Showing posts with label bad memory. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad memory. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

3322 Getting weird

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Alimony: Bounty on the mutiny.
-- Salada Tea tag line --

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I'm beginning to think someone is playing games with me. The "cars" folder, which is supposed to contain titles and service records (and I know I have put service records in there!) is empty.

Now I can't find the registration cards or insurance cards. They are supposed to be in the clove compartments. I always put them in the glove compartments within a day or two of their arrival. Always! In fact, Hal and Fred have plastic cases for them. If I hadn't put the new ones in the cases, then the old ones should still be there.

The cases are empty.

It would make more sense if the cases were missing.

I don't understand.
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Monday, May 16, 2011

3250 Mystery Pork

Monday, May 16, 2011

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”
-- Napoleon Bonaparte --

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I had a scare yesterday, Sunday. I went to the refrigerator yesterday morning for milk for my cereal, and found a storage container containing pork stuffed with bread, apples, celery, and raisins.

I recognized the storage container as the same set my daughter has, but I swear I had no idea where this one came from, or how long it had been there! Daughter and I had talked about stuffed beef rolls and stuffed pork chops a few days ago, recipies she'd remembered me making when she was small, and she'd loved them and wanted to know how to make them. I assumed this had come from her, because of the container, but I swear I don't recall her having given it to me. I had considered making stuffed chops myself and taking some over to her, but I didn't remember actually doing it.

I was floored. I know my memory is sometimes faulty, and for the past two weeks I've suspected the anesthesiologist in White Plains had given me Versed or something in the same family in spite of my having told him it causes me severe memory problems, because little things have been slipping the past few weeks, like anything that takes less than a few seconds I might not remember, but this is BIG! Whether I made it or Daughter gave it to me, it would have taken more than a few seconds, and I don't remember it!

It really scared me. I was afraid to mention it to Daughter, to ask, because she seems to think I'm pretty decrepit already.

Sunday afternoon she asked if I'd found the pork, and if I liked it. Found? Um, yeah, but how did it get there?

Mystery solved.

After my interrupted sleep Thursday night, utter dehydration, and severe IV trauma Friday followed by almost an hour of intense trembling (which is major muscle exercise!), I was completely wrung out on Saturday. I was cold and tired, and at about 7 pm I went upstairs and crawled into bed, still dressed. I just wanted to get warm in my soft fluffy nest, and maybe nap a little.

I fell asleep over a crossword puzzle and woke up at 3:30 am. Went downstairs, was surprised to find that the kitchen TV, lights, and computer were off (I had assumed I'd left them on), went outside for a cigarette, and then went back to bed. And fell asleep immediately again.

That's what I know.

What I didn't know:

Daughter had brought the pork over at 7:30 pm-ish Saturday. She rang the doorbell twice. When she got no answer, she tried the door. It was unlocked, so she came in. She knew I had to be home because of the unlocked door, my purse on the counter, Hal in the garage, and Fred in the driveway. She called me several times. She put the pork in the refrigerator, then went upstairs to look for me.

She found me in the bed with the light on, the covers up to my ears (so she didn't know I was fully dressed) and my face planted on the open crossword puzzle book. She said "Mommy? Are you ok?" a few times, but I was obviously comfortably asleep. She didn't want to startle me by touching me. So she went back to the kitchen, turned everything off, and left, locking the door behind her.

I can't believe I didn't hear the doorbell and didn't wake when she called or spoke to me. Seriously. That almost scares me. But I guess I really was completely worn out.

And I'm not quite as crazy as I was afraid I might be.

(The pork, once I knew it hadn't been sitting there for weeks, was delicious.)
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Monday, February 14, 2011

3165 Memory lost

Monday, February 14, 2011

"To mediocre minds, a brilliant idea and a stupid idea sound identical."
-- Scott Adams --

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When I first moved here, I was amazed at how good my memory suddenly got.

I've always had difficulty remembering things like my phone number, other people's names (my favorite story was when I called Daughter's high school from work to tell the office that I'd be picking her up for a doctor's appointment, and I couldn't remember my own Daughter's name - true story!), addresses, zip codes, which doctor I see, who my lawyer is, and so on. When I worked, I carried a notebook everywhere with an organization chart inside the cover, because otherwise I'd forget my own manager's name.

(On the other hand, I used to be able to remember all conversations word-for-word. I might not remember who I was talking with, but I could quote it back. When I was young, I could remember every word I read, to the point that I could tell you whether a particular sentence was on the right or left page, toward the top or bottom. But I couldn't tell you the name of the text/book/article/magazine or the author.)

But somehow, here, I picked it all up so easily. I GOT it all! I remembered new neighbor's names, my address, my phone number, names of localities, utility companies, the builder, the lawyer, all the street names involved in directions to the new house (which wasn't easy, because it seems like every place and street name around here is some combination of "wood", "bridge", "cliff", "water", "beach", "port", and "concourse", all mixed up in various unimaginative combinations).

I was so amazed at how easily names came to mind. I wondered if it had something to do with the water or something.

It's gone.

Suddenly now, I can't even remember conversations. Daughter will swear she told me something or other, and I have no memory whatsoever of the conversation. I'm having difficulty putting together street names, including my own. I just go blank. I have a sticky right now on the desk shelf right in front of my face, the word "CUMBERLAND" very carefully printed in capital letters, which means that it was important that I not mistake or misspell it --- and I have no memory of having stuck it up there, or what it means.

The toilet is the really scary one.

I always close the toilet lid before flushing it. I never leave the toilet open (a lifetime of kittens and puppies). Never ever. And I have a rather distinctive way of folding the toilet paper for use. And I always flush immediately upon standing. These are ingrained lifetime habits.

Twice in the past week (this morning was the second) when I got up in the morning, I've found the toilet lid up, and piddle in there. I'm pretty sure it's mine because of the way the paper is folded, but I have no memory of having used the toilet during the night.

Have I started sleepwalking? Or just forgetting?

After the past few months of being so sharp, this is downright scary.

The only thing I can think of that's changed is that I am no longer taking the thyroid supplement, and the memory problems seem to have started about a week after the last pill (I don't remember for sure, heh). 'Tis a mystery.

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Later: I searched for "thyroid memory". Surprise. Memory loss is a common symptom of hypothyroidism. But last Monday's blood panel says my TSH is fine, and so the doctor won't renew my prescription for the thyroid supplement. The doctor's office said they'd mail the report to me, but it hasn't arrived yet.

I dug around in purses and suitcases and located four more pills. I'll take them and see what happens. Maybe I need the tests repeated.

You know, some of the numbers were so far off what is usual for me, I'm beginning to wonder if they had the right patient....
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Thursday, July 23, 2009

2519 A diagnosis, I hope

Thursday, July 23, 2009

If you don’t know who the “mark” is at the table, it’s you.

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After Jay died, I gained a LOT of weight over the next three years. In 2005 I woke up and started losing. By early 2007, when I met The Man, I still had 15 pounds to go, but I was looking pretty ok.

Over the past year and a half, the weight started climbing again, and I wasn't eating all that much. Other things were happening, too. Like, I seemed incapable of starting or finishing anything. I was tired a lot, but not sleepy tired - just inertia tired. My mind wasn't working well. Thinking, formulating opinions, it was all so hard. Memory was going. I'd find a note on the counter in my handwriting, like "RSVP Susan 345-123-4567". It would be written on the back of a grocery receipt from only two days before, but I'd have no memory whatsoever of having written it, or why, or who Susan was and what I was supposed to RSVP for. Stuff like that.

I'd go back through the journal/blog of a few years ago, and I was amazed at the things I thought about. It's just too hard to think about things now.

I hadn't seen a doctor at all since 2000, except for a UTI in 2007. I probably wouldn't have this year if it weren't for the breast scare.

I've been eating carefully for five weeks now. Partly for weight, and partly for blood sugar. I lost some pounds the first two weeks, but nothing since.

Tuesday I had another blood test, and it WAS the thyroid they were rechecking, and yeah, I've got a sluggish thyroid.

If true, it explains everything.

I start the thyroid hormone pills tomorrow, should see some effects within two weeks if that really is it. Blood tests (aaaagh!) every six weeks for a while to adjust the levels.

I hope that is it. I was afraid it was just age, ye olde hardening of the arteries.
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Tuesday, October 09, 2007

1501 Heat

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

I just heard on TV that "they" expect heating oil to go up by 22% this winter. A few weeks ago I paid $1500 up front to lock in the August price for $1500 worth of oil. It was painful pocket-wise, but I guess it was a good decision.

Today I drove two hours and forty-five minutes to drop some stuff off on Daughter's back porch, then turned around and drove home. She and SIL were both still at work, and both had stuff scheduled for this evening, but I wanted them to get the stuff. So, quick trip.

On the way down and back I listened to a CD that a friend would like me to be familiar with. When I stopped at a rest area to get some food, I said to myself, "Ok, there are 14 selections on the album, and you've been listening to it for five hours. Name or describe three songs." I could think of only one. Worse, right now I can't remember even that one. Sometimes I worry about me.
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Saturday, March 24, 2007

1183 Nobody's Listening 2

Saturday, March 24, 2007

This morning, when I left the house to drive to Pennsylvania, I walked out the door saying, "Anniversary card, gift wrap, stockings". I had picked out a long dress to wear tomorrow evening, but was out of knee-high sheer stockings. (I insist on washing them in the washing machine, so they don't last long. Hey, I put them in a net bag with my trouser socks! Wadda ya want from me!)

I drove down the road repeating "Card, wrap, stockings." I parked at the pharmacy saying, "Card, wrap, stockings". I walked into the drug store and said, "Card, wrap, -------?" A woman walking by noticed the stunned look on my face, and I said "I KNEW I shoulda wrote it down!" I walked up and down every aisle hoping something would jog my memory, but nada. I did get the card and wrap, and ribbon, and was smart enough to have packed tape and scissors. I somehow had the idea that what I was missing started with a "C", and almost walked out of there with cough medicine before I remembered I don't have a cold. I even studied the disposable cameras. I don't know why I associated "C" with stockings.

I got 150 miles down the road when out of the blue, I shouted, "Stockings!" Yeah, Roman, sometimes I talk to myself and no one's listening.

So the first order of business tomorrow will be to find stockings.
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