3394 MeetUp rant

Sunday, November 13, 2011

A family is only as sick as its secrets.

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I went to another MeetUp luncheon in the Princeton area today. There were 10 at table (a round table, which is always nicest). I'm enjoying this group. When the bill came, it got passed around the table and folks put their money in. The organizer was the last to get it, and when he did, there was about $9 more there than was required. His personal total was only about $12. He tried to give money back to others who had put a dollar or so extra in, but we all told him to shut up and put $3-4 in, and consider it his organizer privilege. I asked him if this was his first MeetUp group, and when he said "Yes", I explained to him that soon the CRAZIES will start joining, and he will EARN that few dollars. I didn't give him any details. He'll find out soon enough.

Ah, the crazies.

Like the guy in Rhinebeck who got furious with me and called me some nasty names because I scheduled a movie he wanted to see, on a Thursday night. He had a dog obedience class on Thursday night, and he acted like I had chosen Thursday purposely to exclude him.

Hey, if you don't like it, pay the $70 like I did and start your own group that goes to movies on Wednesday nights! Thursday is convenient for ME, and I paid to start the group.

Or the guy who was vegetarian, and blasted me because I had chosen a BBQ place for dinner.

Hey, if you don't like it, pay the $70 like I did and start your own group that goes to vegetarian restaurants! I like BBQ, and I paid to start the group.

Or the woman who wanted me to kick another guy out of the group because he was the ex-husband of a friend of a friend of hers (a woman whom she didn't know personally), and he had supposedly been physically abusive, and when I said I wouldn't kick him out on the basis of what amounted to a fourth-hand rumor (having worked in a family-law office, I know to take divorce proceeding claims with a large grain of salt anyway), she then castigated me in several screaming emails that smoked in my inbox, and broadcast emails to everyone in the group telling them that I condoned abuse and put everyone else in the group in danger, and therefore she was leaving the group and advised everyone else to also drop out in protest.

Hey, if you don't like it, pay the $70 like I did and start your own group that talks behind people's backs and blackballs people! I give people a chance to show who they really are, and I paid to start the group.

Or the woman who got pissed because she couldn't find me in the 4'x10' lobby of the tiny Rhinebeck theatre, even though she had my photo, accused me of ducking her because I didn't like her looks (um, bad blind date experiences, lady?), told me how nasty that was, and then didn't bother to apologize when I pointed out that she had the wrong evening.

Hey, read the listing! I paid $70 for the privilege of taking a lot of time to do all the research, write up the announcement, show up early to meet people, the least you can do is READ the damn listing.

Or the woman who apparently didn't read the part of the group description that said we would NOT be doing bars, booze, and bands, and then got angry with me when I repeatedly refused to schedule happy hour events at the Starlight Bar when her friend's band was playing there.

Hey, read the listing! I paid $70 to set up a group to do dinner out, street fairs, museums, and movies, period. I am not here to drum up support for your friend's band. The least you can do is READ the damn group description.

Or the people who RSVP yes, and then don't show up and don't cancel. How often can you reserve a table for eight and have only two show up, before the restaurant won't take your reservations any more?

Or the folks who consistently don't pay their fair share of the restaurant tab. Or, or, or....

MeetUp organizers PAY $70 for six months. They do it to get people together to do whatever it is the ORGANIZER wants to do, WHERE the organizer wants to do it --- NOT for the privilege of catering to the individualized and special needs of self-important people who seem to think that you have signed up to be their unpaid social directors.

Hey, it's MY group. Thursday happens to be most convenient for me! I happen to like BBQ! I don't punish people on the basis of rumor! If you don't like what I'm doing in my group,

SCRAPE UP $70 AND START YOUR OWN DAMN GROUP!

Oops. Sorry.

I'm still having trouble with it.

Because there are still people who want organizers to cater to them, and I want to yell at them.

The organizer today asked the table where they'd like to go next week. Nine people. "Oh, let's go to xxx." "No, I don't like xxx. They're too expensive. Let's go to yyy." ...and so on. He's set himself up, because now if he does decide to go to xxx, he's got at least one person pissed at him. "You KNOW I can't afford that place! I told you so!"

Hey, you are NOT being snubbed. You are free to join in or not, as suits you and your abilities and needs. You are NOT free to dictate what I can and cannot do.

After lunch a subset went for a walk along the canal in Princeton, and when the organizer was asking what people wanted to do, I told him he can't satisfy everyone, so he should just do what HE wants to do, and invite others to join him. It's the only way.