962 Nephew - Thursday Viewing

Sunday, November 5, 2006

I arrived in Orlando at about 2:30 pm on Thursday. Sister picked me up at the airport and took me to my hotel. We talked while I unpacked, and then she left.

The viewing (I hate to call it that, I don't like the connotation) was 6 to 8 pm, so she said she'd come by at about 6:30. At 6:30 I was waiting outside the hotel lobby doors, when a man walked up to me and called me by name, and started conversing. I didn't know what to think. Then it dawned on him that I didn't recognize him - it was Sister's ex-husband.

Niece arrived with a friend of hers, and then Sister arrived.

Shuffling of cars, thence to the funeral home - a beautiful building on a lake that reflected the lights of the city around it. The parking lot was full. The chapel was packed.

Sister smiled at me when I checked to ensure that the flowers I ordered were there and as described. They were, and the arrangement was huge. It embarrassed me a little, I didn't realize how big it would be - ostentatious - but at least it was red carnations and white daisies and stuff, not roses.

Nephew had apparently been on heavy steroids or something during the coma, because his face and hands (all that was visible - he was in full fire fighter dress uniform, including hat) were extremely swollen. Sister kissed him, but I didn't. It would have felt forced. I'd always liked him, but we hadn't had actual direct contact since 1990.

There was an honor guard of two firefighters in dress uniform slightly in front of and at either end of the coffin, standing at attention and facing each other. Every 10 minutes or so, three more firefighters came in, moved slowly up the aisle to the center front, where the five saluted Nephew (v-e-r-r-r-r-y slowly) and performed a choreographed changing of the guard. Every time they changed the guard, I started sniffling at the salute. The respect was palpable.

At first I wondered why they changed the guard so often, it wasn't such a strain to stand there for ten minutes, but then I realized that it was so that everyone from his company could have an opportunity to attend him. That made me sniffle more.

We stayed perhaps an hour.

I spoke to Nephew's mother and was surprised that I didn't embarrass myself or screw it up. (Except that I inadvertently upset his girlfriend. Oh well, I tried.) I am absolutely no good at stuff like that. I hate "receiving lines", and try to avoid them even at weddings.

My brother, Nephew's birth father, did put in an appearance, but he had left before we got there. I wonder if that was planned, coordinated somehow. Sister and I both have serious issues with him, but I'm not as forgiving as Sister. There may have been some concern about a nasty incident if we met, although nobody except he, I, and possibly Sister knows about it. Maybe it was coordinated not by people, but by Nephew's new friends.

I have no idea how he is reacting to Nephew's death.

Then Sister, her Ex, Niece (their mid-20s daughter), her female friend, and I all went to dinner at an upscale place, the kind where the menu price is huge and the serving is tiny (but good), and then back to my hotel.

Sleep was immediate.

I'll write about the funeral tomorrow. It was incredible. I'm still reeling.