1526 Rocket Science

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I received this email from a friend this morning. As he said, you can't make this stuff up. I have his permission to share it:

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Yesterday I had the most insane conversation I've had in a long time. A couple of days ago I was putting my laptop bag in the passenger seat and yanked on the Sirius radio unit. It hasn't worked correctly since. I called the shop that installed it, and told them that I already have a Starmate Replay (from when I had my 2nd car) and I wanted to have that one installed into my car, replacing the Sportster that is in it now.

Oh my Gawd! I got three people. The first was a saleman who told me 'we don't sell those anymore, so you couldn't have gotten it here'. What? I guess if every purchase ever made there takes place at the instant the call is made, or at some point in the future, that would make sense. I didn't let that go. I said 'I have a Vikings Starter jacket also. They don't make those anymore.' His immediate response; 'we don't sell jackets here'.

I paused to check my watch. Yep, still the 21st century, and I was obviously sober. I forged ahead.

I asked to speak to someone in installation. I got a perky girl with a voice that made Minnie Mouse sound like Paul Robeson. I recapped the story and she asked 'when did you want to come in ?'. I said, 'today if possible'. She put me on hold and came back 12 minutes later. The next thing I heard was the same voice saying 'thank you for calling Best Buy, how may I help you?'. I told her I just spoke to her and what I'd asked. She said, 'I don't think that you spoke to me'. On the off chance that the good Lord punished two people with that voice, I asked if there was another woman there in that department. She said 'no, just me', then added 'was this about your car radio?'

Hmm. A moment to regroup. I checked behind me to see if Rod Serling was waiting to give a brief monologue. He wasn't.

'Yes, oddly enough it is!', I said. 'I guess working at the car stereo installation department of a huge chain store you don't get many queries about stuff like that, do you? I wanted to be the first.' Silk, it didn't even graze her bangs. Every word went completely over her head. She said, quite seriously, 'no, a lot of people call about that', and added 'almost all'. The next thing she said made me wince. 'What kind of radio are you looking for to buy?' No idea why, but what I saw in my mind was 'what kind of radio are you looking 4-2-bye?', then 'for tube eye', then finally 'for 2 buy'. None made sense, so I said 'excuse me'. She repeated it verbatim!!!

I needed a cigarette here I put her on hold, said a few things in Spanish, ate some pizza, and returned to the call.

'I need a manager.' was the next thing I said to her, hoping it would be the last. 11 minutes later a man answered and said he was the store manager. I explained everything, in detail, and he apologized and asked if I wanted them to install it or to buy a kit and do it myself. Since I am more likely to grow breasts than to wire my car to a Sirius radio successfully, I told him I wanted them to do it. He transferred me back to installation, I got Minnie again, and she told me I could come in on Wednesday at anytime. The cost would be $309 including a one year activation fee. That was it. I'm already activated. I don't want to buy a radio. I only need someone to install the one I already have! I called another Best Buy. $86 from now I'll have the thing done.

My guess is National Testing Day on the 20th [Mensa's annual membership drive] would have been wasted on these folks. I don't know how they even find their way to work in the mornings!
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