Saturday, January 17, 2015

4003 So many women remain lost....

Saturday, January 17, 2015

No man ever listened himself out of a job.
--Calvin Coolidge--


Over the past 15 years I have been able to locate a lot of my classmates from high school and college --- the MALE classmates.  I have been able to locate only three old female classmates --- one who never married, and two that I know who they married.

Women who change their name when they marry get lost.  They get cut off from the past.

I don't understand why young women today still change their name.  Unless they want to hide from the past, it no longer makes any sense at all.  You'd think there'd be a movement among socially aware young women to maintain their own identity.

I don't understand.

There used to be a time when it didn't matter, because women had no identity of their own.  Their identity was solely based on who their father was, or who their husband was.  (Who owned them, basically.)  Their world was very small, circumscribed by men.  Men put their stamps on them.  That's the time that this name-change custom came from.  

Girls --- marry.  But keep your birth name.  If your future husband doesn't like that, maybe you should ask him why before marrying him. Better yet, if he wants that both of you have the same name, propose that HE change his name to yours (it's just as easily done), and if he reacts with horror, ask him to explain why that's such an awful idea, then maybe he'll understand.


the queen said...

I intended to keep my name but it really offended my in laws. Instead I changed my birth name it my middle name. Best I could do.

Zayrina said...

First marriage I changed names. At the time of the divorce I went through and chanced everything back to my maiden name. Second marriage I did not. Part of it is because my husband has a German name that absolutely no one seems to be able to pronounce initially. Also his ex is also a nurse and since she goes by his last name it would cause issues there. Finally my last name is simple, it's 5 easy letters and no one ever mispronounces it. Husband understood and has no issues.