Saturday, December 08, 2012

3678 Paths

Saturday, December 8, 2012

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.


Back in 2006, I met a few guys through online dating sites, one of whom I called B00ker, because he owned a bookstore somewhere in the Berkshires.  He was handsome, intelligent, charming, all the good stuff, but he had some kind of problem with his legs, so I ended up turning him down and then beating myself up for it.  The post(s) about him and my angst are here.

I didn't know then what was up with his legs.  Judging from what little I saw of his feet and ankles, and based on a series of random links I followed yesterday, I think now it was probably lymphedema.

There is therapy to reduce the swelling, but it's a lifelong thing.  If you stop the massage and the wrapping, it'll just come back.  If not treated, the swelling just gets bigger and bigger, and you can die from it, usually from infection.

So now, if that is what it was, and if I had known that then, would I have tried a relationship with him?  Maybe.  I don't know.  I might have stuck around long enough to get him into therapy to the point where he saw some improvement and was encouraged to keep with it, and by then I'd have a better idea.

But, I'm pretty certain he didn't have health insurance, so it would have been moot anyway.

Since I've read up on lymphedema I've been thinking about him.  Wondering how he's doing.  If he got treatment, he's probably doing just fine.  If not, he's probably dead.


This is the season most people think of charity.  This video is not about throwing money.  This is about thinking about what is needed.  It made me smile.



Becs said...

Don't blame yourself about Bookman. He knew the risks he was taking by not having health insurance. (Been there, done that.) It wasn't your job to save him - and he didn't especially seem to want to be saved according to this post.

He chose his path. Please don't feel guilty about it.

~~Silk said...

What makes you think he didn't want to be saved?

It's possible he didn't know what the swelling was (I didn't until yesterday), or that anything could be done. As to insurance, once the condition was known, there probably isn't an insurance company anywhere who would have insured him without excluding that condition. He may have planned to wait a year for Medicare.