2945 Meetup Rant

Sunday, April 25, 2010

It is my firm belief that it is a mistake to hold firm beliefs.
-- Malaclypse the Younger --

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It's been about 4 months, and I've about had it with the Meetup groups. Man, some of these people are infants! There are many stories, but the latest has me ready to give it up completely.

Some woman, let's call her "Nell", sent me an email that she had noticed that a particular guy had joined the 50+ singles' group. She is friends with his ex-wife, and the ex-wife says he abused her and she had to get a restraining order against him. So Nell wants me to kick him out of the group, or at least spread the word through the group that he is dangerous and everyone should avoid him.

Duh? As far as I'm concerned, that's third-hand gossip, I don't know the particulars of the case, I certainly don't know the truth, and spreading accusations could be legally actionable. Our members are all adults, and they can make their own judgments. She can do what she wants, but I will not punish someone for something I know nothing about. Besides, if her sees her, Nell, on the membership list, maybe he won't show up anyway. I sent her a note to that effect.

She responded that she was disappointed that I would WANT a violent man in the group! (Huh?) She said that having been in an abusive relationship herself, she knows how hard it is. She said he doesn't know her because she didn't meet the ex-wife until after the divorce. She advised me to ask Meetup for advice.

So I did, and as expected, Meetup says that they don't get involved in the internal workings of a group, will get involved only if the website is used inappropriately. I wrote back to her with that info. I told her that I was offended that she accused me of wanting violent men in the group. I told her that restraining orders are not proof of anything, they're simply a tactic, that I had worked with a family law office in Hyde Park, and the attorneys joke that half of the people in Poughkeepsie had restraining orders against the other half, that I have personally had experience with abuse, but I've also had experience with gossip - where people said to my face that they know I did such-and-such because they were there and they SAW me, when *I* know for a fact that I had not done it, and in fact wasn't even there. I reiterated that our members are adults, and that she can say anything she wants to anyone she wants, but having no direct knowlege, I would not kick the guy out on the basis of third-hand stories.

She deleted her membership.

The woman has a doctorate in physics.

What you wanna bet she is now telling everyone that I want men in the group so badly I am willing to sacrifice the women to them.

I want to back away from all this crap. I didn't merely volunteer for this, I PAID for the privilege. How stupid do I have to be continue to pay to be insulted? (An organizer of a meetup group pays a hefty fee to start a group; members pay nothing.)

This is only the latest of many.

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Organizers of Meetup groups pay to start them, and it isn't cheap. It's something like $75 for six months. Several interest groups have been started by people who have something to sell, and they see Meetup as advertising, but mostly it's just social, like knitting groups, bicycling, book clubs, hiking, movies, dining, and so on. Some of the organizers do ask for a $1 "meetup fee", either at every function, or when it's time to pay the Meetup renewal fee.

Would you believe that there are people who object to paying that? And call the organizers all kinds of names for it? They seem to expect people to think up interesting outings for them, make the arrangements, make reservations, charter the bus, assemble a group for their amusement, and all they have to do is show up?

It's no damn wonder organizers burn out.