1833 Sex and the Country Girl

Sunday, June 1, 2008

The post about Rape and Stuff has generated a few comments and a few private confessional emails, enough to convince me even further that 1 in 4 is too low. And I wasn't even counting simple physical harassment.

When I married Ex#1, and again when I married Ex#2, they each had a best friend, a buddy they'd known for years, best man at the wedding.

Ex#1 and I had a week together before he left for military duty in Germany, and then I was alone. One day, about a month after Ex#1 left, there was a knock on the door, and I found the buddy standing there. He said he'd had a fight with his wife, and wanted to talk. Naturally, I let him in, and within seconds he was all over me. At one point he grabbed me from behind, and I jumped up and came down with a high heel on his sneakered foot. I broke two toes. That convinced him I was serious, and he left, and as soon as he was out the door I called his wife, told her he'd been there, and that I was sending him home with a broken foot. She said "Thank you." I never told Ex#1, but he was angry with me after that because I never wanted to visit them.

Ex#2 and I had been married about two weeks when he had some second shift testing slots, and sure enough, one evening the best buddy came to visit. Again, he came on strong immediately, and couldn't seem to understand when I told him to get out. I literally had to swing a lamp to get him out. I called Ex#2 at work and told him what had happened. I don't know what was said between them, but the two remained friends. I just didn't have to see him ever again.

What really got me was the attitude of both buddies. They really truly seemed to feel that their friendship with my husband conferred a right to my sexual favors. They acted like it was some kind of social contract that I didn't seem to understand, that they had permission. That my husband would be willing to share, and I had no say in the matter.

Is there something I don't know? Some kind of male code?

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I saw the Sex and the City movie. I'm not going to say much about it, except that it was pretty much like the series, ties it all up neatly. If you liked the show, you'll like the movie, if you don't know the show, you probably won't "get" the movie.

I want to talk about the audience.

It's a small multiplex in the village, the kind with about 100 seats in each theater, and audio spillage from the movies on either side. Ironman and Indiana Jones happened to be showing on either side. Bleck. You have to practice selective hearing.

Anyway, with those two also showing, I couldn't understand why there were ANY men in S&tC. About 1/4 of the seats were filled for the 5 o'clock showing. It was mostly groups of women, but there were a few men with women. I guess there are still women out there who won't go to a movie alone, and men who will humor their women. (I know that The Man would absolutely refuse to escort me to something like S&tC!)

I was amused to see one man there alone, and more amused to see four all-male couples, couples who leaned into each other.

One man/woman couple behind me reminded me why there are several men in my history in whom I had lost interest immediately after attending a movie with them.

The guy had to comment constantly, in a normal volume voice, on what was going to happen. Obvious stuff. Like Big says he's going to build Carrie a larger closet. Later, he leads her to a closed door, and says, "Open it." The genius behind me says, "It's a closet." Carrie opens the closet door. Samantha sees a dog for sale, and looks at it with raised eyebrows. Genius says, "She's gonna buy the dog." Samantha buys the dog.

This was like every 30 seconds!

I have to wonder.
Does he always verbalize every thought that drifts through his pea brain?
Is he trying to illustrate how perceptive he is?
Does he really think his date is too stupid to interpret what she's seeing?

I was very tempted to turn around and ask the woman that last question - "Excuse me, but does he always assume you're too stupid to figure things out for yourself?"

Next time, I sit in the last row.
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