Ivillage.com has an advice "columnist" (she does videos) named Tracy Cox, who gives some pretty good snippets of "advice for singles". I watched a video on long distance relationships yesterday. I tried to embed it here, but it kept coming up just a black square. Doesn't matter. I can synopsize it.
A. Some things to consider:
- Accept that it's going to be hard. Maintaining a relationship by email or phone will be frustrating. It's a little easier if you had established a relationship before being separated, so you already knew each other well, because then there's less second-guessing and misunderstanding, more trust.
- Be sure you can afford it. There will be times when a quick trip will feel necessary. If you can afford it (both time and dollars), fine. If not, frustration.
- Accept that you will be lonely. Your friends will be going everywhere in pairs, and you will be going solo. You'll be lying alone in bed, wondering if the other is curled up with someone else.
- Disagreements will be harder to resolve. The lack of touch makes making up more difficult.
- Be sure that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Can you see it? Is it really possible that one or the other or both of you will be willing to move to be together?
- Ideally you should contact each other at least once a day, even if only a text message. Let each other know you're thinking about each other.
- Don't make time together too romantic. Don't try to schedule your time so everything is perfect. When you are together, try to be together as if you were living together. Use the time to find out if you would be compatible long term.
- If you find you get along better when you're apart than when you're together, you may be more in love with the idea of this person than with the person.
I'm getting very frustrated.
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