3790 Three kinds of sleeping men

Sunday, November 3, 2013

I was lying in bed this morning, snuggled under the blankets with Jasper curled against the back of my knees, and I was thinking about which side of the bed I choose to sleep on.  I start on the left**, often roll over to the right during the night, then back to the left by morning.  I guess it's because the table with the clock and my eyeglasses is on the left.  At the country house, I sleep on the right, and pretty much stay there.

In my experience with sleeping with men (and I have a lot more experience than you'd even guess), I've found they seem to fall into three groups.

The first two groups don't consistently prefer one side over another.  Their choice is based on the layout of the room, and in that they are consistent.

1.  Some insist on sleeping on the side of the bed nearest the door.  If you ask, that's what they say, that they want to be nearest the door. Even if you're sleeping in a strange place, like a hotel, they want to be nearest the door.  Which side they sleep on changes with the room.  I think of them as "The Protectors".  These men also tend to walk toward the outside on sidewalks, and insist on opening doors for ladies.

2.  Some want the side of the bed nearest the bathroom, and if you ask, that's what they say.  The bathroom.  I think of them as "The Piddlers".   These guys tend to be a little  bit self-absorbed and stingy.

3.  Then there's the guys who always sleep on one particular side.  If you ask, they say that they always sleep on the left (or right), with raised eyebrows, like "Duh?  Is there any other possibility?"  Mostly you don't have to ask.  They simply state it as fact, no discussion allowed.  I think it probably has to do with which side of their body they sleep on, and want to be facing out, or in, and know exactly where the edge is.  These are "The Rigids".  They like things a certain way, seldom break routine.

Of course this is just my experience, and some men are combinations or exceptions.  The Man, for example, always sleeps on "his side" of the bed and is pretty Rigid in his habits (well, very rigid) and often his thinking, but in all else he is a Protector.

Do you prefer a particular side?  Why?

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**I'm never quite sure what people mean when they say "right" or "left" in reference to a bed.  Is it as when you lie on your back on the bed?  Or when you stand at the foot facing the head?

Seems to me that since the bed has a head and a foot, it would have a right hand and a left, so it would be like lying on the bed on your back.  But The Man uses the opposite, and we all know he's never wrong.
 
It doesn't  much matter what's correct, since the person speaking is not necessarily using it that way.

Later - We don't seem to have this problem with chairs.  "Put the table to the right of the chair" means to your right, not the chair's right, and most people understand that.  Oh, Good Grief!  Does that mean The Man is right again!?
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