#643 Dates

OK, so I met Fishkill for the first time this morning. He showed up at Barnes & Noble with a huge box of chocolates. I find him intelligent, very good-looking, and interesting. He seems to have had a colorful life, and he did ask some probing questions. I don't think he liked some of the answers. He could be difficult, but he could be worth it. He could also be dangerous. I love the smell of testosterone. He seems full of the stuff. The difficulty is that he may be looking for an as-long-as-it's-fun bed partner, and I'm looking for a life partner. I indicated that I'd like to see him again, and his answer was interesting. He said that right now he wanted to sleep with me, and he'd have to let that die down before he could think reasonably about it. So however it goes, at least he's honest and up-front, and if there's a difference in our expectations, he's aware of it and taking it into consideration.

Dinner this evening with Dreyfuss, second meeting. He's the one with the piercings I don't want to know about. Our backgrounds and lifestyles are so very different, I had sort of planned to cut him loose this evening. But I didn't. I couldn't. He's very nice, and good looking, a gentleman, and very easy to talk with. He's intelligent, understanding and accepting, and unfazed by my most outrageous statements. A very open mind. So, he asked me out again, and I said yes. This may be a mistake. I wish I could see the future.

And, that's how my day went.

I don't know why I'm not very excited about any of it. Maybe it's because these guys are strangers, the big unknown, and I really want something more comfortable. Someone I've known for a long time. Something more predictable.

The big difference between the young me and the now me is that the young me could see the good and the bad, wanted the good, and figured she could change, fix, or live with the bad. The now me knows that you have to accept the bad with the good, ain't nothin' gonna change, nohow. So my advice to me now is that if something bothers me now, don't bother going any further, because the bother just gets bigger.

I'm not very good at taking my own advice. This could get interesting.