2263 Estate Lawyer

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Today I saw the lawyer who worked with me to settle Jay's estate. I took her the tiny bit of paper I had been sent from Jay's father's estate lawyer, and told her the few things I knew about what was going on. She was aghast. There's a whole bunch of stuff that was supposed to have happened before other things happened, papers to be signed, accountings I should have seen, and so on. She was surprised that all I was sent of the will is the one page that had my name on it, so we don't even know what the date on that page is.

I went to her only because it's looking like the sisters are playing fast and loose, and their lawyer (who was the one complicit in the rewriting of the will when she knew his diagnosis) doesn't seem to know the rules and procedures. So my lawyer is going to make sure they follow the rules, and I'm not cheated. She is going to find a lawyer in Rochester to represent me, through her.

Um, to review - after Jay died, the father-in-law updated his will so that I got Jay's share of his (the FIL's) estate. Before he died, Jay had asked his father to not forget me in his will. Jay had been named as FIL's executor, so he changed it so that I was named as a co-executor with the eldest sister. The eldest sister lives in Virginia, and the other two sisters didn't want to be executors, so I, being in NY and closest to Rochester, was a logical choice.

Then the husband of the youngest sister found out that I was going to get the same share as his wife (in other words, twice as much as HE would "get"), and apparently he flipped out. AFTER the father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, the two younger sisters took him back to the lawyer and had the will rewritten, cutting my share in half, and naming themselves as executors. The eldest sister and I didn't find out about this later will until after the FIL died. Big surprise.

The eldest sister was furious. At that point, the younger sisters said yes, it was after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and yes, he was not competent then and everyone knew it, but if anyone fought this will, they'd spent every cent of the estate defending it and no one would get anything, so there.

Ok.

At first I was angry that they'd do something so underhanded, then I decided it didn't matter that much, and ok, as merely Jay's spouse, half a share is probably quite fair.

But then they started pulling crap. Nothing in the house was appraised or even listed. They just took the good stuff home and threw the crap away. They bought loads of new furniture (sofas, vases, lamps, dining room furniture, bed coverings, curtains, throw pillows, coffee and side tables, rugs) to show the house, charged the new furniture to the estate, and then took that home, too. The house was sold to a neighbor for about a third of its value, or at least that's the number I was told. Travel costs for them and their grown children to attend the funeral are being charged to the estate. All kinds of things are being charged to the estate. They're raiding it. I would not be at all surprised to find that they're paying themselves the maximum executor stipend, too.

So whole bunches of money is being drained from the estate and going into their pockets as "costs", and my portion, which would be out of what's left over, is getting smaller and smaller as a result.

I want to see the final accounting, and my lawyer is going to get it for me, and we're going to raise hell where necessary.

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After my doctor's appointment last Thursday and the "emergency" mammogram and ultrasound Friday, they told me that my doctor's office would call me with the results on Wednesday. Tomorrow.

The doctor (not a nurse) called the house at 4:45 today, while I was at the lawyer's office, and I didn't get home until 5:00, after her office had closed, so I couldn't call back. Her message simply said to call her.

Is that a good or bad sign? That she called, rather than a nurse? That she called so close to closing, a day before expected? Like there was no time to waste or something?

Aaaaaaaaaaagh! I hadn't been at all worried, but now I am.
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