I need to write about my friend's father. I posted a photo several months ago, and I'll post it again, because I love it:
This photo was taken by D. when D.'s mother was visiting with D.'s father at the nursing home early in 2007. D.'s father (hereinafter "DF") had several serious medical problems, including an on-again off-again dementia. D.'s mother (hereinafter "DM") is frail.
DF died early New Year's Day. He'd been on life support for a few weeks.
I've known D. for twenty-five years. He was a college co-op in our department at The Company in the early 80s, for two summers. He's a real sweetheart. I attended his wedding, and we've kept in touch by snail mail and email since. I was aware that he came from a large family, and judging from how he turned out, it was a good family, but that's pretty much all I knew.
I went to DF's memorial service yesterday, and I was completely blown away by DF's story, and by D.'s family dynamics.
DF was born in North Carolina in 1922, the eldest of his father's six children, although there were three older siblings from his mother's earlier marriage. His father supported the family of nine children through farming, fishing, and making and selling wooden farming tools. When DF was 13, his father died suddenly of a heart attack, and DF left school to support the family, pursuing his father's crafts.
During his later teens, he moved north for better employment. By 18, he was driving an 18-wheeler for a chemical company in Baltimore, sending money home, and eventually found a job up north for a younger brother, too.
He met and married DM in 1945, was drafted, and served in the Navy through WWII as a petty officer and drill instructor. After the war, he worked as a barber, mortician, business owner, cab driver, cobbler, and craftsman, sometimes holding two and three jobs at once. He also obtained his high school diploma from a Baltimore high school, studying at night while supporting his family, which now consisted of three children and a fourth on the way.
In the early 1950s, the couple bought a home in northwest Baltimore, and DF enrolled at Morgan State, majoring in English and Humanities. He pledged to DM that all their children would go to college.
DF wanted five children. DM wanted four. They had nine. My friend D. and his twin sister are the youngest. By then, DF was employed by the US Postal Service, the career from which he retired. And during that employment, he usually held down a second full-time job.
All nine children did go to college. The nine of them have earned a total of more than twenty undergraduate and graduate degrees in fields including fine arts, music, psychology (two of D.'s brothers are psychologists), business, and computer science (D.).
The grandchildren are continuing the tradition.
Now, what makes all this most amazing is that DF accomplished so much in the 1940s to '60s, in Baltimore. Think about the social climate of the time. The barriers to be overcome.
He just went out there and DID it.
.
4 comments:
God bless them and all their children and children's children.
What a sweet picture, and an amazing life story.
What a beautiful picture and such an inspiring story. Where there's a will there's a way. I would like to add that, even though the political and social climate may have been what it was in that time, people also respected hard work back then and did what they had to do to survive. I don't think they build 'em like that anymore... Have you read the book "The Greatest Generation"? I have not, but it's one I would like to read one of these days.
Everyone, This is the "D" in the story.
Silk, I just read your entry and you put a whole new perspective on my family for me! I just see them as my crazy, brilliant family; but you've made me look at what Mom and Dad did for us with new eyes. I knew growing up, we had something special; however, your brief re-telling of "our Story" makes it compelling, extra-special, heartwarming, iconic and bittersweet. As I said during the Memorial, my father was the greatest man I have ever known. He raised nine children and helped to raise 15 grandchildren and 8 great-grandchildren; all while sharing a great love affair with my mother for 63 years. He was a quiet, sweet, funny, wonderful, hard-working "Man's Man", and I will miss him very much. Thank you for sharing our story, and more importantly, for being my friend for over 25 years! Love, "D"
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