquitous as fake breasts and vulva lips. It's just not good enough to be natural any more.

My teeth are nowhere near white. I drink a lot of tea, and I smoke, but even if I didn't my teeth wouldn't be white. In high school, before coffee, tea, and cigarettes, I placed about the middle on the dentist's shade chart (which, by the way, is about average). No amount of safe bleaching will get me any higher than that.

I am annoyed that all these startling teeth are threatening to make me feel inadequate, no matter how much I yell "Fake!"

What's next? Eye shape? Will we all be not almond enough, or not round enough?

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It's easy to tell it's been an annoying winter. I'm in complain mode. It's that or hide under the covers until the cherry trees bloom.
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