2734 Sleeping with a little boy.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Denis Johnson, "The Small Boy's Unit", Harper's, Oct. 2000, on the meaning of "everything is arranged" in Africa: "Everything is arranged doesn't mean you should expect to get anywhere or accomplish anything. In fact for sanity's sake these two ideas have to be banished. Everything is arranged means that all is complete, the great plan of the universe is unfolding before our eyes. So eat, drink, sleep. Everything is arranged."

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I've been working today trying to get control of paper. I haven't made it to the recycle center in literally two months, and it's getting hard to move in the kitchen for bags of paper, plastic, and piles of cardboard. I've got to find a better way to store this stuff. It would be even better to find some way to keep all this paper from entering the house in the first place.

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Miss Thunderfoot has been gone about six weeks, but her influence lingers. Jasper is still nervous in the den, Thunder's territory. On Sunday he explored the room past my chair a little bit, but he's still timid, and turned and ran when I moved the chair.

Also, when Miss Thunderfoot was alive, he wouldn't get on the bed at night until he was sure she was solidly asleep, about an hour after I went to bed, stayed diagonally opposite her, and would leave if she moved, and definitely was gone before morning. The past few days he's gotten on the bed when I settled in, but he still won't go near the upper right side, where Thunder slept.

I sleep on my stomach or side, and he will get on top of the back of my legs and knead, knead, knead, a long time, until I bend my knee enough that he has created a well between my legs. He'll curl up in there until I have to move my legs and he gets pushed out. The past few days I've found him tight against my knees when I wake.

He has also started purring. Never used to purr. And he "talks" to me more now. I've noticed before that when I had two or more animals, dog or cat, they'd relate to each other more than to me, even when they didn't get along, didn't socialize, like Jasper and Thunder. Then when I got down to one animal, I'd suddenly discover aspects of the remaining beastie's personality that they'd never shown me before.

Interesting.
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2266 Passing the Boob

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I took Miss Thunderfoot to the vet's today for her yearly checkup and immunizations (three months late). She went into the carrier with no problem, objected only a little in the car, and during the 30 minutes in the waiting room she curled up in the carrier and went to sleep.

In the examining room, however, she spat and slapped (without her claws out), and bit (gently, but threateningly), and growled so much the vet couldn't hear her heart. She's usually very calm. When I happened to mention that she hates other cats, especially males, the vet laughed. He said he had four adult male shelter cats in the next room, scheduled for neutering, and she probably smelled them.

Dr. M. was also amused that Thunder was 11 lbs 11 oz on her last visit, which happened to be on 11/11/07, and as of this month, she's 11 years and 11 months old. Lottery anyone?

I was aware that she'd been losing weight. She's now down to 8 lbs 9 oz, but the vet isn't worried because that's actually a healthier weight for her size, and he's attributing it to Jasper's exercising her more. I don't know. I'm going to keep an eye on her weight.

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I went to the doctor's office and got copies of all the breast reports. Then I went to the radiologist's and picked up my old films, and film and CD of Friday's Mammogram and ultrasound.

This is beginning to look like a game of "pass the buck".

The radiologist says there's no change from the last mammogram (2002), and no abnormalities are seen. Oddly, they still say my breasts are dense. They don't feel so dense any more.... Then after all the "no problems" comments, it says "Assessment: Incomplete; need additional imaging evaluation. Recommendation: Ultrasound..."

The ultrasound report says "No ultrasound abnormality is seen.... Assessment: Negative.... Recommendation: Surgical consultation of the left breast ... decision to aspirate/biopsy a palpable mass should be based on clinical grounds."

There IS NO PALPABLE MASS! All of this is saying there's nothing wrong! But no one wants to take the responsibility to say "There's nothing wrong." They're just passing me up the line. The surgeon gets the big bucks, so let him say there's nothing wrong. I hope he isn't scared, too, or I'll end up with needle aspiration of a perfectly healthy nipple!

I'm even more certain now that it was just an infection in a duct.

Oh, yeah, the culture results were "Normal saprophytic flora ..." which is also consistent with an infection that the immune system has stomped.

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I don't know if they did something different this time, or if the technology has improved since 2002, but these scans are so very much clearer. They used to stick a bead on the tip of the nipple, and then on the films, there was a large blank area between the bead and the start of the image. Now there is no bead, and you can actually see the nipple. Amazing. You can even see the skin around the edges.

The bright spots are calcium. Not a problem when they're isolated and scattered. One of them is a star shape (second view down). I don't like that one, just on principal (actually, it's some kind of marker, and it worries me because I don't know why it's there).

If you look where the nipple is in the third one down, there's a shaded part inside that looks almost like the nipple is inverted. I'm going to ask the surgeon about that. What is it, and why doesn't it look like that on the other views? The "chicklets" at the top in that one were exactly the same in the 2002 scans, so whatever they are, they're ok.

If you click on the scans, you'll get a much larger (life sized!) more detailed view.





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1614 Thank You, Plow Man

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

I was up late last night, so I slept late this morning. Usually the cats let me sleep, but this morning Jasper was bouncing all over my legs by 10:30, and Miss Thunderfoot was complaining loudly. Very unusual for her. I was having a nice dream, and held out until 11, but finally gave up and got up.

Their complaint was that it was 60 degrees (F) in the house.

I have a programmed thermostat, so the temperature does drop during the night, but never lower than 63, and it should be above 70 by 9 am. Something was wrong, and the cats didn't like it. Not one bit.

Neither did I.

The furnace fan was blowing, but it was blowing cold air. The outside temperature was 32. Freezing. We had power. I went to the basement, and the furnace was "running", but it was cold. The fuel tank gauge said "empty". I knocked on it with a knuckle, and it was hollow all the way down. I have a 250 gallon tank. I got a delivery only two months ago. Ouch!

Remember my chief concern about getting the top of my drive cleared? So the fuel oil truck could get up and turned around?

I called the oil company and told them I was out and needed an emergency delivery, then moved the Aerio to the street to make sure the truck could turn around. Within the hour, I heard the "beep beep" of a truck backing up the drive.

Backing up?

It was a new guy, and he didn't know that Ms. Silk always makes sure he can turn around (although the dispatcher knew, and had made sure to send a small truck). I met him at the top of the driveway, and scolded him, "Sheesh! I did all this work (waving at the cleared top) to make sure you'd be able to turn around, and you BACK up the drive? But I've gotta admire your courage!"

I guess it was a scary trip. This complete stranger walked up to me and hugged me, with a relieved laugh.

It took 253.1 gallons, at $2.449/gal. $619.84 total. It would have cost a lot more, but I had prepaid in September, with a discount on the September price. I've got one more delivery's worth of credit, then I'll have to pay the real price.

Let's hope it's a short winter.
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1545 Kitty Update

Monday, November 12, 2007

Jasper continues to grow. He is now, at perhaps 7 or 8 months, a bit larger than Miss Thunderfoot, at 11 years. Thunder still hates him, and won't allow him within five feet of her. He's gaining courage, and thinks it's great fun to bait her, and is now beginning to chase her. Not good. He knows well what "Jasper! No!!" means.

He's never still. Thunder sleeps all day, but I don't know that Jasper ever sleeps. Seriously - I have not seen him sleep except for a few brief naps on my lap with his chin on my elbow. Even then, I'm not sure he was actually asleep. He talks constantly, even when he's alone, and I fall asleep at night to "Eeeep eeeep", a tree frog in my living room.

He loves jingle balls, but even better are balls of crumpled aluminum foil. He bats the foil balls all over the kitchen and pantry floor, but when they stray through a doorway onto carpet, the foil balls don't make that wonderful sound anymore, and he immediately loses interest. I think he thinks he killed them.

He's a bad as a puppy. Puppies will chew whatever they find, and Jasper is almost as naughty. He plays with everything that's not nailed down. I'm finding spoons under sofas, the flyswatter has disappeared, and I'm missing shoes and gloves.

He and Thunder get the same food, Thunder in the kitchen and Jasper in the pantry, but Jasper is convinced that Thunder's food is better. When I put it down for them, he'll take a few tastes from his own dish, then go out and lurk in front of the refrigerator waiting for Thunder to leave her dish unguarded. He also has his own litterbox, and will piddle in it, but poops only in Thunder's litterbox.

So much drama. Poor Miss Thunderfoot. To be burdened with all this at her age.
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1448 Kitty Update

Monday, August 21, 2007

Since I sprayed the laundry room doorway with "comforting" pheromones this morning and Jasper was willing to come out, I've left the door open, and he's had the run of the house.

Miss Thunderfoot got several inoculations this morning, and she always runs a fever and gets sluggish for two days after, so it seemed like a good time to let Jasper loose.

They crossed paths only once today. Jasper was coming through the kitchen from the dining room, and Thunder was at her water dish. Jasper had to pass about three feet from her. She hissed, and he bushed out his tail, put his head down, and ran past her to get to the laundry room. She did not chase him. I praised both of them.

Jasper has the cutest little voice, and he talks a lot. Sitting here in the den I can track his progress through the house by the tiny high-pitched "Ee. Ee. Eep"s. He sounds like a shy sea gull.
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1447 Dear Diary - Monday

Monday, August 20, 2007

Miss Thunderfoot's annual vet appointment was today. She weighs 10 lb 11 oz, within 3 ounces of her weight the past three years, so I guess I'm feeding her right. It's a little over 10 years since we adopted her, and she was under a year then, so I'd say she's about 11 years old.

I asked the vet how I could ease her acceptance of Jasper, and he recommended a pheromone spray that calms cats. I sprayed it on the laundry room doorway, and it had an instant effect on Jasper. Ever since Thunder spat and swiped at him Saturday, he wouldn't go anywhere near the doorway. Right after I sprayed the doorway, he came right through and gingerly explored the kitchen. Thunder was in hiding, sulking, at the time.

The vet said that Thunder will need to express her desire to be dominant, and since Jasper doesn't seem to be aggressive and therefore should be willing to accept her dominance, it should work out eventually.

I hope.

The Hairless Hunk mowed my lawn while I was at the vet's, and he's out there now with a trimmer. Wearing a shirt. Boo.

Roman called today to lock in our day to go to the fair. It starts tomorrow and ends Sunday. We decided on Friday. He originally mentioned Wednesday, but I'll be seeing The Man Wednesday evening. I didn't tell Roman that. I just said that Wednesday and Thursday weren't good for me. Not that I'm hiding anything. Lines drawn and all that. None of his business, really.

I'm kind of blah today, don't know why. Stuff to do and I'm not doing it. Rebelling.
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1209 Flood

Monday, April 16, 2007

I spent some time planning trips today, making hotel reservations. The Maryland Mensa gathering over Memorial Day weekend is already out of rooms at the group rate, so I got an executive room at the regular rate. Not a big problem, it's only $20 a night more (and with any luck I'll have company), but I'm getting tired of Mensa groups not reserving enough rooms. They get snapped up too quickly.

I also finally located the hotel I had stayed in nearest to Jay's father's house in Irondequoit. For some reason, they had dropped off the internet last year, and I had to stay in that icky place where the fire alarm kept going off. The good place is back now, and it's a different chain, so I guess that explains it. I'll be going to Rochester for Dad's ninetieth birthday, the weekend of May 12.

Given the propensity for hotel rooms at the Mensa group rate to disappear, I'm booking the October Chicago gathering room now. I don't know what my travel plans will be, so I've booked from a day before to a day after the gathering. It's easier to cancel if I don't need the room than to try to get another day if I do.

I went out to run some errands today, and was surprised to find flooding on my street. My house is on the top of the ridge, and the road curves down. Several lawns had large deep puddles, and the water was running like a river down and across the road. I don't know where it was coming from. So I decided to drive around on the back roads a bit and see what's what.

Lots of houses have huge deep puddles in their lawns. I'm sure their basements are flooded. One house had a pair of ducks swimming in the lawn lake. It was kind of cute. They looked very happy, like they were planning to move in.

I went through a woodsy development to the south west of my house, and couldn't get out, because there's a little creek that winds through, and every turn I took ended at a flooded bridge. I had to retrace my steps out.

I went down to the river. I've never seen the Hudson so high and fast. I'll bet Kingston has lost all their beach sand.

The next county up is on emergency whatsis - nobody but essential services and occupations are allowed on the roads.

Miss Thunderfoot doesn't mind. When things get bad, she gets tuna fish.
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