Some people are like a Slinky, not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
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but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
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Becs mentioned yesterday that someone in a meeting raised her arms several times. I was reminded of meetings with the lawyers at corporate headquarters, back when I did that sort of stuff. The attorneys, even when they're working for the same company, seem to always be in competition with each other. Scoring points.
I had noticed that when meetings were tense, and when one seemed to feel that he had just made an important point, or when someone else had made a contentious point, he would "assume the position". He'd lean back, link his fingers behind his head and swing his head and elbows back, and gaze thoughtfully at the top of the opposite wall, or tilt his head sideways to look at others at the table as they speak.
Try it. It's actually very relaxing. Loosens any tension in the upper back and neck.
There's actually several things going on: 1) It's relaxing when the tension has built up and can help you to think. 2) It's a power position. It demonstrates, "I'm not worried. I am relaxed and in control and I'm carefully considering what the rest of you peons have to say, but you can't affect me. My position is secure." 3) It reveals that you were tense, which sort of negates the second effect.
But I doubt that others at the table analyze it that deeply. Mostly it just comes across as an unconscious power position. You look at him, you are tense, he is obviously relaxed, therefore he's one up on you.
One day I was in a meeting at The Company headquarters in White Plains. There were five attorneys at the table - and little peon non-attorney me. At one point, I brought up something worrisome that none of them had considered before, and that no one had an answer for. No one spoke in response, but all five of them assumed the position. I looked around the table, five men in identical position, leaning back with elbows in the air, staring off into space, then I slowly leaned back, linked my fingers behind my head, flexed my elbows back, and stared at the wall --- and the whole table cracked up.
They treated me more like an equal after that. At least, for the duration of that meeting.
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3 comments:
Interesting to know! I highly doubt Tinkerbell is threatened by me, though. I have absolutely no doubt that she holds a poor opinion of me.
I thought she was just showing off her tatas. And I don't mean a small Indian-made automobile.
Very interesting! I had to think about this, because I was sure that I had made this movement myself. Some times it's to relax and release tension, which I hold a lot in my shoulders. The other is the thought running in my mind of "Huh, that's an interesting thing or thought. Let me reflect on that." or even a "Do I really want to say what's on my mind?" thought. I am sure though that I have assumed that posture too when the thought of "uh-huh, go ahead and do or say whatever. I'm cool as a cucumber" has gone through.
The elbows raised and out also expands the space you occupy, which is an aggressive and dominant move.
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