3975 Old Feminists Never Forget, and Never Forgive

Saturday, September 6, 2014

It's next to impossible for a woman to convince men in the workplace that they treat female coworkers differently from their male colleagues.  They vehemently deny it.  Given examples, they always have reasons.  She doesn't have the experience.  She's not as technically astute.  She doesn't see the big picture.  She doesn't have the necessary leadership qualities.  Blah blah blah.

Men don't listen to women the same way they listen to men.  If a man objects to some statement, they will listen and consider what's said.  If a woman makes the same objection, they immediately assume that she just doesn't understand.

Men rarely interrupt a man speaking in a meeting.  Women are regularly interrupted, and no one notices or objects.  If she objects and finishes her thought, no one listens and she's described as loud and pushy.

Stuff like that.

Personally, I got tired of men talking to my chest.

Well, finally we have observations from people who have been on both sides.  Transsexuals!  They know exactly what it's like to be a man or woman in the workplace, and then to experience the treatment as the other sex.  And they are the same person with the same skills in both roles.  They pretty much say exactly what women have been saying for eons.

They say that as a woman, no matter which way their change went, they got/get no respect.

The New Republic article is at http://www.newrepublic.com/article/119239/transgender-people-can-explain-why-women-dont-advance-work.   I urge you to read it, and pass it around, especially to MEN!

(And then wait and see - those men will opine that it's the addition or subtraction of testosterone.  Apparently, testosterone makes one logical.)

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I am reminded of a conversation I had with an IBM manager once.  He asked if  I wanted to go into management.  I said "No, I'd rather stay technical."

 He asked what my goals would be (he was thinking stuff like fellowship and so on).  I replied, "I want to be listened to in meetings.  I want that when I say something, people stop and listen and actually think about what I just said.  I want people to want to hear what I have to say."

 He said, "Oh, so you want to be seen as a technical expert?"

I blinked twice and said, "I! AM! a! technical! expert!!  I want them to stop staring at my breasts and listen when I speak.  Apparently they ARE subliminally hearing me, because after my observation is ignored, passed off as trivial, not even worth discussion, the next week some other guy says EXACTLY the same thing I said, using the EXACT same words, and everyone thinks he's a genius.  Nobody remembers my having said exactly the same thing with exactly the same arguments the week before.  I'm getting tired of that.  I don't know how to get past it."

He didn't know what to say to that.  Especially since he had been in some of the same meetings, and had seen it happen.
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