I got a comment on 722 Intimi - Dating? that led me to see things more from the male point of view. The comment and my response:
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quiet and comfort, softness, no challenge. Someone who will say "Yes, Dear" all the time.
He's even said that, that he is "more comfortable" with the other woman than with me. I thought at the time that he was referring to the way I rake him over the coals every so often for his duplicity. I've told him that she's all sweetness and light because she doesn't know what's going on, and I'm thunder and lightning because I do, and it's unfair for him to compare us when she doesn't know.
But that isn't it at all.
He recently told me that she's "not a candidate for Mensa" (his words), that she's not too bright. This in response to my saying I didn't understand how she could accept his lies, how she hadn't already figured out something was going on, I mean there are clues everywhere.
So there it is. He prefers her because she's not too bright. That makes her "comfortable". No challenge.
The fool. He doesn't realize that all his complaints about his previous wife have to do with her stupidity and lack of common sense. He chooses stupid women because they are comfortable, and then when he lives with them, their stupidity eventually drives him crazy. Someday he'll see it for himself, but...
I can't wait that long.
Which is very sad, because we really are extremely well matched. I find him more intelligent than I, because he has attributes I lack, and the key is that I am smart enough to fully appreciate his intelligence, and will continue to do so. His usual choices in women eventually find him merely exacting, demanding, and annoying. Which I'm sure he's not yet with her, because he's still in the "comfortable" stage.
But just wait until she allows him to move in with her. And he gets bored and frustrated.
I can't wait that long.
Crap!
"Bad. Everything you say seems to have meaning. I'm not used to that."
Hum... either a mentally retarded moron or he has been dating mentally retarded morons... what kind of talk is that?
If a woman is not smarter than me, why would I want to be with her?
Ah. Yes. But these are American men, who tend to be unsure of themselves to begin with, 58 to 63 years of age and beginning to feel it, who have been through a recent traumatic divorce, and who are probably therefore lacking in self-confidence. I think all they want now is quiet and comfort, softness, no challenge. Someone who will say "Yes, Dear" all the time.
I can provide all that. But I guess they can't see past the ... whatever it is I exude.