Tuesday, October 18, 2011

3370 Manifesto



Cards and poster available at www.holstee.com/manifesto.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

3369 Read reports with a grain of salt, please!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

The author of The Starr Evidence, a compilation of Clinton/Lewinsky testimony,
is Wall Street Journal reporter Phil Kuntz.
I can't believe that name is real! Especially in that context.
--Silk --

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Iraq and Afghanistan are slowing down, so now "they" are hot to attack Iran.

Interesting, eh?

Do we have any more influence over what our government does than the Iranian people have over what theirs does? What does that mean?

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A long time ago I pointed out that the job market died at about the same time as the military needed volunteers. I predict that the job market will not recover until the military no longer needs large amounts of bodies.
.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

3368 Two mysteries solved!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

A good thought provoking question: What painting would you like to step into?

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I'm one of those people who doesn't take aspirin when I have a headache, not because I have anything against medication, but because when I have a headache, my head isn't working right! And so I never even think of aspirin. Same with colds and antihistamines, and so on. When I'm sick, I need a nurse. I'm an excellent nurse to others, but not myself.

So when I had the fibro attack Wednesday and Thursday, I was in so much pain everywhere it didn't occur to me to ask why until I realized on Thursday night that I hadn't been drinking my usual three quarts of water per day. In fact, since like Saturday I had been down to maybe one quart per day, if that, plus all the physical exertion.

I had been distracted by Daughter's back problems.

Thursday night between 8 and 11 pm I drank about two quarts, and almost immediately felt better.

Sometimes I'm a complete idiot.

--------------------------------

I've been feeling a little rejected lately. I admit that being busy the past few weeks, and not taking the laptop with me when I go upriver, I haven't been commenting on others' blogs much. But what hurt a little was that often when I did comment, my comment never showed up. Like it had been rejected or blocked or something.

This morning I discovered something weird in Blogger. I'll type my comment and the verification word, and the ID part says "~~Silk", like usual, I hit "post", and then I get a small (new) popup screen that invites me to create a blog. I'd been just closing that screen.

This morning, I noticed that there was more text to the right in that popup, so I widened the screen, and POW!, there's a login section. I had assumed that since Blogger knew it was me, that I was logged in. I guess not. I guess my comments have been disappearing because Blogger considered me not logged in.

I don't understand.

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This is cute. I hope you don't need a Facebook id to see it, but I can't figure out how to copy it over. If you do have a Facebook id, you'll probably have to log in. It's Nugget's first time in her highchair (5 months old), and an early taste of rice cereal. That's Daughter feeding her, but I seriously didn't recognize Daughter's voice. Do catch Nugget's comment at the end. I don't know where she learned that (Gramma is looking away, digging her toe into the dirt, and whistling).

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=2287617148820

(No, I don't have an indoor pool. Just a bathtub. All they have is a shower.)
.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

3367 Keeping Track

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Definition: Apophasis - mentioning something you won't mention, such as
"I won't even mention his arrogance!"

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Just a note so I can keep track. I seem to be having a flareup of fibro. I hurt everywhere, badly. And a few minutes ago an ocular migraine started. I can barely see.

These things seem to happen when I'm physically stressed.
.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

3366 HOTW redux

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Ignorance is not knowing something you should. Nescience [ne-she-ence]
is not knowing something you should not be expected to know. [Adjective - nescient]
If someone calls you ignorant, correct them. You are nescient. Now who's ignorant?

-----------------------------------------------

In post #3359 I dubbed JR Martinez as HOTW. This video is further justification (as if I need any). Embedding has been disabled, so you have to follow the link to YouTube to see it, but do go. Listen to his message, enjoy the body.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

3365 A Long Week

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

An absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in February, March, April, when the revolution in Egypt was in full swing, I mentioned in several blog posts that it looked to me like the "friendly, supportive" Egyptian army was just using the populace to achieve their own ends. Mubarak had gained control via a military coup. I figured that as soon as Mubarak was gone, all the dirty work done by the revolutionaries, the army brass would take control, and delay anything resembling an election for, oh, a few decades.

Five points to me.

--------------------------------

Daughter and I and the Nugget went upriver on Sunday, the third, and then Daughter and Nugget brought Suzy the Suzuki back down here on Monday. Suzy has four doors, easier to get the Nugget in and out than her two-door Honda, so I'm giving Suzy to Daughter.

We stayed Sunday night at a hotel in Kingston, NY, and on Monday morning, Nugget and I checked out the hotel pool. I copied these photos from Daughter's Facebook page, and I don't know why they came out different sizes.




This one cracks me up every time I look at it.

She absolutely loved the pool. "Look at me, Mommy! I'm swimming!"

--------------------------------

We returned on Monday, and I intended to go back up on Wednesday, the 5th, with the minivan and return with a load on Friday. But Wednesday something I ate didn't agree with me, and a long drive was not advisable, so I drove up early Thursday, and then spent most of Thursday afternoon on some business in Kingston. On Friday I finally got to do some sorting and packing, and I was accomplishing so much and it felt so good, I decided to stay another night and return Saturday evening.

Luckily, I packed the van on Friday night, mainly to give me more sorting space in the house.

I say "luckily" because early Saturday morning I got a tearful call from Daughter. She had thrown her back out the evening before, could barely walk, and couldn't pick the Nugget up. A neighbor was helping her out, but couldn't stay (holiday weekend, you know). So I rushed back downriver.

Saturday and Sunday I camped at Daughter's house (across the street). She's more mobile now, and Nugget, believe it or not, has learned to stand up (with help with balance) when her Mommy wants her on the lap to feed her, which makes it easier. So I go over when I get a call that Nugget needs high lifting, like to the changing table, in or out of the crib, and especially out of her truck-walker or bouncy swing. I've also been taking Daughter to her chiropractor and acupuncturist.

The van is still loaded.

Sigh.
.

3364 Ice Moon

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Fundamentalists, whether Muslim, Christian, or Jew, hate to love and love to hate.

-------------------------------------------------------

There's a full(ish?) moon tonight, and there's a circle of rainbow around it.

That means high ice.
.

3363 Ack!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Endless enemies are good for profits, propaganda and control.

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I'm always moaning about how so many people today don't know about homonyms. Partly it's that they aren't discussed in school any more, having given way to "more important things", and partly it's that young folks don't read good writing these days, just stuff written by each other.

I found this example this morning, in a comment on an article about a woman overwintering in Antarctica who had a possible minor stroke, whose relatives insist that others must risk life and limb to get her out:

When you go to thoughs locations you know the risk.

I'm still having trouble believing someone actually wrote that. On purpose.
.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

3362 Nuttin'

Wednesday, September 5, 2011

Love is blind, but the neighbors are not.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been eating a lot of pistachios lately, and I found a trick that really works. Know how there are always a few nuts that aren't opened, and the shells are so hard it's next to impossible to get them open? They almost always have a frustratingly tiny crack.

Simple method. Take a half-shell from an earlier nut, insert the edge of that half-shell into the tiny crack in the reluctant nut, and twist it, lifting toward the point of the nut. It'll pop the shell open. Works every time.

--------------------------------

Daughter and I and the Nugget went north Sunday evening, stayed in a hotel in Kingston, NY, and then picked up Suzie the Suzuki Monday morning. Daughter drove Suzie back. Suzie has four doors where Daughter's Honda has two, which makes it much easier to get the Nugget in and out of the car seat, so I'm going to give Suzie to her. Sadness - I really enjoy driving Suzie. For a small car she has lots of room, a huge trunk, her high windows allow a marvelous view, and she has a smooth ride. But I don't really need her, and Daughter's life will be much easier with her.

-------------------------------

I've been checking out car insurance. My NY insurance (Travelers) currently covers the three vehicles: 2011 BMW, 2000 Dodge minivan, and 2003 Suzuki, and costs about $1,800 per year. I called my agent to tell her I'd moved to NJ, and that I'd be dropping the Suzuki, so please rewrite the policy. She said "Oooo, it's a lot cheaper in NJ". I'm still waiting for the new quote, but in the meantime I've got quotes from other companies for the two vehicles, and I'm freaking out.

Geico, you know, the ones that are supposed to be pretty reasonable? Their quote was close to $1700 for six months! I had palpitations! Liberty Mutual says $1164 per year, so maybe there's an error somewhere in Geico's quote.

--------------------------------

Heading north again this evening.
.

Friday, September 30, 2011

3361 Progression

Friday, September 30, 2011

The purchase of an unneeded item costs twice.
-- Silk --

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For decades now, three or four times a day I find myself in a room, or standing in front of a closet or drawer, with no idea why I'm there. I say aloud to myself, "What am I after?", and the answer eventually comes.

Lately I ask aloud, "What am I after?", and I answer myself, aloud, "I don't know."

Answer comes there none.
.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

3360 Winnowing

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Man must be careful to never mistake human justice for divine justice.

----------------------------------------------

Imagine a loving parent with 12 children, now imagine asking that parent to give away eight of them. Worse, make it not "give away", make it "get rid of".

That's how I feel about clearing out the old house.

I simply have too much stuff. But every bit of it was individually chosen. Every piece was acquired because I loved it. Every item is individual and special.

I don't have room for all of it here, but what do I get rid of?

It's hard.

I want to find loving homes for most of the stuff that I just can't keep, and one way to ensure that is to sell it. If people pay for stuff, they're more likely to actually want it. But nobody is buying stuff.

I have a collection of about 38 teapots. I figure I should pick ten and sell the rest. Go to ebay, search for teapots, and you get page after page of "0 bids". I have hundreds of vintage '60s and '70s dress patterns. Same thing - "0 bids". Quilt blocks are selling, but at $4 for 40 squares, it's not worth the time it would take to cut up my fabric stash. I'd donate the fabric, less emotional involvement there, but nobody wants it.

So I pick things up, hold them, look at them, think about where I would put it in the new house and if I don't have an answer, I think about what I can do with it to "get rid of it", and I feel like crying.
.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

3359 HOTW - J.R. Martinez

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A problem cannot be solved at the same level at which it was created.
-- Albert Einstein --

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It's been a long time since I picked a Honey of the Week. This guy has been on my radar a long time. I first saw him while channel surfing through "All My Children", and he stopped me. Instant reaction to him. Since then I occasionally check the soap to see if he's in the day's storyline.

He was badly burned in Afghanistan. Heavily scarred. But he still has the most gorgeous eyes, and he's smoothly sexy. His voice, body, the way he moves. Plus, he's 100% nice guy. He absolutely fits my qualifications for HOTW.


He was brought to mind by last night's Dancing With the Stars. I didn't watch the show, but I heard he'd done well, so I found the video on YouTube:


His scars barely show there. Must be heavily made up.
Link
His story is at http://www.knowjr.com/about/jrs-story.
.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

3358 Past Flash

Sunday, September 18, 2011

For a true scientist, being wrong is just as interesting as being right.

---------------------------------------------------

I'd mentioned TD&H* 1 and 2, who ran the gas station/quick shop in the village at the old house, and that TD&H 2, the younger brother, flirted heavily with me last summer, just before I moved. (We'd taken a ride, and sat by the river one afternoon, and he wanted me to go out for dinner and drinks. I said thank you, I'm flattered, but no, but he kept trying right up until I moved.)

Well, I still subscribe to the online news feeds for the village. TD&H 2 (age 47) was arrested today in a sting operation. He sold a beer to an underage undercover agent.

Why am I amused? Shaking my head, but amused.
.

[* TD&H = tall, dark, and handsome.]

Saturday, September 17, 2011

3357 Been a while....

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Intelligence does not automatically convey knowledge.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's not like I've been especially busy, although I have managed to get a few things done. I now have a NJ driver's license, TV and internet cable, a house phone, got Hal's paws aligned, and have arranged for gutter cleaning and screening, and a few other things. I've got the pulleys, hooks, and cargo net for the attic, but since the hurricane, rope has been hard to find, so that's not finished yet.

One at a time:

NJ Driver's license

I'd been dreading going to the DMV, because I'd heard NJ DMVs are understaffed, have long lines and inefficient procedures, and everything takes a full day to accomplish. I went in one morning to find out what I'd need to get the license changed and the cars registered. There were no lines, and the people were very helpful. In and out with a list of "gets" and "to dos" in 15 minutes. Back the next day with the required documents for the driver's license.

And yes, there were some inefficiencies. Because I already have a valid NY license and no violations, I didn't have to take any tests. But I still had to fill out the forms and pay for a "temporary permit". When they took my picture, the woman asked if it was ok, "but this one is just for the temporary permit", so I said "yeah, it's ok, although I don't think of myself as having jowls". THEN she entered the data from the forms for the permanent license. I was under the impression I'd get a temp that day, and the permanent would be mailed, but then at the end she handed me the permanent, with the "temp" photo on it. Duh?

So I paid for a temp, AND for a perm, and she entered the data twice, once for the temp and then again for the perm, and I never got the temp. Uh, why not just skip the temp part entirely, and why make me pay for something you never had any intention of giving me?

I can't register the cars until I switch the insurance. I called my NY agent, and it was really simple. She said the insurance is even cheaper in NJ.

Daughter and I talked about Suzy Suzuki. Daughter has an 11-year-old Honda 2-door, and with the Nugget getting bigger, it's getting harder to get her in and out, so I'm going to give 4-door Suzy to Daughter.

Now I'm just waiting for the new insurance cards, and I can register Fred and Hal.

TV cable, WIFI cable internet, house phone

That all came as a FIOS package, for just about as much as I am currently paying for broadband internet alone. I had thought I could drop the broadband, but unfortunately there's no other way to get to the internet from the old house, so I'll have to keep it a bit longer.

The cable TV is annoying because there's just so much to choose from. I guess I'll find out what I like at some point, but in the meantime it's so overwhelming I find I don't watch at all. Which, actually, may be worth the cost.

I haven't handed out the house phone number at all, but the damn phone rings every half hour - people trying to sell me things (yeah, I got on the nat'l do-not-call list, but it'll take a while for that to take effect) and calls for the folks who used to have this number. Apparently they were deadbeats. Most of those calls are from collection companies. I recorded a message saying that "I do not answer this phone. I've had this number only since 9/2, so I'm probably not the person you're looking for, and I do not buy anything on the phone. I do check messages, so if you are certain you want to talk to me anyway, leave a message."

Nobody leaves messages, but the phone continues to ring about every half hour. There doesn't seem to be a way to turn the ringer off.

The internet connection is fantastic! I can actually watch YouTube videos right off, without waiting for them to load.

Hal's alignment

After the latest new tire application, the tire dealership told me that Hal needed alignment, but they preferred that BMW do it. It didn't seem too bad - no shimmy or pull, just a little less nimbleness in handling - and I don't drive him that much, so I didn't get around to it until this past week. The nearest BMW shop is a over a half-hour away down roads packed with shore traffic, so I waited until school started to take him in. The procedure took a half day and cost over $200, and now he's pulling to the right.

Crap.

Gutter cleaning and screening

Damn Gum tree balls. The gutters were so packed last winter that they filled with ice, and dumped ice and water down the driveway. Dangerous. In the past few rain storms, they've spilled water out about four feet before the downspouts. Annoying.

I was afraid it would cost a small fortune to get some kind of leaf and ball proof covers, but turns out it'll be less than $600 for both sides of the house roof and the porch roof. That's about half what I expected, given that two cleanings a year would come to $300/yr.

Installation is next Friday.

Attic pulleys

Attic access here is a drop-down ladder/stairs hatch in the upstairs hall. Those ladders are steep and because of the hinges they feel rickety, and I'm never comfortable on ladders anyway. So in every house I've lived in, I've installed pulleys so I don't have to carry anything up and down the ladder. One pulley in a rafter at the top and one that raises and lowers at the bottom halves the weight, too. At the bottom I use a fishnet arrangement to hold the stuff going up.

I have all the materials to do it except for the rope. I need 50 feet of clothesline-like rope, and it just doesn't exist anywhere right now. Every place sold out when the hurricane was coming. So I wait for restocking.

Family

The company SIL Hercules works for is, um, an Irish firm famous for crystal. They were bought out a while ago by a British company famous for china, especially featuring, um, a particular shade of blue. Anyway, they're consolidating and trimming, and Hercules' department is getting drastic cuts - except for Hercules. Last spring he and Daughter were invited to Ireland for a week. He thought it was to install a software system, but in actuality it was for the honchos to get a look at him, and after that trip he was offered a fantastic opportunity within the company. He recently spent a few weeks in Pa. in training, and is leaving today for five weeks in Ireland.

The two of them are pretty upset. The Nugget is about ready to get her belly off the floor and start crawling. He's afraid she'll change a lot before he gets back. Daughter bursts into tears at the drop of a "bon voyage". They're both so tense they argue about little things, like which GPS he should take. They've got a Skype-like computer arrangement, and a video camera, so it shouldn't be so very bad. After all, it's not like he's headed for Afghanistan or something.

I may be the one upset later. They don't know for sure where he'll be working after the building he's in now is closed. I just bought this freakin' house after Daughter assured me they wouldn't be moving for a very long time, if ever. I'll be very annoyed if they move away, leaving me here.

Sigh.
.

Monday, September 12, 2011

3356 Gotta let folks be themselves, I guess

Monday, September 12, 2011

Don Bender, letter in Mensa Bulletin: It is not statistically (or logically!) valid to examine facts,
create a hypothesis that fits those facts,
and then cite those same facts as proof that the hypothesis must be true.
(And yet, that’s what we do in court.)

------------------------------------------------------------------

"In 2002, following the passage of the federal No Child Left Behind Act, Arizona started to monitor state teachers to ensure that they used proper grammar and did not mispronounce words." (Story at http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2011/09/12/arizona-grammar-police-stand-down-under-threat-of-litigation/)

But the federal government told them they couldn't do that, since it discriminates against those with accents.

Duh?

I think it should be easy enough to discriminate between an accent, and sloppy grammar and mispronunciation due to ignorance. Sheesh. Remember the PC arguments about Ebonics? Accepting Ebonics as "proper" led to a graduating class who couldn't get a job.

I really don't think it's too much to ask that teachers speak and write properly. In fact, I insist on it. They should set the example.

A few years ago I was reading the blog of a person who seemed to have no idea whatsoever what punctuation was for, who confused homonyms, and used capitalization randomly. Sentences were poorly constructed, and often confusing. I kept reading, though, because the blogger's ideas were good, once I waded through the slop.

I was shocked to discover that this blogger was not only a teacher in a public school, but was an English teacher!

I cringed. That person had no business in an English class, except maybe as a student. I can't imagine what that teacher's students could possibly learn from their teacher.

What do you think? Should teachers be required to be articulate?
.

3355 Mystery solved

Monday, September 12, 2011

Kneeling is not a position of strength, and begging is not an effective tactic.
-- Clarence Thomas --

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A while ago I mentioned a fog horn sound that goes off at random times during the day. I wondered if it had maybe something to do with a drawbridge, or a large boat arriving - this area is full of boatyards and marinas.

I found out that it's the EMS signal. The number of whoops tells the EMTs which ambulance company should report to where.

I hope they also use beepers, because inside the house it's inaudible.

Now I have to find out what the constant mechanical tree frog sound is. That one I can hear in the front half of the house, and it drives me crazy.

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Has anyone else tried the new Blogger interface? I HATE it. It's another case of trying to give everything to everyone, all possible bells and whistles, with the result that for simple usage, it's unusable. To write a simple post entry, you have to wade through layers of crap the average blogger will never use. There's so much crammed on a screen you have to scroll and scroll and scroll.

Opinions?
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Sunday, September 11, 2011

3354 Exacerbated exasperation

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Ad for Norwegian Cruise Line:
Most of the Earth is covered by water. And most of the water is covered by Norwegians.

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I haven't had the TV or radio on all day, so I assume NYC is still standing. I don't see any smoke columns in the Northeast.

----------------------------

People whose livelihood depends on language don't seem to know the difference any more between "exacerbate" and "exasperate". More and more I am hearing the latter when they mean the former. Very tiresome.

----------------------------

I am also frustrated by polls that slant the questions. I saw one yesterday that's a prime example. The question was, "Do you agree with President Barack Obama’s plan to slash Social Security to 3.1 percent for workers? (Yes) (No)" Naturally, the response was overwhelmingly "No", and I suspect this will be reported as "The public overwhelmingly rejects...blah blah".

The pollsters know that the public are idiots, have zero reading comprehension skills, and will vote on the emotional impact of "slash Social Security to 3.1% for workers."

If the question had been "blah blah ... slash the Social Security tax paid by workers, thereby increasing their annual take home pay by an average of $1500 per year", which is the actual question, then I strongly suspect that the answer would have been different. Of course, that's slanting it the other way.

Idiots.

This is why I NEVER believe the results of polls.Link
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I am currently reading Sisters, by Kathleen Thompson Norris, published sometime in the late '20s. It was one of the free book offers for the Kindle, and I selected it because it was one of the few I'd never heard of. (Reviews at http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6562314-sisters.)

You can read the reviews, folks love it or hate it. I'm not finished yet, so I have no opinion other than that I'm tired of the lavish descriptions of the beauty of Cherry, the youngest character. Ok, we get it! Also of the way absolutely everything comfortable is lovingly described as "shabby".

What no other reviewer has mentioned but which shocked me is the casual racism. Discussing the prospect of an excellent job in Mexico, the characters decide it's not a place Cherry would want to follow her husband, since no country where the native inhabitants are black, brown, or yellow is worth visiting, because if there were anything to recommend it, the inhabitants would be white.

Also, Chinese household help abounds, and their employers speak to them in babytalk pidgin.

All very casual and accepted.

That was then. This is now. But I'm still surprised that no other reviewer noted it as one of the elements that dates the book. It's the casualness that dates it. Mark Twain, for example, was not casual.

-----------------------------

I dislike people who chew with their mouths open. I despise those do it with crunchy things in movie theaters! I want to leap over seats and throttle them!

Close your damn mouth!
.

Thursday, September 08, 2011

3353 Flood?

Thursday, September 8, 2011

“Some people make your life better by walking into it,
other people will make your life better by walking out of it.”

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I'm north, at the old house. I plan to head back south this evening, with a stop in Goshen, NY, in Orange County, only slightly out of the way, to attend a Mensa dinner. I haven't seen those people in six months. I keep trying to go to dinners and events, but the weather, health, and schedules haven't cooperated.

So I really thought I'd make it this evening.

But TV news reports flash flooding all over Ulster and Orange counties (west of the Throughway) , and the NYS Throughway southbound is CLOSED between exits 18 and 17. I'd be getting on at exit 19 and off at 16 to go to the dinner. The detour would be through local roads in Ulster county, which is not good, since there is a good chance of flooding, and a guarantee of being full of Throughway traffic.

I put out a call for information and route advice from locals on the Mensa Yahoo group, but have not had a response yet. I'm not sure what to do.

--------------------------------

11:00 am - Just got a response to my group note for advice, from Roman (long-time readers, remember Roman?). He says the Throughway is now open except for the shoulders, and that 9W south to 84 is open and clear if I still want to detour, and that I can call 511 to get road condition info.

That's one good thing you can say about Roman. He always has good info about everything.

4:00 pm - Went to visit Piper and ran into The Angel, my CPA. He says I don't really want to go to Goshen. Even if the roads are open and the bridges are up, Goshen itself is flooded and they have no power, so the restaurant probably won't be open.

11:30 pm - I went anyway. I'd be headed south, which is where I want to eventually end up anyway, so I may as well try. All roads were open, there was no sign of flooding anywhere along the way, and Goshen was fine. I got to see several of the people I'd been missing, and it was a good evening.

You know, I think there's simply a lot of exaggeration in the reports of conditions. Kind of like when it's windy, and a roof blows off a building, and everybody yells "Tornado!", when it's really just strong wind. It's tiresome.
.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

3352 Statistics: "True" propositions, specious conclusions

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

“Homosexuality is found in 450+ species. Homophobia is found in only one. Which one seems unnatural now?”

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Disturbing facts about bread:
  1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
  2. Fully half of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
  3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
  4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.
  5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously cumulative:
    • 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread.
    • 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
    • 96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread.
    • 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident.
    • 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently.
  6. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all people born before 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate.
  7. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day.
  8. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
  9. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and being fed only water begged for bread after as little as two days.
  10. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
  11. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
  12. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
  13. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit. That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
  14. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling!

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:
  • No sale of bread to minors.
  • A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete with celebrity TV spots, and bumper stickers.
  • A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
  • No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
  • The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
.

Monday, September 05, 2011

3351 Mites

Monday, September 5, 2011

"Friendship is being there when someone's feeling low and not being afraid to kick them."
-- Randy K. Milholland --

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I had three beautiful huge rose-pink impatiens pots on the porch. They were attacked and devastated by spider mites.

When it came time to put the porch plants in the garage to protect them from Irene, I dumped those pots down the bank in the back, so they wouldn't infect the other plants.

I wondered where they got the mites. Those things are tiny. They don't exactly walk around looking for good plants. Usually they arrive on a new plant, infected in the crowded environment of a nursery and will spread to any plant within a few inches of the infected plant. The impatiens were clean all summer. Where did the sudden infestation of spider mites come from?

I have replaced the impatiens with mums, better for the fall anyway. Today I was sitting on the porch, and saw a bee land on a geranium blossom, and a light bulb went off.

I'll bet the mites hitchhiked in on bees!

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I mowed the lawn today, and when I mowed past the bank, I saw a splash of rose-pink a few feet down the slope.

The impatiens.

They actually look healthier now than they did on the porch.

I wished them happiness.
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