Meeting and lunch with Piper yesterday. I like having lunch with him. He really is so nice, and so easy to talk with. He seems to have a unique insight into people, their feelings and motivations. He seems to understand what's going on in relationships so much better than anyone else I know, even my female friends. (I wish there was some chemistry - it would make things so much easier. Or harder. I don't know.)
He asked how things were going with Roman, and I told him. We talked quite a bit about it. He made two major points that I'll have to think about. One, that it takes most men a very long time to make relationship changes, especially from something sure to something unsure. If it's going to happen at all, it most certainly can't be rushed. And two, there's a total cutting off of contact on one side, and a continuation of the current situation on the other side, and there's a very wide range in between, and that somewhere in between is the probably best way to go. I just have to decide how far down the continuum I want to be. He said he can tell how I feel about him by the look in my eyes when I talk about him. That was one thing I didn't want to hear.
Returning to his office in the car, I said something about how all I knew for sure was that there was one thing on that continuum that I was going to have to give up, and I'd hate giving that up because it's so very goooooooood!
He said that was the one thing I could get elsewhere any time I wanted. I said that I don't do casual. He said something like that it isn't casual when it's with friendship and respect. He has told me a few times that his only female relationship now is platonic. I may have misunderstood, but I think that may have been an offer. (Sorry, but I still think that's casual. I don't do casual.)
When I walked into the house after lunch, at about 2:30. the telephone machine was taking a message - Roman's voice. I ran to pick up. He was calling from a parking lot outside a doctor's office. He said that his father had a problem and he'd had to take him to the doctor's, and here it was 2:30 already and he hadn't been to the hospital to see his mother yet, so he was pretty certain that he wouldn't make it back in time for the computer club meeting. We talked about the software that would be offered (a version of Adobe Photo Shop). He had done some research on it, and said that since he and I were both on Windows 98, and the program ran only on XP, we couldn't use it. He made no effort to discourage me from attending the meeting, seemed to assume that I would. This is significant.
I went to the meeting. If I ever want to meet more men in their 60s, this is the place! There were more than 100 of them there. The program had been heavily advertised, and there were many "new" attendees. One guy even chatted me up. Not bad looking, either. And apparently after the meeting some folks regularly go to the Friendly's up the road, so it would be easy to get ... friendlier. I may have to attend more of these meetings.
The speaker was interesting.
It would have been more interesting if Roman had made it, because there was a woman there who fitted the description of "her", the other woman, to a T. I was shocked. I wanted very much to introduce myself and find out if it really was her, but I couldn't think of how right then. I was absolutely stunned. I waited around in the parking lot to see if she and her driver headed for the Friendly's, since by then I had figured out a way to approach her without giving anything away, but they turned the other direction. Phooey. A lost opportunity.
I didn't catch a flicker of recognition from her, although she had to be aware I was staring at her. You'd think the hair might mean something to her. I mean, he has to have turned up occasionally with long pale blond hairs on his sweaters. (And damn! My hair looked good last night! It was silky smooth and actually sparkled.)
So today I am filled with questions.
First off, I truly believe Roman's reason for not making the meeting. I accept it as completely honest.
IF that WAS her, was he unaware she would be there? How could that be?
It would make sense that she might go, since she would be aware of Roman's fancy new digital SLR camera (which she is probably NOT aware was a gift to him from ME.)
If he was aware that she would be there, wouldn't he have tried to discourage me from going?
Is it possible that if the timing had worked out, we could have found ourselves all together in the same room?
Oops?
Wouldn't that have been fun?
Damn! I wish I knew if that was really her. How many women are there around here who would fit the description so well, AND be likely to turn up at that meeting?
I hope it was her. If so, I need no longer feel that I might suffer by comparison. (Oooo - catty! Bad girl! Slap fingers!)
Later edit - 2:15 pm. I have about convinced myself now that it was not her. It couldn't have been. Too much coincidence. Maybe I just want it to have been her. Oh, the drama! Oh, the excitement! Oh, I wish I knew. I wish I could find out for sure.
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