2952 Thoughts

Friday, April 30, 2010

Impartial, adj.: Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting opinions.
--Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary --

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Where are all those people who were yelling for more offshore drilling? They've been awfully quiet these days.

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What happened to that bacteria that someone had discovered/developed fifteen years ago or so that "ate" oil? I thought it was used off the shore of Texas when there was a drilling leak sometime in the '90s, and it worked.

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There's something the psychiatrists call omnipotence, where one thinks their actions and thoughts have widespread influence. I think I may suffer from it. I have to sell some stock to buy the new house, and what I was counting on to get about 20% of the money from is BP stock. It's very hard for me to accept that it's coincidence.

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My urine has had a very bad odor for several months, so bad that I hate it in the morning. It's hard to describe - sort of like the vitamin-B odor with overtones of iodine, and what your hands smell like when you've been handling copper and zinc. Lately I get whiffs of the odor when I'm just sitting around. I'm beginning to worry that whatever it is, my skin smells of it too.

I don't have a UTI, so I thought maybe I'm dumping one of the many vitamins and supplements I take. While I was in Morocco I didn't take anything but the prescription thyroid supplement (L-Thyroxine), and my urine still stank, so maybe that's it? Internet research doesn't list stinky urine as a side effect.

As an experiment, I stopped the L-Thyroxine three days ago, and my piddle now smells like piddle. I guess the next step is to ask/tell the doctor. I'd been taking the lowest available dose of the thyroid, so unless you can cut the tiny dot-like pills, I can't take less.

(The pills are so small they're hard for me to handle with my fingers. I scoop one up with a fingernail.)

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Sign on the deli door, carefully hand-lettered in multiple colors and mixed cases:

~~NOTICE ~~

- No ID
- NO CiGERETEs
- No BEER
- No EXEPTioNs

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In June of 2009 I had crept back up to 150 pounds. Last February I started the "6 meals a day, a bit of protein at every meal, no sugar, low fat" diet. I am now at 126 pounds.

I weighed 135 when I first met The Man in March 2007, and he thought I was underweight then. He likes full-figured women, and I think that was a factor in my gradual weight gain over the next two years, but I didn't like it. I like me better now.

The weird thing is that I STILL have big thighs and a belly pad, and I'm hoping he will be satisfied with the 40" bust and 39" hips. They don't seem to ever go away. I'd like to lose the belly pad. At this point it seems to be just thick loose skin. I've got thinner loose skin everywhere. It hangs in very soft silky drapes that feel wonderful, but look awful. I won't be able to go sleeveless for a while, if ever.

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After yesterday's post, one might wonder how I have time this morning to post this. Well, Jasper has actually been sleeping on my bed lately. Last night I found his lost favorite tiny felt mouse, and I put it in the middle of the kitchen floor where he'd find it. This morning, he was tossing and pouncing on the felt mouse on my bed - at 6 am.

I got up early.
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