3617 Buttons

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Weak desires produce weak results, just as a small fire produces little heat.

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I went to the country house this past weekend, and again was overwhelmed.  I took Hal, the little car, so I couldn't bring back much, mostly kitchen stuff, like my electric wok, a large and a small electric grill, the huge electric griddle, a few dishes.  I also brought back two large jars of buttons:

Yeah, I collect buttons.

I put a regular teacup there to show scale. The larger jar is 11 inches tall and 10 inches in diameter. There are three or four more jars about the size of the smaller one still upriver.

Looking into the larger jar:

My grandmother used to keep me busy when I was a toddler by having me sort her buttons. She had about two shoeboxes worth, in a drawer in her treadle sewing machine (the machine I learned to sew on). She'd dump the buttons out on the kitchen table and have me sort them into bowls by color. Next time, she'd want them sorted by material (wood, metal, plastic, leather, pearl, etc.). Next time by shape (round, square, animal, oval, toggle, etc.).   Next time by number of holes (one, two, four).  When I was all done, she'd pick out one button ("There it is, that's the one I was looking for.  Thank you.") and then dump all the bowls together into the drawer.

I LOVED LOVED LOVED sorting buttons.   I'd be quiet and happy for hours!  Some were so beautiful.  Every time I sorted buttons, she'd let me keep the one I liked best to add to my own collection.  Those buttons were the start of my adult collection, planning toward my own grandchild.

I think my collecting got out of hand because I was disappointed in the button pickings these days.  Gramma's buttons were so diverse.  Many shapes, many materials.  These days, you get a choice of round or round, plastic or plastic.  So I search auctions and yard sales for buttons, and have to buy a bag of fifty plain ones ($3) to get the two duck-shaped ones and the one metal one.  I never throw out old clothing without cutting off the buttons.  One of the things I like about Coldwater Creek is that they use nice buttons, and always include extras - which go straight into the jar.  I've been known to pay a dollar for a tattered vintage dress or jacket at Goodwill just for the nifty buttons on it.

Ok, so maybe I'm a hoarder?  But my collections are in categories!  And they're sorted!  And neatly stored! It's just that there's so darn many....
books
buttons
teapots
haoris
porcelain owls
Staffordshire dogs
stone balls
paperweights
necklaces
saris
... oh dear.
I guess there's a lot of categories, too.
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3595 Hoarding

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

“Politics is a pendulum whose swings between anarchy and tyranny

are fueled by perpetually rejuvenated illusions.”

--  Albert Einstein --

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I just read an article on research in Hoarding Disorder.  I had watched a few episodes of the cable show, and I felt so bad for most of the hoarders.  I'd seen that they were very upset about things being thrown out, and I was myself a little upset because the people working at throwing things out didn't seem to understand the depth of the problem.  It's not just laziness, but I had no other explanation or suggestion except that logic had nothing to do with it, so using logic was not an answer.

I learned long ago that where emotional reactions or brain dysfunction is concerned, logic doesn't exist.

The article is "Inside the Hoarder’s Brain: A Unique Problem with Decision-Making", full article here.  An excerpt:

...the study found that people with hoarding disorder took much longer to make decisions about discarding their possessions and felt more sadness and anxiety about these choices than did the other participants. “One of the characteristics of hoarding is that people feel this sense of discomfort if they feel like they may be giving away something that they could use in future,” says Hollander, explaining that patients often become greatly distressed or even angry if they are pushed to give up apparently useless or excess possessions.
...
So, it’s not that hoarders are slobs or obsessive collectors. Rather, it’s that they have problems making the kinds of decisions about their stuff that others would consider reasonable.

Jay was absolutely a hoarder.  Kitchen garbage, things that would rot or attract bugs, went out, but nothing else that entered the house ever left.  I had to toss junk mail and empty cereal boxes when he wasn't looking.  If he bought a tube of super glue for some project, and it hardened in the tube after opening (as they all do), he would insist on keeping the tube anyway.  "It worked really well, so I want to keep the tube so I can buy the same stuff if I ever need something like that again."

That "something they could use in the future" really hit home.  I heard that over and over from Jay. Also, he had been diagnosed as an Aspie just before his final surgery, and Asperger's is related to autism (mentioned in the article).  Jay had difficulty with ALL decisions.

Also the "sadness and anxiety" part.  Jay actually hyperventilated when I threw out a huge box-load of UNOPENED  junk mail he had moved with him from Texas seven years before.  He got very upset and restless, and started hiding things in the den.

It all fits so well.

Me, I've got a lot of junk, way too much junk, but it doesn't qualify as hoarding.  It's the detritus of pity-me shopping sprees, especially in the four or five years after Jay died, trying to fill my empty life.  I've got to get rid of much of it.  It's not that I "think" it's valuable - it IS valuable, I know because I paid a small fortune for it.  It's not that I can't bear to get rid of it, it's that I want to get out of it close to what I put into it.  That's work, a lot of work, and I don't have time for it right now.  So, I'm not a hoarder - I am absolutely and frankly a lazy procrastinator.
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(P.S. - the Asperger's link might explain why so many Mensan's homes are so terribly cluttered.)
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