Monday, March 02, 2009

2291 Feeling Mean, Feeling Smug

Monday, March 2, 2009

I'm feeling particularly mean today. Annoyed. A lot of anger. I can't blast it at the source, but it's got to come out somewhere, so fasten a seat belt.

There are certain people whose blogs one should never read:
- Anyone you know in real life and want to like.
- Anyone you work with and need to not dislike.
- Any relatives it's inconvenient to dislike.

Yeah. I've about had it with a one o'them.

He is a very intelligent, capable, hard worker. Dependable. Gracious. This is all such good stuff. He cultivates an external appearance of modesty, humbleness, and sweetness. He credits his good fortune to God. You can't help but like him at first.

But after a while it changes.

In his blog he admits to small failures and imperfections, makes gentle fun of himself. But then you start to notice arrogance, and pride in his very lack of pride, if that makes any sense. That's the part that bites my tail the most.

Where one person would say, "I just did this thing, and wow, I was so lucky, it worked out so well, let me tell you about it", he will say, "I worked hard finding out about all about this thing, and then I did this and this, and it worked very well, and it could work as well for you, too, if you're willing to put as much thought and work into it as I did, you could do it too."

Gee. Thanks for your confidence in the rest of us.

Then he follows that up with a reminder of how modest and humble and grateful he is. That makes my teeth hurt.

You know, it's ok to be arrogant. It's ok to take credit when you know you did a good job. It's ok to be what you are, whatever that is. There's at the very least honesty and integrity in that. It's the false pose that bugs me.

I think I'm going to have to let him go.

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If I'm the same way, I apologize. But I don't think I pretend to be modest.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Condescending attitudes gripe me, too. And no, I don't see that in you. I wouldn't keep stopping by to read your posts, if I did.

Kate said...

Only one of the blogs I read is by someone that I personally know, and so far, it hasn't changed my opinion of her. I don't always agree with her, and am sometimes surprised by what she posts, and I'm sure she thinks the same about what I post.

It's a hard line when deciding who to let know about your blog. On the one hand, it's great to have more readers, on the other hand, I already find myself censoring what I say because of the 3 people that know me personally who do read my blog.

I think that it could easily change your opinion of someone that you thought you knew, or push you to the point of not wanting to know him/her anymore. Sometimes people exaggerate or write fictionally about what they would have liked to say in a certain situation, but I can see how knowing their inner thoughts could change your opinion of them, while you might not ever get that impression in real life.

Christine Dempsey said...

I always feel guilty when someone posts about someone they know who's blog they read. I know so many reasons why it could be me... And this isn't the first time.

~~Silk said...

Oh Good Grief Christine! It absolutely isn't you! What I like best about you and your blog is that you most certainly don't even pretend to be goody-goody. You are so very real and upfront, with no subterfuge, no coyness. You're one of those admirable people who ARE! consistently! exactly! what they present themselves to be.