Well, I met Dreyfuss this morning, and it was ok. There was no immediate connection - in fact for the first half hour he didn't look me in the eye, but then time speeded up and it got better. I was there an hour and a half. He seems nice enough. He doesn't have my last name or phone number yet. I'm to email him with my number, so I have a little time to think about it. I don't know where it might go. It didn't seem completely positive, but it wasn't negative, either. We'll see.
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This is my Personality Profile from one of the newer dating sites:
You are a DIRECTOR/negotiator
You are an innovator. You are an inventive, thorough, independent thinker with a deep interest in how the world works. You quickly grasp patterns and relationships. And when you focus on a particular work-related or social puzzle, you often come up with novel theories and ideas about it.
You have a strong need to achieve. You want to make an impact on the world. And with your aptitude for theoretical thinking, your investigative rigor, your logic and your determination, you are likely to win the honors your hard work deserves.
You are a complex person, outwardly assertive, logical and intellectual, yet likely to see the many sides of an issue, feel deep sympathy for others and enjoy the spiritual as well as the concrete.
You can be friendly, insightful and eager to please. These attributes, combined with your love of challenges and knowledge, make you an exciting, and at times, very sensitive companion.
Duh?
Well, it's wrong on winning the honors. I never win the honors. Not that I didn't deserve a few honors along the line, but it seems like I was always too early or too politically incorrect.
This one doesn't say anything about Leadership. Most profiles of me do, and as soon as I see "Leadership", I figure it's a lot of baloney. Leadership to me always brought a vision of someone leading the troops over a barricade, or whipping up enthusiasm in a team, or something. I can't, don't, and don't want to do anything like that. I was a team leader once at work, and hated it.
But I had a sort of epiphany today. Leadership doesn't necessarily involve pulling along followers! Leadership can also mean forging new paths. Innovating. Not following the herd. It's something a little more than simply not being a follower. It means having vision beyond the herd, and implementing that vision. (In fact, you can be a follower, and still be a leader. Power behind the throne kind of thing.) In that sense, I AM a Leader. I don't follow the group just because it's the safe thing to do. I frequently go my own way and do my own thing. Sometimes I can bring the herd along with me, but that frequently requires more social and political skill than I have. And more "desire to make an impact" than I have - so I guess the above profile is wrong there, too.
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I mentioned that at the Volunteer Fair, I had signed up for, among other things, CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates). They deal with neglected and abused children involved in the family courts. To quote from their pamphlet: "Today, CASA is the only organization that empowers everyday citizens as officers of the court. [Me - not technically true, volunteer mediators are also officers of the court, which carries a legal requirement to report certain offenses to the court, and which can be a social burden.] CASA is an information gatherer and an advocate for the best interests of the child. Volunteer advocates review records, research information and talk to all involved. They visit the child regularly ... " etc. Where the social workers may have 20-30 cases at a time, the CASA volunteer concentrates on one or two.
I thought I could be good at this. I know about abuse and neglect. I know about manipulation. I'm very good at research. I write good clear reports. I pay attention to detail. There's a lot of education and training involved, but I have the time. I figured it would be a good way to meet handsome single lawyers. Ok, scratch that one. Family court attorneys are haggard and overworked.
But, almost everyone I've asked about it has advised me against it. They tell me I have too much of a tendency to take in strays, and this will tear me apart. One friend asked if I could work at the SPCA shelter, and if the answer is no, then I shouldn't attempt this. I can't even GO to the shelter. If I wanted to adopt a beastie, they'd have to bring The One out to me a few blocks away. I am still haunted to tears by a little abandoned whippet I had to leave on a Florida beach 13 years ago.
On the other hand, I remember how my brother and I tried to get help many years ago, and how no one would listen to us. I want to make a difference. (Ok, so maybe that profile's "desire to make an impact" isn't too far off.)
If I can't do it myself, maybe one of you can. See http://www.nationalcasa.org/
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