Monday, May 25, 2015

4044 Explosions and Implosions

Monday, May 25, 2015

“All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost.”
J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings


I don't know how I've missed this.  There's something called Intermittent Explosive Disorder (use that term for an internet search) currently categorized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) under the "Disruptive, Impulse-Control, and Conduct Disorders" category, characterized by explosive outbursts of anger, often to the point of rage, that are disproportionate to the situation at hand.  Someone can be going along just fine, and then some tiny thing will suddenly set them off, and they explode into a fury of aggression.  Sometimes it's loud verbal abuse, sometimes it's a physical attack on a person, sometimes it's destruction of property.

Quoting from Wikipedia, "Some individuals have reported affective changes prior to an outburst (e.g., tension, mood changes, energy changes, etc.). ... Aggressive acts are frequently reported accompanied by a sensation of relief and in some cases pleasure, but often followed by later remorse."

Hmmmm.  "Affective changes."  I wonder if that's what I was sensing when I knew ahead of time when my father was most dangerous.  I have described it as a peculiar smell he'd get sometimes.  If I walked into the house and smelled that smell, I'd turn around and walk out, find somewhere else to be for a few hours.  Some of the individuals describe sweating or other physical changes when it's "coming on".   And I always did think his rages were fun for him, that he enjoyed them.

I've known several people like that over the years.  People you have to tiptoe around, because you never know what will set them off.  They frighten me.  A lot.


I found a very good article on introversion.  I am an introvert.  On a scale of 1 to 10 on introversion, I'm probably a 9.5.  People keep accusing me of being shy, but I'm not at all shy.  I am a classic introvert.  Daughter keeps pushing me, "You need to get out more, Mom.  You need a social life."  Um, no, I don't.

Shy people are self-conscious.  Self-consciousness has nothing to do with introversion (an introvert can also be self-conscious, but it's a separate thing).  Introversion is an entirely different thing.  To an introvert socializing, especially with people you don't know well, inconsequential "chit-chat", is extremely tiring, draining, it feels downright stupid, and withdrawing to recharge is essential.  It's why whenever I visit people, I always stay at a hotel, not at their home.  I need to be able to get away, to be alone.  To pull myself back together.  I need time with me.  I like time with me.  I am most whole when I am alone.

If you know anyone you think is shy, please please a thousand times please read this:

If you've ever wondered why I hate the telephone, read it.
If you've ever wondered why I don't "chat" with people, read it.
If you've ever wondered why I  don't go to happy hours, read it.
If you've ever thought I'm antisocial, wondered why I stand in corners, read it.

The article is so good I want to print it off before it disappears, but I have not yet hooked up the new printer, so I'm getting a little frantic.  I want to have a hundred copies, so I can hand them out every time someone tries to drag me into a group,  with "You're too shy!  Nobody's going to hurt you!"  No, they will drain every ounce of my psychic energy with blather.

Bull shit!  Read and learn!


Bella said...

Try E-mailing the article to yourself. I've done this a few times when I wanted to re-read an article.

~~Silk said...

Good idea. Thanks.

I did do a copy and paste to a document on my hard disk. That loses the formatting, but keeps the essence. I'll try emailing it, see if that works better.

~~Silk said...

Well, I tried emailing it, but couldn't find a way. There's all kinds of buttons for sharing on "social media", but I couldn't find one for emailing. Am I missing something?