5050 Sick, both me and laptop

Saturday, January 30, 2016

So, let's see, I've got almost a week to cover. 

I don't remember much about Monday.  See?  That's why I have to update frequently here, or I just lose days.  The week before, my back had been bothering me a lot.  A few days I had worn the back brace, but by Saturday I was just carrying it up and down stairs with me in case I needed it.  By Monday there were just a few ouches when I moved wrong, and that's about all I remember about Monday, --- except that Monday evening, late, I started coughing.  A dry cough.  Every few seconds. When I went to bed I was afraid the cough would keep me awake, so I put Vicks Vapo-Rub on the soles of my feet under socks, which is supposed to stop coughs, and has always worked before, but didn't help this time.  All it did was keep Jasper off the bed.

Tuesday, Daughter, Nugget, and I went to a nearby Peruvian restaurant, Inkanto, on route 35 in Hazlet, for an early dinner.  It was very good, I recommend the place.  I was still coughing.  I didn't feel sick.  I described it to Daughter as feeling like there was a popcorn husk stuck far back on the back of my tongue.  That tiny spot of irritation that just won't go away.

Tuesday night, my soft palate got that hot burny feeling.  Uh oh.

Wednesday I woke up to body aches all over, hot dry throat, stuffed up nose, pounding headache from side to side above my eyebrows, and sneeze sneeze sneezes, in between the coughing.  A lot of phlegm, but it was nicely clear.  From coughing so much, my belly and ribs hurt when I coughed.  Maybe a slight fever, not enough to worry about.  Still, the worst part was the feeling of impending doom.  I can't emphasize that too much.  It was obviously just an ordinary cold virus, a head cold, but I felt like I was going to die.  It wasn't in my chest, but I was so afraid I was headed for pneumonia.  Doom!  Doom!  Morbid doom!  Tomorrow I will be dead!

I filled the bathtub with the hottest water I could stand, climbed in, and read a book.  Did that in the late morning, and again in late afternoon.  I figure if the purpose of fever is to kill invaders, I'd help it along.  I did feel better for a short time after each soak.  But still, doom!

Bed early.  Slept well, because the sneezing and coughing seemed to have lessened. 

Woke Thursday feeling a lot better.  Still headaches, still stuffy, but my body felt a bit better, and the hot spots in my throat had cooled down.  Spent the day wandering the internet and reading stuff.

Friday, just yesterday, I felt absolutely wonderful!  I was going to live!  My back was not only all better, but I'd never before been so pain-free all over, an unusual state for me.  I haven't felt this well in ages!  No stabs, no aches, no burning spots in my thighs.  My legs were even listening and obeying when I spoke to them.  My nose was running, lots, that thin stuff that dribbles down your upper lip and drips on everything before you can get a tissue up, but hey, I'll take that. 

Today, I woke to a very dry burning nose and throat.  Sigh.  I guess this is the second phase.  Friday was just a tease.  Lots of phlegm in my throat, thick, nasty pale yellow-green-gray greasy grimy gopher guts.  I've spent the day snorking and choking to get it up, down, and out.  Dry coughing a lot again.

------------------------------------------

As if that wasn't enough...

I rarely shut down the laptop.  Every night I disconnect from the wifi and then just close the lid.  In the morning, I reconnect, it asks me for my password, and then torques back up to where I left off the night before.

This morning, I opened the lid, and nothing happened.  Light blue screen. 

I waited.

Nothing.

I waited some more.

Nothing.

I closed the lid, waited a few seconds, and opened it again.  This time I got the hardware Toshiba logo, and the spinning circle. 

I waited.

Nothing more.

I made breakfast.  Ate breakfast.  Made instant coffee.  Drank coffee.

Still nothing more.  Spinning circle on Toshiba screen.

I pressed the off button, the laptop turned off, I waited a few seconds, then pressed it again, and it started.  Got the Toshiba screen, then my usual sign-in screen asking for the password, gave it my password, then, slowly, gradually, a windows screen came up --- but it isn't mine.

It's acting and looking like it has never met me before.  Half the icons on the left side are missing, and there's no rhyme or reason to what's left.  My widgets on the right are missing.  There was an icon for Firefox, so I started that up, but Firefox acted like it had never heard of me and wanted me to set up a new account.  When Firefox started, all my bookmarks are missing.  All my settings are missing.  Same with Goggle. 

I was able to get to my Yahoo and Gmail email accounts, so I'm not dead in the water.  There's that, anyway.

I don't know a lot about how PCs work, but if this were big iron, I'd say my directory has been corrupted.  I'm beginning to suspect that after I closed up last night, Windows decided to update itself, and got interrupted partway through.

Back to the friendly service guys on Monday, I guess.  I still have my little notebook, or note pad, or whatever that thing is, but it's annoying to type much on, so if I disappear for a while, it's the laptop that's in the hospital, probably not me.
.

3980 Sniffle update 2

Friday, September 26, 2014

Along about Wednesday, I was pretty much over everything, except that as usual my sinuses are still complaining.  A LOT of thick phlegm coming down from the sinuses, down to sit on top of the soft palate, and choke me.  I'm snorking and glurking to get it down and out, and if and when it escapes and goes on down the back of my throat and hits the epiglottis, I cough.  And choke some more.

But I don't think there's any active infection any more.

I've learned by experience that when it's just the sinuses, I can't use a decongestant.  If the sinuses get too dry before they've finished complaining, I'm inviting a bacterial infection.  So I just have to wait until they calm down on their own.  This is all a result of a massive sinus infection in the early '80s, that scarred stuff up in there so they don't drain right.  Hot drinks can help, but not much else.  A neti pot would make things worse, since I don't drain right.

I finally caught up with Daughter on Tuesday (they had been out almost every day since the Friday before), and she said they'd all been sick all weekend.  (Not as sick as I had been, I guess, because it didn't seem to have slowed them down any.  No, I don't know where they went or what they'd been doing - I'm not allowed to ask.)

I cracked Hercules up by mentioning that on Sunday I was sneezing so hard I gave up on underpants.
.

3979 Sniffle Update

Monday, September 22, 2014

Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.

----------------------------------------------------

Friday was hot soft palate.
Saturday was stuffy nose.
Sunday the nose was a gusher with tremendous sneezes.
Today nose is dry, a little bit of burning in the back of the throat.  Some sneezing and a few coughs.

I'm not sure how to tell when or if it goes into my chest.  If it doesn't I'll be fine.  If it does I could be in trouble.
.

3977 The good, the bad, and the sniffles.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Silence is golden, unless you have a puppy. Then silence is suspicious. Very, very suspicious.

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Two visits to the BMW dealership last week.  It should be fixed now.  It was the same code as last time, so they charged nothing to fix it.  They gave me a 300-series loaner while they reprogrammed the computer and tested it.  The300 ride is very smooth, amazing, but I still prefer my little sportster.  I like to feel the road and hear the motor.  It feels safer.

On Thursday, Daughter said there's some kind of virus going around, starts out like a head cold, and can go into pneumonia.  She wanted me to be sure to tell her if I got sick so she could "doctor me".  I guess she's worried that I might do like right after Sandy, when I got sicker and sicker and didn't say anything until I was on the verge of death (according to the ER doctor).

Friday my soft palate got hot.

Saturday my nose stuffed up.

Today it's not stuffed, it's running like mad.  I took a nasal decongestant, but it doesn't seem to have done anything.  I'm sneezing hard, a lot.  I don't seem to have a fever - but I'm not positive because all my digital thermometers are weirded out.  They are starting to lie.  I really really prefer the old mercury column (or alcohol) stick thermometers, those things stay accurate forever, but they're next to impossible to find any more.  Anyway, I rarely run a fever anyway, no matter what's going on.

Of course, I haven't seen Daughter since Thursday.  She's always out.  And I'm not going to call her for just sniffles.
.

3774 Wrenches and plans and all that

Friday, October 11, 2013

"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it." 

--G. K. Chesterton--

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My back was out or in some stage of delicate for a month.  By the end of last week it felt pretty good, so I figured I'd make it up to the country house this week.

Not to be.

Last Friday, the Nugget was miserable and snobbery.  By Sunday evening I was sneezing, and by Monday I was miserable and snobbery.  'Long about Tuesday evening the miseries started to descend into my chest.  Last night, Thursday, at about 9 pm, a good six hours since I'd taken some (every four hours) Robitussin, I felt really good and thought "Wow, it's over!".  By 11 pm I was crawling to the cabinet for more Robitussin.

Sigh.

Will I ever again see that house?

Nugget is still suffering.  Although her nose is now dry, her voice sounds like a cartoon witch, so I guess the miseries are in her throat and chest, too.  She still laughs and plays, but at any moment the least tiny thing will send her sobbing into her mommy's lap.  I told Daughter if she aches all over even 1/3 as bad as I do, take pity on her.

At least I have Robitussin.
.

3702 How short am I?

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

In a democracy, people get the government they deserve.

-- Adlai Stevenson --

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The Sunday of the Oscars, "Sunday Morning" did a segment on Linda Hunt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linda_Hunt).  They had a lot of clips from her movies and TV shows, and wow, she's short!  She's really short!

Then they gave her stats.  She and I are five months apart in age, and we are exactly the same height!

Boing.

I don't understand.

I know I'm short, but I guess I never realized how short I am.  I'm taller than my mother and grandmother were, so I never felt short, if you know what I mean.  I've always come up to mid-chest on the guys I've dated and worked with, and that felt right (except Roman.  I came to just under his chin). I've seen myself in photos in groups, and I've always been the shortest in the photos.  I suspect that if I had seen stills of Ms. Hunt with her costars, she wouldn't have seemed so very short.  But seeing her move, walk with, look up at and gesture to others, she looked ... SHORT!  (If you don't know her, watch "NCIS: Los Angeles".)

I've never seen me in a video with other people.  Always alone, or with other people but not moving.

Even more, she has almost no neck.  I have a relatively long neck.  That means my shoulders are lower than hers.  So technically, I would give a shorter impression because her body mass is higher.

Wow!

I must be tiny.  (Well, height-wise, anyway.  Anyone in a 38DD bra with matching rear counterweight can't be considered tiny.)

-------------------------------

Everybody has a cold.  The same cold.  All over the northeast coast and in some spots on the west coast and between.  Everyone describes it pretty much the same, as starting with sniffles, then sinuses and throat, then to chest.  Some of us have had it since before Christmas - it goes away then comes back.

One explanation is that during Hurricane Sandy, sea birds got relocated.  Gull and tern poop is full of viruses and germs, and they poop on the wing.  We have antibodies against our own local birds' offerings, but the hurricane redistributed the shore's avian populations, and we have no resistance to the new ones.  The outbreaks in the rest of the country may have been carried by visitors from the east coast.

There's a more ominous theory.  Maybe someone's running a biological experiment/attack on us, tracking distribution patterns.
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3698 White guys can't shake.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

The end move in politics is to pick up a gun.

-- Bucky Fuller --

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Latest video virus, Harlem Shake.  It's disgusting.  Buncha guys bouncing and kicking and throwing their arms around.  That's NOT the Harlem Shake!  It's like people who think belly dancing is just wiggling around.  I want to slap them.  If that's what you want to do, do it, but don't call it something it's not!

THIS is the real Harlem Shake:

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrTqyGp2beU]
Note the shoulders.  That's an integral part of the dance, and that takes practice.

--------------------------------

In an email from the township:  "Alternate side parking: If snow falls on an even day, parking is permitted on the odd-numbered side of the street. If snow falls on an odd day, parking is permitted on the even-numbered side of the street."

This has left me confused.  Badly worded, difficult to remember.  Wouldn't "even=even odd=odd" make more sense if you want people to remember?  Also, what happens if it starts snowing at 5 PM and snows continuously until 5 AM?  Which side should you park on to avoid being towed?  No matter where you're parked when you go to bed, it's going to be the wrong side for half the time.

---------------------------------

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I have been sick continuously since the hurricane, since late October.  Head cold, chest cold, pneumonia, bronchitis.  I finished the bronchitis antibiotic about five days ago, and three days ago I seem to have started a sinus infection.  I've been sick for more than four months.  I feel stronger than I did after I got out of the hospital, but I still don't want to do much.  (And yes, I'm quitting smoking, since late December.  That adds stress and makes me nasty mean.) 

NJ hates me.  NJ is trying to kill me.  NYC pollution blowing across the bay is destroying my immune system.
.

3696 Crap.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Absence makes the heart grow fungus.

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I have a very sore throat.  I called the doctor (strep?), and they called in an antibiotic prescription (which involved three screw-ups and six phone calls, and took six hours).  I have an appointment with the doctor on Monday.

I wanted to get ahead of my throat because we're expecting a major storm starting tomorrow morning.  Rain, snow, torrential rain, ice, sleet, plunging temperature and more snow, possible loss of power, possibly up to a foot or more of snow tomorrow overnight after it gets colder.  (I love that "up to xxx or more".  Like, "up to" no longer has any meaning, I guess.)

What's upsetting me the most is that yesterday Daughter and the Nugget drove to the DC area to visit a friend, and plan to drive back tomorrow.  I suggested to Daughter that she might want to delay her return a day or two, and she refused to even consider it.  "If it's bad I'll just drive slower."

Yeah.  A normally five hour drive under the best of conditions, on a Friday, with a 21-month-old in the back seat.

I can't seem to get through to her that you can have loads of confidence in yourself, but can you have confidence in EVERYONE else on the road with you? All of them?

She will be furious with me if I call her tomorrow morning and offer to pay (reimburse her) for a hotel room, but I think I'll risk it.

---------------------------------

When the sky is cloudy at night here, it's not black or gray, like at the country house.  It's pink.  Light pink.  Faded flamingo pink.  On all sides.  I find that disturbing.  Ominous. 

I don't like it at all.
.

3690 The Collapse

Thursday, January 17, 2013

“Elitist” is redneck code for “educated”.

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So, I was let out of the hospital two weeks ago yesterday, and I think I've been 100% for at least the past ten days.  Full of energy, but I'm being good and not trying to do too much, as they'd warned me not to try.  It's only now that I realize how weak I had been for quite literally months.  My strength had been ebbing since the hurricane in early November, and the subsequent 11 days with no heat.

The Nugget had started nursery school in like September(?), and as expected she's had one cold with and without ear infections after another.  She and I traded back and forth.  She got better between bouts - I didn't.  I went a little more downhill with every cycle.

By late November I was having difficulty getting up if I had been sitting on the floor.  By mid December I had difficulty getting out of the tub after a bath.  By late December I was having difficulty going up stairs, even if it was just one step.  I had no strength in my legs.

Whatever was going on seemed to affect my thinking, too.  The weakness having come on so gradually couldn't have been all of it.  I noticed, but I just chalked it up to ... age?  I don't know.  Mostly it was that I had lost the capacity to care.  Is that depression?

By the time of my Thursday, 12/27, post, when I said I'd been sick for so long, I hadn't slept in like three nights, because of the coughing.   That night I coughed so hard I did something to a rib in my back.  It hurt so very badly when I coughed.  Friday morning I went over to Daughter's house hoping for massage or something, and she insisted on taking me to the ER.

Some weird stuff happened there.  I kind of tuned out and let go, so I don't know a lot of what went on that day.  The ER was very busy.  I was on a stretcher in the hall from late morning until sometime in the evening because they didn't have a room or something, but I didn't lack for attention from nurses, doctors, x-ray technicians, vampires. 

At one point someone left a file folder on my stretcher.  MY name was on the outside.  Daughter opened it, and was reading a form in it, when she said, "This isn't your name."  She flashed a page at me.  All I saw was "DIABETIC" in large letters across the middle of the page.  Daughter ran off and gave the folder to a nurse, and there was some fuss, and then I lost interest.  But somebody had screwed up badly.

For the next three days, that mistake haunted me.

Next post....

---------------------------------

One of the reasons I haven't updated before this is because after several weeks of good behavior, my laptop is choking again.  I started this post at 7:25.  It is now 8:45.  I've been getting hanging scripts which kill Firefox.  I've had to restart twice.  I just plain haven't had the patience to fuss with it.  I assume it's the "updates out of phase" thing again.
.

3676 Stuff and things

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

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I'm sick.  I felt rocky Sunday, nothing specific, just that "uh oh" feeling in my throat.  Monday afternoon I got the hot dry spots in my throat.  Then the cough started, a short dry bark, almost constant.  The thermometer said I didn't have a fever, but I couldn't get warm, either.  Monday night I got almost no sleep because of the coughing.  Instead, I had strange mental visions of waves washing over rocks.  Tuesday, yesterday, the fever and headache and body aches started.  Every bone, muscle, and joint aches.  Even my little finger aches.  Still no congestion, but coughing hard.  My stomach hurts from the coughing.  Aspirin does help the headache, but leaves me lightheaded.

Obviously it's a virus.  I've been gargling with Listerine to prevent a secondary bacterial infection in my torn-up throat.  If I can avoid that, this should go away soonish....

It's messing with my head.  Yesterday I drove to the garage where Fred the van has been for the past 2.5 months to pay and pick up the keys (long story short - the manufacturer kept sending the wrong part, mainly because of confusion over the fact that Fred had been modified for wheelchair use, so some of his parts are not the standard issue).  I've been there many times, but yesterday I kept getting lost.  I had difficulty figuring out where I was in relation to the shop, and at least twice I couldn't figure out where I was AT ALL!  And when I did figure out where I was, I had no idea how I ended up there.  Streets I was familiar with were completely unfamiliar.  Also, on three occasions I had to pull out into traffic, and I couldn't judge the speed or distance of oncoming cars.  That was scary.

I think maybe I shouldn't drive until at least the headache/lightheadedness  goes away.  Daughter is going to pick up some cough medicine for me this afternoon on her way to fetch Nugget from nursery school.

--------------------------------

There are a bunch of sayings about taking the road less traveled, the path least trodden.  From the height of my great age and experience, I can tell you that's bullpoopy (except when it comes to inventions).  You should take the well-marked well-used trail.  Can't tell you how many times I've come to a (literal) Y in the trail, and I took the wild-looking one, only to be asked later, "Did you see the ....?" - some wonderful view, or falls, or whatever.  And of course I didn't. 

There's usually a reason one of two paths is better-traveled than the other.

---------------------------------

Definition of cognitive disconnect, not necessarily irony.

---------------------------------

Observation: Older computer games couldn't be won.  They just got harder and faster until you died.  Just like real life.

---------------------------------

Not to get into a discussion on gun control, but whatever one's position I think we can all agree that unstable, scary people shouldn't have guns.   But how do we identify those people?

I realize this won't work in real life! but it's worth thinking about.  Suppose before someone could buy a gun, 20 people who know him (not 20 he chooses, 20 randomly selected from friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc.) are asked, "Do you find the thought of him with a gun frightening?"  If some proportion say yes, say maybe 1/3, then he doesn't get a gun.

I'm comfortable with that.  People who know him, know him best (as long as he isn't a psychopath - those folks can be charming).

--------------------------------

I have "exploding head syndrome".  It's real.  

The Wikipedia article says it's more common over 50, but I've had it most of my life.  The article seems to imply that it happens most often when you're falling asleep. It happens to me randomly maybe once every year or two or so, and it's never when I'm falling asleep.  It's usually when I'm up and at work or home, anywhere, doing anything.  People have brushed it off as a cherry bomb outside, or a backfire, or a hunter in the woods - but there's a BIG difference in sound and feeling between sounds from outside your head and sounds inside your head.  It's very obvious that it was inside my head.  Absolutely 100%.  I can actually feel the bang, but there are no words to describe that feeling.  It's sort of like a pop of invisible lightning in my head.

When it happens, I don't get the fear that Wikipedia describes.  I just pause for a moment and run a mental test pattern in my mind to make sure it wasn't a stroke, and that's it.

You know what really gets me?  Sometimes I'd be mid-sentence and suddenly stop, and the person I was talking with will see me staring off into space for a few seconds (running the mental checklist for stroke), ask why, I'll tell them I heard a loud bang inside my head, and

they proceed to tell me it wasn't in my head, that it must have been outside, even though 

they themselves heard nothing!

3650 Panic

Friday, October 26, 2012

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,

but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

-- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady) --

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A lot of freakin' out going on.  Some kind of super storm supposed to hit up the east coast.  The local township is sending out email alerts that make it sound like there will be no food, water, or power available for weeks.  The water-heavy sky is going to fall and flatten us like a pancake and then float it all out into the ocean.

The town of Rhinebeck, NY, near my country house, is also drumming up a panic with email broadsides.  They seem to think that the world is going to blow away, leaving everything flat as a pancake, not a blade of grass standing.

Ok, who's the spoilsport who sued a municipality for not warning people sufficiently about weather, so now they're afraid NOT to scare the pants off people?

This is ridiculous.  Tell us something is coming.  Give us the best prediction as to rainfall, windspeeds, etc.  It really isn't necessary to scream at us.  I'm tired of being treated like an infant.

FLASH:  The NYC mayor is on TV right now talking about precautions and plans being put into place for the storm, and how people can get information and assistance if needed.  He's being matter-of-fact and serious without being hysterical.

You know, his calmness has got me thinking about it, whereas the local and upstate hysteria just had me rolling my eyes and passing it off.

--------------------------------

Speaking of infants, the Nugget is very sick.  She has a cold, it's going into her chest, frighteningly high fever, and she has two infected ears.  Remember I said she's very strong?  Well, it's next to impossible to get medicine into her.  She fights like a tiger.  She clings to Daughter, won't allow any space between them.  Daughter has Hercules and me to help her out with a sick baby.  She asked today how on earth I managed alone.

Well, I didn't tell her, I'll let her think that's how it always is, but the biggest difference is that Daughter would take the medicine if I asked her to.  She was very compliant.  Nugget will not allow anything she doesn't want, that's that, and there's no reasoning with her. That's different, but not better or worse, and I don't want Daughter to wish it otherwise.

--------------------------------

John Scalzi has written a letter from "a rapist" to conservative politicians, thanking them for making his hobby so much more satisfying.  It's sadly funny and it's infuriating.  Please go read it, at http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/10/25/a-fan-letter-to-certain-conservative-politicians/.  You won't be sorry you took the minutes to read it.  An excerpt:

Ah, I see by your surprised face that you at the very least claim to have no idea what I’m talking about. Well, here’s the thing. Every time you say “I oppose a woman’s right to abortion, even in cases of rape,” what you’re also saying is “I believe that a man who rapes a woman has more of a right to control a woman’s body and life than that woman does.”

3642 Schnork

Monday, October 15, 2012

Identifying a problem is more important than solving it.

---------------------------------------------

Sick.

I was fine yesterday late afternoon.  I went across the street to visit the Nugget for a few minutes.  Hercules, her father, was sniffing and snuffling and complaining of a slight fever.

I left them and went to the grocery store, and my nose started running in the bread aisle.  Yeah, that suddenly.  Naturally, I had no tissues.  I was licking it off my upper lip and hoping nobody'd notice. 

Also naturally, I walked right past the colds aisle and didn't buy any decongestants.  I've got nothing in the house, mostly because Daughter goes through my kitchen pantry and medicine chest when I'm not looking and throws out anything past the expiration date, and I'm not asking her if she has anything I can take because she uses herbal remedies and that stuff, I forget what it's called, where there might be one molecule of active ingredient in the whole bottle.  You know, that stuff.

She doesn't like chemicals.

Last night I was working logic puzzles in bed and dripping all over the pages.

Today I am miserable.  I can breathe through my nose, but I don't because that sets off sneezes that scare Jasper and aggravate this pounding headache I have.  It seems to be all sinus and nose at this point.  Temp 99.5 (normal for me is a bit over 97).

I've got to get up off my tail and go get something.  But I guess that's the other symptom.  I don't have enough energy to get dressed, let alone go out.
.

3567 Something's wrong

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Being good at taking tests won't get you very far in life.

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(Snork.  There are a lot of Mensans who need to read the green quote above.  More than a few seem to think that high scores alone should somehow get them acclaim - even though they have accomplished little else in their lives.  In fact, too many are a burden.)

I'm feeling a little like April 2 of 2011, when I ended up in a White Plains hospital for four days, with a nasty kidney. 

I've still got the stone in the left kidney.  It can't be zapped because of my fragile capillaries.  But a plethora of tests over the past year has said it isn't moving and hasn't grown.  That doesn't mean I can't throw another stone, though, or that the right kidney is immune.

I've got that "something's off" feeling.
[But that could be the heat and oppressive humidity.]

I've got a pain in my lower back, in pretty much the same place as in April 2011.
[But I often have pain in my lower back, that's normal.  And it does seem to be sensitive to posture, which in theory the kidney wouldn't be.]

I keep feeling like I have to piddle and poop, just like in April 2011.
[But I ate a quinoa mix late Thursday that's given me all kinds of problems ever since.  Probably the dried onions in it.  It's been pretty obvious that my body wants to get rid of every trace of it.  The flatulence has been incredible, like an enormous blast every 15 minutes yesterday.]

I don't have any blatant nausea or fever, but my stomach does feel off.  For one thing, it's hanging out and I can't hold it in.  I don't want anything around my waist - not even panty elastic.  It feels like there's a rock inside, just above the navel.  And I'm not interested in food.  I feel like I've got a lump in my throat and a tiny touch of acid reflux.
[Well, ice cream sounds good.  Maybe it IS the heat and humidity, and the remaining effects of the quinoa.]

I feel blah, and I'm hoping it has nothing to do with the kidney. I'm hoping it all goes away pretty soon.
.

3413 Swimming to Australia

Monday, December 5, 2011

It's impossible to learn what you think you already know.

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I think I was depressed for the past month or two. It happens occasionally. I never recognize it until it's passing. Not a clinical depression, if you know what I mean - a situational depression. I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Even the grocery store. Didn't want to get dressed. When I ran out of stuff I'd stand at the pantry and wonder what I could eat instead. I haven't yet stowed away any of the latest load of clothing and trinkets I'd brought back from the old house.

I finally recognized it a day or two ago, when I noticed I'd been living almost exclusively in the internet. Reading long articles that don't really matter. Looking stuff up that has no meaning. Following Wikipedia links into the hinterlands. It really hit home when I realized my internet shopping was out of control. I do that when I'm unhappy - I buy myself gifts. They have to arrive in the mail, like a surprise, to be a gift.

The slide all started the first week in October, when Hercules was in Ireland, and Daughter's back went out, and I had to rush back from the old house to care for her. I took over the Nugget for a few days, and then when Daughter was able to lift Nugget again, my back went out from lifting Nugget, and being older, mine took longer to get happy again.

Then Daughter got that cold that was going around, the one with the sore throat and copious nasal and sinus congestion, and general raggedness. Nugget was sick, too. So for several days I had Nugget during the day so Daughter could nap, because Nugget was worse at night, so Daughter had been sleeping on the floor in Nugget's room and up and down with her all night.

Nugget and Daughter got better, but then I came down with the snots. It's bad only maybe two days, but my sinuses are scarred from an epic infection in the early '80s, and the sinus reaction goes on and on for weeks after a cold. No infection, just irritation that produces glop that requires horrendous snorts to clear when it thickens and catches on the soft palate, and it constantly sloughs down the back of my throat and makes me cough. And nobody can cough like I can. My coughs wrack my body. Every cough produces a mouthful of glop.

Naturally, my back went out from the coughing.

The Man has been working out of state, but would be in NJ during that time that Daughter was sick. He wanted to get together. When I mentioned the colds, he decided not, saying he catches everything that comes down the pike - which was just as well because the day he would have arrived, I was starting the sore throat and sniffling.

So, right now my back is still delicate. I can finally sit comfortably. No pain, but I feel that warning twinge every time I move. The coughing and snorting has lessened. And now I recognize how depressed I'd been.

I haven't been to the old house since early October. Winter is coming. There's so very much to do. Until I can get it on the market and actually sell it, it's costing me $1,500/month or more in taxes, utilities, and insurance. I can't go when I'm sick or when my back is out. It's so upsetting it has been causing nightmares and insomnia from a churning mind.

And I haven't seen The Man in ages.

I look at photos of me from just 12 months ago and compare them to now, and I have aged a lot. My weight is also creeping up.

Yesterday I sort of woke up a little. I actually did a few things around here.

We'll see....
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3398 Getting better, I hope

Friday, November 18, 2011

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when
you realize you're wrong.

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My throat, which was hot and nasty yesterday, is all better today. But my sinuses and nose are bad. I've used up a box of Kleenex so far today, and poor Jasper is finally getting used to my huge loud sneezes.

Oddly enough, (TMI) my phlegm is clear. No color. No green, no yellow. I think that's a good sign, right?

I didn't bother getting dressed today because (more TMI) every time I sneezed I wet my pants. So I gave up on pants.
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3397 Around the web

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Perfect is the enemy of good.
-- Old French Proverb --

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I woke up this morning with a hot throat, and major sinus activity. I'm not surprised.

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If I ever participate in a protest, I want to find someone who's good with face painting, and do this:

I like their signs, too.


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This clip is incredible, the best I've seen. Go to full screen if you can.

Earth | Time Lapse View from Space, Fly Over | NASA, ISS from Michael König on Vimeo.
[http://vimeo.com/32001208 - full description and credits are there.]

Shooting locations in order of appearance:

1. Aurora Borealis Pass over the United States at Night
2. Aurora Borealis and eastern United States at Night
3. Aurora Australis from Madagascar to southwest of Australia
4. Aurora Australis south of Australia
5. Northwest coast of United States to Central South America at Night
6. Aurora Australis from the Southern to the Northern Pacific Ocean
7. Halfway around the World
8. Night Pass over Central Africa and the Middle East
9. Evening Pass over the Sahara Desert and the Middle East
10. Pass over Canada and Central United States at Night
11. Pass over Southern California to Hudson Bay
12. Islands in the Philippine Sea at Night
13. Pass over Eastern Asia to Philippine Sea and Guam
14. Views of the Mideast at Night
15. Night Pass over Mediterranean Sea
16. Aurora Borealis and the United States at Night
17. Aurora Australis over Indian Ocean
18. Eastern Europe to Southeastern Asia at Night

The thunderstorms and Aroras are amazing, but when I see how lit-up the cities are, all I can think is "Burning hydrocarbons, how long can we do that? Do we really need all that?"
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2976 Oh, about the sick....

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Naturally, the common people don't want war, but after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag people along whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country.
--Hermann Goering--

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I feel better today. Whatever it was seems to be over. Of course I still feel a little weak, but that's not surprising.

I went to the deli early this evening to buy some diet tea, soda, juice, anything to encourage me to drink a lot, and I mentioned the horrible sweating and the need to rehydrate to the gal at the counter (she was surprised because I rarely buy anything in bottles), and it turns out she'd had something similar about two weeks ago - severe weakness, fever, heavy sweating, but no other symptoms. Hers lasted about three days. Then Daughter said this evening that she had something similar a month ago, including the fainting. Hers lasted somewhere between one and three days (she's not sure because her back had gone out, and she was in bed with that). Mine was four days, but I'm a good 30 years older than either of those two and I'm not as resilient.

So, whatever it was seems to be going around, and probably is not systemic or metabolic in me, which was my greatest concern.

Daughter and I both had our backs go out shortly before the onset. That's interesting. Next trip to the deli I'll have to ask about the third case. Whether we'd been using a high SPF sunblock would be interesting, too. If poison is in your belly, you purge from either end. Maybe when poison is in your skin, you sweat copiously. Seems reasonable to me.
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2974 Scary Sick

Monday, May 31, 2010

Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
--P.J. O'Rourke--

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I am sick. Now it's feeling like an ordinary virus, but during Saturday night into Sunday morning, it was very scary. It's odd, but it seems like I have become more susceptible to viruses or whatever since I've been "eating right".

I've already mentioned being weak Saturday at the antiques fair. I went to bed fairly early Saturday night, and dreamed many annoying dreams, aware I was dreaming. At 4 AM I woke very thirsty, so I went to the kitchen for a drink of water. I'd no sooner swallowed the first tepid mouthful when I started sweating, and my legs started weakening. I've never sweat like that before. I headed straight for the bed. It's about 35 feet from the kitchen sink to my bed, and by the time I rounded the corner into the bedroom, the sweat was literally pouring off me in big drops. I remember that my legs were no longer working at all by then, I leaned against the side of the bed, and then nothing.

I came to on the floor. My head was pillowed on a laundry pile, and I was quite comfortable, so much so at first I thought I was in bed. I was still sweating sopping dripping sheets of water. I tried to get up, and passed out again.

I have no idea how much time passed, but when I woke again the sweating had stopped, and I felt, if not ok, at least functional.

Gotta give me credit. I went to the master bath where there are only the little disposable 1-oz cups, and tried sipping an ounce. The sweating immediately started again. It seems to start as soon as water hits my mouth.

I crawled back into bed, thinking about what it could be. Kidney failure? Diabetic coma? (Which? Would I need protein or sugar?) I thought about calling 911, and then either passed out or fell asleep. I'm not sure. I did definitely think about how long it would be before my body was found.

Sunday I sprouted a fever, 101.2 (normal for me is 97.8), and the body aches, both of which continue into today, so I'm pretty sure it's a virus. Today, Monday, I am finally able to think clearly (relatively), and I'm remembering that the last time I got downed by a virus, I had visited the Cunneen Hackett theater, and had to leave because the scent of mold in the old building was overwhelming. The virus hit two days later.

Surprise.

Thursday, I went to a movie at the old theater in Woodstock. Again, the scent of mold was strong, but I stayed, figuring I would leave if I started to cough. Two days later, pow.

I guess I can't handle mold.

Update, Monday 9:30 pm - 102.6, but I don't feel so very bad.
Update two - so much for feeling better. I dated this entry Saturday.

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Comment from "Joey", on an article about women not wanting to work with other women in law offices, in the WSJ law blog:

"Several years ago, I dated a woman who was assistant principal at a junior high school. I’ll always remember her description of the genders: ‘Managing boys is like fighting World War II. You see them coming, they fight, they tell you to f–k off, you lay down the law, and things are fine until the next battle.’

On the other hand: ‘Managing girls is like fighting Al Qaeda. You always know something is coming, but you’re never sure what until it hits. They’ll strike alliances with anyone and then break them when it’s convenient, they are ingenious at finding new ways to hurt their enemies, and when the battle *does* erupt, innocent people can get hurt.’

That always struck me as one of the best insights into human nature, and I think it still resonates in adult, professional settings."

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1757 Bleck

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Arthur Schopenhauer: "Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see."

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There's a commercial for an album of Christian songs, and the song they lead with is "Our god is an awesome god...". That construction is rather odd. It implies that there are several gods, and the one they worship is from the awesome subgroup. Weird.

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I'm sick. Slight fever, abdominal cramps, nausea, aching joints and bones. I felt so sick when I went to bed last night I gave the cats extra food, put the phone and a basin on the bed, and put some clothes in a bag, just in case I had to go to the hospital in my robe. As it happened, I just felt very sick, but nothing interesting happened. I felt a little better this morning, but as the day goes on I'm getting yuckier again.

I spent Monday afternoon with Daughter and had a quick after-work drink with my man. I hope I didn't give them anything.
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1251 Cilantro Again

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

I'm getting dozens of search hits on the cilantro post. Why? What's going on that so many people all over the world are suddenly searching for cilantro soap?

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I hadn't turned the TV on at all today. Instead, I had radios in the kitchen, bedroom, living room, and den all tuned to NPR. Very commendable, but the disadvantage is that I didn't notice time passing. I've got BBC news on the TV now, and I think I'll leave the television on. Gotta get some stuff done this evening.

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I had hoped to see The Man this evening, but he's in a far southern state on business. He's trying to tie up all loose ends before the Maryland Mensa gathering at the end of the month. He had warned me that his work schedule had been a problem in relationships in the past. Between his work and travel, and his social, sports, and other commitments, yeah, I see a potential problem. He lives too far away for impromptu visits in free moments.

I guess that will eventually be the test. Can I be patient? Will he arrange more time for me? We'll see. Maybe it will get to the point where I become important enough to schedule into his life. Maybe not. Too soon to tell. I don't know him well enough yet to know how driven he is.

He IS trying to ensure that the gathering weekend is without conflict or stress, so accept, Silk. Don't fuss.

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It's just as well that I have more time to kick this cold. There's nothing left but clear sinus drainage, but that's more than enough. It's not neat or pretty, and when it settles in the glottis/epiglottis/whatever, it sends me into paroxysms of coughing that pretty much flatten me. Throat, chest, and nose are fine.
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