In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate.
-- Isaac Asimov --
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One of the books I have been reading has a set of topics for discussion at the end, one of which, details aside, asks if all people should be held to the same standards of morality, or should circumstances and a person's life experiences be taken into consideration?
Wow.
That's such a simple question, but not something we tend to think about when we make judgements about people. We just do it. If their standards are not ours, we take circumstances and the other person's life into consideration and understand and excuse them, or we don't and we condemn them.
After thinking about it, I realize that my own morality, my standard for myself, has gotten tighter over the years, but I am less likely to hold others to my standard. I am more likely to be understanding (often), to the point of not even considering the deviations of others to be failings. In fact, when you take conditions, circumstances, and needs into consideration, I can often find a kind of high morality behind even base acts.
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A friend mentioned to me that his son had been convicted of a felony, and asked if that mattered to me. I said no, it didn't matter to me what he may have done, what matters is what he is doing now. And that's really true. I didn't even ask what the felony was.
I like me. That's not a terrible thing. Sometimes I drive people nuts by asking why they do or did something. They say it doesn't matter, but to me it does. I need to understand why. I need to understand where it fits in their life experience.
The greatest frustration is when I don't understand.
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